Bras: are they actually uncomfortable?

[bolt.]

Bras: are they actually uncomfortable for you?

Focus on physical comfort, we all know that bras can help with social comfort levels.

Please add comments if you think there are factors (like, maybe, cost/quality of bras or abundance of b00ks, style of bras, etc.)

Edited July 5, 2020 by bolt.

[Matryoshka]

I'll be the probably tiny dissenting voice, unless everyone else like me has just been letting the bra-haters be loud.

I feel physically more comfortable in a bra.  I even wear a cami with a shelf bra to bed.  I have big droopy b00ks and I feel physically more comfortable with them not flapping about like basset hound ears.  And I don't find bras uncomfortable at all.  Don't hurt my back or shoulders.  I have a weird pointy rib cage, so I don't like a band at the bottom - those are uncomfy to me, but not just because of the band but I feel like they don't support as well; I wear underwires and I find them comfy.  I have never had one poke me unless it's old and broken - and I've been wearing underwire bras every day for over 40 years.   I can't help but think a lot of people are buying the wrong bra size.

I'm not worried here about social comfort - I'm old enough that it didn't use to be a worry if your nipples showed, and lots of people didn't wear bras at all.  All these super-lined bras and everyone worrying about their nipples and not worrying about their bra straps hanging out all over (I'm looking at you, younger generation 😉 ), just make me go ???  Used to be never show your undies, but we all know you're a mammal.

[J-rap]

Haha, I looked at the survey replies and thought it interesting that everyone answered the same as me!  Then realized I was the first one to answer.  😄

I've always been into the comfort factor of clothes, so that's probably the #1 thing I look for in a bra.  So if it's uncomfortable, I don't own one.  If the question is:  Is it more comfortable to go without a bra?  I do find comfort in the support of a bra, so I'll keep wearing them.  I generally get ones without wire.  I really like comfortable (often wider) straps and a comfortable band.  I like some support in the cups, but not stiff.  I wore an Olga style "natural" bra for years that attached in the front, because I still haven't mastered attaching it in the back.  Now I've shifted to mostly Aerie bras.  I'm an average size, not abundant.  When I used to run a lot, I wore sports bras and I needed them.  If I were to get back into running, the bras I have now wouldn't work.

[Sneezyone]

I have indentions in my shoulders from wearing bras as an early developer and well endowed individual. I hate them with a fiery passion but wear them anyway out of necessity.

Edited July 5, 2020 by Sneezyone

[Matryoshka]

1 minute ago, J-rap said:

Haha, I looked at the survey replies and thought it interesting that everyone answered the same as me!  Then realized I was the first one to answer.  😄

I've always been into the comfort factor of clothes, so that's probably the #1 thing I look for in a bra.  So if it's uncomfortable, I don't own one.  If the question is:  Is it more comfortable to go without a bra?  I do find comfort in the support of a bra, so I'll keep wearing them.  I generally get ones without wire.  I really like comfortable (often wider) straps and a comfortable band.  I like some support in the cups, but not stiff.  I wore an Olga style "natural" bra for years that attached in the front, because I still haven't mastered attaching it in the back.  Now I've shifted to mostly Aerie bras.  I'm an average size, not abundant.  When I used to run a lot, I wore sports bras and I needed them.  If I were to get back into running, the bras I have now wouldn't work.

It's the support.  I can't even shop in a place like Aerie or Victoria's Secret - they never had bras that fit my size.  I think people with smaller, less gravity-attracted b00ks likely have a different opinion.  And LOL, I can attach a bra in the back without even thinking... and in my size, there are often more hooks! (though I tend to like the ones that don't have so many - some of those bigger ones are made more like some harness.  Do not like those.)  I've recently lost a bunch of weight, so things are more manageable, but still can't shop in those kinds of stores.  I do have a hard time finding bras that fit me - if I have to find a new style, I try on a huge amount till I find one that fits.  Most fit horribly; I don't buy them.  I can't even rely on one brand over another; it seems random.

[Matryoshka]

4 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

I have indentions in my shoulders from wearing bras as an early developer and well endowed individual. I hate them with a fiery passion but wear them anyway out of necessity.

The back strap is actually supposed to be doing most of the support.  It shouldn't ride up in the back, and it shouldn't be putting all the weight on your shoulders.  I've heard a lot of women buy too big a back and too small a cup. (there's a weird relationship; a cup gets larger as the back goes up, so a 36D and a 34DD are close in size).

