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bolt. last won the day on July 7 2013

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About bolt.

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  1. Just wanted you to know that I'm keeping you in my prayers. You're an intelligent woman dealing with a lot of big stuff. Keep trying, OK?
  2. I remember a teen book in the '80s that went to the trouble of debunking a myth like this -- that girls could pause their periods by crossing their eyes or some-such. For me, if teen novels can debunk this, an OB believing it is inexcusably unprofessional.
  3. Well, that's a bright side at least -- it's been installed vertically. It isn't going to give you all leaning-tower vertigo as you walk by.
  4. Is it actually slightly off-vertical, or does the photo just look that way?
  5. I suggest waiting to see if she needs them before shopping. I'm Canadian, so my store recommendations would be worthless, but all the women I know manage to find flat or near-flat practical-but-nice boots for our snowy winters. They range from ankle boots to quite tall, and some women do manage a chunky heel fairly well if the sole has good traction. Usually a slim look and a semi-pointy toe are good features. (Some women just wear snow boots and keep 'indoor shoes' at their offices -- like schoolkids do.) I imagine if that's what people are wearing, then it will become fairly obvious how to buy them locally.
  6. I'm thinking you might be feeling a bit old-fashioned... or chilly. (Unless her workplace have a dress code or something?) Having one sweater on the back of her chair should be more than enough if the AC is high. Black is ideal. How cold is your winter? She might well feel fine for a short walk (if she parks close to her destination). If she takes public transit or otherwise has a long walk, she may like to receive a pair of warm tights/leggings and/or dressy boots for Christmas. (Black or grey.) Another thing she might like is a few cheap necklaces to dress up the plain necklines.
  7. Lots of laws are written towards the goal of allowing people to do generally whatever they like within limits. It's the limits that need a specific definition... The 'whatever they like' parts don't tend to need much specificity.
  8. The definition of gender (the definition itself) simply settles the issue that the word itself means a specific thing - not another thing. Gender, as a word and a concept, simply does not refer to the physical or medical attributes of biological sex. It refers to thoughts, feelings, presentation, identification, relationships, roles, and various functions of society. It only refers to those things, so it has a very limited function. Sociology is a soft science, and vagueness can be a problem - but as a working definition discribing human complexities it's not bad. The proper definition of this word does not, itself, imply that attributes of gender are-or-ought-to-be prioritised over attributes of sex. It simply allows realistic and precise discussion around the possible prioritisation of the two. For me, the relative prioritisation of sex attributes and gender attributes is a personal decision. I don't need a role in making that choice for someone else. I'll just respect whatever conclusion each individual reaches in their own life.
  9. Honestly, I think you are working too hard to try to make him happy full time. You probably aren't getting any suggestions from his mom because it's likely that his mom doesn't do that. She probably doesn't even understand that you are asking how you might behave so that he is never sad or out of sorts, and also not terribly annoying. It's not actually possible. It's just that most kids have the social skills at that age to mask their minor discontent and get over things without being obvious about it. This kid is obvious about it... But that doesn't make if your job to amuse him better or never upset him. Just let his feelings be part of the day. It doesn't need to be a show stopper if he isn't content and you can't help much. That's actually just fine, just say something kind like 'I'm sorry this is bothering you.' and carry on with normal life. He will probably move on in his own way. (Also let him be a bit annoying with how he amuses himself. He's a special needs child. If his choices are only in the annoying range, consider that part of what you signed up for.)
  10. It's just meant to be a less uncomfortable set of relationships in which to experiment with language -- specifically because gender is meaningless to pets, and because (most often) the sex of our pets is nearly meaningless to us. One of the barriers to using gender neutral "they" is that it's different and it feels strange. It's hard to speak that way in public. It doesn't feel natural. If you 'mess around with it' for a while in your own space with no one watching it's easier to get used to it. It can make for fewer awkward pauses, errors, and anxious faces when dealing with actual people who *do* care what you call them. It was presented as (a) advice for people who want to respect people's chosen pronouns but find themselves involuntarily uncomfortable, and (b) as a way to make that sort of language seem more normal without introducing it in controversial way (by using it when you discuss pets with other people). I'm sorry if I didn't describe it clearly. They weren't suggesting that gender neutral pronouns are helpful to animals. They were suggesting using animals as a sort of 'prop' to help people successfully make a language shift (for people who actually want to do that) in baby steps.
  11. One interesting suggestion that I read was that people might consider "practicing" by using singular they pronouns for animals. For one thing, you can't make your pet uncomfortable, so it's okay to play with language and feel a bit awkward about it. Your pet won't take offense. For another thing, the gender of pets is completely irrelevant in many situations (aside from breeders) and, often, pets have been spayed or neutered. Being 'fixed' doesn't change their biological sex, but it does open a sense that we aren't quite so obligated to verbally refer to them by gender in every sentence. Obviously, livestock is a bit different: where sex and fixed-not-fixed status is relevant information in nearly every sentence -- but it can be interesting to take this baby step and see how it feels to just say, "Who's a good dog?" instead of making it about boys and girls all the time.
  12. We use a lot of "the student" and "their" in formal staff discussions about students at my workplace (a Bible College). We find that this helps when we are trying to communicate about a situation without revealing who the student is -- the student body is small, and it's often quite easy to guess who the 'confidential' student in question is just by the story being discussed. There's no need to narrow down the guessing field by half by revealing which gender the student is. We also find that it helps keep gender bias out of administrative or academic decisions. For example if "the student" was rude in class, 'she' shouldn't get a pass because 'of the stereotype that girls can be emotional or easily overwhelmed; if "the student" is habitually late with assignments 'he' shouldn't get more slack because of the stereotype that boys struggle with formal academics. If emotions are an excuse for rudeness, young men deserve that freedom too. If academic difficulty is an excuse for tardy assignments, we should be equally gracious to young women. Not knowing which one we are talking about (or knowing, but being in the habit of talking about students without specifying) can help keep the playing field level.
  13. Number of "steps of distance" is 'first, second, third' etc. Number of "generations apart" is 'once removed, twice removed' etc. Your dad and 'her grandma' are first cousins -- they are in the same generation, born from parents who came from the same set of siblings: basic cousins. You are one generation younger than your dad, but no further apart from that branch of the family -- therefore you are first cousins once removed to 'her grandma'. 'Her mom' is one generation younger than 'her grandma', meaning you are in the same generation as her mom, but the two of you are a step further apart -- therefore you are second cousins with 'her mom'. 'She' is one generation younger than 'her mom', but no further apart than that branch already was -- therefore you are second cousins once removed to 'her, herself'. Your children are one generation younger than you, meaning that they are in the same generation as 'her' -- but she and your children are a step further apart than you-and-she. They are third cousins to one another.
  14. Quebec, a French-language province of Canada, has recently enacted a law to forbid overt religious clothing (such as head coverings) for people in 'positions of respect' employed by the provincial government. This means that women who would prefer to cover their hair will face obstacles in becoming/remaining (among other things) politicians, public school teachers, staff in government offices, doctors, and nurses. (It doesn't apply exclusively to hijabs or exclusively to women, so there is a wider conversation to be had... but) to me, as far as it applies to head-covering women, this is nothing more than building barriers: forcing them to either abandon their culture/religion or abandon their jobs/ambitions. That doesn't seem in keeping with values like equality, freedom, etc.
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