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About caedmyn

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    Hive Mind Level 6 Worker: Scout Bee

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  1. We put our old house on the market last month and had a full-price offer (with us paying their closing costs) within hours. We'd listed the house about 10% above what the realtor thought the market value was. The appraisal came back on Friday at the market value, and obviously the sellers are not willing to pay above that for the house. We're strongly considering counter-offering, agreeing to the price they want but without paying their closing costs. There's a good chance we'll lose these buyers if we do that, because they're using an FHA loan, which I guess is generally used when buyers don't have the cash for a down payment, which means they probably don't have the money for closing costs either. Obviously it's not possible to know exactly what will happen if these buyers walk away, but it seems like we're in a good position to find another buyer quickly. We're in a seller's market. Houses in our neighborhood have sold very quickly the last year or so. Our house is one of the larger houses in the neighborhood (not significantly larger, but a bit larger with an extra bedroom) on one of the largest lots, with a very large, heated garage. It's also got lots of new--newer roof, new paint inside and out, and all non-carpeted areas have brand new flooring. We don't have a payment on the house but the proceeds will pay down a good chunk of the loan on our current house and allow us to drop the PMI so it does benefit us financially to sell it...but so would an extra 6K that we'd lose in closing costs. Is it better to go with the sure thing, or take a (probably fairly small) chance with finding a new buyer?
  2. I don’t know why people are interpreting things this way. My kids have done/are doing dyslexia remediation, OT, speech therapy, and vision therapy. We’ve worked some on EF issues. There are many things that are being/have been addressed. I don’t believe they’re basically doomed for life because they haven't been evaluated for or given meds for adhd. They will certainly have the option of starting those once they hit 18. If it seems that they could benefit from them as adults, I'll make sure they’re aware of their options. My need was for a babysitter, primarily for the youngest ones. It doesn’t require a bunch of special qualifications for that, just some experience. I’d hoped the sitter could do a bit with the olders, but if not, it wasn’t essential and the main need has still been met.
  3. I think I wasn’t very clear. I meant that in order to move closer to whatever services, there would be a need to agree that those services were needed on an ongoing basis.
  4. First there would have to be a consensus from both parents that there is a need for services. Moving out of the area isn't really an option anyway as DH has an excellent job here that is cannot be transferred elsewhere (it basically exists because we're near the US/Canada border).
  5. DS10 is dyslexic. He's done through Level 8 of Barton (reading and spelling program for dyslexia) and then spent all of last year reviewing the spelling in Barton because he'd apparently forgotten all of it. He couldn't/wouldn't spell any better at the end of all that review than before it. This year he's going though Megawords 1. The first section is compound words, and we're having problems because he can't/won't apply the spelling that he's learned. He generally doesn't know how to spell any sight words (in spite of the fact that we've gone over them all twice using the Barton methods, and he can spell them fine for a month or two afterwards and then forgets them) or anything that uses vowel teams. I really don't know how to handle this. Do I just tell him how to spell anything he says he doesn't know how to spell? Make him review the rules on vowel teams every time and find the others from the list of words at the beginning of the Megawords book? Give up on spelling entirely...after all, he can always use spell checkers? (That last option is sounding really good right at the moment.)
  6. Demanding evaluations first would certainly mean that I could never get any help. Also, people are assuming that there is even someone local to me who deals with these sort of behavioral issues, and as far I've been able to find out, there is not.
  7. I have to triage when working through things. Two of mine are done with Barton as far as I plan to go atm (Level 8), and two are still doing it with an online tutor, so that's off my plate. Right now DS10 and DS6 are working on retained reflexes. Somehow I'll have to fit in vision therapy exercises for DS10, and that will be all I can do. DS6 seems to have visual issues also but I'm not going to pursue addressing those aside from a few tracking drills until DS10 is done. It doesn't work to do things in a group setting here. I have trouble dividing my attention between multiple kids, and there's generally at least minor non-compliance going on, and when that gets multiplied by two or more kids and increased by whatever degree they're feeding off each other which they always do, it's just not feasible.
  8. I've dealt with enough professionals in various fields in my life who have the credentials but apparently don't know what they're doing to value results far more than credentials. I think we will have to agree to disagree on whether he's qualified. Apparently the state of California feels his qualifications and experience are sufficient for him to work with kids with severe behavior issues in their schools, and to train school personal who work with these kids also. Also, there is one research study showing that the Raising Lions method was effective at improving behavior in the classroom (normal classrooms, not special ed ones IIRC). I find it a bit ironic that I am given credit for successfully figuring out and remediating some things that are often identified through evaluations, yet I can't possibly have figured out what's going on in other areas or whether certain people in my family might have or don't have certain issues or what root causes or contributing factors might be or what might effectively address the issues that I see. I'm not saying that nothing could be learned from evaluations or that I know everything, but that I'm the one seeing everything and the one researching and analyzing everything from different angles, and I think I do a pretty decent job of that and generally have a pretty good idea of what I'm talking about. There are things other than genetics that are known to cause or contribute to both attention issues and behavioral issues which are present for my kids, including high maternal stress levels during pregnancy and living in a high-conflict household. Also, any genetics for attention issues (or any other issues) can certainly come from further up the family line than the parents--my dad's sister has an ADHD diagnosis, and my dad clearly has some attention issues and EF issues himself. Yet me and my siblings didn't have any particular attention issues or EF issues growing up. My dad could possibly be mildly dyslexic (he's a pretty poor speller), but if he is, the genetics for that skipped his children entirely and came out with a vengeance in mine.
  9. My oldest is not very responsible and doesn't have good EF (though a minimum of teenage issues thus far thankfully), and she is not much help with the younger ones. I do think my kids would be very different if DS10 had been further down in the birth order. He has very much set the tone for the others and not in a good way.
  10. Thanks for this post. Did you used to have a different board name? If so I've got quite a lot over the years from your posts on ways to simplify, though I can't manage to be quite as laid-back as you are.
  11. I'm not going to go into the details of why, but I feel very confident that that is not the case here.
  12. That makes sense to me, but it seemed like they always recommend 30-36. I guess I will see what the recommendation is when his results come back. They also said they always go through the same sequence as far as what they work on, which seems funny to me because I would think that not every kid would need to work on, say, visual discrimination or visual memory.
  13. I don't think it's reasonable to make judgments or critiques about his methods without knowing much about him. You might have a very different perspective on it if you read his book or blog posts. I don't know why this information wasn't included in his ABOUT page, but he has something like 20 years experience working with kids with serious behavioral issues in the schools, so I think those are pretty good qualifications. I've not seen that he has a position one way or another on evaluations. He does talk about successfully resolving behavioral issues in kids with many different diagnoses, including ADHD, ODD, and conduct disorder. It's hard because working with kids with serious behavioral issues is hard. (Also because it's hard to be working through a bunch of issues with multiple kids while dealing with a feverish, teething baby with an ear infection who hasn't been sleeping much which was my reality last week.) I don't think any method is going to magically make these big issues easy. It's the same with your DS, that he's very challenging to work with, not because what you're doing is not working (though I'm sure you've tried your fair share of things that haven't), but because, from what you've said various times, he's just going to be a challenge even when you're doing absolutely everything right/the best possible way.
  14. I don't have the results from his evaluation yet, but they said they typically recommend 30-36 visits. It seems like some kids would need less than others but that's what they said.
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