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  1. At work today a few of the ladies were talking about their weekend plans for the 4th. It is supposed to be a very rainy weekend so everyone is adapting their plans but they are still making plans. Parades, road races, cookouts, etc. When they were all talking about their plans one woman said to me "Tell me you have at least one activity planned!" I know she didn't mean anything by it, but it just made me feel ...... lame. I am looking forward to a LOT of quiet time. I live in a tourist town so it would be easy for me to go downtown and join in some festivities, and I may do that, but then again I may not. Chances are I won't. I plan on resting, reading, working on my crafts, watching movies, etc. I am actually happy the weather will be yucky for a few days. The weather may clear on Monday and Tuesday (which I have off) so I may go to the beach. But that's it. I don't have a big family, I don't have a large circle of friends, and I am good with that. I know, I know, comparison is the death of contentment. I just hate feeling like I should be doing the normal things that everyone else does!
  2. First, hugs to you. I just finished a divorce that dragged on for 4 years. Even now my ex is filing an appeal to our divorce decree. The crying will stop. I remember just sobbing for so long. It was the hardest I have ever cried. But you will stop crying. Everyone here has great advice. I know it is hard right now to think of doing all these things (bank accounts, moving around money, pulling credit reports) when it is hard to even stand up. Try to do what you can. Do not think that by doing nothing you will be appeasing your husband. He has his own plans. Hugs
  3. One time we had friends over who had just come back from a cruise. They were talking about how they took a banana boat ride off the back of a boat. Before I could stop my mouth, I said "off the back of the cruise ship?!" I was so embarrassed! Imagine being towed on an inflatable banana behind a cruise ship!
  4. I will start by saying I am pro-police. My nephew is a police officer. I am NOT pro violence or pro racist or anything like that. There are a lot of bad, very bad cops out there that should be fired. But there are a LOT of really good cops. I saw the video below once, and I think it makes a good point of putting yourself in the shoes of an officer and what it takes to make split second decisions. The title says what it is: "Activist critical of police undergoes use of force scenarios" -- I think it always comes down to this .... walk a mile in someone's shoes (whether it is a police officer or a young black man being a victim of racial profiling) before casting stones. I read a case where a criminal had stolen a taser off of a police officer and was running away. The officer shot him. People were outraged, and said things like "They knew where the criminal lived -- why didn't they just go to his house and get the taser back?!" It's mentality like this that makes me shake my head. You just don't know how you would react or what you would feel until you are the person in the situation. It's a very eye opening video. It shows how quickly things escalate.
  5. Ahhh the days of travel teams ..... My daughter played both travel soccer and travel softball, eventually giving up soccer for softball. Just a few pointers from my day ... be wary of clubs that have A, B and C teams. You pay the same amount, but the A team (and sometimes the B team) get the good coaches, the good practices and the attention of the leaders of the club. The other teams are, I think, there to bring in money while having a parent coach over a real coach. It was not a good experience for us. The good coaches are either tied up with the A team, or are working with the Seniors to try and get them scouts and scholarships. If your child is on the B or C team you may never even see a real coach. Also, some of the club teams can be very hard to get into, and not just due to player's abilities. Once my daughter was on the club softball team, tryouts were just a lot of show. I remember one mother complaining that they even held tryouts because all the same girls get picked and she was right. I knew that my daughter was on the team before tryouts even started. Like anything else, it starts from the top down. We had a great experience with softball, but I do think that a lot of it had to do with the fact that my daughter was on the A team. Better practices, better weekend trips, and believe me, all the kids know who is on what team. The kids on the C team can be really shuttled off to the side and the other kids know it.
  6. My daughters are the ones who requested family counseling. We need to go over past hurts and set guidelines for future interaction.
  7. Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond. I always find advice that helps or clarifies. I guess my frustration comes from the pushback they do give. I tried to talk with them via Skype on Sunday but they were so angry it did not go well. They can be cruel, but I know that is from hurt. I am trying to set up family counseling to help us learn how to communicate better.
