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J-rap

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Everything posted by J-rap

  1. I'm sorry for your loss too. I'd suggest you look online for people who sell those things, whether on eBay, at stores, etc. They'd very likely be interested in buying everything for a flat fee. You can ask a few different people and maybe they'll even bid up when they hear what someone else would pay.
  2. If you have a valid reason, you can call your legislator's office and they will expedite things for you. People in my family have ended up doing that several times. They do always have a valid reason though, and I'm not sure yours would fall into that category. But you could always call and ask!
  3. I rarely see a doctor for an illness, unless the bug I have has suddenly turned from bad to far worse, or I'm not getting better after a period of time. So, even a bad flu is kind of predictable. I feel lousy and feverish and chilled for a few days, and then expect to get better. If I don't get better, or if it takes a weird turn that I'm unfamiliar with, I'd probably contact a doctor. A couple weeks ago, I had body aches that turned into a cough and sore throat the next day, and then feverish and chills and loss of appetite for the next three days. Then slowly better except not much appetite and still very tired, for several more days. I'm pretty sure it was one of the influenza viruses, but it followed a typical pattern so I didn't feel a need to see a doctor.
  4. (I've read many but not all of responses.) I know women who happen to have a high voice, and naturally sound more child-like as a result. These women were not fundies trained to speak a certain way. I also know a few fundie women but they don't have that voice. I was appalled by Katie Britt's rebuttal though. It doesn't sound like her normal speaking voice when I hear other recordings of her. It sounds overly dramatic, forcefully emotional, and overall fake/not authentic. Like a high schooler auditioning for a play. I think that has to do more with politics and culture than a fundie background. But I know nothing about her personal life. I do think it's interesting that sometimes groups of people seem to take on certain voice characteristics. Do you think this happens more with women than men? Whenever I hear women actors from the 30's and 40's, I hear a pattern. They all speak the same. I don't think it's meant to sound more feminine, but it does have a certain pattern to it that was probably learned in acting school.
  5. I generally use the yellow/green sided curvy sponges for everything. (Scotch-Brite I think.) But, I've also used walnut scrubber sponges which I love (I've used two different brands). I have a homemade yarn-crocheted cloth that I have on hand for random drip cleanups and such.
  6. I brush and floss twice/day. Sometimes though, I skip night if I'm too tired. (So then just once/day) Plaque seems to build up really fast for me on my lower front teeth. I've been told that a water pit might help with that... Otherwise, I have healthy teeth.
  7. I do keep meds past expiration, unless it's long expired for a condition that no longer exists or the prescription has drastically changed or would be dangerous to take now. Once we were stranded at home in a blizzard and needed antibiotics for a serious illness, and the hospital told us to take out any old antibiotics from our medicine cabinet (since roads were impossible for even emergency vehicles) and let them know what we had. I think they were all expired, but they were able to tell us which ones we could safely take (most of them) which would tide us over.
  8. Don't rule out St. Paul though. It's just across the river from Minneapolis and is generally more affordable and neighborhoody. At least I think so. 🙂
  9. I always loved Sara Lee's Coconut Cake.... YUM!!! It's okay to splurge now and then.
  10. Yay for you for your trip! I wouldn't think twice of those comments. Our family chose to live in an inexpensive home and live simply so that we could afford trips, and sometimes had/have the opportunity to inexpensively live overseas while keeping our home. We never talk much about our trips because of how people could (mis)interpret them. But if people don't understand that, whatever. I'm happy you can travel. Have fun!
  11. There are several people in my life, first and foremost my dh, with whom I could discuss anything. But, I choose to not go over every little thing ... I just don't think I need to do that. What would be the reason?
  12. I like it okay, but rarely choose to eat it. It just seems too heavy/rich to me. Maybe if I found a lighter version of it...
  13. J-rap

    Giving Up

    I just wanted to add that I don't think you need to call it "giving up." Changing course is not giving up. Your goal is probably the same as always: finding the best path forward for your children.
  14. That would be super hard for me too. I get so mad about situations like this. Are there other girls on the team, or kids that actually are nice kids playing fairly? If she stuck it out on the team this year as a bench warmer, would she likely advance in her skills to a point where next year she'd be playing more? Can she drop out mid-season if she decided it wasn't for her? I guess all of those things might help with our decision. My dd played ice hockey and was passionate about it. We didn't have a traveling team or even a school team (small town) so it was definitely not at the level you're talking about. It was a community team, but she played almost every day after school and it was usually her and the boys. It would have been hard for her to let it go. It sounds like you've been very honest about your concerns with your dd, and if she still wants to play, I suppose I would still let her, but the answers to the above questions would affect my comfort level with it. (I wouldn't necessarily be done with that whole unfair issue though... I'd continue looking for ways to make a difference. Maybe you'll see some other path of doing this down the road...)
  15. J-rap

    Socks?