[YaelAldrich]

13 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

I always think the whining about bras being uncomfortable is a fit issue for many women, outside of those with genuine sensory issues. 

I have rather generous bOOks, anywhere from 34-40J, depending on where I’m at with my weight. Many bras I don’t favor because of the material or cut, but a properly tight band and correct width of underwire makes them very reasonable to wear for a full work day.  After 16ish hours I find it can start to dig and chafe, especially with sweat, but I also have a very heavy set to support.

Not wearing a bra is way less comfortable, especially in public.  It hurts my neck and back way more then my good polish bras do. And a bra is WAY more comfortable than a mask, bar none, I do NOT get that argument these days at all 😑

What is it with Polish bras?!?!?  I bought a fancy shmancy "lady of the night" kind one from an online lingerie store.  Most comfortable bra ever and I look thinner and and the bOOks look gravity free (38D cup).  I have gained some weight so the band is too tight now but I still wear it.  I need to get other ones.  But they were not cheap...

[Matryoshka]

5 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

And yes, quality matters.  Cheaper bras don’t do it for me, if I can even find my size (almost never) the chafing or scratching is an issue, or they wear out way too soon.  For US brands/imports in Intimacy, HerRoom, Figleaves and the like, Empreinte and Prima Donna are my favorites.  Occasionally I can find a good Elomi sports bra.

But for anything that’s cost effective and comfortable and well cut, I order overseas from Ewa Michalak. Once you dial in the right size, they’re very difficult to beat for pretty, extremely well cut, durable, and a good value on cost.  Every time I’ve strayed and just bought one at Nordstrom’s over the years, I always end up going back. It’s been fifteen years or so of excellent, beautiful, comfortable bras.  A little tougher to break in than the luxury brand I listed above, but half the cost for as good or better of a silhouette and a really supportive construction.

LOL, you are even more persistent than I.  I am cheap and lazy and am still buying things at Kohl's.  Maybe that's why I need to try on a zillion different bras...  but that's also why I've been hesitant buying one without being able to try it on first...

Edited July 5, 2020 by Matryoshka

[historically accurate]

I had a double mastectomy 10ish years ago, and I happily have not worn a bra since. I didn't like them before that (I was about a D cup), although they weren't horrible. Mastectomy bras should probably be registered as a torture device and you pay premium for being tortured, so I just go without. Note: I did have reconstruction surgery, so I do have somewhat of a shape (although they're not great and really small compared to what I was used to). 

[Pawz4me]

I mostly don't mind bras, but it's been a couple of decades since I've worn anything except a sports bra or a soft sleep bra. But when I stop to think about it--yes, my daytime sports bras are at least somewhat uncomfortable. But I wouldn't be comfortable without one, either. So it's the lesser of two evils. The sleep bras I wear are super comfy, and I definitely feel better with one of them than w/o.

[KungFuPanda]

I HAVE comfortable bras, but nothing is more comfortable than going braless. I’m doing a lot of camis with shelf bras while I’m stuck at home. I’m small enough to get away with cheap, soft cup bras because I need coverage but not support. I HAVE underwire bras, but I usually only wear them if I’m behind on the laundry AND I have to leave the house. In bulky winter clothes nobody would know if I were wearing a bra or not. My bellydance costumes are padded so I can fake a B cup. 😬 

I think the “you’re wearing the wrong size” evangelism is a bit pointless with smaller sizes. Wearing the “correct” size for me means a tighter band is choking me all day. When gravity isn’t really an issue super snug bands can be overkill.  Also, with smaller sizes, the exact position of your Girls doesn’t impact your overall look enough to be super fussy about it in casual situations. 
 

eta: I’ve never worn a bra that’s painful.  Even my most structured bras with wires don’t hurt. I just prefer to not wear one at all. If actual pain were involved I’d probably take greater care when selecting a bra. 

Edited July 5, 2020 by KungFuPanda

[Jean in Newcastle]

Most of the time a good fitting, good quality bra doesn't hurt and actually helps my posture etc. by providing good support.  But there are times when I'm in a flare when all of a sudden I can't stand to have anything touching my skin and I can't wait to rip my bra (and the rest of my day clothes) off.  (I'm not going nude then.  😉  I have very soft comfy jammmies.)

