If you're willing to identify your denominational or religious affiliation or lack of one...

[lauraw4321]

Very interesting topic - thanks for posting it @MercyA!

Raised Southern Baptist. Left the church and all faith in completely in college young adulthood. 
 

Missed the music and went to a UMC church one Easter Sunday. Heard a message about Mary Magdalene being the first preacher of the gospel, which somehow had never been brought to my attention in all my years of church (hmmm, wonder why) which brought me back to faith. 
 

I hold orthodox Christian views but am less concerned about which denomination we attend. Currently attend a Un-affiliated Weslyan church that just left the UMC (which made me sad). 

[lauraw4321]

28 minutes ago, Tiberia said:

Grew up non-denom evangelical. Am now a deconstructed ex-vangelical Christ-follower. Fortunately, my church deconstructed together, so "services" usually consist of meals together and talking about how to receive and give God's love in our lives, families, and communities.  

Amazing!! I wish I could find a community like this!

[Corraleno]

I was raised Catholic and was required to attend church, go to after-school catechism classes, and go through First Communion and Confirmation. I was already agnostic by the time I was confirmed, and firmly atheist by the age of 16.

After my parents divorced, my NPD mother started attending a very legalistic/patriarchal/evangelical church, and dragged my younger sister (the golden child) along with her. My sister and I were close growing up, but the last time we visited was 2009; the combination of BIL's racist rants about Obama and their repeated attempts to convert my kids pretty much ended any meaningful relationship. One of my brothers is an agnostic lapsed Catholic (married in a Catholic Church but hasn't attended in many years), and the other (now deceased) was atheist. 

[Hyacinth]

Raised Baptist.

Attended nondenominational churches (basically Baptist with better websites 😉).

Now attend an Anglican Church in the ACNA denomination. Love it!

[BlsdMama]

Raised Catholic including Catholic high school, now Protestant non denominational, and probably lean most towards Baptist.

 My two oldest belong to a Baptist church, my third is Greek Orthodox (old calendar), and my fourth attend church with us but attends a Pentecostal outreach community at college. 

Edited September 5, 2022 by BlsdMama

[kbutton]

This thread is giving me good ideas for what kinds of churches to try next. 🙂 

[forty-two]

52 minutes ago, lauraw4321 said:

Heard a message about Mary Magdalene being the first preacher of the gospel

It was the Feast of St. Mary Magdalene recently (07/22), and I learned this year that her traditional title has been "Apostle to the Apostles" - your post reminded me of that :).

[historically accurate]

I was baptized as an infant in a Methodist church. My parents left that denomination shortly after I was born, and I was raised Pentecostal Charismatic. We attended that church until I went away to boarding school. 

DH was raised Baptist. 

We chose a non-denominational evangelical church after we got married. I stopped going about 4-5 years ago and no longer consider myself a Christian. DH is still a Christian, but is not currently attending any church. 

[Ali in OR]

Raised in an Episcopal church that became Anglican when that split happened (10-20 years ago now????). Married dh who was raised in the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod and have been a member of LCMS churches since then. And our current church shares its building with a very small Anglican congregation, though I have never attended one of their services. 

[Lecka]

I have a strong Baptist background, but my parents got divorced and I ended up going to a non-denominational church (a Baptist kind of nondenominational church, or a Willow Creek kind of nondenominational church).  
 

Then I attended military chapel and we had whatever chaplain was preaching that day, whatever denomination that was.  We went to Protestant services.  
 

Then I tried Baptist churches and didn’t find one that was good for us, a lot of this was because at the time I thought I could find the right church for my husband.  I didn’t realize my husband wasn’t going to find “the right church” at that time.

 

Then I decided to just really try something new, and tried a Congregationalist UCC church.  
 

Then we moved and went to a Methodist church.  
 

Then we moved again, and attend a Methodist church.  It is my church home.  
 

In the meantime, my mom is also Methodist, and my sister is figuring things out.  She had been at a nondenominational church that her husband really likes, and her older daughter thrived there through high school.  She is currently taking my Dad to his church (a nondenominational church) but she wouldn’t go there without him.  She likes it, though.

 

And my husband has an Independent Fundamentalist Baptist background, and has been pretty alienated from church.  His specific church had a lot of problems that I think were specific to that specific church, but he has thought for years “all churches are that way.”  Like — things like shunning people, hypocrisy, favoritism (based on how much money people were tithing, including based on income), misogyny, etc. 

 

He is supportive of me and wants to go to church with me, but he often doesn’t like to go and he also has a hard time sitting and listening — he gets antsy.  This is an issue for him in general, it’s not just with church.  He is making an effort to go with me recently, and he’s involved with a volunteer activity through our church.  

