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texasmama last won the day on May 7 2016

texasmama had the most liked content!

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  1. One more thought to echo others - it is just fine to ditch formal schoolwork at this age for a time to work on strengthening the relationship, pushing the reset button, exploring options, getting professional feedback, etc. In fact, it is likely best, as digging the rut deeper is not helping anyone. It is reinforcing the negative experience for both of you and taking time and energy from your other kids. Sometimes the best thing you can do is stop and regroup.
  2. Data point - some ADHD meds increase anxiety. The research is out there. Limited for time so just tossing this out.
  3. We were very fortunate to have a therapist who understood the role of sensory processing and retained reflexes and was willing to put the time into treating specifically that. If the current OT does not treat these sensory issues, you may need a different one. Not sure what the OT worked on with your DD. My son’s OT understood these principles better than I did.
  4. That would be my guess, as well. My ASD kid had extensive, long term OT (9 years), and when he missed a few weeks, he became emotionally dysregulated. That, in turn, impacted his overall functioning negatively in every area.
  5. What is being done to address her anxiety and depression? Public school has the distinct possibility of increasing those for most kids with the diagnoses you describe. There are other school options between homeschooling full time and public school, and I would be exploring those in your shoes. It is okay to look at your family’s needs as a whole, not just your dd7. However, the mood disorders will need to be addressed no matter the school setting. Anxiety is the reason we began our homeschooling journey, and it allowed for a supportive environment which worked well for my ASD son from 2nd grade to present. (He is 18 now.)
  6. Yes, this raises red flags for ASD. Diagnosing ASD is beyond the scope of what most pediatricians will and should do so you should find an evaluator who specializes in this.
  7. Yes! 🙂 They can sleep anywhere, too - in the living room, the car, etc. It is a return to toddlerhood with daily naps.
  8. Another aside- my NT teen has tremendous difficulty waking up to an alarm. Has always been this way. He simply sleeps through everything. Also, both of my teen boys nap every day, sometimes for hours. They are 16 and 18. My teen girls did not do this.
  9. I also have an 18 yo ASD son with odd sleep hours similar to your son’s. In fact, both of my tern sons prefer that sleep schedule. We accommodate by scheduling classes later in the day. One semester last year, my ASD son had a dual credit class at 8 am two days a week, which was challenging but workable. It was unavoidable for that semester. This semester, his classes start at 11am. He needs good sleep in order to function well, more so than the average person his age, due to ASD. In your shoes, I would allow your son to manage this. I would not make college attendance contingent on it. Most of the time, he can schedule classes at times that work for him. From experience, insight is low in these guys, and teen boy pride creates resistance to hearing feedback. Some of these experiences just have to happen to them - they fail and they learn (hopefully). It is like any other young person except the kids who are not neurotypical (ASD/ADHD) are on a slower time schedule to reach these milestones. Some of it, I believe, is developmental, meaning you cannot force it. It will happen, just slower than most peers. We require our son to be ready for church and participate in family activities. His EF skills are poor, like a 10 year old. This is after years and years of work on these. I am a safety net for him. He and I both know it. I am working actively on preparing him to be more independent but it is slow going with complex factors. We have reclassified him due to sports so he will have an extra year in high school and will be almost 20 before going to college. He may not go away but might live at home. That extra year of growth and maturity will be needed. When we made the decision to do this, a weight lifted off of me. What I hear in your son is a resistance to accepting his diagnoses (plural) and a lack of insight about the impacts. Not uncommon. Being smart and fairly socially adept, he has managed well. My son is also resistant to his diagnosis. I have applied for and received accommodations for the SAT and at the community college for him based on his ASD diagnosis. He has not used the CC accommodations, but every semester he presents letters to each professor. Partly, my goal is to help him become accustomed to the fact that he has a diagnosis which qualifies him for accommodations and how to access those at the CC level as preparation for a four year university. I hear a pride in your son for not needing accommodations (from him, not directed at you), and that is fine. But he does have a diagnosis and overcoming and learning to function well does not even all playing fields nor make him neurotypical You mention that your son has appeared more impaired as time goes on, and we have experienced