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bolt.

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bolt. last won the day on July 7 2013

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About bolt.

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    Hive Mind Level 4 Worker: Builder Bee

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  1. Our kitchen and dining nook walls are navy blue. It goes wonderfully with our cabinets (orange tones) and tile (very rustic dark grey) and plenty of windows. It was a risk to do a dark colour, but it is a very well lit space, and there isn't a lot of painted wall area between all the cabinets, windows, and backsplash tile covering most of the walls. I encourage you to try a dark colour in a kitchen!
  2. I think that you are completely right about this perspective. Would you "help" prepare a meal for a group gathering where there was a good chance that many people would get food poisoning from supplies you knew to be unrefrigerated? Would that be an act of service? I wouldn't support, encourage, or condone an event of this kind under the conditions you described. (It would also damage your credibility: "She cares so much about covid, but she really worked to make this event possible. How seriously does she really take it then?")
  3. Yeah. That sounds like your culture is actively manufacturing elder-care guilt in order to cope with the political and economic decisions that are made well above the average person's pay grade. Get out of the hospital ASAP, whether you can cope or not = an economic decision. The reason qualified normal elder care is not available to most middle-income people = an economic reason. The reason elder care specifically designed only to serve the destitute is terrible care = an economic reason. How bad is the care? I won't speak for the whole developed world (at least not w
  4. My parents were not abusive, and I have a fairly stable/good relationship with them these days... and I still have no intention of providing nursing care for them in my home. I really am under the impression that most elderly people go to the hospital one day with a health event of some kind. During their stay they are assessed as to their level of independence, either for recovery or for daily living. Some are prescribed various levels of home care. Those who are not capable of daily living are referred from the hospital directly into full time care to get the medical attention they need
  5. I'm in Canada, and here we always start with our family doctor (which I think you call a general practitioner?) and use their wisdom to figure out who to see next.
  6. What's getting lost is that you don't see 'a man that would act that way' as a generally unboundaried sexually demonstrative man who doesn't notice or care about women's reactions or consent. You don't internally predict that 'a man that would act that way' is apt to take other liberties other times with other women's bodies. That's what there is to be afraid of.
  7. It looks like he's been released on bail to live with friends of the family supposedly supervising his compliance with bail conditions.
  8. I usually sat with my not-so-mathy kid for their math work, but I have the luxury of only schooling one kid at a time. Even while sitting with them, though, I didn't respond to 'is this step right' inquiries. I just said, "I'm not going to confirm that for you. You can self-check it if you want, or you can proceed and see how it goes." It helps if you have normalized mistakes as a fantastic part of the learning process, so they don't view getting to the wrong answer as a huge problem. (Except when the concept is brand new, and I'm actually teaching it step by step, or if it's actuall
  9. I don't really think you should go at all. It sounds like they want to talk to him about his own conduct, and it would be best if you were not the focus of all of that. If they don't think they need you there, they are probably right. He will probably show his true colours just fine without you being there. It would be much better for you to let him come home to you and complain that the church is against him -- rather than having him feel like everybody is against him right now. Plus you could use the time that he is away to pack a 'go bag', secure important documents, make phone ca
  10. I don't think you've done nearly enough safety planning for the mess to hit the fan tonight. It will be a catastrophe. Wouldn't you rather make a solid plan and move out without the chaos, maybe sometime later this month? Please don't bring up separation at the meeting tonight. It won't go well. Don't tip your hand. Just get your ducks in a row first, then make your move when *you* are ready. Just let him keep believing, "She would never leave me." -- right up until the moment the door shuts behind you. You are so much safer when he feels unthreatened. God is fine with you telli
  11. Are you planning to use this meeting as an opportunity to "play along" with him, to soothe him so that you can make a safe exit sometime in the next few months? It sounds more like you are actually going to try making yourself vulnerable by telling the truth as you see it to these extra witnesses. Why do you want his plan to "backfire" -- does that outcome benefit you in some way? Do you think the church will be of some kind of assistance if they somehow see his true colours? What are *you* looking for out of this meeting?
  12. That's a really good step! This is not an easy process. Keep on being brave!
  13. Yes, I hear you. It's so normal to feel hopeless in these situations. Problems like the ones in your household are the type of thing that really feel like they are going to chew all of you up and spit you out. I'm so sorry! Remember that you are not alone. Make space for all of your feelings. Maybe stretch yourself a little to wonder if it's possible that you have more power than you can see in yourself right now. (If that's not too hard.)
  14. Bacon Cheddar Chicken Breasts: Preheat oven to 400. Lay chicken breasts out a single layer in a baking dish. Season both sides with garlic powder, onion powder, paprika and salt. Top with bacon bits and shredded cheese. Insert temperature probe into a thick part. Bake until internal temperature is 161 degrees. Greek Chicken Kabobs: Cut into cubes. Marinate with olive oil, lemon juice and Greek seasoning. Grill on skewers. Serve with Greek salad, rice, and puffy flatbread. Chicken Fajitas: Buy the seasoning packet. Follow the instructions. Serve with mushrooms (on the s
  15. There are probably some local organizations that help abused women and children in your area. You need to begin making a solid exit plan in a strategic way. How are things financially? Can you begin skimming off some money into an account he won't have access to? Or in cash? Do you have a vehicle that is 'yours'? Can you begin keeping things in there without him noticing what is going on? Can you move important documents out of the house? Is he doing more that talking crap? Is there an implicit threat that makes you willing to sit through these conversations? What would happen i
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