 

[HSmomof2]

Raised Lutheran, though we didn’t attend often after I was about 10 due to a falling out between my dad and the church leadership. Dated a Catholic all through high school and most of college and attended Mass with his family. Later met DH, who was raised Catholic but attending a nondenominational church. We’ve always attended church since we’ve been married, one LCMS that we loved but closed when it could no longer pay for its building. Then a variety of nondenominational churches. Dc were both baptized and had First communion at the LCMS church. 
Like many, we’ve become pretty disillusioned and feel lost since the pandemic and the nationalist vibe that’s taken over so many churches. The church we were attending pre-Covid closed permanently early in the pandemic. We watched various services online for 2 years because pretty much no church in our area were following any type of Covid precautions and were very anti-vax and anti-mask. Except the local Catholic Church. We have attended Mass fairly frequently. The issue we’re dealing with now, is that for a variety of reasons, DH and I are seriously considering converting to Catholicism (DH would just be returning, he was confirmed as a teen). We’re both going to attend the RCIA classes this fall. The difficulty is with our dc, who are young adults but living at home attending college (ds 20, and dd almost 18). They consider themselves Christians but are very disgusted by what they’ve seen in the church over the last few years. They both adamantly have said they will not be Catholic. They are willing to attend Mass occasionally, but that’s it. DH and I are struggling because we feel like we’re “ditching” them, even though they are young adults and will have to make these decisions themselves. In our area, truly the only choices are the Catholic Church or a few denominational and nondenominational, very MAGA, nationalist, anti-vax, etc type congregations. We have visited all of them over the last year looking for a new church home. Only the Catholics seem to have not fallen into that craziness here. 

[Lady Florida.]

4 hours ago, Xahm said:

I like the humility of the UMC position of saying there are many possible ways of viewing things.

I did like that about the UMC when we were going to church.

[mommyoffive]

Grew up nothing.  Never went to church with my family.  Once in a while someone would read out of the bible on Christmas, but it wasn't ever part of any of my family that I grew up around.  None of my extended family in my state ever went to church.

I am still nothing.  I do not believe in organized religion at all.  I also do not believe in God.

Edited September 5, 2022 by mommyoffive

[Terabith]

10 hours ago, Laura Corin said:

I was brought up by atheist but not anti-theist parents. I went to a mildly Church of England primary school and a mildly non-denominational protestant senior school.  

I briefly chose to pray to a beech tree as a child. I've not had a faith since.

You were a baby Druid!!   That’s adorable!

[J-rap]

I was raised in lovely, loving ELCA Lutheran church. 

I never considered myself "Lutheran," though -- I was a Christian.

We've never felt that we had to attend only Lutheran churches, so over the years we've attended lots of different churches and explored a variety of denominations.  I guess we kept looking for a church that peeled away all the layers of things that seemed like more of a distraction, and focused instead on just loving God and other people, acknowledging everyone's worth, treating our earth lovingly... and welcomes science and common sense.  My dh and I have always been on the same page so this is a journey we've shared together, thankfully.

We finally found that church, and I feel like I've found the church "home" that I've been looking for all my life.  It's a non-denominational, anabaptist-leaning church.  Since then, I've learned there are actually lots of churches like this one!  

I will add that I've never based my belief in a loving God on actual Christians in culture.  I've never really understood doing that.  If I did that, I probably would have walked away from my faith a long time ago.

[knitgrl]

I was raised Unitarian Universalist. When I was 15, I read The Road to Damietta by Scott O'Dell, about St. Francis of Assisi. (Btw, it is not one of his best works.) It made a very strong impression on me, as in, THAT's what Christianity should look like! The local UU congregation could not conceive of anything positive to say about Christianity...so I ended up at the Episcopalian church when my oldest was still a baby. I was there for 11 yrs, when the local congregation was having some issues that just left me sad and depressed every Sunday, which gave me a clue that something wasn't quite right. Ended up at the Catholic Church because of St. Francis.

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

I have been a Christian for over fifty years ever since I believed that the gospel message was true and applied to me. I have belong to many churches and have ministered in many ways without regard to denomination. I do look for a certain adherence  in doctrinal teaching to what used to be called “the fundamentals “ as opposed to secondary issues. I am not what has now been called a Fundamentalist.
 

I believe that the Bible is the inerrant Word of God (and before someone scolds me again for using these words to refer to the Bible, I believe that the Bible is the written message and this phrase is correct). I believe that God is real and that the Bible correctly lays out His attributes, His plan and His desires. I desire to follow Him as my creator and savior. 
 

I see nothing of Christian nationalism in the Bible’s teaching- instead our kingdom is in heaven. I married a likeminded believer who is a pastor. I believe in sharing the gospel message but not pushing it on people. I prefer teaching that is expository verse by verse teaching and fortunately that’s how my dh teaches. It’s also how I teach. Both of us also teach principles that we believe the Bible teaches but we leave application between the person and God the Holy Spirit. 
 

Raising a family has been a tightrope in some ways because I do believe that it’s my job to present what I believe is real and true to my children. But I don’t believe in coercion or manipulation. I believe in stating our beliefs and letting people decide. It doesn’t change how we treat people- as valuable individuals made in the Image of God. (Though I also believe that I have a sinful nature and that shows up from time to time in my dealings with people. So I am not some perfect reflection of God.). 

[Ditto]

ELCA Lutheran.   I absolutely love my very liberal, very inclusive, very accepting of everyone church.   I have finally found the church that I spent my life searching for.   It is filled with the most wonderful caring people.

