Thanks for the update Laura. It sounds like your boss wants to do his best to keep you and make sure you are happy working there. Holding thumbs for semesters only. That would leave a lot of travel time.

Thank you for all of the advise I received above - I wanted to give some feedback. Dd has gone for two sessions with the Psychologist and she really likes her. I eventually decided not to talk to the therapist myself, but I did walk Dd through what she should tell her when asked why she was there - that she is autistic, needs help with relationships, and how to handle the feelings about the ones that went wrong. It sounds like she did that. I can hear in the things that she has said in the last two weeks that the therapist is really making an impact. The boy who was brave enough to tell her that she was too intense and he 'needed distance' for a while, did reach out again and she is open to giving their friendship another chance - which is huge for her. She would not have forgiven the slight before. She's been invited out three times now with the new group she met a while ago. They have another group outing planned to watch a cricket game this weekend. She met one of the girls, who lives close to her new apartment, through a friend. The new group sound like a nice wholesome, and somewhat nerdy bunch. I'm pleased that she's being included. She is diving into these friendships again, but except for the friend-through-a friend girl, there is no one on one texting and calling from the get-go. They have a WhatsApp group where they organize their social events and share memes and jokes and have included her. Holding thumbs that these friendships do blossom, but slowly, and that they accept Dd for all her wonderful qualities and are tolerant of her quirks. I'll be holding my breath.

You'll be on my mind and sending you love. Stay strong.

Mine as well. I add bagged fresh vegetables in the microwave. The total cost is less than three McDonald’s Mcchicken and fries and I can just stop at the supermarket on the way home. If you let the chicken cool down completely it is safe to shred and freeze.

Does she live close enough that you could invite her over and say 'we're making such and such' tonight - bring your ingredients to add to ours and I'll show you how easy this can be'.

All the very best with the negotiations!!

I'd go with D for this reason. My previously super fit and healthy Dh has just gone through a major health crisis that will permanently affect his quality of life. Where we thought we would be working a few more years, we are now going to move our retirement forward to be able to enjoy the things that take more time to do. It is a big step though, as for many of us our identity and self-esteem is coupled to our jobs. If you know that you have the opportunity to pick up contract work that will pay for your travel, even better. The other question is whether job A is outcomes driven or being 'available' to customers or colleagues? What I mean by that is, if you have a job like programming, or data analysis, an experienced person could cover the same amount of output in half the time to a new recruit, thereby freeing a lot of time for themselves. Starting a new job always requires a lot of time to get up to speed.

I forgot about the weekly art class that I started recently. The lessons are very reasonable (about US$ 2.50 per hour), but I've really gone to town on some of the supplies!

We also have Wusthof knives and have added to the collection over the years. They are carefully stored and regularly sharpened. At the other end of the scale I like to buy small Solingen (a German manufactured) vegetable knives. For a long time they were not available here and I had to stock up any time we went to Europe or someone visited. About a dollar each, but with the added cost of flights LOL.

In his negotiations he should include that other companies are reaching out and he's testing the waters. He doesn't have to tell the current company that he'd really like to stay.

Dh has a lot of entertainment subscriptions - pay television for sport and news, streaming services, etc.

Cleaning services and gardener, although these services are quite common to have here. Annual subscription of Otter.ai for my financial coaching side-hussle/ post corporate retirement job. I could take the notes manually, but this saves a lot of time. Curly-girl cut every quarter. I need to drive about 90 minutes to the city for this and its way more expensive than a local (small town) cut, but so worth it. I also buy salon products when I'm there. Manicure and pedicure for special occasions. Eating out doesn't quite fit into the grocery thread. We do so about twice a year, preferring to entertain at home with barbeques or cooking for a small group of friends. I might meet a friend for a coffee more often. ETA: While Dh was in hospital, I drank a daily takeaway cappuccino and I'm happy those aren't easily accessible here as I'd be so tempted. I spent a fortune!

