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Farrar

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Farrar last won the day on September 9

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  1. I don't disagree that she should strongly consider not seeing the boy. But I also think if her parents are this controlling then she needs to be sure she gets out sooner rather than later. That might mean not going to college right away, which makes me furious on her behalf.
  2. One of my kids said he was going to get an Australian Nintendo account to get the release earlier. Lol.
  3. Parents who threaten to withhold your homeschool records are 1) evil and 2) not to be trusted ever. Documentation should belong to the student. Period. She should follow the above advice. I especially would say she should not ask her parents for these things, but rather should take them when the parents are not home and put them in a secure location, possibly not at home. It's HER birth certificate, HER SS card, etc. If she's not in possession of them now, these are the sorts of basic documents they may withhold to try to control her. If she has to leave, she will need copies and getting them without parental cooperation costs time and cash. She especially should do as Lori suggested and cut them off any access to her banking and change her PIN and passwords. She should also possibly just change those across the board for all her devices. She should make a plan in case things get worse. Parents who threaten this sort of thing, again, cannot be trusted. She's legally an adult. They have no more legal obligations to her (ethical, yes, but they've proven they're not ethical by saying they'll withhold her graduation to control her). She needs to make an emergency plan for what happens if and when (likely when) things get so bad that she needs to leave or they kick her out. She needs a place to go, first off. She needs to have her documentation safe where she can get it. She needs to go ahead and do as Elizabeth suggested and make her own transcript in case she needs it. She also needs to start taking steps toward as much financial security as she can muster - get control of her phone plan, her insurance, etc. The best thing you can do is help her with all of these steps and offer her a place to stay if she has to leave.
  4. Right. Sometimes for high school, I'm learning alongside the kids in some ways. If they struggle, then we struggle together and that's okay. We work until the work has reached a level of mastery, time, and production that satisfies me. And maybe at that point there's a test. But not until we're there. I think this is something being lost these days - which is maybe just the trends of homeschooling - but it's okay to be learning alongside or not that far ahead of your kid and tweaking as you go as a result. But even when that's not the case - there were times I thought I'd taught something well in school, only to realize when the tests came back that I hadn't. When students fail when they're putting their best foot forward, it's often a sign to back up.
  5. This is where age comes into play though. I actually do think that level of... um... scaffolding (cough, nagging)... can be appropriate for a 6th grader. This is one of the hardest ages for kids! Middle school is a crummy model that asks too much in terms of EF of average kids! And they ask it at a time when kids are at their most spacey right at the cusp of puberty and all the brain growth and issues that come at that moment. A lot of 6th graders still have to really think hard to write their own ideas down. Expecting them to maintain their own checklists and so forth is... it's too much! A college student though... that's a different ballgame. Yeah, that level of helicoptering is too much. So there is a difference there.
  6. I want to add a thought... when a student fails (or, in this case, gets a mediocre grade), I think the teacher has to ask themselves a question. Who is at fault? The teacher or the student. There's not a single answer to this, of course. Sometimes it's absolutely the student or mostly the student. However, teachers should be asking themselves this question all the time. Good teachers DO ask themselves this question. And if the answer is the teacher, at least partially, then I think the teacher owes it to the students to make amends and not punish them for a failure of instruction or environment. Sometimes that means tossing out a test that they realize they'd inadequately prepared the students for. Sometimes it means redoing a lesson or teaching material in a new way. Sometimes it means giving students a shot at extra credit or a test retake. I think it really depends on what the teacher sees. I've totally been in this sort of situation in the classroom and at home with my own kids. If you reflect and think, I should have done this differently, then I think the ethical thing to do is to give students another shot in some form. So I guess the question is, did your ds just not succeed at Spanish or did you and the choice of text fail him in some part by not offering adequate support? And if the answer is at least in part yes (and it sounds like maybe it is), then I think it would be unethical not to offer some form of extra credit. And that's in addition to the fact that I really think the most fair grading system would include participation and at least a little bit of culture for any beginning foreign language course.
  7. In my experience, school teachers do offer extra credit on the fly, or after seeing that their class struggled when they didn't fully expect them to. I can understand if someone individually objects to doing this... I do think if a teacher has taught the class many times in the same environment then it's fine to have things really set in stone. But most of the time, there are variables that teachers don't anticipate - new textbooks that are easier or harder, new assignments that turn out to be more challenging, students who were supposed to have covered previous material but didn't, situations with bad weather or traumatizing local events or the like that mess with the flow of school and throw everything off... lots of things can happen. Most teachers do respond to the class and the situation as it arises and do modify their plans in all kinds of ways - including by deciding to offer extra credit or test retakes that they didn't originally intend. Changing the whole format or grading scale in a set class is unfair to the students... but these sorts of changes are common. I don't see it as unethical at all.
  8. I know the conversation has moved on a bit, but just looking back at the things the OP said, I feel like the central question isn't whether or not one should provide the option of support for a student with EF deficiencies, but to what extent a parent should insist that those supports be used and followed when the student is unwilling. And at what age one should be insisting. For me, for a kid-driven homeschool project, no insistence at all. Fail away, my child. For a school project for a major grade for a brand new middle schooler... sorry, kid, but this is why we do these things. No option to fail based on your desire to ignore the scaffolding.
  9. Yeah, that’s a wild price. I’ve paid that much for classes, but like semester long or serious professional training that was more than once a week, like ds’s ballet. That seems surprisingly expensive.
  10. I’d have her test again. 😕 Tests vary. She just hit a hard one, at least for her. She may do better on the next. Or not, but given her goals and how close she is, it seems worth a shot.
  11. Wow. That’s a very enlightening read, especially about the relationship between other Black Christian performers and white evangelicals.
  12. I'm just smh at the idea that an 11 yo needs to be cut loose and not get much support. It's baffling. 11 yos are babies. Support doesn't make you unable to function in the world later. It gives you a base to grow from. If someone has a diagnosed disability like ADHD, they will also have access to support services in college too. There's a lot of good advice in this thread. I hope the OP can hear even a little of it.
  13. Seconding what EKS said. I think that we tend to think of foreign language as being a stepping ladder a little like math. You can't realistically understand algebra without understanding arithmetic, or multiplication without addition - it builds on itself to a large extent. And there is a sort of accepted definition of what "Spanish I" and "Spanish II" on a high school level will generally have covered. But I think foreign language skills are so much more circular. When I came back from China, I took a Chinese class to try and keep my (relatively low level of) fluency up. The teacher loved me because I was the only one in class who would talk. People in the class were like, what the heck, how do you ramble on in Chinese like that or understand the video or whatever. But then came the tests - they all passed and I failed. The skills for the tests were totally different from the skills for chatting. My point is just that I think with foreign language that anything that's bringing up a student's confidence and fluency is fine. A whole course that was just learning to implement the Spanish of Spanish I and II would be a useful way to spend time (and fine to give some sort of credit for) because passing the test and using the language in the wild are different skills. And I would fully expect a student taking the second year of a language to have to practice the skills from the previous level routinely and to even have that incorporated into the coursework would be fine.
  14. It's more evidence that the crowd he hopes to win is mostly white evangelicals. I know Osteen's church is more diverse than most white-led churches in the south, but I find the racial dynamics of this whole thing to be not awesome. It seems to me that Kanye and white evangelicals are using each other, neither in healthy ways.
  15. I have very dark hair and have never been able to get mine truly white, but it's always been plenty for whatever color I'm putting in... even blues and greens, which I think need a lighter base. I was intimidated the first time, but you can definitely do it.
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