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caedmyn

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About caedmyn

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    Hive Mind Level 6 Worker: Scout Bee

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  1. I think maybe my boys (the older ones are 6, 9, and 11) would be less wild if they got more exercise. They play outside for at least two or three hours most days, but that doesn't seem to be enough. Ideally they'd each run for 15 or 20 minutes before we start school each day, but the sidewalks were already covered with snow and/or ice for half of October, so that's not a very practical idea. Exercise videos will NOT work--they'll get themselves super wound up and be even more wild. What else could they do to burn off a lot of energy before we start school each day? Does exercise later in the day, like swimming or martial arts, carry over to the next day in terms of less wildness/crazy energy?
  2. I would probably pay $8/hr if they did a good job. FWIW the three mother's helpers that I've hired that were about that age had a very hard time trying to keep track of or entertain more than one kid. But I was baby-sitting 2 or 3 kids at 12, so...I guess it depends on the 12 YO. I wouldn't expect more than the mother's helper playing with them, and maybe giving them a pre-made snack, unless your mother's helper is exceptionally capable.
  3. We’re shopping for a couch set or sectional for our family room. I’m not sure what type of couch would hold up best to kid abuse. My kids are very hard on everything. We currently have a really nice leather couch set that we bought used in our living room. I really like the wipe-clean ability of the leather with kids, and it’s held up well so far, but DH doesn’t think leather is really comfortable to sit on. Before that we had a series of regular fabric couches, and the back cushions/padding tore away from the frame on two of them due to kids laying/climbing on the backs. We’ve never had a microfiber couch so idk how well those hold up. I have heard that they really attract pet hair, and we do have a cat.
  4. I’m trying to figure out if my 13 yo’s school day is too long. How long does school take your 8th grader? Does instrument practice count as part of their school day? I’d especially like to hear from anyone who leans more toward CM or non-rigorous schooling.
  5. By bodywork do you mean exercises for retained reflexes, or something else?
  6. I wouldn't have a problem with that for the wedding itself. It might be a little much for the reception, but I think it would be fine to ask that guests please refrain from posting any pictures taken til after the reception (I would assume they have some sort of reason for this though). Of course you couldn't control whether people actually followed the request or not.
  7. I got the results of my 10 YO's developmental vision screening today. For ocular motility, it said he can adequately perform pursuits eye movements and saccadic eye movements, but his ability to do some other eye movements (it didn't specify what they were called) was very weak. In the area of accomodation/eye focusing, it said he has some difficulty rapidly shifting focus from distance to near, and focusing at near for sustained periods of time. In the area of binocular integration/eye teaming, it said he had moderately decreased stability in eye teaming. It said he had no problems with visual information processing skills. They recommend 24-30 sessions of vision therapy to work on these items, at a cost of $120 session along with a 6 hr round trip drive with 6 kids: Monocular activities designed to equalize the focus, tracking, and pointing of each eye Binocular work to improve eye-teaming efficiency while focusing, tracking, and pointing Guided reading therapy to improve the eye tracking, eye teaming, and speed of fluent reading Visual-spatial tasks to develop integrated sequential and directional concepts Visual motor tasks to improve body awareness and control, visually directed fine and gross motor skills, and hand-eye coordination Inter-sensory integration skills through visual-auditory-verbal matching The original information I received when we did the screening was that they have 9 areas related to vision that they work with, so they are still wanting to work with him on 6 of those areas, and also that they typically recommend 30-36 sessions of VT. What they're recommending for my 10 YO seems like overkill to me. They're basing his need to work on spatial awareness on getting a low score on a test of reversal frequency recognition, and on being slow to copy sentences in another test. Is it even reasonable to expect a dyslexic child to do well on those particular tests? They were told that he's dyslexic. I also don't understand why he would need to work on inter-sensory integration if his visual-sensory integration tested as being strong to very strong. They said some people do bi-weekly sessions instead of weekly, but still require the same number of sessions, which doesn't entirely make sense to me because what's the purpose of doing two weeks worth of homework if it's not actually improving the outcome over doing a week's worth? Why not just do the homework once or maybe twice the second week so no gains are lost? I'm not sure I'm even willing to do that drive more than once a month except in the summer, but I don't know if they'll work with that. I can call and ask them some questions on Monday.
  8. ,Our hand vacuum died a couple days ago, so I need to get a new one. We use a hand vacuum mainly for vacuuming the stairs, vacuuming the edges of rooms (with a wand attachment), and vacuuming under couch cushions. Any recommendations?