[MercyA]

I should probably add that my husband attends a Brethren in Christ (BIC) church and I would attend with him if not for my daughter's friendships at my current church. I agree heartily with their teachings. They are pro-peace, pro-refugee, pro-life, pro-science, pro-public health. They teach in an expository way (through the Bible, verse by verse). They are kind and accepting and giving. They are an Anabapist / Mennonite denomination. 

The Brethren Church across the street from them is...not good. Publicly nasty towards other denominations, among other things.

There are quite a few very different denominations with "Brethren" in their name. 

Edited September 5, 2022 by MercyA

[YaelAldrich]

I grew up in a independent fundamentalist Baptist church.  My mom (Korean immigrant) went to a Korean UMC church and since my sister and I didn't speak Korean she felt we would be better off in an American church.  SO she put us on a church bus.  My dad (Black American) worked on Sundays so didn't have a church home.  I moved to a SBC when I moved to boarding high school.  But throughout it all I had doubts about Jesus.  Never G-d.  

In high school I started dating a kid whose father was agnostic/atheist and mother Reform Jew.  He barely went to synagogue; only high holidays, not even a bar mitzvah.  I started to study about Judaism and it clicked.  Belief and actions in a religion!  But he wasn't interested it at all.

Fast forward to college.  I converted to Reform Judaism and then considered rabbinical school.  But I met a family new to the local Jewish community who was starting an Orthodox synagogue.  I started going.  I convinced my now fiancé to come because the rabbi collected comic books and he said he could read them all Shabbos (Sabbath).  Lo and behold he pulled his head out of the comic books enough to see that an Orthodox Jewish lifestyle might be a good thing.  

So after an Orthodox Jewish wedding and him finishing a master's, we moved to Israel to go to yeshiva to shore up our Jewish knowledge.  We did outreach to Jewish college students during our time in grad school and after.  My husband became an ordained rabbi.

We are still Orthodox Jews.  Our two oldest kids are no longer observant and would not call themselves Jews anymore.  Our two younger kids are still observant (although my daughter only comes to synagogue to lead the youth services for pay).  Having two children leave the fold changed us because it is very looked down upon to have children like that.  COVID and the extreme lack of regard for it in the synagogue we attended for over ten years caused us to leave there and wander a while to find a synagogue to join.  We have joined one but it is barely holding on and we don't feel that connected to it other than it is the one that is most liberal and COVID cautious.

Edited September 5, 2022 by YaelAldrich

[Guest]

13 hours ago, hjffkj said:

Raised Catholic, practiced as an adult up until 2 years ago. Struggling to give a s* now. 

I hope it doesn’t bother you that I laughed. This is just such a funny framework, though! 

[sbgrace]

I was raised Free Methodist and my husband Presbyterian. We met through a non-denom. evangelical church in college. We were initially invited to that church by friends. 

There are no churches or denominations without issues and positions that do not match "our" beliefs (mine/my husbands and/or our shared beliefs). I have still found it worthwhile to have community, as long as there is over-all health. 

When first married, we were involved in an Evangelical Free Church. It was a good experience--loving congregation with good connections with a wide range of people. That church allowed for freedom of belief in many areas. We were only there two years. I have fond memories. 

We moved and became members of a Nazarene church. This was our only adult formal membership experience. We had the most organized involvement in that church--served on committees, taught classes, involved in kids and youth programming, husband was church teasuerer, etc.  We had personal connections with people from all kinds of age and life cycle groups. I think that level of involvement was mostly an age and stage of life thing. It was not the most aligned with our own beliefs or anything like that. We were there for 15 years. Toward the end of that time period we also participated in a house church related to mennonite situation that, in retrospect, probably had too much baggage/unhealth involved.

Then we moved again about 10 years ago and are Free Methodist. (This denomination is similar to Wesleyan and Nazarene in doctrine).

We are involved in smaller ways here but, over-all, I don't feel connected in this church. We would have had to be very proactive and kind of push into existing relationships and structures to get relational spiritual connections here I think. That just doesn't fit my personality, and our lives here haven't had margin to do that even if I were inclined. That may have been true in any church. It may be mostly an issue of me at this point in my life. At any rate, I've been kind of spiritually lonely. 

Edited September 5, 2022 by sbgrace

[JustEm]

2 minutes ago, Quill said:

I hope it doesn’t bother you that I laughed. This is just such a funny framework, though! 

Doesn't bother me at all. It might it I felt like I was lost and struggling to come back to my religion. But I'm more on the side of 'why did I waste so much time with it.' If the most devout people I know are also the least compassionate then at a certain point it can't just be a shitty people problem and has to be a religious body problem.

[Hannah]

I was raised in the Dutch Reformed Church.  I don't know what the US equivalent would be.  Traditionally Calvinistic, rather conservative.  Although I went to a government (public) school it was very much influenced by the church and apartheid politics of the era.

I gave up on God and the church after my mother died when I was 18.  I was very much questioning at the time and in retrospect I think that the catalyst to walk away was this huge disappointment that God had let my sisters and me down so badly.  I couldn't trust him anymore.  What was the point of worshipping this deity that was letting the bad stuff happen anyway.  I might as well just try my best to be a decent person and not expect there to be any big plan or anything in return.  

