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Corraleno last won the day on March 17

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About Corraleno

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  1. I think the issue isn't so much the word itself, it's the implication of the word. If you ask someone to babysit, you would either pay them or offer to return the favor, or if there's no obligation to reciprocate, you would consider it a gift. A man isn't doing his wife a personal favor, or giving her a gift, by watching his own children. Many (obviously not all) men just assume that all housework, childcare, and family management are the wife's "job" by default. To them, watching the kids or putting them to bed or loading the dishwasher or cleaning the bathroom equals "helping" the wife do her job — often with the expectation of being praised and thanked for "helping," even when the "help" adds up to far less than an equal share of the load. That can lead to a lot of stress and resentment.
  2. That's very clever! I also like her idea of expanding the database to allow parents to choose the first letter as well as the characteristics.
  3. Well, it's not really ironic since the underlying problem in both the OP's situation and in the article linked in the other thread is that the DH ignored what his wife actually said and did what he "thought best" instead. And in both cases it caused extra work and annoyance for the wife. "Not helping" and "pretending to help, but in unwanted and unhelpful ways" are basically just two variants of the same problem.
  4. What an awesome story. ❤️ My first car was 100% totaled, but all three of the cars I've had between then and my current car I gave to friends or neighbors who really needed some wheels. In each case the cars were 12-15 yrs old and needed some work (most of which a handy person could probably do themselves) but they were generally mechanically sound and they were worth far more to someone else than they were worth to me as a trade-in. I currently drive a 14 yr old Odyssey and if I ever replace it, I'll donate that too. ETA: I grew up dirt poor, and my family always drove super cheap old beater cars, and I know how traumatic it can be when you suddenly have no working vehicle and fear losing a job because of it. I watched my parents go through that. So it makes me very happy to be able to fix that problem for other people.
  5. Both of my kids are authorized users on my Amex card. As others have mentioned, debit cards don't build credit history. On most cards, being an authorized user starts a credit history, and the average age of a person's open accounts is part of their score, so being an authorized user on a parent's card as a teen (even if they rarely ever use the card) is better for their credit than just having a debit card for several years and then getting a CC in their own name once they graduate from college and have a job. I purposely added both of my kids to a card that has a very high limit, in case of an emergency where they might need to buy a last-minute plane ticket or pay an ER bill or something. For example, DS is away at college and a couple of weeks ago he said his old laptop was dying and he didn't think it could be repaired, so I told him he could use the Amex to buy a new one. If he only had a debit card with a low balance in his account, I would have to transfer money from my account to his, and wait for that to clear, before he could get a new laptop. So I think even if a student has their own CC with a low to moderate limit, it's not a bad idea to make them an authorized user on a card with a higher limit, both for building credit and to have in case of emergency.
  6. OP, keep in mind that there's absolutely no need to "validate" every class, you just need enough that adcoms can feel confident the student is at the level they claim to be. In many ways, they have exactly the same issue with PS students — unless they happen to be familiar with the level of rigor at that specific HS, they have no more knowledge of what an "A" means at that school than they know what it means for a homeschooler. That's exactly why some colleges require SAT2s in 2-3 different subjects. Also keep in mind that for every course you do that can be "validated" with a standardized test, you are giving up the freedom to follow the student's own interests and provide interesting and unusual courses that are far more likely to pique the interest of adcoms than yet another test score. Having a transcript full of the usual PS course titles, with lots of APs, DEs, and SAT2s is not going to make your student stand out as much as a transcript with unique courses and just enough tests or DEs that adcoms can be confident this kid is working at a high level. To give you an example, DS had 1 DE class each in history and science, multiple top scores on the NLE/NGE, and ACT scores to validate English and math, so he had some kind of validation in each of the 5 core areas. No adcom is going to look at a transcript with courses like Epic & Saga in World Literature and Ancient Greek Literature, with ACT 36s in English and Reading, and think this kid would have been more competitive if he'd taken English Comp 101 at the local CC. No one is going to look at a transcript with Greek, Latin, Old Norse, and Turkish on it, and think he'd have been better off with AP Spanish. Don't give up the biggest advantage homeschoolers have in the mistaken belief that having a lot of "outside validation" is the most important thing for college admissions.
  7. Yes, and some colleges explicitly state that they will not give credit for any CC courses taken at a high school, even if the CC gives college credit for them.
  8. I'd be wary of any college counselor that is insisting your son needs those tests to get into selective schools — especially with regard to CLEP. Many selective schools don't even accept CLEP, or only they accept a very few (like foreign language). CLEPs are generally easy to pass, but difficult to get a good score, because they are computer-based multiple choice tests that draw on a huge bank of questions, so you need to memorize an enormous amount of often trivial material (names, dates, numbers, statistics, etc); there is no higher order thinking or analysis. So those are not going to impress colleges. You're much better off taking SAT Subject tests for "validation" (and a few colleges still require them anyway). I think AP carries a little more weight than DE, because APs are standardized so colleges know exactly what a score of 3/4/5 means, whereas an A can vary greatly from one CC to the next. You can do APs at home, with or without College Board approval, and there are plenty of online AP options for homeschoolers. On the other hand, a couple of DE classes can demonstrate that the student can function in a college environment. I have no personal experience with WTMA classes, but I know Lukeion classes are most definitely honors level, and I listed them as such on DS's transcript. Regan Barr wrote a letter of recommendation for DS, in which he specifically mentioned that they are honors level, so I would not hesitate to list them that way on your son's transcript. In fact, I think you'd be short-changing him if you don't. If he is taking language classes with Lukeion, then you will have the National Latin and/or Greek Exams as validation of those classes. DS's only "outside validation" involved 2 DE classes, 2 National Latin Exam scores, and 5 National Greek Exam scores — no APs. (He did CLEP after graduating, purely to knock out GE requirements.)