  9. My younger 3 like her. Idk about the older ones. But then, we had a sitter this summer who they all liked, but she was utterly incapable of being firm or basic child management like not letting a 2 yo run out the exterior door any time he wants. She just trailed along behind...sometimes well behind....the then-2-yo as he ran around doing whatever he wanted, and it was worse with the older ones, so we had to let her go (and we did talk to her a few times but she couldn't seem to do anything differently). So yes, I do want them to like a sitter, but she absolutely has to be able to manage whatever kids she's actually responsible for. We hired her primarily so she could watch the 1 & 3 yo's while we do school. That's 3 hours of her day. That was the NEED. She is handling that reasonably well, and maybe the spots that aren't being handled well like the 3 yo being allowed to wander off once the 6 yo joins them, could be handled differently if I'm very clear about what I need done in those situations. The other hour was a WANT, so I could have a bit of downtime while the kids ate lunch and then spend some time with just the littles. She's not able, willing, whatever to manage the older ones so I'm not able to do the WANT things with that last hour, which I think is primarily what people are telling me I'm being unreasonable about (ie the way she interacts with the older ones). But really, I don't feel comfortable taking that downtime away from everybody when I know the older ones are not really being supervised, and that time they spend ignoring one adult bleeds over into their interactions with me later and makes things more difficult. I just don't think it's unreasonable to want that extra time to actually benefit me or my family if I'm going to be paying her to be there for that. So either I need to tell her I don't need her there for that last bit, and if she quits she quits, or find something else that she's willing to do during that time that does actually benefit us. Maybe she could stay til 2 just one day each week and I could run errands with a couple of the older ones, and leave at 12:30 the other days. I don't know.
  10. This seriously makes me laugh. My household is much more likely to be described as chaotic than regimented! You have no idea how much trouble I have providing structure and being consistent. It is so hard. What you are calling regimented is being done out of necessity. I simply cannot make, say, kids doing chores, happen reliably any other way than to say, "Chores have to be done before you can eat breakfast." It provides the motivator of them wanting to eat, and the consistency of it happening before something that we do regularly (eat breakfast). This summer my kids ate breakfast when each of them wanted to more or less due to 2 of them having online reading tutoring at 2 different times of the morning. Chores got done extremely sporadically. I tried saying they couldn't go outside and play until their chores were done, and I couldn't enforce that. I tried finding another time of day that would work to get them done, and didn't find one. They certainly aren't going to just volunteer to do their chores (and they get paid to do these particular morning chores). As I said on the other thread, if my DD was responsible enough to do her chores on her own, she certainly could do them at a different time of day. But she can't, and I want these chores done, so she has to do them when I can actually make chore time happen. (And the windows are only one of her chores because she gets a different chore for each day, and I needed one more, so I added the windows to her list when I couldn't think of anything else that really needed done on a weekly basis.) I find it ironic that every time I've posted asking for what to do with my kids, and every time a thread on another topic turns into people telling me what they think I should do with my kids, at least one person tells me I need more STRUCTURE. Yet here I am being told I am way too rigid and authoritarian.
  11. It's not that they're getting out of their seats to get silverware, or refill a glass, or grab the ketchup. It's that they're getting out of their seats to run around the house, eating while running around, or getting up to run around and be wild when they're supposed to be eating.
  12. I don't think I run a particularly tight ship. If I do something a particular way, it's generally for a reason, like I've tried doing it five different ways and only one really worked. It gets really chaotic, and really messy, if 5 kids are all making their own lunch. Also, it's virtually impossible to get them to sit at the table and eat if others are running around making their food, because I can't really supervise 5 kids going several different directions. I dislike having chocolate milk stains on my carpet and crumbs everywhere, so I want them to eat at the table. I know in my baby-sitting days, parents would tell me what they wanted the kids to have for lunch or dinner. I always assumed that that is what they wanted all their kids to eat for lunch. How is this any different? In my book there's a difference between someone being relaxed about letting kids eat what they want at lunch, and telling a kid to do or not do something and then doing nothing if they don't, or letting a 3 yo run off while she plays with a 6 yo when she was specifically hired to watch the 3 yo at all time while we're doing school. I do think she has a good bit of autonomy. She can do whatever to keep the 3 yo, 1 yo, and 6 yo occupied, as long as whoever she has is staying downstairs so we can do school upstairs. I might give her a direction two-three times a day at most, something like saying occasionally, "3 yo's been asking to do puzzles/play these games", or "6 yo has speech therapy today at 11:30. Are you okay with staying here with 1 yo, 3 yo, and 8 yo?" or "They can have sandwiches for lunch." I let a lot of things go that are not the way I would do them or prefer them done. That doesn't mean I'm ok with letting absolutely everything go.
  13. I advertised for this on Care.com, craigslist, and a local FB childcare group. It was listed as part-time nanny/mother's helper. I got zero responses from actual nannies. I got several responses from moms with school-age kids looking for work while their kids were at school, several from 20-22 yo's who I didn't think were likely to have enough childcare experience/life experience, and from a few people who didn't actually meet the criteria (ie weren't available one week every month due to another job, wanted to bring their own child, didn't have their own transportation and wanted me to transport them to and from). I could look to hire someone else and end up in the exact same situation. How on earth could I guarantee that anyone I hire will actually be willing to be firm and follow through? We did specifically ask her that and tell her that they would test her and she said she could handle it.
  14. I do. Initially I was in a different room during lunch. Now mostly I'm in the kitchen (making my own lunch, putting school stuff away) and she's in the dining room with them. But if someone gets out of their seat, I expect her to say something FIRST since she's right there at the table, and that's not happening.
  15. I'm thinking I will just have him review the Barton rules this year and otherwise give spelling a break. We've spent the last 5 years working intensively on reading and spelling. I think we can focus on other things that need to be focused on this year, like vision therapy and retained reflex work.
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