If I have to label myself now it would be secular humanist.

[Osprey]

Growing up, we mostly didn’t attend church. I remember a few months at a non-denominational church when I was late elementary age. Attended Seventh Day Adventist high school (boarding) so attended daily religious services. 
As an adult, attended a few different liberal-leaning Protestant churches. Was baptized as a Catholic a few years ago along with my daughter. There are many aspects of Catholicism that I enjoy and many that I disagree with. I feel that the parts that are truly centered in Christ are worth sticking around for, even when the parts centered around man’s interpretations are trying to drive me out. 
Husband does not identify as Christian or any other religion. He’ll attend with us when there’s something special going on that we ask him to come for.

[Faith-manor]

57 minutes ago, hjffkj said:

Doesn't bother me at all. It might it I felt like I was lost and struggling to come back to my religion. But I'm more on the side of 'why did I waste so much time with it.' If the most devout people I know are also the least compassionate then at a certain point it can't just be a shitty people problem and has to be a religious body problem.

I hear you on that one! Ya. Sigh. I can honestly say that is not why I deconverted, but it does influence how I feel about socializing with religious folk.

[mom2scouts]

I was raised in the United Methodist Church. My family didn't attend, but dropped me off and picked me up at the front door from a young age. I liked church and attended through high school and then found a UMC near my university. DH (also raised in the UMC) and I attended the UMC until the late 1990's when we felt the denomination was becoming too liberal for our beliefs. There were other things we disliked, such as the sermons being more like academic exercises, lack of Bible studies, lack of community, and the fact that the church was quickly aging and we were one of very few young families. We left and went across town to a theologically conservative, non-denominational church a with contemporary worship style and have been there since. It's been interesting because, since our current church opened up again post-Covid, it has been growing really fast and this is not at all a conservative area. 

ETA: Our non-denom church is not Baptist and was started by a pastor who grew up Catholic and went to Catholic school, but says he became a Christian in college.

Edited September 5, 2022 by mom2scouts

[whitestavern]

Both my parents were raised Catholic. When we moved to a small town with one Catholic Church that had a horrible priest they moved to the Protestant church. I enjoyed that, but we moved in high school and I stopped attending any church until I married a devout Catholic. We attended as a family because it was important to him. We tried several churches but sadly whenever there was a priest I connected with, he’d leave shortly after. Once the kids graduated I stopped going (as did they) After 5 years in Catholic school, they were done. I don’t think dd will ever go back, but I could see ds attending if/when he gets married. I’m a C and E now. If a new priest comes along that I like I would consider returning. 

[Bootsie]

Growing up, my family was very active in the United Methodist Church.  I was also encouraged to participate in church activities with friends and relatives who were Baptist, Catholic, Episcopalian, and many other denominations.  As a young adult, I moved to a city where the UMC churches were very different than the one I grew up in.  I found a Presbyterian church that was much more like the UMC I grew up in; many of the members of the church were former UMC members; DH (who had also grown up Methodist) and I were married in the Presbyterian church and our children were baptized there.  Later, we returned to the Methodist church.  In the meantime, I received a masters in Theology at a Catholic university.  Recently, DH and I have moved and have not found a Methodist church that is like we are accustomed to.  We had looked around a lot and had found an Episcopal church we liked, but with all of the disruptions that COVID has brought, we have not joined that church.  We miss having a church home and family.

[Farrar]

Raised Baptist. My mother is an ordained Baptist minister.

Grew up in a lot of Methodist churches as well. My mother considered becoming a Methodist for job reasons but in the end decided not to. But in the meantime, she was children's minister at a Methodist church for a good while so I helped teach Methodist Sunday School as a teen.

Worked in Quaker education for many years and consider the Quakers my spiritual home in many ways, but I don't have a Meeting I attend.

Attended Unitarian church with the kids when they were younger, but fell away from that practice for various reasons. It's just not really who I am.

Dh was raised Roman Catholic and has flirted with every out there Eastern religion under the sun.

[mommyoffive]

2 hours ago, hjffkj said:

Doesn't bother me at all. It might it I felt like I was lost and struggling to come back to my religion. But I'm more on the side of 'why did I waste so much time with it.' If the most devout people I know are also the least compassionate then at a certain point it can't just be a shitty people problem and has to be a religious body problem.

Exactly my experience too.  

[Harriet Vane]

I like to simply call myself Christian--I'm not real thrilled about denominational infighting or finger-pointing. I embrace what the Bible says, and I appreciate many "flavors" of worship traditions that align with biblical belief. That said, my history includes:

--Raised in a non-denominational Bible church

--Also raised with significant Catholic influences. My grandmother left the Catholic church, but my great-grandmother, who I adored, brought us to Mass sometimes and I have relatives who were nuns. I've always been drawn to the high church beauty. When I was having a tough time at our church many years ago, I was grateful to take a break and attend a Catholic church for a season.

--Attended Assemblies of God church through college. Was involved in a campus fellowship at the time that was more of a non-denominational-with-Protestant-leanings group.

