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Corraleno

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Corraleno last won the day on November 14 2019

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About Corraleno

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  1. I'm surprised by the number of people who don't seem to use mattress pads. I've never put a sheet on a bare mattress without a mattress pad. A thin sheet really doesn't provide any protection, except maybe against dust. Even just sweat can soak through a sheet and into the mattress, let alone all the other bodily fluids that can end up in a bed. Stained mattresses totally gross me out.
  2. I used to have that problem with DS, which I solved by using a really thick quilted cotton mattress pad from Lands End that never comes off, topped with a king-size flat sheet that I use as a bottom sheet (bed is twin XL) with clips under the mattress to hold it in place. On the off chance the sheet does come off (or he leaves it in the dryer and goes to bed without it) at least the mattress is totally covered by a thick pad that never comes off because the sides are really deep and stretchy and the elastic goes really far under the bed. Most mattress pads are pretty skimpy and the elastic barely holds it on, so they come off just as easily as fitted sheets do. We have the Lands End Supima Cotton pads on all the beds in our house, plus DS's bed at college, and they don't come off unless you wrestle them off. You can also get mattress covers that cover the entire mattress on all sides and zip closed, but they're usually waterproof and bedbug-proof, so they can be hot. But you could always use a zippered bedbug cover plus a thick cotton pad like the Lands End one, and just wash the mattress cover every week like you would a bottom sheet.
  3. @May @marbel @Seasider too @J-rap @MercyA I'll take the photo down later, but here is the "graduation portrait" I took of Cowboy when he got his HS diploma. He was so so proud and happy that day and everyone was congratulating him and making a big fuss over him. Some of the staff even came in on their day off to see him dressed up and congratulate him. When I kissed him goodbye as he was leaving to go get ice cream, I said "I love you, buddy, I'll see you tomorrow." Everyone was in complete shock that he passed away that night. But he had the very best "last day" he could have hoped for, and I think once he checked off that last item on his bucket list, he was ready for a long sleep. He was the sweetest, happiest, most forgiving person I've ever known. He wasn't the least bit angry or bitter about the way his family had treated him, even though he was well aware of how much he had missed out on. He was just incredibly, touchingly grateful for anything I ever did for him. His first Christmas with us in the US, we called my MIL to wish her a Merry Christmas and put it on speaker-phone so he could talk to her. When she asked him what he'd been up to lately, he grinned and said "makin' up for lost time." 😭
  4. Same here — I always take D3 and Bs in the morning, because if I take them in the afternoon I will never get to sleep.
  5. The car loan & accepting help threads reminded me of another thing: I have never sold or traded an old car. I drive them until the cost of repairs doesn't make financial sense for me (10-15 years), and then I give them to someone who really needs a car and who can either do the repairs themselves or who can afford to pay for the repairs since the car is free.
  6. The "normal" ranges that show up on lab tests for Vit D3 are way too low — the lower end of "normal" only looks normal because so many people are seriously Vit D deficient. A level of 18 is very low and there is a well-established connection between low D and depression, among other things. I would definitely start supplementing at least 1000 iu/day, if not more. DS and I both tend towards very low Vit D levels (like barely above single digits) for genetic reasons, and we take 5000 iu/day. I can definitely feel the difference when I drop down into the 20s, I get more lethargic and moody and although I don't generally get depressed any more, I can start feeling sort of like "why bother doing X, what's the point of anything anyway..." So I would get your son a good D3 supplement ASAP — regardless of what the doc says. My son's level was 11 once, and the doc told me it wasn't a big deal, it was "only a little low" and he could take a some supplements if he wanted, blah blah blah. A lot of MDs are just really not well educated about this stuff.