[MercyA]

I have small b00ks but feel uncomfortable and not put together without a bra on. Much more comfortable for me to wear one and not feel all loosey-goosey. 🙂 

I really like my cheap PerfectComfort Hanes bras from Amazon. The flexible sizing (S, M, L, etc.) works much better for me than traditional sizing. They bug me a little until they've been washed and worn for a couple weeks and get softer. 

[Matryoshka]

1 minute ago, Pawz4me said:

I mostly don't mind bras, but it's been a couple of decades since I've worn anything except a sports bra or a soft sleep bra. But when I stop to think about it--yes, my daytime sports bras are at least somewhat uncomfortable. But I wouldn't be comfortable without one, either. So it's the lesser of two evils. The sleep bras I wear are super comfy, and I definitely feel better with one of them than w/o.

I don't get sports bras.  I have a hard time finding anything that fits - I have broad shoulders, a small back, and big b00ks.  I can't even get a regular sports bra over my head unless it's large, then it's way too big in the back, so things just fall down.  I have some that clip in the back, but they have the T-back (the only reason I bought the darn things; all of the sleeveless shirts are designed for t-backs, and it's impossible to find a t-back that's vaguely supportive that isn't a sports bra...) - and even those are some kind of a wrestling match.  And then I still don't feel like they give that great support. Also, I generally find band-type bras less comfortable and less supportive.  Unless I'm wearing one of those t-back sleeveless shirts, I wear my trusty underwire minimizer, which seems to me gives better support than any sports bra I've tried - and I can get it on and off without wrestling!

[SKL]

I hate them.  They are uncomfortable for me in every way.  I almost never wear them.

I wanted to add my version of how they are uncomfortable.  I feel my breathing restricted.  The only size bra that doesn't do that to me would have to be so loose that I might as well go bra-less (so I do).

I also cannot stand to wear anything tight anywhere on my body.

My size/shape might be an issue.  For one thing, I am pretty asymmetrical.  But I don't think a custom fit bra would feel good on me either.

ETA I also dislike the extra layer of insulation during the warm times of year.  I hate sweating!  And the bra stays damp long after the sweating stops.  Yuck.

Edited July 5, 2020 by SKL

[EKS]

I prefer to wear a bra, but I only wear sports bras.  I haven't worn a real bra in decades.

[Joker]

I hate bras and so I hardly ever wear them. I’ve tried so many different brands and styles but I hate them all. I’m a 36B and usually either go without or wear a cami with a built in shelf bra. I stopped caring if it bothers other people if I don’t wear a bra long ago. It so much more comfortable for me to go without.

[regentrude]

I find them uncomfortable, hate the feeling of constriction. I have no need for support and consider them a nuisance I am expected to put up with to satisfy societal need to hide the fact that females have nipples. Screw it. Yes, women have nipples. Get over it.

I have happily not worn a bra since the beginning of the year. 

Edited July 5, 2020 by regentrude

[Paige]

I'm very small and bras are not uncomfortable unless they fit really weird. When nursing, I can be humongous and then I find they can be very uncomfortable unless they fit very right. I think comfort varies directly in proportion to size for me. 

Edited July 5, 2020 by Paige

[Selkie]

Bras don't bother me and I wear one most of my waking hours, usually a sports bra. I am equally comfortable with or without one.

[Matryoshka]

Just now, regentrude said:

I find them uncomfortable. I have no need for support and consider them a nuisance I am expected to put up with to satisfy societal need to hide the fact that females have nipples. Screw it. Yes, women have nipples. Get over it.

I have happily not worn a bra since the beginning of the year. 

The bra I most commonly wear is unlined, so nipples are still a thing.  I don't care - I just need the support.  When did we start caring about this?

I would not wear a bra if all I was doing was hiding nipples.  That is silly.

[maize]

I am more comfortable with than without.

My nipples are sensitive to cloth sliding across them, as happens if I wear a shirt without a bra. It is irritating.

I also prefer the support when I am physically active.

 

[barnwife]

I am...not small...and I hate them. Per society's standards, I definitely need the support and lining (why do we think women's nipples need to be hidden? I mean, men have them too and go shirtless!). I absolutely will never wear underwire again, after all the issues it seems to cause for me when I have nursed. 

At home, if I am wearing one, it's almost certainly a sports bra or a sleep bra. And really, lately that's all I've been wearing out and about too. Apparently getting older and being pregnant and hormonal makes me not care. My mom would be horrified by this. Okay, she will be when we hopefully see her in the next few weeks, and I just don't care. 