--Dabbled with Episcopal for a short time.

--Dh was raised Presbyterian, so we've dabbled there, too.

--Currently EV Free.

[bookbard]

2 hours ago, hjffkj said:

Doesn't bother me at all. It might it I felt like I was lost and struggling to come back to my religion. But I'm more on the side of 'why did I waste so much time with it.' If the most devout people I know are also the least compassionate then at a certain point it can't just be a shitty people problem and has to be a religious body problem.

This was pretty much my journey too. 

[Harriet Vane]

9 hours ago, fairfarmhand said:

I was raised independent fundamentalist baptist. Now we attend a freewill baptist and have drifted away from the more rigid strident And unkind parts of our raising (thank you Jesus) I really do love our new denomination. 

I appreciate how you worded this: ...have drifted away from the more rigid strident and unkind parts of our raising (thank you Jesus)...

The older I get, the more I flee the strident and unkind and the more I embrace a Mr. Rogers-esque ethos of being kind. I appreciate the way Jesus distilled it to two main things in Matthew 22: Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself. Our guiding principle must always be love.

[PronghornD]

I grew up with two very different influences, Christian Reformed and various Pentacostal churches. As a young adult, I added Church of the Nazarene and Presbyterian. As a married adult, I went to Christian Reformed and non-denominational and United Methodist. We moved about a year ago. We didn't want to continue United Methodist, since a denominational split seemed imminent. We also wanted a church that was progressive and fully affirming and inclusive of gay and transgender persons. We ended up at the United Church of Christ. I like their lack of belief requirements and their deep concern for social justice. We tried two different congregations and found both to be full of thoughtful Christians who took their faith seriously. We may fit in better here than in any other place we have worshiped.

[Harriet Vane]

3 hours ago, sbgrace said:

I was raised Free Methodist and my husband Presbyterian. We met through a non-denom. evangelical church in college. We were initially invited to that church by friends. 

There are no churches or denominations without issues and positions that do not match "our" beliefs (mine/my husbands and/or our shared beliefs). I have still found it worthwhile to have community, as long as there is over-all health. 

When first married, we were involved in an Evangelical Free Church. It was a good experience--loving congregation with good connections with a wide range of people. That church allowed for freedom of belief in many areas. We were only there two years. I have fond memories. 

We moved and became members of a Nazarene church. This was our only adult formal membership experience. We had the most organized involvement in that church--served on committees, taught classes, involved in kids and youth programming, husband was church teasuerer, etc.  We had personal connections with people from all kinds of age and life cycle groups. I think that level of involvement was mostly an age and stage of life thing. It was not the most aligned with our own beliefs or anything like that. We were there for 15 years. Toward the end of that time period we also participated in a house church related to mennonite situation that, in retrospect, probably had too much baggage/unhealth involved.

Then we moved again about 10 years ago and are Free Methodist. (This denomination is similar to Wesleyan and Nazarene in doctrine).

We are involved in smaller ways here but, over-all, I don't feel connected in this church. We would have had to be very proactive and kind of push into existing relationships and structures to get relational spiritual connections here I think. That just doesn't fit my personality, and our lives here haven't had margin to do that even if I were inclined. That may have been true in any church. It may be mostly an issue of me at this point in my life. At any rate, I've been kind of spiritually lonely. 

I appreciate how well you stated this: There are no churches or denominations without issues and positions that do not match "our" beliefs (mine/my husbands and/or our shared beliefs). I have still found it worthwhile to have community, as long as there is over-all health. 

I've been kind of spiritually lonely too, mostly because I live in an area that is awash with Christian Nationalism and anti-covid stuff, which keeps us somewhat isolated. I keep longing for the group I had in college. 

[kbutton]

52 minutes ago, Harriet Vane said:

I appreciate how you worded this: ...have drifted away from the more rigid strident and unkind parts of our raising (thank you Jesus)...

The older I get, the more I flee the strident and unkind and the more I embrace a Mr. Rogers-esque ethos of being kind. I appreciate the way Jesus distilled it to two main things in Matthew 22: Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself. Our guiding principle must always be love.

I am trying to figure out how to love but correct when I am attacked for any kind of pushback on conspiratorial thinking. Love without truth has its issues, and I don't always know how to be loving when the wolves circle or when the person sharing conspiracies is in a place to know better but chooses to lead astray. It's not loving to not oppose, but...sigh. I just don't know. 

[LMD]

Raised with no religion.

Became a Christian. Dh became a Christian as a child, with his family. Not currently attending a church for a variety of reasons. Our faith is very important to us. We tend towards independent baptist types, but we'll go where there's good teaching and honest people. 

I haven't participated in the teens thread, but we try to live our faith and expect our children to come to their own decisions.

[regentrude]

Grew up Christian (Lutheran) in a communist country where that was barely tolerated.
Could not reconcile existence of God with question of suffering and stopped believing in any deity.
IF you want a label: atheist. I don't like the label much because I do not like to define myself through what I do NOT believe in. 

