Soror Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 I'm sorry Dawn. Prayers for your family 🙏 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LifeLovePassion Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 I'm so sorry, that sounds miserable for him. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom31257 Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 I'm so sorry, Dawn! I pray he will not suffer long and that you will have peace and comfort as well as the resources you need to get through this! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 I'm so sorry, Dawn. I saw this ProPublica article yesterday. You might find it helpful. How to research your hospice (and avoid hospice fraud) 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 13, 2022 Author Share Posted December 13, 2022 8 minutes ago, Pawz4me said: I'm so sorry, Dawn. I saw this ProPublica article yesterday. You might find it helpful. How to research your hospice (and avoid hospice fraud) Thanks. It looks like the residential is for crisis management, that may be why they said they didn't think he would qualify. We will see what they advise. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 Talk to them about getting hospice ASAP. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 13, 2022 Author Share Posted December 13, 2022 6 minutes ago, Katy said: Talk to them about getting hospice ASAP. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Hospice is coming to assess him. I think they will come today. 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 I would think that would be very painful, and pain could explain his blood pressure? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 13, 2022 Author Share Posted December 13, 2022 Dad came from a family of 5 boys. He was smack in the middle. 3 of them have passed away. He still has a 93 year old brother! I spoke to him yesterday. He is the 2nd oldest. My dad is 87. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 13, 2022 Author Share Posted December 13, 2022 Just now, Terabith said: I would think that would be very painful, and pain could explain his blood pressure? I don't know. He has had high blood pressure and being in constant A-fib for quite a while now. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 Just now, DawnM said: Dad came from a family of 5 boys. He was smack in the middle. 3 of them have passed away. He still has a 93 year old brother! I spoke to him yesterday. He is the 2nd oldest. My dad is 87. Wow that is cool Dawn. 18k more to add hospice is absolutely ridiculous. Hopefully there is another way. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 (edited) I would take him home and hire 24/7 sitters along with hospice. It would be much less expensive. Edited December 13, 2022 by Scarlett 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 I am so sorry Dawn. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 13, 2022 Author Share Posted December 13, 2022 7 minutes ago, Scarlett said: Wow that is cool Dawn. 18k more to add hospice is absolutely ridiculous. Hopefully there is another way. 4 minutes ago, Scarlett said: I would take him home and hire 24/7 sitters along with hospice. It would be much less expensive. I spoke to my friend's husband who is a nursing home director. He said they suggest that so he doesn't get up, but we are fine to just say no. Honestly, at this point, I am wondering if he will even leave the hospital. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scholastica Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 Praying for you in this last journey with your dad. It’s so hard, but your love and care for him are beautiful. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 2 minutes ago, DawnM said: I spoke to my friend's husband who is a nursing home director. He said they suggest that so he doesn't get up, but we are fine to just say no. Honestly, at this point, I am wondering if he will even leave the hospital. Wait, I don’t understand, They suggest what so he doesn’t get up? Is there not a hospice wing at the hospital? That is where my best friends father died this past summer. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Familia Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 Prayers for your dad, you and all your loved ones @DawnM 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 Wow, that sounds so terribly overwhelming and hard. Prayers for you and your family Dawn 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 I’m so sorry 😞 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasProud Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 So sorry, Dawn. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scbusf Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 I'm so sorry, Dawn. Hugs all around. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlktwins Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 34 minutes ago, DawnM said: I spoke to my friend's husband who is a nursing home director. He said they suggest that so he doesn't get up, but we are fine to just say no. Honestly, at this point, I am wondering if he will even leave the hospital. If he is in bed with safety rails up, he probably will not be getting out of bed on his own. He will need to be in adult diapers though. My dad has safety rails on his bed at home. If we didn’t he would be getting up all the time on his own and fall (probably every time and he won’t wait 2 seconds for someone to get in his room to help him). He cannot get out without help. He refuses to wear diapers so they use a urinal with him. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 I'm very sorry, Dawn. No wonder he has been falling. I hope they find a good way to manage the pain and that hospice proves to be a helpful option. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace Hopper Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 So sorry, Dawn. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw4321 Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 I’m so sorry, Dawn. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 I'm so sorry, Dawn. For him and for you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 So sorry lifting you in prayer❤️ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 I'm so sorry, Dawn. