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Joker

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Joker last won the day on April 27 2016

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About Joker

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    Space Cowboy

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  1. Dh is a director for a large, well known company. He doesn't care at all about hours worked. He cares about the work getting done. So, for instance, he's very lenient with new parents. He tells them, once they return to work, that they can have whatever schedules they need. Most do a mix of office and from home and he doesn't care about hours as long as they get their work done. Many do this for 6 months to a year after having a new baby. No one higher up or in HR has a problem with it and it is an attitude many in the company adopt. Yesterday, dh didn't take a half day of time but he only worked from 1-5pm. He did have a few texts in the morning but that was it. He often puts in time here and there at night and on the weekends though. Basically, dh only takes time when he needs the whole day and that is usually due to illness or vacation.
  2. Thanks so much! It makes me feel better to know being diagnosed in the teen years isn't that uncommon and that there may be accommodations for college. Dd has become really worried about going since she has been struggling a bit these past two years. I do know the biggest area of concern is that her social anxiety has become really bad lately and even her teachers have commented about her being withdrawn. Dd has never cared that many of her peers find her weird or awkward but her anxiety in social situations across the board is becoming an issue. My biggest concern with her has always been her lack of emotion regarding things that are painful or upsetting. She laughs and jokes a lot but she never cries. Ever. I have only seen her cry once since she was about 18 months old. She was actually bit in the face by a dog at age 8 and required an ER visit but she acted like it was any other day. No doctor or therapist seemed to care that much about it until now though. So many of the things in Stella's post ring true though, especially the escape into fantasy parts. She daydreams a lot. It's actually something she has asked the therapist for help with because she seems to be having trouble controlling how often she slips away - especially in class. She even has binders of stories and pictures about her make believe world of animals. I honestly thought she was just a quirky kid.
  3. Dd, 16, is in therapy for what I thought was OCD and possibly ADHD. After some initial testing for ADHD the psychologist had me come in to discuss that she saw a lot of things pointing to autism (high functioning, but still autism). We spent a great deal of time discussing dd's childhood and we're now in the process of testing. I just assumed this was usually always caught much earlier and I'm feeling like such a mom failure right now. Is it not uncommon to go this long without anyone saying anything about autism? I have had family members say things about dd before regarding certain behaviors but I've never heard anyone mention autism to me before about dd. Also, what would it even mean really to get this diagnosis now? She's developed some good coping strategies in regards to most of school although she really started struggling more with some subjects the past two years. Any websites I should check out or books that would be good to read? Any information or advice would be helpful. ETA: Dd has had therapists before for the OCD but none were very good. A psychologist finally popped up nearby us on an OCD website so we jumped on it. None of the other therapists ever tested for anything but this one started the ADHD testing after a few sessions because she said she saw more ADHD than OCD. There is definitely ADHD but she said there were many red flags pointing to ASD that she wanted to check out before coming to a firm conclusion.
  4. Ds didn't start hormones for a year after he came out, so a good six months after stopping his depression meds.
  5. But you are aware that sometimes transitioning is the fix, right? Six months after my son told us he was trans and was allowed to start transitioning, he was off all meds for his anxiety and depression. It's been several years and he's still doing great now - off at college and succeeding. I don't think we can ignore that transitioning is indeed the fix for what is causing the depression and suicidal tendencies in, at least, some of these cases (I think quite a few but I know many posting here don't agree). ETA: I've been severely depressed and none of my "fixes" helped for more than a few weeks to a month or so until I addressed what was really bothering me. None of them would have lasted many years.
  6. Is the UK stuff in reference To GIDS? Isn't there information out there that discusses how the wait even to get in for the first appointment is up to 24 months? If so, I kind of understand parents being pushy by the time they finally get in. If not, sorry for the derail. I'm on phone so limited. Will look up more when home later.
  7. I'm not going to get into this whole debate again but I do want to jump in for a second for anyone new following along. Parents of those who are transgender (at least every single one I have met - and I myself am one) are neither homophobic nor ignorant of the risks. I'm terrified of the risks. We're just parents who have done all the research, talked with all the medical professionals (so so many), talked with our children, done years of therapy, weighed all the risks and come away with different conclusions than some here in this thread. We're all just doing the best we can. Now, you can all carry on with the nonsense.
  8. We also got the $500 credit for college ds so I would guess it's the additional child tax credit.
  9. This was the first year we qualified for the child tax credit (qualified this year since they raised income level) and we received our refund weeks ago. It took only about a week after we filed. ETA: Looking it up, I guess you're talking about the additional child tax credit and not the one I was talking about?
  10. I'm confused by them needing to come for a second visit and others saying it is SOP. I guess it varies by state? CPS was called on us once when the kids were little because someone thought I left them home alone. Dh and I only had one car because he worked less than 10 minutes away (but not pedestrian friendly). A CPS worker showed up with two police officers. They came in and woke up the kids and took pictures of them. One officer walked right up to dd's crib while she was sleeping and picked her up. It was awful and I was terrified. We have a lawyer in the family and he said if it happened again to not let them in without a warrant but at the time I just couldn't think straight. CPS never asked to come back for a second visit or to speak with dh at all since they could see for themselves I was home and our car was not so the complaint was unfounded. They sent a letter a few weeks later saying our case was closed. Good luck!
  11. My ds was diagnosed with the same thing at about age 9 and he still deals with it now at 19. Sometimes it still takes him by surprise. The other day he was walking between classes (he's off at college) and he broke out and it's super cold here right now but apparently he got overheated walking. He used to break out just showering but it's not that bad anymore. Most of the time Zyrtec is enough for him. He doesn't have to take it every day anymore unless it's summer but he does keep it with him during even the cooler months because sometimes he finds he needs it (exercising and such).
  12. We got lucky with ds and he received three different merit scholarships to our local university (IU). They cover 100% of his tuition and half his room & board. We paid the rest ourselves this first year but we're going to have him take out that amount in federal loans the next three years so we can save for dd who is a junior now. We're not counting on aid for her so we will see. We plan on paying the loans off for him after graduation if all goes well, but if not he won't be saddled with very much.
  13. Joker

    thx.

    I was 20 when I met dh and it was the day after I broke up with my boyfriend. We started dating right away and almost everyone that knew me thought it was awful. We celebrate 22 years married this year though. So, I obviously don't think rebound relationships are all that bad.
  14. As far as what women are most comfortable exercising in, I just have to look at what I choose when in the comfort of my own home every day. I choose the skimpy, tight workout clothes because they allow the most movement and are the most comfortable. It has zero to do with outside influence or how I look. When the weather is nicer and dh and I take long walks outside, I always opt for more modest and loose clothes but I am not as comfortable. I wish I felt okay to wear the same clothes outside but I don't. Also, I don't know about all of you but when I'm really exercising or playing an active sport I hate loose fitting clothes because things now aren't staying where they should. I need tight bottoms as well as tops. I get you can just cover up the tight clothes with loose, modest clothes but that's to appease those here who don't like the skimpy look. I don't like all the loose clothes getting in the way. Also, I love gymnastics but I don't spend time paying attention to what's hanging out I guess because I really don't notice it. I'm always in awe of the power these women have and what they're able to do. Sometimes I enjoy the dancing and sometimes I don't.
  15. All of dh's siblings are adopted. A few of our friends have adopted as well. There is no adoption that I know of on my side of the family.
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