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About J-rap

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    Hive Mind Queen Bee

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    Homeschooling for 15 years
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    Reading, Travelling, & Planning trips for others!

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  1. I think it's normal for children to seem to prefer or be more comfortable around one parent over another, and often that will be the mother, especially when they're younger. So, I don't think it's unusual at all for your biological kids to favor you in this way. I was like that with my own mother, although I can tell you that I certainly loved my dad just as much! And of course that preference changes over time as you feel closer to one over the other for different reasons. As far as your adopted child, who knows what led him to the point of preferring your dh, but for whatever reason, it probably has to do with his past and the way his brain has tried to sort it out and his own personality. I agree that you should just keep doing what you're doing... Try not to take it personally, and keep on loving just as you're already doing. You and your dh can work at finding ways to connect uniquely with each child. Also, video chats when in the hospital is a great idea!
  2. Are you supporting someone in the wedding? Then even if it's a wedding you don't support, even if you think they're entering an abusive relationship, I'd be at the wedding, because I'd want the person I support to know that I love them and am there for them. (And then hopefully they'll trust me as someone they could come to when things start to fall apart.) It is a tough decision though. Same holds true if it's a wedding formula you don't agree with -- for example, a marriage of people of the same-sex. The best example I've seen personally is that of my aunt, who is a very conservative Christian and 85 years old (so from a very different generation). It was very confusing and heartbreaking for her when her dear granddaughter married another woman. But my aunt kept her act together and invited my mother to go with her to attend the wedding. She decided that above all else, she had to show her granddaughter that she loved her and was there for her, no matter what, even if she didn't agree with her choices. OTOH, if there's no one in the wedding you support -- for example, if it's a wedding for your ex-brother-in-law who is an abusive jerk and had affairs while being married to your sister and then divorced your sister, and the woman he was having an affair with, then I wouldn't go.
  3. I write it out first. I've even brought notes with me at times, outline and all, because my thoughts tend to "freeze" when I'm in an emotional situation. I take advantage of the moment when I'm in a "now or never" mood instead of a stalling mood, and I contact the person immediately (don't take time to think about it and back out) to set up a time/place to talk. If it's someone within your own household, I still force myself to set a time ("hey, can we go out for coffee at 2:00?) I also take time to reconsider my motivation for wanting to do this. (Is it selfish? Loving? Objective?) Good luck!!
  4. It's kind of like when it's 11pm and I'm sooo tired and ready to go to bed, and then I suddenly realize I'm starving.
  5. I know we've gotten onto several different but related topics here, but I find the one about religion and how that plays into our decisions an interesting one. My own thought is that generally my faith isn't about choosing one thing over the other. It pretty much can be summarized in one statement (as far as how faith plays out in choices): What is the most loving thing I can do in this situation? I think any religious laws were put in place to help guide people toward that goal, but the laws themselves are just tools. Love needs to be the goal. (I believe that God is the very essence of love.) Sometimes, this might require you to do something that may appear to be going against the religious law; it might feel very uncomfortable and ugly and even painful, but in the end, it still might be the most loving thing you can do. (Religious) laws often help point us toward that loving goal, but sometimes they get in the way of it. Also, laws are quite general; there aren't laws governing every single situation with all of the subtle nuances and relationships involved. I think it's much easier to steer with love as the driving force behind our actions rather than getting tangled up in all the laws. I don't meant to disregard religious laws either; we need to carefully consider them while remembering what they are: tools. Also, I don't think using love as our guide requires us to do something ourselves that we feel is clearly wrong, but it certainly might require us to place ourselves in the very midst of those situations. Everything in you might want to run as far away from it as possible, but that action might not be the most loving thing you can do.
  6. I love a good chicken salad. Do you have a specific recipe you use? Unless it's soup or stew, I'm a recipe follower. 🙂 (I also love lentil salad. I have a lentil, bulgur, feta cheese lentil salad that I make sometimes.)
