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Everything posted by maize

  1. I have an IEP meeting next week for my fourteen year old. His speech therapist wants to start working with him on pragmatic language skills, in the past they have just done articulation. I think, though it has never been explicitly diagnosed, that much of his difficulty stems from selective mutism. He has always had a tendency to shut down anytime he feels on the spot or anytime at all that someone asks him a personal question. Things that for most people are simple interactions like "how was your day?" or "what did you do in karate class today?" get zero response. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone here has experience with selective mutism or resources I should investigate or ideas I might include in his IEP?
  2. Good morning! I've been fighting a cold all week. Some time I'd like to have one entire month without being sick.
  3. Are you talking about The Well Trained Mind? It is written primarily for parents.
  4. I'm sorry Scarlett 😞 Are he and his wife living near you? Are you seeing or talking with each other daily? I'm wondering if some space might help, give him a chance to stop using you as a focus for his negative emotions.
  5. Maybe something like "Topics in Mathematics"? Or yes switch to Math 1, 2, and 3.
  6. Maybe we've just been lucky with older sibling personalities. Or maybe having the oldest few close together helps? Older kids did not resent the youngers in my own or my husband's FOO, nor do my olders resent the youngers--well, other than the inflexible stages where some can't fathom little people being less mature in their thinking and behavior than their own exceedingly mature selves 😄
  7. You still have littles around, I think sometimes that helps keep teenagers grounded. There are people with less maturity and more needs than them and they can see that there's no way for the family to revolve around Teenage Ego Numero Uno 😄
  8. You could just use high school math 1; schools around here don't designate topical math on transcripts since integrated math became the standard with Common Core. There is high school math 1, 2, and 3. Calculus gets designated as such, maybe precalc as well? I'd have to check.
  9. My mom raised four sons, she said that with each of them around age 14 (so, probably about when they started getting taller than her, and when testosterone is really ramping up) they stopped responding to her as an authority figure. She had to get my dad involved if she wanted them to actually pay attention.
  10. I remember the wedding thing, he was completely out of line passing judgment on you over your decision to attend. It sounds like he is not understanding appropriate interpersonal boundaries and appropriate ways to disagree. Anger is easy and feels so justified when you're the one embracing it.
  11. I am sorry you are hurting Scarlett. I am sorry your son is hurting as well; that is most often what anger derives from.
  12. And also... because young adults are young and immature and tend to be quite self referential in their thinking. Presumably whatever choice he has made is justified in his own mind and that justification seems so true and right to him that of course you ought to see things the same way and rejecting his choice equates to a rejection of him.
  13. Where do people fit within your understanding of God and religion? My personal understanding is that we serve God when we serve the people around us. There is a great deal of room in that understanding for honoring God through showing patience and understanding and compassion and forgiveness for people in all their foolishness and imperfections. There are times I have chosen a stance or action that an individual or group of individuals perceived as harsh or lacking compassion, when I felt that stance overall was the one more aligned with goodness and likely to cause the least harm in the long run. Sometimes people perceive good differently, and we do have to follow our own conscience. There aren't a lot of those lines in the sand though, and there is a lot of room for expressing God-honoring love of others in spite of sin or wrong on their part.
  14. If that is the important line for the parent they will just have to accept that, like anyone, they can choose their own actions but can't choose how others will react to those actions. The child's reaction may be entirely unreasonable, but that reaction is the reality.
  15. I tithe 10% to my church but that is an explicit teaching of my church. In your case, I think you might resolve your concern in a couple of ways. One might be to discuss your question with your pastor if that is a person you see as a spiritual authority or guide. Another would be to study what scripture has to say and pray over the decision, determining for yourself what feels right to you. Splitting your donation between your church and the mission organization might be an option.
  16. Is doing the thing you will not do a major sin--that is, in the unmarried couple living together example, is entering the house of an unmarried couple a major sin according to your beliefs? Not is living together unmarried major sin. This matters. Jesus did not himself commit sins, but he also did not hesitate to enter the homes of sinners or eat with sinners. He was not sullied by relationships with imperfect people, nor was he concerned that by interacting with them he was condoning their sins.
  17. It probably would for most child/parent pairs. A young adult would likely feel that the parent is being judgmental and not prioritising the relationship. While that may not be how the parent perceives the situation, it is the parent's role as the more mature person in the relationship to try first to understand the child's point of view and not necessarily expect to that point of view to change. It might come down to deciding how the moral implications of maintaining or not maintaining a strong relationship with the child measure up against the moral implications of setting aside other moral qualms. There isn't going to be a perfect black or white solution, only shades of gray either direction.
  18. We do not have a national provision for paid maternity leave. Unpaid leave is guaranteed under FMLA but according to the Department of Labor website slightly fewer than 60% of employees qualify for FMLA.
  19. Maybe your attorney will get it today? Local mail around here often arrives in just one day. Fingers and toes all crossed for you!
  20. I guess what I'm trying to get at is children and their caregivers need to be valued and supported regardless of the number of children. I'm not in any way opposing access to birth control but I don't see simply preventing the birth of children as a great overall approach to making sure children are cared for. We in this country are not as a group producing an overabundance of children and exclusive emphasis on limiting fertility tends towards reinforcing the very real undervaluing of children we already face. We need more emphasis on positive programs and supports.
  21. People don't know what we don't tell them. I'm not a person who cares much for celebration so it doesn't generally occur to me to do celebratory things. We do cake for birthdays but no presents and I've never given my husband anything for Valentine's day. Does he know you care and hope for more acknowledgment of special days?
  22. I don't see a need to promote large families, but to provide social and as needed economic support for parents. Our current fertility rate in the US is about 1.8 births per woman. Replacement fertility is 2.1 births per woman. Dropping too far below replacement fertility is expected to lead to significant economic and social stress as a country's population ages, and immigration as a solution comes with its own set of social pressures and challenges. Regardless of fertility rates however most parents--especially mothers--I know a lifting a too heavy burden with insufficient support when it comes to raising children. My argument has always been not that we need to encourage women to have more children but that we need to recognize the value of children and of those who care for children, we need to rebalance priorities on a grand scale to give full recognition and support to caregiving work. The book Unfinished Business by Anne-Marie Slaughter elaborates on the need for better balance between the caregiving and competitive bases of our economy. Unfortunately the book focuses primarily at the professional career level and does less to address supports for women in the blue collar world or the value and needs of at home parents. As an aside, both my husband and I loved growing up in large families. I'm the third of ten children and my siblings remain my best friends and greatest support network. Large families have their own place and can help balance out the zero and one child families; you don't approach replacement fertility rates if no one has more than two kids 😉
  23. That is quite the claim. Is this a war of the gods then--if your religion is the True one that will be manifest through divine providence of a meeting space and all other religions will wilt for lack of such providence? Students organizing a religious based club during lunch or after school within a school facility is no more state sponsorship of religion than students organizing a club for atheists in the same circumstances is state sponsorship of atheism. Principles of separation of church and state were never meant to prevent religious activity within publicly funded spaces; as long as rules for club organization and space use are fair and evenly applied there is no state preference for or against religion or imposition of religion at work. Your morality is your own, neither a legal mandate nor universally applicable to all Christians.
  24. Small amounts of stress can be healthy. Significant or chronic stress absolutely is not.
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