Jenny in Florida Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Four weeks ago today, we put our daughter on a plane from Orlando to NYC. She had arranged a short-term rental, quit her jobs, taken the savings she had built up over the last 18 months and moved to the big city. Last Thursday, I rented a truck, and my son and husband and I loaded up all of my daughter's belongings so I could drive them to the apartment on which she has just signed a one-year lease. (She is sharing the place with two friends of friends.) My son and I delivered the stuff on Saturday and stayed to help her lug the furniture and boxes to her third-floor walk-up. Yesterday, we hung out together in Manhattan. We finally saw Cabaret (which I, in particular, have wanted to see since the last revival), did some shopping, had lunch, then hung out in the hotel room. My daughter ended up staying over with us, rather than going back to her place, because it was late and she wanted to see us off in the morning, anyway. This morning, we all got up very early and hopped on the subway together. Then, at the Atlantic Avenue-Barclay's Center stop, my son and I got on one train to head to the airport, while my daughter got on another to go home. And just as I was hugging her and getting ready to get on the train was when it hit me that she really, truly doesn't live here anymore. This isn't temporary. She isn't visiting or traveling. She has officially moved out. It will likely be months before I see her again. I'm just going to miss her so very, very much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I sympathize. I hope that you'll soon be hearing exciting details of her new life which will comfort you. Regards, Kareni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MooCow Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Hugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 (((hugs))) So many hugs for your mama heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Hugs to you. You are being an amazing mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: It's a time of such diverse emotions. We are happy and excited for our children and miss them desperately at the same time. It gets better. I guess it's what love really is about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I am about to have the same issue. I am just soooo not sure of what is to come, but I know he has to go on, and I do too. I'm sure you will be fine. The hug icon wont work for me right now, or I would give you a hug, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
readinmom Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckymama Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: Ds informed us this weekend that he'll be looking at jobs in the Pacific Northwest for after graduation next year. 3000 miles away. I hurt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I've got a medium and a little and I'm already dreading this. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Why is the reward for a job well done (ie a child being grown and independent and responsible) them leaving?!?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I remember that feeling very well when my son (oldest and first to go!) left after high school and was living in Europe for a year+. We visited him at Christmas and then it still felt like he was just away for a little while. At the end of our visit there, we were all on a train together and he had to get off a stop early to get to where he was going, and we were continuing on to the airport. We had about 30 seconds to say good-bye and I just bawled afterward when it all really dawned on me. But, you never know what will happen in the future. He lived in Europe for a year, then NYC for a couple years, then Toronto for a year, and now he and his wife are living under our roof while they determine their next step. Sure is fun to have them back for awhile! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I do appreciate that it came more in stages for me when my ds moved out. For a while he lived in a town nearby where I worked and I was still able to leave a bag of groceries on his doorstep now and then. It made me feel better somehow. Like an atonement for all the failures as a mother... :) It will get better. You will be proud of this girl for stepping out into the big world and living. You have achieved the goal of every (most) parents: You have produced a successful young adult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlessedMom Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 (((((((( Hugs )))))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momee Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Hugs to you. I still cry when my son hugs me for too long and gives me that extra tight, "I can't believe I'm big now" embrace. Not that I'm a pro or anything but my first child has been gone for 2 years now. My advice is to savor the moment now but be sure to move past it. Embrace the fact that you have a new adult in your life who needs you like no other friend you currently have. She still needs you, just in a new way :) How fun though!!! What an exciting gift she has in you to receive love, care, concern, and friendship. I so miss having a mom who could give me all that as an adult. I can attest this new dynamic will bless you both even though it is sad at first. Blessings to you as you experience this change. It does take your breath away~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathy in Richmond Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Sending lots of hugs and sympathy!! Jenny, I understand totally. Over the weekend we put our baby girl on the plane to CA. This time it's not just for college, but to start a career in San Diego. Our son is already working in CA. 3000 miles away.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: It's tough- we want our kids to grow up and fly, but it hurts to be so far away from them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: My mom still talks about how it felt to leave me in NYC after I moved there, and it was 19 years ago. AND they lived less than an hour away from me at the time! I agree with the others: you have done such an amazing job preparing this baby bird to leave the nest, and she will fly far and high because of you. That doesn't make it any easier on you, of course! But I'm told that it does get easier over time. I'm so sorry you're sad, mama :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in NY Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: Hugs and commiseration..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GailV Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southcarolinamom Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: My son got married a month ago. It finally hit me a day after the wedding, when I went to turn out the porch light and realized ... I don't have anyone to turn the porch light on for anymore at night! Which started a crying fit ..... I understand. It's bittersweet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I'm quite sure I would be a mess, too. ((Jenny)) You are a good mom to support your kids in their new lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berta Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I can sympathize with you. My oldest left and went to CHINA for almost a year. If you don't already have Skype, I'd highly recommend getting it. I was able to talk and SEE my son over the computer, which helped immensely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I totally get it. Our oldest dd lives in France. Our oldest son lives halfway across the country. Our #6 out of 7 is going to college next month. She won't be too far away...but believe me I understand!!! Your emotions are raw right now but things will calm down and you will adjust to a new normal. Life has seasons and you're moving into a new one now. Give yourself lots of time to adjust. Do whatever helps you...talk to friends, write in a journal, go walking or biking, come here and talk to us. Thank goodness for email and Skype! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applethyme Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hikin' Mama Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Hugs to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 It's so very difficult. I remember putting my dd on a plane to Hawaii with her new husband almost 4 years ago. It was awful. It's one thing for them to move down the street. It's a whole 'nuther ballgame when they move across the country. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamonlyone Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 I understand, too. We're so glad for our children's opportunities, but it feels so strange that they will not be coming home after a while, doesn't it? Our daughter moved to Chicago last summer when she was 18 to accept a position as a trainee in a ballet company. (We live in Kansas.) She is loving it and just blossoming, but it has been hard only having her home a couple times for a week or so over this last 12 months. I guess I kind of figured I'd have my kids home for summers and long Christmas breaks until they were in their early 20s. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunnyDays Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Jenny... :grouphug: Life as a mom is full of so many bittersweet moments. My son is only 11, but I know the next years will fly by so quickly. It's tough that our badge of success is *independent* adult children. Be gentle with yourself and cherish memories in the coming days, and create new joys and rituals for yourself as well. Many hugs to you, my dear... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted July 8, 2014 Author Share Posted July 8, 2014 Thanks, everyone, for the kind words, commiseration and hugs. This is a season of so much change for me, with my daughter moving out on her own and my son preparing to go to college this fall. I've been a mom longer than I've done anything else in my whole life, and it's the thing I care most about and work hardest to do well. So, the fact that it's ending (or, at least, the hands-on part of it is) is hitting me rather hard. It also just so happens that we've some other stressors lately [ http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/520232-rule-of-threes-otherwise-known-as-let-me-tell-you-about-my-week/ ]. All in all, it's requiring more energy than usual to keep my head above water, emotionally. It means a lot that there are folks here who care. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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