    My dh has Thorlo socks and really likes them a lot. They're not cheap, but I've been able to find them on different websites on sale now and then.
  16. I'm jumping in late here, but my first thought was strep too. A couple of my kids would sometimes get a skin rash when they had strep. Strep can produce weird symptoms. I had strep a a couple times from caring for my kids, and one of my first symptoms was tingly lips! Really odd. Perhaps he has some answers by now! (On a side note, interesting about not being very connected to pain due to autism. I've always suspected my dad was on the spectrum for various reasons, and he also was very disconnected to pain or any uncomfortable body sensation. He had to be very careful in the winter or when in frigid water because he just wasn't aware of when he was suffering from exposure to the cold.)
  17. I'm sorry, it's so hard for everybody. I think suggesting it is fine, and it's probably the best first step! After that though, then individual therapy is good and probably needed. Individual therapy can maybe give them a chance to understand themselves and the relationship better in a less-pressured setting, and even help steer a path forward within the marriage. But whether the marriage continues or not, they'll hopefully begin the journey of learning more about themselves in individual therapy. Just to throw it out there though (and I know nothing about dil or back story): But a divorce doesn't always mean that one of them is bad or toxic. Sometimes, no mater how hard a couple tries to make it work, they just can't figure out how to live life together. As far as do you stand up for your child resolutely no matter what. I wouldn't be able to strongly stand up for something that I thought was wrong or a lie, but I would make sure my child knew he was loved no matter what, and would probably keep my mouth shut after that. (After it seemed too late to help, anyway.)
  18. Personally, I'd want to sit down and talk with him. It does sound like a big change from other years... perhaps it's nothing, or perhaps he needs someone to kind of pull it out of him so he can talk about his feelings. Maybe he doesn't even know what his feelings are exactly. I think you can feel not happy and lack motivation but not really even understand that depression is behind it, or what might be causing it. I do know people who really struggle with depression but hide it well ~ you would never know from the outside. (I only know they struggle with depression because they've told me.) If most of his free time is now spent at home, what is he doing besides working out if not doing homework, reading, etc.? I knew seniors that were eager to move on and who became a little lazy with homework, but it sounds like he's pulled out of almost everything that he used to enjoy. Hopefully it's nothing more than a change in focus and interests, but it's good to talk about these things out loud. You don't have to come off as bossy... It can be simply a gentle, honest conversation. No one's too old for that. (It shows you care!)
  19. When one of my dd's was in high school, a portfolio was an actual very big file that contained either projects or photos of projects. When another dd went to college, her portfolio was completely digital. So, photos of all of her projects uploaded to a digital portfolio. That second dd did major in design, but combined it with marketing and advertising. It required a couple of internships which provided great experience, and her first job was a very junior level job at a small local firm that couldn't afford to hire anyone expensive! But because it was small and she was the only designer, she had a broad range of experience and had to do everything. It gave her a great foundation for her present job at a large company and she's making a very solid income.
  20. I prefer St. Paul over Minneapolis, but that's me. Rochester might be a good fit if you're looking for something a little smaller and without some of the big city concerns. It's really growing fast but in many ways it has a small city feel to it. (And it does lean a little more conservative I'd say.) Do you mind harsh winters?
  21. If she's never been a neat-freak as far as house-cleaning, then it's probably just not on her list of priorities. I think of 70 as young too, but perhaps she is feeling tired and not able to keep up as well. Some people age earlier. When my mother was in her 80's, housework started to become tiresome for her (even though it was always important to her before). My dad started helping her then (he finally retired at around 80!), and that helped a lot. Together, they could keep up. If your father isn't helping and it's all on your mother, she's probably just put it further down on her list of what's important. Likely she only has energy for so much! As long as a not-so-clean home isn't affecting their health, I wouldn't be too concerned. However, do you think if you went ahead and bought her a gift certificate for a deep clean she'd be more apt to use it? I started to do that with my mother before special events (my parents still hosted big holidays until around 88), and she really appreciated it! I think she was uncomfortable about it at first, but began to appreciate it over time.
  22. My dh and I were 32 when we bought our first home, and I was 7 months pregnant with baby #4. We bought it for $16,000!
  23. I know my children well enough to know that if they thought my driving was unsafe, they would just outright tell me and also act on it, whatever I thought. My father drove until he was 96 but self-regulated very well... stopping freeway/highway driving first, then night driving, then only driving a 6-block radius. I think an advance directive is fine but it would only be enforced if children decided to follow-through with it, and that can be hard.
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