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PrairieSong

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Everything posted by PrairieSong

  1. Greta, I am so sorry. You and your family will be in my prayers. Your beautiful words were filled with grace and love.
  2. I hope so, but I don't always feel very positive about it. There is so much opposition to it, as well as misinformation.
  3. My dad was an MD and he complained constantly about how much he hated fighting with insurance companies. For example, a patient of his in the hospital who had Condition X was only allowed by the insurance company to stay Y number of days in the hospital. Because profits! If that patient needed to stay longer due to a complication or an underlying medical condition or whatever, too bad. Dad would try his darnedest to convince the insurance company. Sometimes he was successful, and sometimes he had to discharge patients too soon. So incredibly frustrating, to not be able to do the best thing for his patients. That is only one way insurance companies ration health care. We could do so much better.
  4. This issue hits me very hard. One of my older brothers very likely has undiagnosed Asperger's. He is in his 60's. Our parents (mostly Mom) supported him going to college for fifteen years, then living on his own, and then moving back in with our parents for over twenty years. He had a few very part time jobs decades ago but mostly did not work. Mom passed away years ago and Dad passed away less than two years ago. They never did anything to really help him aside from financial support and a vague hope that he'd figure out something. Dad had a friend (in the last few years) who was a psychologist and she strongly suspected Asperger's but there was never an evaluation. When Dad died, there was no fortune left but my brother got a little money to tide him over for a few months. Then he found a small rental place and, wonder of wonders, a real job! Not a high paying job, but over minimum wage. He lives very frugally. He has one close friend and a handful of acquaintances. His close friend is a 90-something neighbor. He visits her almost daily. He never realized everything that goes into supporting yourself, how much everything costs, etc., until he was past sixty!! I don't know what will happen to him as he ages. If he qualifies for SS, it's not going to be much. I don't think he could live with me because he is extremely messy, undisciplined, unhelpful, etc. He isn't trying to be annoying on purpose. I know that and hope I don't sound mean. I'm grateful he has a job, but wonder about his future. OP, I hope your son will get his evaluation and that you will start to get more answers about what kind of help he needs. I'm no expert at all but I wish the best for your son and for you and your family.
  5. I think it's a common thing for past friendships to mean more to one party than the other. Sometimes it's just a difference in personality. Some people move on easily while others tend to be more sentimental about past friendships. Neither is right or wrong, just different. Several years ago we received a wedding invitation and did not recognize the bride OR the groom, at first!! Then I realized that the bride and her family had been in our homeschool group probably 15 years before. Her brother is married to a young woman we know and they go to our church. That was our only connection. We had never been close to this family and had never socialized with them outside of homeschool potlucks years ago. So who knows what goes through people's minds when they are making wedding guest lists? If you want to go, go. If not, send your regrets and a nice card. Sending money or a gift is totally up to you.
  6. Yes. I have an Orthodox email friend (we have never met) who contacted me because her daughter wanted to enter a monastery and she had no one to talk to who had been there, as a parent. Her daughter did enter but only stayed a few months. Through discernment, they discovered that the monastic life wasn't for her, at least not at that place and time. I have never heard of nuns who try to brainwash young women and take them away to their "cult". It makes no sense, even on a common sense level. What would be the point? They are all living a sacrificial life of poverty, chastity, and obedience together. No one is getting rich, or getting accolades. They spend much time in prayer, and in the case of non-cloistered Catholic orders, also spend much time teaching, nursing, caring for the poor, etc. Ah well. I guess people sometimes see what they want to see.
  7. I had a long response typed up this morning and it got lost when I tried to post. Sigh. As the mother of a religious sister, I feel compelled to reply. Our daughter visited several religious orders, and ended up working for her current order the summer before her senior year of college. She felt strongly called to join them, and when she asked permission to enter, the mother superior said yes but urged her to finish her last year of college, which she did. She then entered the postulancy (very first step) for a few months. She did not feel ready to go on, so she left for an entire year, with the sisters' blessing. The next year she re-entered. She had seven years of formation before making her final vows, not counting her year off. The religious life is nothing like the grim picture you have painted, Janeway. I would bet that you have only heard the family's very skewed side. They were strongly opposed to this life choice of their daughter. Maybe she chose to cut off contact for a time for that very reason. It would be interesting to hear the young woman's own perspective. As for my daughter, yes her name was changed. She had a say in this and kept her first name, adding her confirmation name to it. The sisters did not cut her off from us. Currently she has her own cell phone because she is in charge of collections, so she and another sister are out and about. We text (not daily), email, and call once a month, though we can call at any time if we need to do so. The sisters did not "take" all her belongings. She left them with me. They did not "strip" her of her identity. She is a joyful, fulfilled, hard-working religious, serving the poor in another country. She made a prayerful, intelligent choice to lay down her life in this way. It is not about coercion. Just the opposite. It is about freedom. The habit, the vows, the lack of possessions, free her to serve God whole-heartedly in this way. She was not some frightened child. She was (is) a smart young adult who was also considering going to medical school to serve the poor as a lay doctor. She could have done it. She had the ability, but her call was not there. Also, she can leave her order at any time. She stays because of love, not fear. Sure, it was hard. It still is, but we've all adjusted. We have a deep peace about it. She made sacrifices and so did we. Love is sacrificial. I know other families whose children are in religious orders and I've known many religious in my 50+ years as a cradle Catholic, and I have never heard any stories remotely like the one you shared. It does sound more like a Jack Chick pamphlet than real life.
