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annandatje

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Everything posted by annandatje

  1. I know several people who *think* they had covid before covid was a thing. As for whether they truly had covid, I have no idea.
  2. We inherited care of my husband's intellectually disabled brother who had lived with mother until she unexpectedly developed septicemia during routine surgery and died. It was rough first few years when we tried to involve the other five siblings to care for him part of year and frankly the constant change would not have been good for him. We had to let go of resentment over other siblings not helping out. Thus, he stayed with us, and eventually we found a good placement for him in agency-supervised living with a roommate. He is an integral part of our nuclear family as he is over at our h
  3. Do not give them unsolicited advice or make comments about them being "woke." In fact, if they do ask for advice, you may say," You have a good strong mind, and I'm sure you will come with a reasonable solution to your problem." Their behavior does not strike me as uncommon for their age group. Do not expect them to return texts or calls promptly. Even if you consider their responses to the situation as hysterical, would you truly want someone else telling you how should feel about a situation or judging your response to be hysterical? Acknowledge that the situation must be stressful for t
  4. Has daughter been screened for ADD? My son, who was disgustingly messy, was diagnosed and medicated for ADD at age 31. Now his apartment is neat and tidy and stays that way. It can indeed make a world of difference. As for how I handled it when he lived at home, I wanted to be happy, so I had to let it go. However, I insisted he keep his bedroom door closed, not bring his messiness into common living areas and not do anything that would permanently devalue my property.
  5. One generally has to delve into details about these situations because media tends to hyperfocus on the alleged silliness of it all. Remember the coverage of the McDonald's coffee case? People were up in arms that a woman had audacity to sue because her coffee was hot. However, she suffered substantial burns and had to have skin grafts. At the time, McDonald's coffee was served at about 40 degrees less than boiling point! I feel a great deal of sympathy for the Gorilla glue lady being our temporary laughingstock and criticism target. I, too, have unintentionally misused a produc
  6. Some states allow children of decedent to claim an elective share, so, yes, she can make potentially make trouble if she is in applicable state and is familiar with the law herself or seeks legal advice. Her father can pass an inheritance to her via trust if she is a spendthrift or if she receives government benefits that are asset or income based. One of my clients had a falling out with one of her grandchildren and disinherited him in both her will and in a life insurance trust. Subsequently they reconciled but she failed to update terms of will and insurance trust. Thus, when sh
  7. I strongly believe that anyone who has reached age of reason should have autonomy over their own body even if I think they are a lunatic for not getting Covid vaccine. If you do not want your children around unvaccinated adult relatives, I see no other option at this juncture than to have a brief honest discussion with your parents explaining why the kids can or can't visit and let the chips fall where they may. Your parents need to respect your parenting decisions regardless of whether they agree with them. However, I always wonder ..... how far would one take that? Do people ro
  8. As a person who sometimes has trouble interpreting tone of voice, I tend to listen closely and focus on words. The words "watch out" or "watch yourself" would not seem friendly to me since I probably would not recognize the cheeriness in your voice. I know you didn't ask but what I say in those situations is usually something like "oops we almost had a collision." As for her complaining about it to her companion, well, that is unnecessary and whiny in my opinion.
  9. If deed named children as owner after father's death, there would be no spousal exemption for what passes to children. However, Scarlett has stated that total estate was under $500K so there would be no estate tax even if nothing passed to spouse. The current exemption of $11.7 million is for 2021 deaths only so would not apply to the father's estate. Exemption is adjusted annually for inflation, and is set to drop back to $5M adjusted for inflation after 2025 unless Congress extends the generous exemption.
  10. How much money are you talking about in royalties from minerals? Attorney fees may outweigh whatever royalty payments would have been. If not, then yes indeed the adult children need an attorney. The plaintiffs will have case against "landman" or against mother/stepmother for taking what was rightfully theirs for 34 years although you stated that at least some of the children "signed off" on those conditions. Re: estate taxes. If decedent died 34 years ago, the federal lifetime exemption was $500,000 at his death. Thus, if the fair market value of his assets at death exceeded $500,0
  11. No, I have not felt jealousy because of my children's relationships with each other. In fact, I celebrate that they are quite close to one another and turn to each other in times of need, nor do I feel envious of relationship they have with my sister. The wider a person's support network is, the better chance they have of making it through tough times intact. I do not want to hijack thread so I may start another thread about an interesting observation that some parents are jealous of what their children achieve and attempt to minimize their accomplishments.
  12. No, it is not healthy to exclude your daughter from family events such as upcoming birthday. Sister may invite whomever she pleases to her own get-togethers, but she is going a step too far when sister insists your daughter not attend event sister is attending. Essentially your sister is trying to cut your daughter off from her beloved extended family. That is a no go.
  13. Yes, it still happens but not on any regular schedule. My husband's work schedule is rather unpredictable, and during my busy season at work, I cannot handle obligations other than work and family emergencies. It helps that husband and I are homebodies and introverts, so we may not need quite as much date time as some other couples.
  14. We did not have specified date nights pre or post covid. Not interested in having one more obligation.
  15. My guess is that the employee was upset because, while employer has appropriate covid policies, they may not be enforced. Of course, you are doing all you can at your end. You're not the covid police.
  16. My personal preference is flat style because they are more flexible. I do use the glove style once in a while because kids gave them to me as gift years ago.
  17. I had a rare aggressive breast cancer and currently am NED (no evidence of disease) although treatment caused other serious health issues. During treatment, my firm and friends helped out with meals. My one daughter who still lives in city helped us out a great deal. She handled laundry and dry cleaners and did other chores and errands for me. Of course, my husband was big help. So sorry your friend's marriage is not a source of comfort to her; that makes things tougher. The one thing I could have used help with was housecleaning because our house cleaners quit years ago and I had never
  18. I thought it was against board rules to change user name. Anyway, I just dropped in because I was wondering how a post asking where online to find coverage of coup had ten pages when all major news sites feature the stories.
  19. My only covid19 goal is to be informed by qualified scientists or doctors, not politicians. My primary source of information is CDC and my local public health department. Have watched very little tv news coverage and *generally* do not read the covid threads here since they tend to be in-depth discussions that delve further into issue than I care to. Knowing and exercising the basics of social distancing, mask wearing, avoiding travel and going to stores only for essentials is all I can do to avoid covid19, so I do not unduly stress about covid19 or any updates on it since it is beyond my c
  20. Original poster, could you set up another facebook account to use solely for the DDPY group you mentioned? Another idea would be to snooze all friends for 30 days or simply unfriend everyone, so you do not see the frustrating posts.
  21. Two of my children have gender neutral names although people of USA may not consider the younger child's name as gender neutral. Having a gender neutral first name came in handy for older of the two because he realized he was transgender (ftm) early on. Thus, the only name change required was his middle name, which he changed from my mother's first name to his father's first name.
  22. What a clever idea for Christmas gift.
  23. It was the employer's duty to perform a criminal and financial background check before hiring. If employer failed to do so, perhaps employer has policy against background checks. Even though you have stated what this person did was horrible, I would think twice about possibly getting someone fired, particularly if he has a family to support in these chaotic times.
  24. I caution you to NOT purchase family heirlooms unless you get a qualified appraisal and pay the full appraisal price. The appraisal can protect you when there are potential problems down the road with heirs which are highly likely. I have actually been in a deposition where heirs, all of whom were worth at least $5 million prior to receiving their share of decedent's assets, argued over which one should receive a certain item in decedent's vacation home and how much value should be assigned to item. I assume she does not qualify for Medicaid. If you have sufficient funds to help h
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