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Everything posted by J-rap

  1. That's a great plan, and honestly, it isn't too different than so many weddings going on during this pandemic year. In a couple years, no one will remember what the exact date was anyway (I mean, of people attending), so the couple can feel free to celebrate their anniversary, publicly, on the actual day. 🙂 Also, I'm remembering that some countries require a "government" ceremony in order for it to be official, and then a church wedding or any other kind can come after that. So when my dd married in another country which required that, they had their government ceremony about a month earlier than their church wedding. They were really officially married after government ceremony, but no one knew except the family.
  2. I'm so very sorry. When my oldest kids were babes, this would be unheard of. Now, I sometimes hear gunshots at night and then go back to sleep. Guns are terrible.
  3. For my mother, we took a lot of things from home so that her new "home" felt like home. She was an artist and had painted lots of pictures, so we hung them around her room. At the facility my mother is in, they provide labels for all clothing themselves. We just picked out clothes that were easy for them to put on her (she was unable to dress herself), like stretchy sweaters and sweatshirts, elastic waist pants, slippers. And within a week, they were all labeled with her name. I wonder if the facility your mother is in does that?
  4. I will say that I had one child who just didn't "get" math until she was in college. Then it all sunk it perfectly. That kind of went along with a lot of things in her life, so it just seemed like for whatever reason, it took her brain longer to get there. So in the meantime, we worked at good study/working habits.
  5. For awhile, we lived in a town with just one grocery store, and with five kids at home, I went about once/week. I'd say it took about 45 minutes. I usually had a good list so was pretty organized ahead of time. (With several days' of meals planned, etc.) Now it's just two of us (although we have company often), so I only do a "major" shopping once every 2 or 3 weeks. It probably takes 30-45 minutes or so, but it's usually not to make a specific meal ~ it's to get day-to-day food that we eat regularly. That's supplemented with quick trips to our nearby neighborhood grocery store when I realize I need a few ingredients for a specific meal that I don't have -- maybe once/week, sometimes twice/week. And now that we have a farmers' market a few blocks away, I usually walk there every other Saturday to get fresh produce. ETA: Just remembering that when all five kids were home, I used to budget $50/week for groceries. That didn't include any household products (like cleaners, shampoos, laundry detergent, etc), or milk and cheese and eggs (which we got from the milkman :)). In hind site, I have no idea how we got by on so little! But I did make everything from scratch and we had a lot of beans, homemade bread, and random soups/stews with anything we happened to have on hand, and not much meat. Now I feel like I spend that much on my quick grocery store runs for very minimal items!
  6. I'm sorry. Part of it might be the transition period, and just needing a little time to feel safe. I wonder if in the meantime, he could get permission to sit a distance away. Not in his own room, but maybe at a small table further away, just for a little while. Then over time, he'll hopefully, gradually feel more comfortable moving closer to the group. He's been through a lot. I'd also pack in the calories at breakfast and dinner. Does he bring a lunch or get lunch at school? Maybe you can pack him a lunch of high protein bars, or high protein bites where he could put them in his mouth easily.
  7. Those statistics were shocking to me too. I just did the calculations for our state, and it looks like 1/700 have died of it in our state. I don't have any close family members or friends who have died of it, but I have many close friends who've had close family members and friends die of it (probably around 20), plus I know of many more people in extended circles (who I might not have known at all) who have died of it. (For example, on my mother's floor at a LTC facility, 11 people died of it just on her wing of 24. One of them was an an old neighbor of ours from years ago.)