this with our son, as well. I believe it is as peers pull ahead and leave them further behind in the social complexities and EF skills areas. Some of these will remain because of differences in brain wiring. Some will correct with time and intentionality. My professional background includes quite a lot of work with ASD and anxiety in kids/teens. In spite of this, I was slow to realize throughout his life at times and in some situations that his actions were not rude/rebellious/etc but rather out of the deficient theory of mind or developmental lags beyond his control. I have three other kids, one older and two younger, none with ASD, so I have a good idea what is typical from living it on a daily basis - and yet I had and still have blind spots. Forest and the trees and all... We have given you a lot to think about here. 🙂
  10. Thanks, Lori! Those were helpful links. The sport is basketball, and it is not really possible to predict what level he might play at so I am preparing for all possibilities. I agree with you on that fifth high school year, and that is a discussion in progress. 🙂 I am not clear which high school level courses he took prior to 9th grade which will count toward his NCAA Core courses or that I can include on a transcript. That is my major hangup. Also, how to plan for his next two years given the NCAA's requirements. He has worked two years ahead of grade (alongside his brother) for most of their homeschooling career. This was never a problem until I tried to fit him and his coursework into the NCAA box. Example: He did Algebra 1 in 6th and 7th grade, Geometry in 8th, Algebra 2 in 9th, and Precal in 10th. But I have no idea if I can write a transcript that states Algebra 1 and Geometry were taken prior to 9th grade. Of course I can, but for NCAA purposes? English is sticky, too. And science. He took speech and drawing in middle school, as well. At the time I thought he might graduate with his brother. Then sports took center stage. Although the NCAA requirements are broad enough such that "4 English courses" could mean Comp 1 and 2 at CC and two other English courses. He did Biology and Chemistry in middle school (at a co-op). His 9th grade science was A&P at co-op. So the two years required by NCAA of "natural/physical science" could be physics and something? Biochemistry and microbiology is a one semester course but could be paired with another one semester course for a full credit of science. It helps me just to talk this through... I wonder if I should be looking at this through the lens of "take the NCAA Core Course requirements literally given my son's advanced academics and just fill in the blanks as I wish as long as the courses fit (3 years of math = Algebra 2, Precal and Calculus), even though it will look very atypical"? Maybe I'm trying to overthink this... I've gone through the process of NCAA account registration, submitting Core Course worksheets and an end of junior year transcript for my older son already. It's time-consuming but doable. His transcript looks very typical of a public/private school student. Planning this one's courses and making a transcript is shaping up very differently.
  11. Hi there, folks. Long time no see. Also, HELP. Current situation- son is 16 and would be 10th grade by age. Wants to reclassify and take an extra year due to sports. That will give him an extra year (fifth year of high school) that will not count toward academics for NCAA purposes. Smart and hard worker (motivated to make good grades for outside classes). Sport of his choice is his main focus. School is only a means to an end. He is completely outsourced with CC and online classes now, which works best for both of us. High school level classes he has already taken (or will complete by the end of this school year- some are CC classes - Biology*, Chemistry*, Anatomy & physiology, Intro to Biochemistry and Micobiology, Algebra 1*, Geometry*, Algebra 2, PreCalculus, Economics (CC), English - American lit/comp*, British lit/comp*, Comp 1(CC), History- World* and Medieval* History, US History 1 & 2 (CC); Spanish 1*, 2*, 3; Speech*, Drawing*. Classes marked by * were taken prior to his 9th grade year. I understand the maths and the foreign language can be listed on a high school transcript as taken prior to high school. What will his transcript look like? What are his options regarding courses for the next three years? Any other guidance? Please ask clarifying questions. For the purposes of his homeschool sport eligibility, he must balance out CC courses with other courses which are considered homeschool courses. He does not want to go to school. He is stuck on the plan to take five years for high school. He cannot just take CC courses only for the next three years. He does not have a career path beyond “play college sport”. Lol. He is resistant to calculus next year and wants to take Stats at the CC instead and then Calculus the year after that. (Probably at the CC???). He likes the sciences but his only passion is his sport. He is a good writer. There are probably simple solutions but this is a new path for me so I need help. My older son is NCAA eligible, but he followed a traditional course progression. His fifth year of high school will be easy to plan compared to this. Thanks in advance!