  8. Actually I'm at the store now and they do still have TSP. The guy who does work for us suggested Zinsser primer and then a latex semigloss paint.
  9. We need to repaint kitchen cabinets that were painted about ten years ago. It's a rental house. I've never painted cabinets (handyman did it before) and want advice on the best kind/brand of paint to use that will look good and be durable. Should we sand first? Latex or oil based? The cabinets are painted white but just look worn. We will stick with white or off white so color coverage shouldn't be an issue. TIA!
  10. I got one recently. I made pinto beans last night for tacos, yum. I didn't even presoak the beans. I've also made pulled pork a couple times. I love that it's so fast. The meat doesn't have to be wet or saucy when you eat it. You could add it to fried rice or another stir fry, eat it in sandwiches or just by itself with whatever veggies on the side. I'm looking forward to cooking rice, making yogurt, and trying out lots more recipes. That said, if you really don't love it and won't use it, give it away or sell it.
  11. Ooh, yarn! I think the three blues with the cream would be very good together. If you guys decide to go with a green, maybe an apple green? Like a Granny Smith apple? I wouldn't do a bright lime green. JMO.
  12. I know it hurts when a friendship ends, but honestly, I don't have the energy for lopsided friendships, which it sounds like yours was. I'm sorry it ended on such a bad note and that she didn't even see how she had hurt you. I think it's great that you're still going to the event since you enjoy it. Have a great time, and I wish you continued healing and peace.
  13. Re: the bolded, can your dh have the college average out his pay so that all twelve months are the same? Teachers often do that so that they get paid during the summer months, too. I didn't catch when you are leaving for your parents' house, but I hope you're getting a lot done! I always liked to have at least one weekend a year to myself to work on stuff like that with no little ones around. Also, I didn't have to stop and feed anyone. Good job on the magazine rack.
  14. I've had an upswing in the amount of scam calls I'm getting on my cell phone, several per day. They either from a different state or they spoof a number that looks almost like mine. Usually I don't answer. Heather and Rachel have both called me, as well as someone offering health insurance options, and the "IRS" having a warrant for my arrest. "Microsoft" hasn't called me about computer viruses lately though.
  15. I attended a similar wedding a few years ago. The invitation didn't specify, but people were expected to know it was "evening wear" because it was a 6:00 pm wedding. I saw very few guests in formal wear. Most ladies were wearing nice knee length dresses. A few wore sundresses and a couple young guys were in jeans. I'd just wear a nice dress or skirt, strappy sandals, and go and enjoy.
  16. So happy for you and the whole family! Congratulations!
  17. I had a bunch of extra sheets but have pared down to two sets per bed, one regular and one flannel. That way one set is on the bed and only one needs to be stored. I have a few extra pillowcases. I gave a large bag of ratty/bleach spotted towels to the humane society. I would do the whole linen closet at one time so you can wipe down the shelves and see what you actually have. Then put back only what you really want to use. Donate the rest.
  18. I think it is an added expense and extra task that isn't completely necessary, but I can see why people think they're useful. I guess it depends on how many guests there are and if they are mostly/all close friends and relatives. If the guest list isn't huge and they are people you're in contact with for the most part, I'd spread the word verbally. If not, send STDs. When dd got married, she did a Facebook Save the Date for all her same age friends, and sent STDs in the mail to the, ahem, older people and those she wasn't Facebook friends with. Of course everyone received an invitation in the mail. I thought that was a good compromise.
  19. My SIL and I went there last year. It was fun. The mercantile was on the pricey side. The food was good but the portions were enormous. My SIL had the chicken fried steak and I had the reuben which was delicious, but we only ate half and took the rest with us. I think we waited in line about an hour for lunch. We also enjoyed browsing through some of the other shops around town.
  20. Not our kids, but the daughter of someone we know has had years of debilitating health problems like chronic fatigue and pain that incapacitates her. She missed a ton of school and did school from home for a while. She's almost 23 now and I think she was about 15 when she had the vaccine. We're not anti vax but we said no to this one.
  21. Since you only have a short time, clean the most obviously dirty things first. I probably wouldn't clean things like light fixtures or baseboards unless they are very obviously dirty. I would definitely vacuum, dust, mop, and clean the bathrooms. I'd also get rid of any clutter if you have any, like knick knacks, personal possessions, photos or notes on the fridge, etc. Put them away in boxes and store in a closet. I'd go for a very spare, open look. Later you can tackle other things.
  22. A quick look at someone's social media is not creepy. They put it online for people to see, right? If you don't want someone to see it or read it, don't post it on the internet.
  23. A friend from my single days called me once, years ago. We hadn't talked in a long time and it was a happy surprise UNTIL she started talking about their business. She wouldn't tell me what business it was, but she and her dh were eager to drive 1.5 hours to our house to tell us about this "wonderful" opportunity. I finally got her to admit it was Amway. Ugh. I never talked to her again. It felt so creepy that she would use our friendship that way. I guess they all do it. I block people who hawk their MLM products on Facebook.
  24. I feel bad if someone is going through a rough patch because they lost their job or whatever. However, I have little sympathy for people who lie to us and/or destroy our property.
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