It's hard to know the size of the panel up front, but count on at least 3 people (and a spare).

Absolutely. It immediately shows that you are forward thinking and considerate.

I think that's reasonable.

Thank you Saraha. It is SO hard to see our kids struggle.

We have used Booking.com often, both in-country and overseas (I just checked, 33 times) and have never had a problem. The listing should give an indication if there is no parking on site and what the fees will be.

Thank you Rosie. Another gem to share with her. Call Mom!!

I think you're referring to Bronfenbrenner's ecological systems in psychology? I will search the literature to see if there may be a pre-developed framework to use. This will definitely work with people she has just met and defining what the trust level is for each level of relationship. The longer term friendships are harder. Defining personal rules around contact and understanding neurotypical expectations is really hard. It's OK to text five friends once per day (or less), but not one friend fives times per day. You can't expect an answer to every text immediately, even when you see that they've been read (although on WhatsApp there's the twist in our culture that it is generally seen as polite to answer once you've read a text). You can't expect to be invited to every social event that friends go to. Don't expect a boyfriend to be your emotional crutch - and what does that look like. Explain up front that you don't always understand other people's brains and that you'd rather be told straight when someone is not comfortable than to just exit by ghosting? Learn to handle anger around hurt feelings more appropriately. The list is unfortunately endless and she needs to learn every one of those things explicitly!! I hope the psychologist can help her to break it down and see the cues by herself. We have discussed social media usage at length and I've no reason to think that she's sharing inappropriately there. She definitely does not accept friend requests from strangers. Her sister is active on the different platforms and will tell me if she sees anything that may need a discussion. The people she texts and talks to are all ones that she has met in person through others.

I will need to research more on pair bonding. She definitely has the rules around mutual agreements on physical consent covered and feels strongly about that. I really like the analogy to rules on emotional consent. Another great idea on how to break it down for her.

I like this idea, thanks WendyLady. We can make a list of previous providers, test used, successful modalities of therapy, etc. That will probably give the psychologist much more info than Dd will realise. I am not going to attend the session with her, but I do want the issues and incidents to be raised. We could write something cryptic and say “Dd will tell you all about it in the session”, which will also guide her to ask the right questions.

I think she has a ways to go to learn detachment. She feels intensely. We spoke about it today and she will give the boy who explained himself a second chance. It was hard for her to hear, but he was honest and courageous in telling her how he felt. In her words, “he did not just throw me away”, which is how she felt from the people ghosting her or the girls ostracising her. She won’t forgive them easily. We agreed that she should wait for this boy to contact her, rather than her him, and she will stick to that. I do think he will reach out as promised. He’s a nice kid. It is end of term and this evening she was invited to go bowling and to a restaurant with a new group of acquaintances. I checked in via text a few minutes ago and the square curve is at the emotional high again. She’s having loads of fun. I’ll have the conversation in the morning about acquaintances not being friends yet and include your suggestions to talk about trust being given gradually. She needs more precise language than “you’re asking too much” and this thread has helped me to understand that. I need to break it down and explain it as best I can. I am leaning towards asking Dd’s permission to let me talk to the therapist for a few minutes to explain how she needs relationship help. That’s how we did it when she was younger, so it won’t be an entirely new idea to her. I’ll need to see what she’s open to and otherwise walk her through what she needs to explain. I doubt that she’ll be embarrassed. She overshares!!

The ring security is adorable! I love your Jenga guest book idea! I don't see it on your list, but assume she has a photographer organized from her company? Or more than one even?

I would wonder if the friendship means as much to her as it did to me. This sounds like she is scheduling just another business meeting. Or doing you a favour.

I have never written anything about Dd before other than saying that I have a child on the spectrum. The people she becomes too intense with too soon after a short space of time do retreat fairly quickly, but it is the the ones that have ghosted her after having known her for more than six months that really hurt. I don't think they fear her, but somehow she oversteps and becomes too much for them as well. We need to figure out how she can avoid that.