  7. I haven't dealt with that specifically, but I've dealt with a lot of random things with Amazon and their customer service has always been fantastic. I usually use their help form -- I think sometimes it connects you to online chat. They've always given me the benefit of the doubt (even if it's past a deadline) and have always made it right for me. I'd try that.
  8. That does look really good! And it would be easy to throw together sides to go with it.
  9. I'm not a great cook. I don't necessarily cook to impress, and our day-to-day eating is more like beans and rice and veggies. I'm looking for more "company meals" that are a little nicer than that, and that will always turn out well and taste delicious as long as I follow the recipe. 🙂 I have one: Chicken Marbella YIELD 10-12 servings (***I've never made a full recipe -- generally just half. But, the leftovers are great too, even cold. Also, I usually don't remember to marinade it the night before, but put it together in the morning to bake that evening. Another also: I don't use whole chickens, but use a mix of breasts and drumsticks or thighs.) INGREDIENTS 4 chickens, 2 1/2 pounds each, quartered 1 head of garlic, peeled and finely pureed 1/4 cup dried oregano coarse salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste 1/2 cup red wine vinegar 1/2 cup olive oil 1 cup pitted prunes 1/2 cup pitted Spanish green olives 1/2 cup capers with a bit of juice 6 bay leaves 1 cup brown sugar 1 cup white wine 1/4 cup Italian parsley or fresh coriander (cilantro), finely chopped PREPARATION Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl combine chicken quarters, garlic, oregano, pepper and coarse salt to taste, vinegar, olive oil, prunes, olives, capers and juice, and bay leaves. Cover and let marinate, refrigerated, overnight. Arrange chicken in a single layer in one or two large, shallow baking pans and spoon marinade over it evenly. Sprinkle chicken pieces with brown sugar and pour white wine around them. Bake for 50 minutes to 1 hour, basting frequently with pan juices. Chicken is done when thigh pieces, pricked with a fork at their thickest, yield clear yellow (rather than pink) juice. With a slotted spoon transfer chicken, prunes, olives and capers to a serving platter. Moisten with a few spoonfuls of pan juices and sprinkle generously with parsley or cilantro. Pass remaining pan juices in a sauceboat. To serve Chicken Marbella cold, cool to room temperature in cooking juices before transferring to a serving platter. If chicken has been covered and refrigerated, allow it to return to room temperature before serving. Spoon some of the reserved juices over chicken.
  10. This is a great topic... I'm keeping notes on these books! I'm intrigued by Linesman ~ I don't normally read sci-fi, but now suddenly I think I might like to! I can't think of one book I'd recommend to everyone. I do think there are about three books that I've recommended more than others though: David Copperfield, Poisonwood Bible, and Cry, The Beloved Country. (Although probably David Copperfield is the only one that's more pleasantly enjoyable. The others are more difficult topics.) Maybe a sheer enjoyment book would be the entire Betsy-Tacy series. They're a children's series, although I didn't discover them until I was in my mid-30's and absolutely loved them, even as an adult. (Sorry I listed four instead of just one!)
  11. I'm so very sorry. I do walk alone, but it sure depends on the area. I used to walk alone around our small town very late at night, and sometimes in the wooded areas nearby; it was so beautiful and peaceful, especially in the winter. But, it's always been very safe. Now I live in a big city, and I'm comfortable walking alone here late at night in my neighborhood. I often run into homeless people sleeping. But, it always feels safe. Sometimes I take care of my dd's dog who is very small, and other times I take care of another dd's dog who is quite big. I know that when I have the bigger dog, I feel I can go anywhere, even places I don't usually go to at night. So, I do understand! I agree about not wearing headphones, and I always walk with a firm, fast step when I'm alone at night, or in the daytime in a strange area. I think you just have to trust your instinct, and carry a cellphone on you.
  12. I remember being right there at the gate seeing someone off or being there when they arrived. I also remember when my dh and I could exchange air tickets! When we were first married, we lived in the Middle East, and during a particularly turbulent period there, we we ended up getting two separate flights home, one that required a transfer in another city in the Middle East (my ticket) and another that didn't (my dh's). This was in the 80's. My dh thought it was safer for me to take the non-Middle East stopover flight, so we simply exchanged tickets. He had the ticket with my name on it, and I had the ticket with his name on it. No one even questioned it! That seems almost unbelievable now.
  13. I think I agree with this. Unfortunately, things have more disastrous consequences than before because of advanced technology, warfare, etc.
  14. I was home teaching my oldest kids, when a friend called to tell me what was going on. I turned on our little kitchen TV, and just stood there in disbelief. It took a long time for it to sink in. I remember my favorite newscaster Peter Jennings giving the news report that day and breaking down crying.
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