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Farrar last won the day on May 30 2018

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About Farrar

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    Expert Cat Herder

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  1. I appreciated that my parents and their new spouses were able to sit together at my wedding, at my brother's graduation, even at dinners around those things, and be totally pleasant, even if I knew they didn't have a super high opinion of each other (to understate it a bit). But I also know people who eloped to avoid having to put their parents in the same room again. I think it is whatever it is.
  2. Those are all good reasons to have a sit down. In a healthy divorce, even if the parents dislike each other or are angry, I think having a special needs kiddo and a pool and all that would mean they would all sit down and talk about consistency. Some people in this thread are being a bit dismissive about wanting or feeling you need that but I think it's totally reasonable and makes complete sense. Being purposeful about meeting and consistent parenting is totally a good thing and not a silly, why would she ask for this thing at all. But it's not going to happen so your friend has to move on from that idea. I would also say she should not try to sneak behind his back to meet her. And she should definitely stay away from trying to influence her into thinking he's a narcissist or anything along those lines. When they do meet - which seems likely to happen eventually - she should be her most normal, calm self and act like it's all fine, even if she's frustrated about a million different things. And if new wife, in that context, creates an opening for her to offer advice or suggest that they chat about parenting and consistency with the ex as well, then she should calmly take that opportunity to suggest it. Like, if new wife says, "Yeah, kid was quite a handful last weekend!" then she could say, "Kid can be. I was thinking it could be useful for ex and you and I to chat about keeping things consistent since consistency helps kid, if you're both open to it." And if she says no or ex steps in to say no (which seems pretty likely), then she has to be like, okay, I understand, and let it go. Because nothing but her best behavior is going to go over even half-decently.
  3. Statistically speaking, more American kids just are taking calculus now than before. And the expectation that all college bound students really have to do it is definitely newer. I certainly went to a school that offered it in the early 90's - in fact, my school offered differential equations for after calculus. And I had algebra in 8th grade. But I didn't take it - I took what was basically a statistics class instead. And that was considered okay because I wasn't headed to a STEM field. I loaded up on the hardest lit and history courses my school offered instead - things like Psychology and Literature and AP Euro History. I think now, I wouldn't have been "allowed" to do that. That's different.
  4. In the cases I know of, it's not a question of approval, it's more like, ex and I co-parent and you're about to be involved in the co-parenting so let's lay eyes on each other and say hello and try to keep it cordial. This is something I know that has happened in at least a few really angry divorces that I know of. Of course, there's angry, I still hate you, but we're doing the best we can for the kids divorces and there's let's have an all out war and who gives ****** about the fallout for the kids because they're just pawns divorces. I know the latter exist, I just haven't known anyone in those personally - thank goodness.
  5. In every divorce situation I know personally, the ex and the new spouse/partner have at least met for the reason she is asking. I do think it's normal and reasonable for her to ask that. I do think it's concerning that he doesn't want to allow it. I think in a practical sense that if they share custody, both attend events like birthdays and school assemblies that involve the kids, it may require some interesting jumping through hoops for these two women to somehow never lay eyes on each other. But at the same time, I don't think she can do anything about it and causing a giant fuss would not be productive for her or the kids. I think she could take a breath and know that this is apparently the divorce she has. Absent abuse that she can prove, she can't control who he introduces to their lives.
  6. Have him read this thread to see that we're all saying he should go ask for help now. Sometimes kids need to understand that this is not just mom's "weird" concept of how things are done.
  7. I think it's ok. You have a farm. Aren't you allowed? It's when the person I know who has a yard the size of my tiny living room says this that I get really concerned.
  8. The Russian bots doing it - especially building these "echo chambers" that they reference - is what disturbs me the most. They essentially identify who is most vulnerable to them and then make everything you see make it seem like a particular viewpoint is dominant when it's not. Or like there's a raging debate about something that only few fringe people are debating. This is what I keep telling people who still use those quiz apps on Facebook. And they're like, oh, I'm poor and my data isn't worth anything. And I'm like, it's not about selling you something anymore, it's about using you as a product and building a whole world around you so that your entire sense of what's true and false gets messed up - because that's the extent to which we all rely on the internet to tell us things and interpret information. I don't know what we can do about it either.
  9. I vote no unless you isolate yourselves. I do think it makes it easier to control if you have a child who has an issue with being immunocompromised or needs to limit exposure - I know a couple of families in that boat and they feel homeschooling has been part of the approach for them. But most people aren't being really proactive like that. Assuming you go on field trips and have friends, you'll probably get most of the things.
  10. I haven't, but I love Conan's cultural comedy - his stuff in Japan was great. I know they're a big part of the culture, though I'm definitely no expert. My step-brother lived there for awhile and he was once arrested in one. It's his best Korea story (it all resolved fine and it wasn't his fault - just a long story). Off to watch.
  11. Farrar