[dirty ethel rackham]

Born and raised Catholic.  Went to Catholic grade school, but public high school.  My older siblings all went to the Catholic High School.  Going to mass was very important to my parents and they were very involved in the parish.  I thought of my parents as devout.  But as I grew up, I realized that this involvement was mostly social.  At home, we said Grace before meals.  My parents may have had other practices in the home, but I think many of those withered away due to the reality of raising 6 kids, and 4 of whom were teens in the late 60s, early 70s.  As an adult, I encountered people who lived a more Catholic lifestyle at home - family rosary time, May altars, memorizing prayers I had never heard of, lots of knowledge about saints I had never even heard of.  I hated our parish (later learned that we seemed to be the dumping ground for lots of abusing priests!) and was falling away until I attended college and saw a congregation full of life and hope.  They were there not out of duty, but out of a desire to be there.  

In my post college life, I stopped attending church and was pretty angry at God.  I was starting my lifelong battle with depression at this point.  I met dh, a good Catholic boy who would go home early (ish - early by mid-20s behavior) so he could go to early Mass.  Eventually I started going to Mass  with him.  I spent the next 20+ years trying to be a good Catholic and trying to raise my kids in the faith.   

I'd say most of my siblings are either agnostic or atheist.  I have a brother who sent his kids to Catholic school and now his grandkids go as well, but he doesn't have a spiritual bone in his body.  I think his choice was less about faith and more about not having to hob-knob with the riff-raff.  I have a sister who married an anti-Catholic "Christian."  They attended a Methodist church for a while, but I don't know what they are doing now.  

8 hours ago, DinCO said:

I was raised in a very devout RC family and was part of the Charismatic Catholic movement in the 80’s.  Attended a small female only Catholic college and continued to practice.   Attended church regularly and both of my children have received sacraments of Baptism, First Communion and Confirmation.  Stopped attending when eldest came out as Trans and I had difficulty sorting my feelings and support of DD and teachings of the church.  I still feel Catholic and believe but am not currently attending church.

I lost my church community when my middle child came out trans.  I struggle with church teachings and the attitude of the UCCB.  I think the community we had when my kids were younger would have been much more accepting, but we started getting pastors and associates who were either weak (caving to the fervently anti LGBT faction) or were fervently Trumpsters before there was a Trump.  It just wasn't home anymore. We tried going to other parishes in the area, but things have changed.  Most of the Catholic churches in our area were pretty progressive and held to the idea of living the faith through love of neighbor and helping the "least" among us.  But that seems to be changing.  Lots more legalism and "bootstrap" thinking creeping back in.

4 hours ago, hjffkj said:

Doesn't bother me at all. It might it I felt like I was lost and struggling to come back to my religion. But I'm more on the side of 'why did I waste so much time with it.' If the most devout people I know are also the least compassionate then at a certain point it can't just be a shitty people problem and has to be a religious body problem.

That is what I found in our local Catholic and Christian homeschool groups.  We found a home in a non-sectarian homeschool community and I met so many non-religious people who were the most loving, moral, "Christlike" people I have ever met.

1 hour ago, Harriet Vane said:

I appreciate how you worded this: ...have drifted away from the more rigid strident and unkind parts of our raising (thank you Jesus)...

The older I get, the more I flee the strident and unkind and the more I embrace a Mr. Rogers-esque ethos of being kind. I appreciate the way Jesus distilled it to two main things in Matthew 22: Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself. Our guiding principle must always be love.

This is what I had hoped I would find in a community of believers. 

I have to say that the biggest stumbling block for me is suffering.  The ostracization I experienced after K's mental health issues came to light (as well as being trans) made me very angry and resentful.  I was suffering greatly - constant fear for K's safety, loss of community, loss of identity.  And I knew that my suffering wasn't anything special.  K's experiences has opened my "suburban bubble" eyes to the reality of suffering in this world ... the reality of poverty, harsh living conditions, injustice, the devastation that mental illness creates not just for the ill person but for everyone who loves them.   This makes me really question whether or not I can love a god who either creates this or allows it to happen.   When I do go to mass, it is usually early because they are often much shorter.  The one thing I like about weekend shifts is that I don't have time to go to church.

[Storygirl]

I was raised in the United Methodist Church. My mother was a church-goer (not really a religious person, however), and my Dad is not. When I began to have a personal relationship with Jesus in my late teens, my parents thought I was weird.

I found my church home in my late twenties -- a nondenominational Reformed Protestant church -- and met my husband there. After twenty years, we moved away, and since then have attended a Baptist church, which generally aligns with my theology, though I don't think of myself as Baptist. I miss my old church and have started listening to a podcast of that pastor's sermons. My current church has provided a loving community of friends, but the sermons and worship time do not feed my soul and mind the way that my previous church does.

DH and I have been really heartbroken over the church's (church in general) responses during the pandemic.