  8. I'm truly sorry. I think forgiving a family member who you've given your life to yet have been rejected or completely misunderstood by them in return is probably the hardest type of forgiveness; it just hurts so deeply. It's hard to not let emotions take over. I think that's when I dig into my faith and seek strength that I do not have on my own. Strength to not be bitter or broken, assurance to know that I am still beloved and valued, and trust that God will continue to work through me and my life. And direction so that I keep my gaze moving forward. I think there are also practical steps one can try. Just today I was reading about ACT (Acceptance Commitment Therapy). My church is teaching a class on it. From what I've read about it, it seems like it could be helpful in dealing with situations like these, where you're trying to come out of a traumatic or devastating event and can't figure out how to move beyond it. Thinking of you. ❤️
  9. I think I see it like this: If you're hoping for a good relationship again, then a type of repentance is absolutely necessary. But if you're just trying to forgive someone and move on so that you don't carry that biting anger around (that can eat away at a person from the inside out over months and years), then it's a different type of forgiveness. That's when you comes to grips with the fact there will never be reconciliation -- and most likely you don't even want that, but you don't end up carrying that sickening feeling in your heart. I believe it involves recognizing that they are victims too...Things happened in their own lives or their brain is broken or both. I think it's more than just "letting go." What they did to you was just as wrong, and you should feel free to say and think that confidently.
  10. It's been years since we lived there (after we were married), and years since we went with our kids. I know our kids enjoyed the Air and Space Museum and the Natural History Museum on the mall, and just strolling through that area. There's so much to see just walking. We brought a picnic lunch and it was fun to find a place to sit and people watch. Another day we took the Metro to Arlington Cemetery and went to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, and that was meaningful to our kids. We also enjoyed Mount Vernon, but I guess if you plan too many things outside of the city, days will feel too packed. One of our all-time favorite buildings is the Library of Congress. When my dh and I lived in DC, we could go into the actual reading room and read and study. Now I think that part is closed to the public, but you can still look in. It's so beautiful! I went to the Holocaust museum alone because I wasn't sure if our kids were ready for the intensity of it at the ages they were at. It was very worthwhile, and I was able to take all the time I wanted. I'm sure our kids would have loved the Spy Museum! Maybe it wasn't there yet when we went. Oh and of course a night tour of the monuments.
  11. That's interesting, but still confusing (not how CDC words it, but with what we're being told). The person I referred to doctors at Mayo Clinic, and according to his oncologist, he does not meet the requirements even though he is currently receiving immunotherapy for cancer. His doctor explained that it's because the immunotherapy doesn't actually cause him to be immunocompromised like chemo does. Maybe that has changed since he last saw him? (Two weeks ago.) Or maybe they're assuming that the cancer is no longer "active."
  12. Not in our state. Only those who are considerably immunocompromised are allowed it now. That's not even elderly people, people with cancer necessarily, or a lot of other things that you might think would qualify a person. From what I understand, it's for people who are actually undergoing some kind of treatment that results in a severely weakened immune system. So, if you have cancer and are being treated with chemotherapy, that would qualify you. And I believe some types of medications for autoimmune conditions have the effect of greatly diminishing your immune system, so those people would qualify. My parents are 93, and a loved one has cancer (and is being treated with immunotherapy, not chemotherapy), but none of them are actually severely immunocompromised. They do not yet qualify for the booster. ETA: I'm actually okay with this right now. If boosters aren't necessary yet for those who aren't immunocompromised, then there's no point in getting them early. I imagine they'll become available to a larger crowd later in the fall or early winter.
  13. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but glad you got an appointment! For me, forgiveness doesn't have to mean you are going to completely forget what they did, confront them, and feel warm and fuzzy around them. But, it does mean trying to understand that they're the way they are because of a lot of circumstances out of their control: their own complex brains, their growing up, their experiences, the systems they're part of. I try and imagine them as the person God created them to be, before the harshness of this world and of their mixed up brains got the better of them. It's a realization that I would most likely have acted the same way that they did if I were them. Doing that changes the anger to sadness, but at least it doesn't eat away at you the way anger does.
  14. My dh is able to make up for poor sleep at night with several catnaps throughout the day. I can function for one day on 3-hour's sleep, but that's it. Our bodies weren't meant to function without sleep, unfortunately. I'm sorry you're not sleeping well. 😕
  15. We declawed the two rescue kitties we had before we understood it was controversial. We live where we have harsh winters, so wanted to keep our cats indoors. It never seemed to be an issue. They had the surgery no problem, recovered fine, and seemed to do everything that cats do. They could jump, play, run, clean themselves, catch things, etc. They were fun cats. No furniture was ever destroyed, and no one was ever scratched. I do understand it being a surgery to consider carefully; at the same time, if the surgery allows a cat to be safe and loved and cared for, and doesn't suffer from it, I personally feel okay about it. Maybe others know more than I do though, and I'd be interested to hear.