    7th grade composition

    I think the purpose isn't clear in the first paragraph anywhere. So then the second paragraph reads like it's just a continuation of talking about the book. So it wasn't until the third paragraph that I realized, oh, this is talking about how Rab was successful in changing Johnny. That's pretty far in for the reader to not know the purpose of the paper. I think her style at the start threw me off. It felt like I was reading narration just talking about Johnny's character and the people who influenced him. When I look at it now, I can see the thesis in the second paragraph at the end. It's just that it didn't feel clear to me at that point in reading that this was a thesis statement. I think because by that point she had spent just as long talking about Johnny being rude and about Mr. Lapham, so it felt like yet another piece of information she was exploring instead of, oh, this is the whole topic of the paper. I think I'd move it up and just emphasize the purpose of the paper from the get go. Introductions are just very tricky - you want to do what she did and give a lot of background information when needed. But here it undermined understanding the purpose of what I was about to read. The rest is actually very well organized around that statement. She's really an excellent writer. I would say that this clearly is a lit analysis paper, by the way. It's not some sort of magic formula to make one. Any time you have a clear and organized answer to a question about the whys and hows of literature, that's lit analysis. I know it's not exploring it through concepts of "theme" or other lit terms, but that doesn't undermine the purpose. This is a perfect essay to build for high school down the road.
  12. I think you want to have the ability to take the kids out of the country without his permission as well. I know there's a way to do that because I knew someone who went through a legal process to do it. The father of her kids, who had never been involved in their lives past their very early youth, wasn't in touch with them at all. She had to do something in order to get the kids passports when they were a little older. I agree about asking the lawyer about how the FAFSA will work to be sure. I'm also sorry you're dealing with this.
  13. If rhetoric is important to you, you should do it for that reason. And you can then make it work for colleges. I think if you did no significant study of literature for all of high school, it would be like only doing chemistry throughout high school. Colleges would be like, um, what is this? But just because nearly all public schools have their college track students doing writing in context of learning about literature doesn't mean you have to take that approach. And combining something like a semester of rhetoric with a semester of lit study totally seems like it equals a normal English credit to me. With history, colleges don't expect a student to have done anything like the four year history cycle either - but there are lots of ways to credit it and make it work on the transcript that are totally fine. As long as you don't entirely skip literature study, I think take the path you prefer and is right for the student.
  14. I think it's about how you sell it and write about it and where you apply. But also, I think tabletop games may have a cache among non-gamers that MTG lacks.
  15. I'm no expert in the classical rhetoric path, but I think the skills would potentially lead in just fine for a student wanting to do AP Lang and Comp - not so much for a student wanting to do AP Lit. To be successful on AP Lit, you need to read a lot of literature leading up to taking the exam. I don't think it would look weird at all to have a half credit course in rhetoric if it wasn't the primary English course. It would be an English elective. Colleges (at least, most mainstream ones) aren't looking for classes in a rhetoric sequence at all. They are definitely looking for literature.
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