  9. Have you ever done genetic testing for MTHFR mutations? I ask because MTHFR mutations are strongly correlated with depression and they also affect what forms of B vitamins you can tolerate. Generally, folic acid is not good for those with MTHFR mutations, they should take L-methylfolate instead. Certain forms of B12 can cause problems, too — methylcobalamin is often recommended, but some people with MTHFR mutations don't tolerate that very well either (I do much better with hydroxycobalamin & adenosylcobalamin). Try going off the B-vitamins and keep going with the D3 and see if that helps.
  10. I think the only student who had any actual contact with a coach was a girl who was told to email the tennis coach at Georgetown, and she was a willing participant in every aspect of the scam: she even "gloated" about faking her test scores (ACT, SAT, and subject tests) and she was directly involved in falsifying her application. But AFAIK from reading the affidavit, she is the only one who even had email contact with a coach — even the other students who knew they were using athletics to get in the "side door" and who posed for photos never spoke to the coaches. Contact with coaches (and the athletic director at USC) was entirely handled by the "college consultant" who was running the scam, Rick Singer. Some of the kids literally had NO idea that their parents were paying to get them in as athletes — the consultant decided what sport they would "assign" to the student based on what slots were available at which schools, not what the kid actually did. Singer had someone on staff who fabricated the athletic resumes, sometimes photoshopping faces onto other athletes bodies, and all correspondence with the universities went through Singer until the very end, when the students would get a regular admissions packet in March, having no idea they'd actually been admitted through athletics several months earlier. One kid whose parents paid $250K to get him into USC as a pole vaulter (something he'd never done) was totally perplexed when his academic advisor mentioned he would have to schedule his classes around track practice. Kid said there must be a mistake, he wasn't a track athlete and had no idea why he was listed that way. Advisor said she would look into it, and Singer had to scramble to get the kid taken off the list (claiming he'd been injured over the summer). Not only had the athletic resume been totally fabricated, the kid's mother was so determined to hide the scam from him that they actually used a photo of an entirely different kid in the resume. Imagine being a freshman at USC and suddenly discovering all this last week as your mother is being arrested. 😕
  11. I greatly prefer electronic gift cards, and so do my kids (ages 16 & 20). Basically they carry their phones and one CC, and they don't like carrying a lot of cards. They also really don't care about paper birthday or Christmas cards. Usually if they get one in the mail, I will read it to them and then it gets tossed. I don't generally send cards either — I will usually mail a sympathy card, but all other sentiments & events (birthday, Christmas, get well, congratulations, etc.) are handled with an email or phone call.
  12. I had to click 2 of the first 6 choices, because I have different expectations for different kids. I have one who has clearly been headed for a PhD since he was about 5, and another that I am hoping will get a 2 yr degree in something practical or at least get some other kind of job training rather than assume she can support herself by working at Claire's for the rest of her life. If I had another child who wanted to go into a trade, I would be perfectly fine with that, too — in fact I would encourage it. I think the push for everyone to get a college degree is leading to a dearth of really good, skilled tradespeople, who often make more money than someone with a generic BA anyway. (ETA: both parents have advanced degrees)
  13. RE: pickpocketing, I wouldn't carry a wallet loose in my back pocket or jacket pocket in any crowded city, whether the US or Europe. DS always carries his wallet and phone in his front pants pocket, no matter where he is. My ex is British and traveled a lot in Europe, and the only times he ever had his wallet stolen were in Los Angeles and Washington DC. I've been in tightly packed crowds even in high-tourist areas in Rome, Athens, London, Paris, Istanbul, and many other cities, and have never had any problem carrying a small crossbody bag.
  14. When DS was little he was a huge Frosty fan. One day he was explaining states of matter to his little sister, and I said "Actually there are 5 states of matter, can you name all 5?" He said "Solid, liquid, gas, plasma, and ........ soquid?" 😂 😂 😂
  15. I think fears of being pickpocketed in Europe are greatly overblown. I lived in Europe for 10 years and have travelled all over, and I wear the same crossbody bag whether I'm here or there. Just keep it zipped and keep it in front of you. As long as you're not carrying a big bag that's flopping open and hanging behind you while walking through crowds on a busy street, it's not an issue. I have an unlocked iPhone and have been able to use it everywhere in Europe, including UK, France, Iceland, Latvia, Luxembourg, Switzerland, Italy and Turkey. I just have to turn on "international roaming" with my provider, and it works as well as it does in the States. I once got a call from my bank while hiking up a waterfall in a remote part of Iceland, lol. If you have an REI store near you, they are great for wash-&-go travel clothes as well as light-weight versions of lots of travel accessories. I highly recommend packing cubes, they save space and make it much easier to keep your stuff organized when you are moving a lot from hotel to hotel.
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