  16. Interesting, thanks for explaining all of that. I'm glad you were able to get it so easily! I've been hearing mixed reviews about tourists getting the pass. My sister is hoping to visit my dd (who lives in France) next month, so this will be helpful info to pass on to her. (My dh and I will go next May, but who knows what will be going on then!) Interestingly, France has handled vaccines a little differently there (for those who live there). If you have medical record proof that you've had Covid, then you only get one shot (I believe Pfizer). If you don't have proof even if you know you had Covid, or if you didn't have Covid, then you get two shots no matter what. My dd and her dh both had Covid, but only her dh was tested (since they both had the same symptoms they figured only one needed to be tested.) So because he was the only one with medical proof, he needed only one shot to get his health pass, whereas my dd needed both Pfizer shots. Is it true that the health pass only lasts 3 days for tourists?
  17. I was wondering if they always checked! Did you get your pass at a pharmacy there?
  18. I used it for my last two, so also jumped into it after using other curriculums. Back then, there wasn't quite as much available. But I believe we had the student book and the additional workbook for extra practice. For the early grades, I didn't get the teacher's answer book because I figured I'd be able to figure it out myself, and that was correct. But at some point I decided that it was a lot faster to just be able to compare their answers with the teacher's answer book. Actually now that I think of it, I believe I also had a story problems workbook for extra practice at some point, and I would use that from time to time but not regularly. I never did all the problems from everything, but would choose a scattering of problems that seemed to cover everything, or to cover what they might specifically need. I loved Singapore math! I used the non-US version because I wanted my kids to have an understanding of the metric system.
  19. I know of several people who have gotten two tests before traveling, either two different Covid PCR tests or a Covid and an antigen test. I think for all of them, both tests arrived in time. Regular test (vs. rapid test) results here seem to be coming more quickly too, but I know it's a little nerve-wracking waiting! The last regular PCR test we took, about a month ago, we got results in about 24 hours. Last spring we took a rapid test but for that we had to pay out-of-pocket, and it's not cheap.
  20. I didn't see this until just now! Well, my dd made it to France just a couple hours ago. She had her Covid vaccination card and a copy of her medical chart showing it as well. She didn't take a Covid test ahead of time... Every site we checked said it was unnecessary. She flew from our state to Chicago, where she got on her int'l flight. That flight included a quick layover in Paris before flying to Geneva. Then she had to cross the border back into France (her final destination). She was planning to take an airport shuttle there, but it seemed too risky. (France requires a Health Certificate to use public transportation.) Her sister -- who she was visiting -- was able to arrange a ride-share for her, which is private. It's called Bla-Bla and is similar to Uber except multiple passengers go together and split the cost. Another couple hours and she made it to her sister's. Just over 20 hours total. 😄 I actually haven't heard any details yet so not sure if she ran into any problems along the way. I just know she made it!
  21. Ecco has really cute tie shoes that are sooo comfortable. They're work in warmer weather with just low socks, but you can wear regular socks with them when the weather is cooler. I also have their slip-on loafers which I love, but I think they look funny with socks. They're pricy, although sometimes I can get last year's styles for half price.
  22. I am because we're hearing so many first-hand accounts of it this year, on the 20th anniversary. Anything I turn on or read has touching, devastating, inspiring, emotional stories being shared. It has brought back a lot of feelings, and then I've wondered about how, as the years went on, I really didn't think about it much. Also, three fighter jets just flew over our city now, at the exact time the attacks began.
  23. Okay, I found a photo of our corner drugstore near where I live, that still has a soda fountain. This is where I got my Covid vaccines!
  24. I still call them drugstores too. Actually, I thought everyone did! 😁
  25. You all are making me feel badly because in our marriage, my dh is the one who has always done all of those things! From matching tupperware containers and lids to decorating our homes to cooking amazing dinners -- yep, he's one-of-a-kind and I lucked out. ETA: Oh, he also sewed our children's Halloween costumes and made their amazing birthday cakes!
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