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Everything posted by unsinkable

  1. Wow, Lisa! Welcome back! It must be a bittersweet feeling. Safe travels and I hope it all goes smoothly.
  2. I always say we need a laughing while crying emoji. I think she is lucky to have you and I think the sooner she comes and lives with you guys, the better. I dont think she would benefit from a "youre a 21 yo adult now, sink or swim" approach based on her upbringing. Some thoughts: Collaborate on goals she wants and what it would look like and how you can help her get there/achieve them Guide her while making the list with statements like, "Now you mentioned learning to manage money. For me that means: XYZ bc of ABC. Is that what you are thinking?" I'd schedule periodic review sessions (biweekly) to see how all parties (you all, not her parents) are still feeling. I'd look into Catholic Charities counseling (it is not for only Catholics and it isn't religious) or another community counseling, if available. I'd also look for group self help groups that might apply, like Al-Anon or grief support, etc. I don't know her parents' particular situation, if alcohol or drug abuse is involved but you did mention a loss.
  3. Or you could try chicken thighs. They have a higher fat content so they are harder to dry out plus (IMO) they have a mouth feel that is more similar to pulled pork.
  4. so you are capable of smarty-pants comments. 😁😁
  5. A prickly person was made a smarty pants comment to you and since you're never prickly or make smarty pants comments, you don't know how to handle it? Do I have this correct? I don't think the comment sounded smarty pants at all. I think the person was being direct. So it were me, I'd stop sending clips from cable shows. She said she doesn't want them. I wouldn't waste me time responding with any cutesy-pie stuff like, "Ouch." If I really was hurt, ( which I wouldn't have been with a direct comment like what she said to you) I would directly say, "That comment hurt me. Please don't make smarty pants comments like that because I cannot handle it."
  6. Would she accept this (or any other cultural) behavior from a white guy who was born and raised in the US? She has to deal with the consequences of his choices regarding their relationship at this point, not the causes.
  7. also, keep your cell phone on you at all times, as well as a house phone if you have one. put a cell phone inside a bedroom that locks and instruct the younger kids to run in there and lock the door if Brother starts anything... screaming (at you, at them, anyhting that scares them.) Tell them they have permission to call 911 if they are afraid and they wouldn't get in trouble, you won't be mad, etc.
  8. IME, religious schools are worth it if the adults there have a commitment to the vision and purpose of the school, and are not just there to kill time until they can get to a more lucrative job. Does the school have teachers and {religious if applicable (nuns, brothers, priests)} that have been there long term? Does it have regular religion classes? regular Mass or services? Clubs and service organizations that service both long and short term needs in the community (ie, not just a food drive once a year). How many students are involved in these? what do alumna say about the school? IOW, I'd choose a religious school that made the religion integral in the students' lives and I think for it to be that way, it has to be that way in the teachers' lives first.
  9. i would only do it if it was a legit company, with insurance and a written document specify exactly what would be removed (ie, removed to trunk at 1 ft, or stump ground, what will be done with debris, etc.)
  10. Lots of hugs. I am so so sorry. Based on what you've said and what I've seen in family I would call a lawyer and have her on stand-by. I'd also have an emergency psych eval. A good kid who has taken such a drastic turn has something going on. Also, try to get some money together for bail, if he gets arrested. If he does get arrested, if I could, I'd take him from holding to a psych ER as soon as I bailed him out. Adding this: keep your cell phone on you at all times, as well as a house phone if you have one. put a cell phone inside a bedroom that locks and instruct the younger kids to run in there and lock the door if Brother starts anything... screaming (at you, at them, anything that scares them.) Tell them they have permission to call 911 if they are afraid and they wouldn't get in trouble, you won't be mad, etc. I keep thinking of things: If you have a pet that might try to be protective in a scuffle or get hurt in a scuffle (hurt by getting underfoot), or that you think might be a target of an outburst, consider boarding it or having it stay with a friend
  11. away from you? i started the told what I had read in another thread wasn't said, then I pointed out it was, with quotes. Got told again, nope, no one thinks that. This thread goes on with people saying again what I had quoted from other thread. But, nope, no one said that or thinks like that. LOL *There is nothing wrong with calling unskilled labor, "unskilled labor." And IMO, it is diminished, and the people who perform it are diminished, when that is not acknowledged.* And another thing...people have pretty short memories of all the threads over the years where posters would LOL at people who were the education majors in college, bc according to the LOLers, they were the stupidest people in the easiest majors. "hahahaha, did you ever see their homework?! hahaha! They had to make bulletin boards! hee-hee-hee
  12. There is Tell Me About the Catholic Faith that is for older kids that might better suit your 7 yo. It is also by Ignatius. It is twice as long as the one with " for small children" in the title. It isn't as simpl ified.
  13. My gut instinct is that Maleah was killed by the ex-finance and mom together before the mom left town. And they came up with some ridiculous plan that he was supposed to pretend to be kidnapped, etc. Horrible. Considering what she had already lived through, it makes me ill to think of how she might have died. She was supposed to be wearing a helmet bc of her craniectomy. Poor little baby.
  14. That's the was more than one hospital visit with 2 different head injury locations. early July she was lethargic and vomitting blood; T&R. Late July, return to hospital with forehead lac. 8/1 return to hospital, transfer to another hospital for craniectomy. She & her brother were removed then, and returned to mother with monitoring in Feb.
  15. This little girl, Maleah, was failed on more than one level, as with all children who end up murdered by a known person. Last July/August she was taken to the hospital with a series of head injuries that culminated with a craniectomy to relieve pressure from a subdural hematoma. Her injuries were not consistent with explanations given to medical personnel.
  16. Not Katie, but we always used the Faith and Life series from Ignatius Press. It is a wonderful series, beautiful pictures, and aligned with catechism.
  17. dont worry, if you've seen one, you'll see a dozen more before July... Watch out for them in the folds of your shower curtain.
  18. I just want to die at the exact same moment my daughter does because any other alternative makes me ill. What would she do with me? What would I do with her? If anyone has a problem with me thinking like this, I don't care.
  19. IMO, Insisting that unskilled labor is really skilled labor diminishes those who do unskilled labor...And shows an unacknowledged prejudice AGAINST unskilled labor, bc it seems that the language has to be changed to make the job *more important.* Being a housekeeper is *enough.* Being an unskilled laborer is *enough.* Someone's humanity makes her worthy and enough, not the type of labor she provides.
  20. And people also quite specifically stated that housekeeping wasn't unskilled labor.
  21. This topic was tangential in a thread. And a point was made that a housecleaner was considered unskilled labor, to which a few people disagreed. Unskilled vs skilled labor does not mean a person is not using "skills" to complete the job/labor/work. Of course skills are used when you clean a house. The distinction is about how much education and specialized training is needed to do the job. House cleaning is unskilled compared to plumbing. washing a floor is unskilled compared to refinishing a floor. There is no moral value intrinsic (or extrinsic, either) to the terms. edited to add the quotes where people disagreed that housekeeping is unskilled labor: "Cleaning houses may not be a traditionally educated position, but it’s hardly unskilled." "Housekeeping isn't unskilled labor."
  22. I would do it in a second. I see it as no difference in picking up a store item that is going off sale before my kid can get to the store.
  23. I just looked this up. Fox News ran an AP story that used the phrase. It wasn't one of the Fox writers or reporters or commentators. I don't care who uses "Easter Worshippers." It sounds awkward to my ears and much easier to say tourists and Christians.
  24. A psychiatrist addressed the concept with me a few years ago because he felt it would give our family insight into various behaviors.
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