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 I'm so sorry. I hope that the medical team are able to find a way to keep him comfortable. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaybee Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 I'm so sorry, Dawn. That sounds so painful. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephanier.1765 Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 Oh {{{Dawn}}}, I am so incredibly sorry! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livetoread Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 FWIW, my FIL had prostate cancer that metastasized to his bones. We expected it to be very painful, but it wasn't for him, and he died in reasonable comfort after using few pain meds. Just so you know cancer in the bones isn't always super painful. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 (((hugs))) Dawn. Make sure they're taking good care of his pain control. Sometimes anti-psychotics are helpful at this stage. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaelAldrich Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 Oh man! Dawn, I'm so sorry. I hope that hospice will be of help and that none of you suffer. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 What a challenging time. Sending sympathetic thoughts your way, Dawn. Regards, Kareni 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelydon Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 I would definitely ask for hospice care, they are really good with dealing with these types of situations. It's okay to go ahead and not have him take medications for blood pressure. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in IN Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 So sorry your Dad is having to go through this, Dawn. Praying for you and your family. 💙 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace Hopper Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 28 minutes ago, Shelydon said: I would definitely ask for hospice care, they are really good with dealing with these types of situations. It's okay to go ahead and not have him take medications for blood pressure. Right, seems no longer necessary to agitate him by forcing this med. At this point it’s about comfort and reducing anxiety. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rebcoola Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 I am sorry dawn. Lots of hugs and prayers for you and your family. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 I’m so sorry, Dawn. I hate it that he’s suffering and I’ll keep praying for him. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 Huge huge hugs Old age sucks 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 13, 2022 Author Share Posted December 13, 2022 8 hours ago, Scarlett said: Wait, I don’t understand, They suggest what so he doesn’t get up? They are suggesting we hire a babysitter 24/7 Is there not a hospice wing at the hospital? That is where my best friends father died this past summer. There are places but they are telling me they don't think he qualifies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 13, 2022 Author Share Posted December 13, 2022 Palliative care assessed him today. They said hospice will assess tomorrow and that he is not leaving the hospital any time soon and they will have a plan for him before he leaves. IF he leaves. We will see what happens. We have his DNR situated now and his POA. 15 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KSera Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 I’m so sorry, Dawn. What a terribly difficult time 😔. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 Thanks for continuing to update. Praying for your dad and for you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 I’m so sorry, Dawn - this is really hard! (((Dawn))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 13, 2022 Author Share Posted December 13, 2022 Thank you all. Yes, it is really hard and it is hard not really knowing how much time he has left, where he will be between now and death, and what we need to do. I am guessing we have days or weeks and not months at this point. May the Lord take him home soon. 11 16 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 I’m so sorry you’re facing this. Fwiw, when my father was in the hospital the last time, after assessing his condition and talking with us, they put him on hospice protocols there. It wasn’t a separate place in the hospital, just a different treatment plan. The intention was to send him home, where we would have dealt with a different hospice, but as it happened he didn’t last that long. He received very good care during his final days in the hospital; better, I think, than we could have done at home, even with help from hospice. So, that is one way hospice is organized in some hospitals: same room, different plan. Not leaving the hospital any time soon is probably a good thing at this point, since it means he’s well cared for. Sending lots of hugs. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace Hopper Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 1 hour ago, DawnM said: Palliative care assessed him today. They said hospice will assess tomorrow and that he is not leaving the hospital any time soon and they will have a plan for him before he leaves. IF he leaves. We will see what happens. We have his DNR situated now and his POA. This sounds good, Dawn. It sounds like the care team is on point. 36 minutes ago, DawnM said: Thank you all. Yes, it is really hard and it is hard not really knowing how much time he has left, where he will be between now and death, and what we need to do. I am guessing we have days or weeks and not months at this point. May the Lord take him home soon. Praying for peace for you, your father and family, and for God’s mercy towards your dad. Even when we know the inevitable, it’s still hard when it’s on the doorstep. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 So sorry to hear that. Hospice is likely your best option. And it does sound more like days to weeks. Would he be more comfortable without the IVs? I know it might hasten things but at this point are the IVs making a big difference? Same with some of his other meds. i would ask Hospice about the best comfort care. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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