  7. I looked after my ex's developmentally disabled uncle for 20 years, until he passed away. He spent a lot of his life shut away in group homes where no one ever visited him, but once I married into the family and we moved to the UK, I started visiting him all the time and insisted on bringing him to all family gatherings (much to MIL's displeasure, who didn't want him "ruining" her Christmas or other events). When we eventually decided to move back to the US, he was panicked at the thought of being left behind, but I promised him he would go with us, wherever we lived, for the rest of his life. Once we moved, I got him his own little apartment in an assisted living place 5 minutes from our house — he was in his 70s then and it was the first time in his entire life he had any kind of independence or a space to call his own, other than a sparsely furnished room in a group home or institution. I decorated it from top to bottom in a cowboy theme, because he decided if he was going to live in the western US, he was going to be a cowboy, and he even got all the staff and residents there to call him Cowboy. He had a tendency to lose things, so he got a label maker and stuck labels on everything with the name "Cowboy." 😂 After we started homeschooling he confessed that he had never had any schooling once his mom sent him away (at age 11), and he asked if I would help him get his HS diploma. So I bought him some workbooks and adapted readers and he loved telling people he was going to get his HS diploma. When I got divorced, I insisted on "custody" of Cowboy as well as the kids, so he moved with us to another state, where I found another assisted living place less than a mile from our house, and he got a new cowboy-themed apartment, complete with a cowboy Christmas tree he loved so much he kept it up year round. As his health started failing, he brought up the idea of getting his diploma again, so I ordered a beautiful diploma online and bought him a cap and gown and we got him all dressed up and I presented his diploma and took pictures and everyone congratulated him. Then he went out for ice cream with some of the other residents, had a wonderful dinner, and fell asleep while watching TV with his cat in his lap. He passed away in his sleep that night, after finally "graduating" from high school at the age of 88. 😭 I still miss him like crazy. I also try to help out friends and family, I always offer to help moms who are traveling alone with little kids (BTDT and it sucks), I'm always nice to cashiers and wait staff and flight attendants and anyone who has to deal with the public all day (because that's my idea of hell, lol). Once my kids are totally launched and settled, I'd like to start fostering for a dog rescue.
  8. I really don't get the opposition some people have to borrowing money from a parent, as long as the parent can afford it and is happy to do it. If you have a choice between a 0% loan or a 5% loan, then clearly the 0% loan is the smarter financial choice! I mean, if a parent is taking it out of their 401K, or depleting their emergency fund or something, that's selfish to ask, but if the parent can easily afford it and wants to help, it makes no financial sense to turn down a 0% loan and increase the cost of the item by paying interest to the bank. I once helped my sister out with a bridging loan when there was a delay in selling her house and she needed to close on the next house. She and her husband are very frugal and both houses were fixer-uppers where they did a lot of work themselves, so it wasn't like they were blowing money on a world cruise or something. It was only for a few months and it saved them a bunch of money, so I was more than happy to help her out. I really don't get the whole macho pride, no-real-man-should-ask-his-mother-for-a-loan thing.
  9. I'm not sure it's sociocultural as much as family-cultural, or even just an individual personality thing. Some guys just have more pride or ego or whatever tied up in the idea of being the sole support for their family, and on the flip side some families expect that offspring will be self-supporting from the age of 18 so asking for help as an adult would be seen as an admission of failure. I grew up dirt poor with a father who would never ask for help because that would wound his pride. We were hungry sometimes (and a lot of the food we did eat was not nutritious, like jelly sandwiches on white bread with a glass of kool-aid), we had holes in our shoes and hand-me-down clothes, and my mother (and later my step-mother) were often seriously stressed out because they were the ones lying awake all night worrying about how to feed the kids and pay the bills while my father refused to ask for help. Ironically, once his kids became adults, he was more than willing to "borrow" money from us, with the promise of paying it back right away, but it never got paid back and no one was supposed to mention that. The only reason my father and step-mother aren't currently homeless is because I own the house they live in and I pay the taxes and insurance on it. My stepmother thanks me constantly, but my father never mentions it and he would never ever admit to his friends that he's poor. He tells people he still works (in his 80s) because he enjoys it (which is a lie), he still goes out to eat and such and acts like he has a retirement fund just like everyone else. The truth is that they are very close to the brink and would be on the street without help from their kids, but he would never ever admit that. I have one brother who is also reluctant to ask for help even when he needs it, and one who had no problem asking family to contribute to non-necessities like travel and vacations. My ex and his brother ask their mother to pay for things all the time (not even as a loan), and are annoyed that she won't just give them most of her money now instead of waiting for an inheritance. OTOH, their dad (my late FIL) took pride in supporting the family even though he didn't need to work because of MIL's money. So I think it's mostly an individual personality thing. I would definitely help my kids out unless I thought they were making a really stupid financial decision, and I don't think either of them would have any problem asking for help.