  12. I see that the OP has edited the post. I am just now getting time to respond. I will be brief and vague in keeping with the deleted content OP, I read your question about there being a place in the world and the story written. That question was what drew me to this thread because after parenting my own child for 18 years who will never be a lot of things, including fast, my answer is a resounding YES! A valuable place. We need the unique gifts each of us bring to the table. We are not supposed to be the same. I am straight up humanities-oriented. I am the opposite of STEM except for a fascination with the field of medicine. As a lover of classic literature and as a skilled writer, I thought the story was gorgeous, rich, and amazing. I have taught high school English (literature and writing) and I have an editing background. I mentally edit works I read without even realizing, and I found myself reading with very few edits. My heart soared a bit. Really. Just wanted to drop that in here. All the best to the hard-working mamas with special kids here. ❤️
  13. My son has accommodations at the CC for his dual credit courses but has not used them. He does not want to be viewed as different. Thus far, in three semesters and five courses, he has made A’s and one B (which occurred during a semester when he was recovering from a concussion). He shines next to most of the students there (many who are truly remedial). I choose professors carefully based on advisor recs after checking ratemyprofessor online. My son is a very skilled writer and has picked up my love of literature analysis. My son is not gifted. He is an average learner with LD’s and ASD. He is all work ethic with a solid academic preparation, many years of speech and OT services, daily physical activity geared toward his sport, and scaffolding to be successful at this level. A small university close to home with low academic entry requirements (he already exceeds the average SAT score by a fair margin) in a small town with the goal of getting him a mentor/advisor who understands his needs and his giftings and takes a personal interest in him is the current plan. If he can play his sport there, it will be more challenging, as it is a Division 2 program. If not, he can work at his own pace through college and I have no doubt he will be successful. There are other things I’ve put in place to lead to his success and will continue to before he enters the four year college world. He has had the very best I could provide in terms of academic preparation tailored to him and has been enriched in all ways by playing his sport year-round for years. My job is mostly done in terms of preparation, though I believe he may need my continued support for some time, TBD. He is 18, and this college and career path has just recently become more clear. It has been one step at a time in the dark for his entire life, trusting the process. None of this may be relevant to many others, but I don’t get much opportunity to talk to folks in similar positions so I have taken this one. 🙂
  14. I have a late teenage son on the autistic spectrum. He also has auditory processing disorder, a mild reading disability, and severe anxiety. I learned long ago that there’s absolutely nothing I can do to speed him up. He is a slow and steady worker with an amazing work ethic. There are careers in which this is a positive trait. He may or may not make it through college in four years. That is not our goal. He receives time and a half accommodations for the SAT because the first time he took it, it was clear from the scoring sheet we received post-test that he ran out of time in several sections so I applied for extended time accommodations. So my approach is acceptance, accommodation (easy as a homeschooler to design a courseload that is manageable for him), and slowly scaffolding his experiences and classes with a vision for his success. We also reclassified him due to a sport so he will have five years in high school. I take one year at a time and do not worry about the future. He is doing well academically in his dual credit classes and an online conceptual physics class this year As an example of his work speed, he takes an average of double the amount of time most students would need to complete work, sometimes more. That is who he is, and I am not trying to change it but rather work with his unique giftings and believe that there is a place in the world for him. With his stellar work ethic and the honesty and rule following that comes with ASD, an employer will be fortunate to have him someday. His academic interest and college degree plan is in the environmental sciences field.
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