  8. My two daughters are driving me crazy .... but more seriously they are breaking my heart. They are 24 and 27. They live together with two other girls in the city about an hour away. I've posted before about how they are "woke" and for some reason that is making everything a mine field! Below is just an example of how things get so derailed lately. My oldest daughter took a two week trip to California. Partly to visit friends and partly to go off on her own and explore. The pictures looked amazing and I could not wait to hear all about it. I texted them I would love to call and chat to catch up and hear about the trip. We were supposed to talk at 4:30. I call at 4:30. No answer. I text to say "answer your phone". I get a text back that says "Hold on a sec. Something came up." So I wait. 30 minutes goes by. Now they text and say "Sorry, something came up with DD2 -- everyone is ok" Of course now I start worrying. I text again "just tell me what is going on" -- this goes back and forth for a while. All the time they took to text things like "hold on" or "something came up" could be used to text the actual reason. Drama on top of drama. I finally find out that someone has been texting my DD2 pretending to be a someone else, a friend she had in college. They texted back and forth about a lot of things, and I guess some of the stuff was personal. I think they were talking about a guy DD2 likes and there was some sexual details that went back and forth. Of course this pretend person then spread the texts around. My DD2 was freaking out so bad she was throwing up. Everybody in the apartment was up in arms. I could sense the 4 of them just ramping this whole thing up. Don't get me wrong .... it's a lousy thing to have happen. But you know what? The same thing happened to her in 8th grade when someone stole her phone, pretended to be her and texted a bunch of guys with sexual advances. 8th grade and new to the school!!! She did NOT freak out anywhere near what she was doing now because I sat her down, told her that this person made a victim out of her but once she knew what was happening she no longer had to be a victim. When we found out the two girls who did it the only resolution I asked for was that DD2 could sit with the two girls and look them in the eye. She said to them "What you did to me was mean. It embarrassed me and it embarrassed you. I have never done anything disrespectful to you and I do not appreciate you seeking me out to disrespect me." I wanted my daughter to learn that you cannot control what mean people do, but you have a VOICE and a PATH to control the situation, confront it and then walk away. But none of this was getting through on text and they would not answer the phone. Then I get a call about 9:00 pm. They want the contact information for my nephew, their cousin, who is a police officer. He is not a police officer in their town. They wanted to get him involved. They contacted my other nephew for the information. It was like there was someone outside their window with a knife and they needed police intervention NOW. I tried to tell them to put out a message on social media saying "if you receive any weird texts it's not from me so ignore it", then to step away from social media for about 48 hours. Cut off the oxygen to the whole thing. It's literally a 2021 version of a prank phone call (I get it's a little more than that but the motivation from the bully is the same. Basically, don't give the pr*ck the satisfaction.) It is not my job as their mother to match their level of hysteria - that does not help anyone. Well, that was it. I was "denying them access to the one person that could help them." I am "minimizing her pain". Everything these days is about being a victim. I always say "you adjust your norm to who you hang around with" .... I think they people they are hanging around with coddle this concept of "I have been victimized! Justice must be done!" Everything is insulting, Every joke is prejudice, every slight is born from someone profiling you or discounting you because you are female, every male has "toxic masculinity". Where are the days when you would just say "Boy, that person is a real JERK so I am going to either tell him to go to hell or just walk away." Everything has to have some deep-seeded motivation that they then wear as a badge. "I have been minimized!!" So I have still not heard about the California trip, or how their jobs are going, or just a simple chat. Now it will be days and days of hurt feelings, demands to be acknowledged, crying about a safe space........ UGH!! Right now the plan is to talk (not text!) on Saturday. I am going to keep my original advice, try to stay cool, and stay my path. It will go badly though. I just want my normal, calm, stable relationship with my daughters back!
  9. And I have already wasted an hour at work on it! 😀 I know I am probably behind the curve, but someone finally explained TikToc to me! I go to their website and ...... BAM! I can watch quick videos of cats and dogs doing funny things (always a lure for me), I can stalk celebrities I love like Henry Cavil and Gordon Ramsay .... the options are endless! Be warned. It is a time sucker! Unless you work all day in front of a computer like me .... then it is a great way to pass the day haha
  10. Cats toy with us. We are at their mercy. I bought a new, bigger bed for my two cats because they were outgrowing their original bed. They go to great lengths to avoid the new bed at all costs. It's like that game "the floor is lava" only the bed is lava. They will jump over it ... push it aside ..... anything not to use it.
  11. Someone once asked which show I would live in if I could, and my immediate answer was The Waltons!!!! I want to be part of their family
  12. Like I have said to the caller, no one has any idea what is happening in other people's houses. Perhaps they tested positive but have informed the people coming in and out. Perhaps the neighbor is wrong and no one in the next door house has COVID. Perhaps they are all family members and they are willing to mingle. I do NOT want to live in a world where someone calls about something I am doing in my house and all of a sudden someone is knocking on my door and questioning me. Can you imagine? "Ma'am, who have you had to your house today? Why were they here? We will need all their names for questioning...." And who does all the checking? The police? The police with a nurse? It quickly would get out of control.
  13. If it is an establishment that is flouting the protocols we can go in and work with them through education, etc. In the case of the law firm their website listed out a whole procedure for doing business (they handle real estate) .. you text when you get to the parking lot, they come out with a clipboard and clean pen, with masks, and handle paperwork that way. After speaking with them and hearing and reading their protocols we were satisfied. I don't think people would be able to make all that stuff up about fogging their offices and cleaning protocols without actually doing all of it. I received two phone calls today from people telling on their neighbors. They state that they know someone in the next door house is COVID positive but they have workers and delivery people going in and out .... that we cannot do anything about. We do not go into private houses for that. And frankly I am shocked at how much neighbor turns on neighbor in this situation. Some people would love nothing more than to be the COVID police and turn people in. They literally want us to PUNISH them. UUgh
  14. I saw a commercial the other day for a local shop that will take your old videos and pictures and put them on a disk or flash drive for you. Only the commercial opens like this: "Do you have old pictures and videos of you at home that are degrading?" Ummmm just pictures from college .... I cleaned up my act after that I swear! Please don't let my Mom see those pictures! 🙂
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