  10. Paying for Business Select upgrades at the gate is always more expensive than just paying for Early Bird. And Early Bird assigns sequential boarding numbers to everyone on the same reservation, so there would never be an issue with a parent and child being in separate boarding groups. I just count the Early Bird fee as part of the cost of the ticket — and it's still often cheaper, or at least the same price, as other airlines. Plus, checked bags are free on SW, and they let you change or cancel any ticket (even the super cheap ones) at the very last minute, with no change fees and full credit towards a future flight for cancellations.
  11. The bolded is where I would put my foot down. He's the one who got you into the mess, you were always opposed to having two payments and he led you to believe he could get what he wanted without ending up with two payments, and now he's trying to change the terms you reluctantly agreed to. I would tell him that he needs to tell his mom that he can't afford to make payments on the truck until either the house or the Prius are paid off, whichever comes first. Then I would sell the Eclipse and put that money towards the Prius loan, cut expenses to the bone, and pay off the Prius as fast as you can. I understand why, in the short term, it makes more sense to sell the Prius, but IMO it makes more sense in the long term to sell the Eclipse, which has neither the economy of the Prius nor the utility of the truck. Because in 2 years when the house is paid off, you'll be back to wanting to buy another Pruis (or other hybrid), and you'll likely have a loan all over again.
  12. On every SW flight there will be a couple of people who save a couple of seats, it's really not a huge problem and SW has no issue with it. Suggestions that passengers get angry, complain to the flight attendants, hold up the line, etc., will not be effective and will just piss off the attendants and everyone in line behind them. The attendants will just tell you to choose another seat. Paying a little extra for Early Bird boarding does not guarantee an A-level boarding pass or a front seat or an aisle seat or anything. Anyone who feels the need to have a very specific seat can either pay for a Business Select ticket, or pay at the gate for an upgrade to Business Select (usually about $30-40 if it's available), or consider flying an airline that lets you choose your exact seat in advance. That's not how SW works, and I don't think they have any intention of changing things because the vast majority of passengers are perfectly fine with the way it works.
  13. That only works for passengers who don't pay for Early Bird. The point of Early Bird Check-In is that SW automatically checks you in and assigns a boarding number before the non-EB passengers can check in online. So you might get a B-level boarding pass if you check in the minute it opens but it won't get you ahead of the A-List Preferred, A-List, or Early Bird passengers.
  14. It's based on the number of miles you fly each year, plus if you have a SW-branded Chase Visa, some of those points count towards A-list status as well. The number of miles flown and your A-list status are listed in your Rapid Rewards account. It's possible to get a boarding pass in the low As if you book early, pay for Early Bird, and there aren't a lot of A-listers on the flight. But no matter how early you book, if there happen to be a lot of people with A-List or A-List Preferred status on that flight, they will be ahead of all the Early Bird boarders.
  15. Early Bird does not guarantee A-group boarding, it only guarantees that you will board before those who did not pay for EB. A1-15 are reserved for Business Select, and then the numbers are automatically assigned 36 hours before the flight in this order: A-List Preferred in order of the date the ticket was bought; A-List in order of the date the ticket was bought; Early Bird in order of the date the ticket was bought; regular fare in order of the time of online check-in (beginning 24 hrs before the flight). Back when I didn't fly as much, I occasionally ended up in the B group even though I paid for EB. Now that I fly enough to be A-List Preferred, I'm generally between A16 and A30. I don't mind people saving a single seat for someone, because the extra seat is usually a middle seat, and no one wants those anyway. And sometimes both the person saving the seat and the one coming later are both EB, or one is A-List and the other is EB, so I wouldn't assume that the issue was being too cheap to pay for EB. When I fly with DS, I always pay for EB on his ticket, but he still ends up behind me in the A group. So I take the window seat until he gets there, then I switch to the middle seat that no one wants anyway so he can have the window. It does bother me to see someone saving a whole row, and occasionally I've seen families where 2 people get EB and then save 2 whole rows, and I think that's definitely rude.
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