Why does anyone care what anyone else is wearing under their clothes? 

It probably doesn't help that I live in a place with no good bra shopping options. Add an odd size and I just don't care to take the time/money to go through the endless buying/returning online cycle. 

So, OP, yes, I find them uncomfortable, and don't mind going without at all. 

[ktgrok]

I do have sensory issues, so that may be it. And I live where yes, sweat is an issue. So a damp piece of elastic/fabric rubbing under my boobs all day is NOT comfy. At all. If it is tight enough in the band to keep the straps from digging, it is uncomfortable in the band. If the band is looser, the straps take too much weight. Blech. 

comfiest is a sports bra, but those are not attractive in the least. 

[sassenach]

I've owned uncomfortable bras and those are truly the worst. But I'm actually a person for whom Body by Victoria's Secret is the perfect bra. Once I found those, I would say they're not uncomfortable at all. Though I still like taking them off at night.

Also, my books are small so that probably helps.

[Sneezyone]

46 minutes ago, Matryoshka said:

The back strap is actually supposed to be doing most of the support.  It shouldn't ride up in the back, and it shouldn't be putting all the weight on your shoulders.  I've heard a lot of women buy too big a back and too small a cup. (there's a weird relationship; a cup gets larger as the back goes up, so a 36D and a 34DD are close in size).

That’s not the cause. My bands are tight too and equally uncomfortable. This is the result of 35 years of big breasts and bras. They are HEAVY. I range from 34GG/H to 40I depending on my weight.

Edited July 5, 2020 by Sneezyone

[happi duck]

I don't wear one at home.  

When out and wearing one, bras are comfortable until they aren't.  I assume it is a sensory thing.  I can be fine and then suddenly I can not tolerate anything around my rib cage.

Edited July 5, 2020 by happi duck

[marbel]

Sorry but I had to pick other. 

The bras I have bought in the last 10+ years are fairly uncomfortable for me, no doubt about it. I have had comfortable bras in the past, but they are out of my price range now (and my size and shape have changed since having kids). 

However, not wearing a bra is far more uncomfortable. physically, for me.  I just need the support. 

 

Edited July 5, 2020 by marbel

[rebcoola]

Uncomfortable.  They always hurt my shoulder no matter how tight the band is.  I have huge b00ks 40/K-M.  I have been fitted by specialists.  I have bought dozens of types and none of them are cheap.  I am completely comfortable bra free.  I am working get them reduced but it's a long process with our insurance.

[catz]

I have big boobs but mostly have sport or cami style bras.   Those are fine.  When I wear "dress up" bras I am SO ready to take it off at night.  I regularly go braless at home and that doesn't bother me at all.  I probably do have some sensory  quirks compared to some.  I have tried to get fitted for a more structured  bra many times and I'm never super happy with  it.  

[KungFuPanda]

34 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

I consider ‘cheap’ for a bra under about $60 per bra, which all the Effuniak/Ewa Michalaks generally come under.  My Empreinte, on the other hand, was like $130.  That was awfully steep and it didn’t give me as great of a bOOk shape, either.  My polish bras make me look ten pounds lighter 🥰

For me cheap is $20 or less at Target.  I think my $40 bra from Soma is expensive. 

 

20 minutes ago, sassenach said:

I've owned uncomfortable bras and those are truly the worst. But I'm actually a person for whom Body by Victoria's Secret is the perfect bra. Once I found those, I would say they're not uncomfortable at all. Though I still like taking them off at night.

Also, my books are small so that probably helps.

I bought one of those ages ago. It was soft cup and perfect. Then, they changed the design, added wires, and I never checked again. 

[KungFuPanda]

Just now, Arctic Mama said:

That would be nice to get away with, but once you get above about an G/H in U.K./US sizes it just gets pricy, especially if you have a smaller band with it.  That’s the tax on having a huge rack 😑

With great boobs comes great responsibility!

[Loowit]

I don't find them uncomfortable at all.  If I didn't wear one my back would hurt and I would flop all over the place and that would be super uncomfortable.  I need the support.  I have worn uncomfortable ones in the past, like underwires that were probably not the right fit and would poke, but mostly I try to find ones that are a good fit.  Right now I mostly wear sports bras, not the over the head kind, but ones that have hooks in the back.