[Ellie]

Catholic Christian now, but long ago I was a member of a Wesleyan church in El Cajon, California. That's where Mr. Ellie and I met and were married. ❤️

[Momto6inIN]

I was raised in a variety of mainstream Protestant churches (baptized Presbyterian, confirmed Methodist, attended both Lutheran and Baptist services sometimes), none of which were really central to my parents' lives in any way that I could see. It was just something you did because it's what "good people" do on Sunday mornings when they didn't have anything better to do. Then we stopped going when I was a young teen - maybe 14? I think my parents had a falling out wrt something to do with church politics, I'm not sure. I was fine to not be going anymore. I was a "good person" on the outside to my parents and their friends but I was actually just a really rebellious wild young thing and really good at lying and hiding it 😉 

In college, I had what I now know was a born again experience, although I didn't have the spiritual vocabulary at the time to realize that's what was happening to me. The only people I knew at the time who were serious about their faith were Catholics and so I started going to Mass with them, even though I was pretty sure that only "good" people were allowed in church and the door might cave in on me when I walked in. Eventually I took RCIA classes and became a Catholic.

When I met my DH he told me he was raised as an Apostolic Christian and I heard "Christian" and was thrilled to have met a good Christian man. (As a non-cradle Catholic, marrying a non-Catholic was not a big deal to me like it was for many of my Catholic friends.) At that point I'd never heard of the Apostolic Christian Church and didn't know that I was marrying into an Anabaptist faith that looks a lot like Mennonites and the Amish LOL! DH was raised in this faith but had never been baptized or claimed it as his own faith.

We attended both churches for a while after we were married, but when we had kids we realized it would be too confusing to try to do both. So we prayed about it and God really made it clear to me that He wanted me to be a part of the Aposotolic Christian Church. It has been a difficult adjustment in many respects but I've also been abundantly blessed by choosing to be a part of such a tight knit community of believers ❤️

 

Edited September 6, 2022 by Momto6inIN

[ktgrok]

My parents were both Episcopal, and I was baptized and attended preschool at the local Episcopal church. But my mom worked weekends when we were little (nurse, worked weekends to stay home with us during the week) and Dad was not and is not a church goer, so we only really went on holidays. Pretty much all my friends that came from religious families were Catholic or Jewish, and I likely had more influence from attending with them than anything. 

As an adult I was confirmed in the same Episcopal church I was baptized at, but later moved and couldn't find an Episcopal church that fit. I ended up going through RCIA and joining the Catholic church. Went back and forth between Catholic and Episcopal over the years, but for various reasons ended up sticking with Episcopal until Covid hit. At that point I started looking at who was taking the most precautions, and found a local United Church of Christ (UCC) church that was handling things better than anyone else, and doing it with joy rather than complaints. 

We gave them a try, and have never felt more at home in a church family than we do here. I NEVER have to say to my kids, "well, I know they said XYX, but a lot of people, including me, think ABC" or whatever. The congregation is open and truly affirming of EVERYONE - gay, straight, trans, white, black, man, woman, etc. They feel everyone is on their own journey, and they are just happy if you let them be part of it - however that works for you. My non religious husband LOVES this place.

I love that the focus is on "how can we look to Jesus to inform our own actions, how can be be more Christlike on our interactions with each other?" and NOT on "how can we save our souls" which always felt so...self absorbed, I guess. The services are traditional in that there are readings from the Revised Common Lectionary, with a shortish sermon based on the readings. There are traditional hymns, the building is traditional, etc. But at the same time prayers use inclusive language, hymns do as well, there is a huge rainbow flag and statements about social and environmental justice. Our angel tree partner is a homeless shelter for LGBTQ youth. So...traditional in style but progressive in belief and actions. 

It also has an amazing youth group. 

And about 8 months after we started attending, one of my children tentatively came out as non hetero, and I was SO grateful we were already in a church community where that was not an issue, where no one would bat an eye, and my child would feel safe and affirmed no matter what. I can't see us leaving, although if we say, moved or something, I'd be open to a progressive Episcopal parish. But our UCC community here is so full of intellectuals and open minded people and love that it's impossible to walk away from. 

[Ditto]

8 hours ago, ktgrok said:

My parents were both Episcopal, and I was baptized and attended preschool at the local Episcopal church. But my mom worked weekends when we were little (nurse, worked weekends to stay home with us during the week) and Dad was not and is not a church goer, so we only really went on holidays. Pretty much all my friends that came from religious families were Catholic or Jewish, and I likely had more influence from attending with them than anything. 

As an adult I was confirmed in the same Episcopal church I was baptized at, but later moved and couldn't find an Episcopal church that fit. I ended up going through RCIA and joining the Catholic church. Went back and forth between Catholic and Episcopal over the years, but for various reasons ended up sticking with Episcopal until Covid hit. At that point I started looking at who was taking the most precautions, and found a local United Church of Christ (UCC) church that was handling things better than anyone else, and doing it with joy rather than complaints. 

We gave them a try, and have never felt more at home in a church family than we do here. I NEVER have to say to my kids, "well, I know they said XYX, but a lot of people, including me, think ABC" or whatever. The congregation is open and truly affirming of EVERYONE - gay, straight, trans, white, black, man, woman, etc. They feel everyone is on their own journey, and they are just happy if you let them be part of it - however that works for you. My non religious husband LOVES this place.