My mom hated bras.  She used to call them a harness and was very happy to go without when she could.

I never knew that people see bras as something to cover nipples, I always saw them as a support thing.  I don't worry about if my nipples are showing or not, but I really really need the support.

[Carrie12345]

bOOk sweat.
Otherwise, my chief complaint is that I haven’t found a style that can stand up to all of the bending over I do. Or even leaning over. It’s constant, and sometimes embarrassing, adjustment. Going up a size in full coverage is too bulky.

[BusyMom5]

I am in desperate need of new comfy bras,  but I happily use the ones I have bc going without is much worse.  I bf 6 babies- including a set of twins.  Without a bra, I am comfortable sitting around the house, but if I get moving around, cleaning, running up and down stairs- I just want a bra to stop from flapping all around.  I've been running lately and definitely need more support there, too.  

 

[Wheres Toto]

I am definitely more comfortable without a bra than with.  I won't wear one except if I feel I have to.  I wear them when I teach, when I used to go to church, and that's about it.   I won't bother when going shopping, definitely not hanging out at home.  It's hit or miss when working out with dd (we're not doing anything super strenuous, mostly walking, strength training and yoga).   I'm barely a B cup though and I'm only that large because I'm overweight, so very little sag, very little bounce.

I do have a few bras that aren't as awful.  I think they are called tshirt bras.  Soft cups, no wire, wide-ish straps.  

I don't find a mask any worse or any better than a bra.  It's just another one of those things you need to wear in certain circumstances, but that I wouldn't chose to wear if I didn't have to (I'm not talking "have to" in the legal sense, I think masks are important for controlling this stupid pandemic). 

[TravelingChris]

1 hour ago, Arctic Mama said:

I always think the whining about bras being uncomfortable is a fit issue for many women, outside of those with genuine sensory issues. 

I have rather generous bOOks, anywhere from 34-40J, depending on where I’m at with my weight. Many bras I don’t favor because of the material or cut, but a properly tight band and correct width of underwire makes them very reasonable to wear for a full work day.  After 16ish hours I find it can start to dig and chafe, especially with sweat, but I also have a very heavy set to support.

Not wearing a bra is way less comfortable, especially in public.  It hurts my neck and back way more then my good polish bras do. And a bra is WAY more comfortable than a mask, bar none, I do NOT get that argument these days at all 😑

I was able to wear bras until about a year and a half ago.   I am 57 and it isn't a fit issue with me.  It is that I have so many types of arthritis and neuropathies that it just became almost impossible for me to wear one unless I am on high steroids, and even those don\t help as much as they used to.

[TravelingChris]

I don't wear a bra basically anywhere at all.  Just another one of the changes I have had to deal with in my personal appearance due to my diseases that I have had to make in the last few years.  The newest one is wearing an adult bib when I eat.   What I often do is wear a long shirt or wrap or something that both helps with sun exposure and also covers up my chest.  

[Laura Corin]

I find bras cosy and comfortable. They are warm in the winter and comfy year round. I never wear underwires and usually wear sports bras.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I have an underwire sports bra. 

[Hannah]

Since working from home when lockdown started 12 weeks ago I have only worn a bra when Ieaving the house.  its winter here, so I've got a tank top and tightish sweater under and a poncho over - no central heating. When I need to put on my camera, I only show my shoulders up and I still look neat.  I'm also wearing sweatpants and slippers.  Best workwear ever!

[Carol in Cal.]

I wore bras for years and years, and they started to really bother me.

If I get fitted, I end up with a band that is so tight that it constricts me from taking a very deep breath.  This is not conducive to exercise, especially since I have asthma and a tendency toward lung mucus (I think). If I wear a ‘normal’ underwire bra, it digs into my shoulders so hard that I can’t wait to get it off. I routinely set the straps as open as possible and stretch them each time I put this one, to try to delay this effect until close to the end of the day.  I love it when silicone bands were pioneered so that I could wear strapless bras and not have them slide down.  I am on the big side, so the biggest band size I could find is not quite big enough, so I use an extender.  