I love that the focus is on "how can we look to Jesus to inform our own actions, how can be be more Christlike on our interactions with each other?" and NOT on "how can we save our souls" which always felt so...self absorbed, I guess. The services are traditional in that there are readings from the Revised Common Lectionary, with a shortish sermon based on the readings. There are traditional hymns, the building is traditional, etc. But at the same time prayers use inclusive language, hymns do as well, there is a huge rainbow flag and statements about social and environmental justice. Our angel tree partner is a homeless shelter for LGBTQ youth. So...traditional in style but progressive in belief and actions. 

It also has an amazing youth group. 

And about 8 months after we started attending, one of my children tentatively came out as non hetero, and I was SO grateful we were already in a church community where that was not an issue, where no one would bat an eye, and my child would feel safe and affirmed no matter what. I can't see us leaving, although if we say, moved or something, I'd be open to a progressive Episcopal parish. But our UCC community here is so full of intellectuals and open minded people and love that it's impossible to walk away from. 

Oh your new church (UCC) sounds so much like my Lutheran church.  The focus is the same--all of the things you mentioned.  Isn't it such a blessing to find such a warm wonderful church?  It is sad to me that these kinds of churches/church communities are few and far between.   We are both very fortunate to have found them.

[ktgrok]

1 hour ago, Ditto said:

Oh your new church (UCC) sounds so much like my Lutheran church.  The focus is the same--all of the things you mentioned.  Isn't it such a blessing to find such a warm wonderful church?  It is sad to me that these kinds of churches/church communities are few and far between.   We are both very fortunate to have found them.

Yes, we really are. 

And what is crazy is we have room for more at our church, it is not packed or anything, and I hear so many say they wish churches were like this.. I want to somehow help them find this place, but on the other hand, I do not go around pushing church/religion. And I know there ARE other churches like this, as well, but if you don't know how/what to look for (and often even if you do) you can get so burnt out trying different churches that you never stumble across one that actually is what you are looking for. 

 

[annandatje]

I was born atheist and will die one.  I'm firmly convinced that deities do not exist but were created by man to cope with uncertainty of an indifferent universe to and to feel significant.  In early elementary school, I was surprised to learn that adults literally believed Bible stories.  Most people around me were religious.

I've never seen any objectively consistent and reliable evidence for existence of deities.  There are many religions in world, and most of them claim to have a monopoly on the truth.  Most religious people would be same  person if they suddenly lost their faith.

I still attend bar and bat mitzvahs, weddings and funerals in churches and synagogues because I love the people involved.  

[KungFuPanda]

On 9/5/2022 at 2:02 AM, Loowit said:

I have always just considered myself as a Protestant.  I was raised in a non-denominational church, and visited my grandparents Nazarene church several times a year.  Since getting married I have been part of several non-denominational churches, a Christian and Missionary Alliance church, Free Methodist church, Inter-denominational church, and a house church.  We are currently churchless, but looking at possibilities again cautiously.  My parents just started attending church again after all the covid fiasco, and have found a place they are happy.  It is non-denominational, but associated with a Free Methodist church.  I am thinking about trying the associated church which is close to us.

My middle kid asked me recently what he should put for his denomination on his paperwork for the military.  I wasn't sure what to tell him.  He couldn't just put Protestant, which is what we usually say.  I mentioned a few of the denominations we have attended, but I am not sure what he ended up putting.  He has been attending church services at the bases he as been at.  Most of them have been Southern Baptist, but I am not sure what the current one is.

When I was in the military 100 years ago, you could choose “Christian no denomination”

On 9/5/2022 at 7:14 AM, fairfarmhand said:

I was raised independent fundamentalist baptist. Now we attend a freewill baptist and have drifted away from the more rigid strident And unkind parts of our raising (thank you Jesus) I really do love our new denomination. 

Do you listen to the Leaving Eden podcast?  They talk about so much I had forgotten. I actually grew up in a super fundy culture, but not IFB. My whole extended family on my father’s side was Church of God. It’s an Evangelical pentecostal denomination, so I’ve seen some stuff. 
 

I married a cradle catholic and converted. We are currently fairly lapsed. My dd’s husband was raised Baptist (how? I moved to a blue state and everything!) but she is corrupting him with wine and choral music. 

[J-rap]

3 minutes ago, KungFuPanda said:

When I was in the military 100 years ago, you could choose “Christian no denomination”

I think most of the time if I'm asked to check a choice on some form, "Christian" is still listed -- usually after all of the denominations.  I always just check "Christian" and am glad that's an option.

[fairfarmhand]

7 minutes ago, KungFuPanda said:

se “Christian no denomination”

Do you listen to the Leaving Eden podcast?  They talk about so much I had forgotten. I actually grew up in a super fundy culture, but not IFB. My whole extended family on my father’s side was Church of God. It’s an Evangelical pentecostal denomination, so I’ve seen some stuff. 
 

 

 

Yes, I've listened to Leaving Eden. I don't listen all the time because I don't need to dwell on all of that. We still have family members in fundy land and  it kinda makes my head spin and I have to bite my tongue from time to time. 

I was just telling my dh and kids that I knew people at churches who had reservations about the song "Father Abraham" (had many sons, and many sons had father abraham...) where you swung your arms and stamped your feet and stuff because it was too close to dancing.