One of the things I am loving most about SIP is that I can dress reasonably professionally (enough or Zoom meetings) and still disguise not wearing a bra!  I put on a professional-looking top and a jacket, and voila.  So now I mostly only wear one for going running or for my very rare trips to the store.  I have quite a few strapless/convertible Soma bras that I wear with extenders to save my shoulders.  I would not say that they look completely natural, but they are the most comfortable of my options.  I also have a few Bali or Playtex front closure bras that I wear only very occasionally, wirefree, mostly if the Somas start to chafe enough so that I can’t wear them for a day or two.  And I have some Enell sports bras to wear out running.  Those are pretty constricting but they keep me from flopping.  I love to exercise (did I just really say that?). (But now I do, I actually crave it!).  And I wear either of my other two kinds of bras out running or hiking as well, at times.  But other than when I’m being actually BOOM active, my best hours are those that are bra-free.

Edited July 5, 2020 by Carol in Cal.

[Selkie]

I never buy bras with underwires. Wearing one of those would make me hate bras, I think!

[Jaybee]

I'm uncomfortable without one--during the day--because I need the support. I'm quite large, and have had and nursed a lot of babies. My girls are very heavy, and I, too, have permanent grooves in my shoulders. So I'm too large and floppy to go without, but I'm so glad to take my bra off in the evenings. When my bras start to get old, then the straps start to cut my shoulders. My short-term relationship with underwires was unpleasant. I wear a Bali brand that I am reasonably pleased with. I can usually get it for a great price on Amazon. I do sometimes think it would be wonderful to be small up top and not carry that heaviness around.

[mumto2]

I started with a Yeah! No Bra! attitude but quickly discovered no bra for days on end made my muscles sore.  I am a larger size and it just didn’t work.  So I am intentially putting my wireless bras on each day for a few hours.

[Myra]

Would love to have actual name brands or links to comfortable bras - any one want to share?

[Shellydon]

So much pain! I have indents in my shoulders at the end of the day. The band is so tight that it digs into my rib cage in the front. I got professionally fitted and have two super expensive ($80 each) bras that fit me well. I hate them and hurt all day long. I own a couple of cheaper bras that cause extreme pain in the muscles in my shoulder and in my back because I do not fit me correctly. No matter what I wear bras hurt. I wear a 34 j. 

[Shellydon]

Just now, Arctic Mama said:

This might sound silly, but we are the same size.  Have you tried moving the straps out in your shoulders a bit? I find when they hurt the most it’s in the flesh muscular part of my shoulder, but sliding the straps onto the ball/cap of my shoulder and arm is much less painful than when it’s too close to my neck.  Heavy sucks regardless, but that is a hack I wish I’d known sooner.

Yes! You're absolutely right that is where the straps dig in. I spend most of the day pushing the straps outward. If I'm wearing a tank top my kids are constantly pointing out that my bra strap is showing. 

[Matryoshka]

39 minutes ago, Myra said:

Would love to have actual name brands or links to comfortable bras - any one want to share?

I think it's really individual - so many people hate underwire and it's by far the most comfortable for me.  The ones everyone else finds comfy have sweaty bands that always roll up and/or don't give me enough support.  The vast majority of the ones I try on at the store fit me weird and mostly have a bunch of bOOk sticking out in my armpit area - even most of the ones that claim to be designed to avoid that problem. Everyone loves sports bras and they don't fit me well at all.  I must be weird.  I have a feeling the ones that fit me must then not be designed for 'normal' women, lol.

Although I might need more info about these Polish bras... 😁

[Matryoshka]

5 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

This might sound silly, but we are the same size.  Have you tried moving the straps out in your shoulders a bit? I find when they hurt the most it’s in the flesh muscular part of my shoulder, but sliding the straps onto the ball/cap of my shoulder and arm is much less painful than when it’s too close to my neck.  Heavy sucks regardless, but that is a hack I wish I’d known sooner.

Huh.  I wonder if that's why I don't have any shoulder pain (I'm currently a 36DD/E but I was a 38DDD/F for quite a while, and even bigger back when nursing).  The bras that actually fit me and don't shove things out my armpits seem to be ones with much wider spaced straps.  My shoulder straps are, indeed, out by the ball/cap of my shoulder,  just next to that bone and not near my neck.  I wasn't buying them for that reason; it's just that the cups that fit me right have the straps farther apart.  And you're right, if I press on my shoulder closer to the neck, it's much more tender there...  if I press hard with my fingers where the straps are, it doesn't hurt at all, but if I press closer to my neck - ouch!!  I would not want to have a strap in that area...  Now that you mention it most of the bras that don't fit me right have more closely spaced straps.