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About LMD

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  1. I have 3 sons too so get off your high horse. The default assumption is that teen boys are into teen boy stuff and don't have the wisdom or experience to parse out age appropriate for little kids nor the impulse control to refrain in their presence. And yeah, some teen boys are sexual predators (of little girls and little boys) and they don't wear labels to that effect. That doesn't mean treating teen boys like lepers, it does mean I'll set the boundaries that I'm comfortable with for my own children - unapologetically. I also won't judge you for where you set yours.
  2. That's not exactly what was said. No one said they can't interact, that's a very not-kind interpretation. No, I wouldn't be comfortable with my 7 year old daughter playing with teen boys unsupervised in another house. Not because I think boys turn into monsters at 13 (I would hope not, I have 3 boys myself) but because 13 year olds are in a very different stage of development and what is appropriate for them (or even inappropriate but accessible and tempting) is not necessarily appropriate for a 7 year old - especially a little girl. I also wanted to touch on the 'they'll be ostracized if they don't play games/watch tv' thing - I disagree. We do have tv/games here, but some of my kids' closest friends don't. Those kids are wonderful, a lot of fun and very popular - and I don't blink at their teen sons playing with my 6 year old. It can be done well, we all learned each other's boundaries - they don't lecture my kids on their clothes (my teen dd can be... rebellious with her clothes choices!) or viewing habits and we don't expect them to violate their conscience and play something my kids like. We all give each other grace and end up having a great time.
  3. Welcome MegaSwan! So, I think that your predicament isn't unusual but yes, it sounds awkward. Firstly, you and your husband obviously have strong convictions about your family culture, and I think that is wonderful and something to stand firm in. It does sound like your expectations might be unusually high, for things like manners, no tv etc, which in and of itself is not a bad thing. These differences in family culture seem so enormous when kids are that little, but they sort of just become less of a big deal as they get bigger and everyone learns everyone else's boundaries. Yes, you can have loving boundaries with these boys in your home, you can kindly spell out the rules, definitely model the sort of manners you expect by continuing to hold your own son to the standard he knows you expect. I would not step over the line by actively parenting them, so "sorry B, but we don't speak like that in our home, please don't do it here again. [Big smile]" <--- fine. Whereas "B, you shouldn't ever speak like that, it is rude and your parents should have taught you better" <--- way over the line, this is judgy and inhospitable. Secondly, I would not be comfortable with my 7 year old playing effectively unsupervised in another house, doubly so with an older/wordlier playmate, x100 for unsupervised internet access. I would unapologetically hold that line. But yes, I could credibly be accused of being overprotective. I would also think about setting precedents, with a younger daughter. In 3 years she'll be 7, her brother will be 10 and these neighbor boys will be 13. No way on earth would I be happy with my 7 year old daughter playing in houses with teen boys, but it will be more difficult to enforce if the boys have had 3 years of it being their normal. With kindness, this awkwardness can be dealt with. Welcome to the next stage of parenting 😄. You can do it!
  4. This just came up in my email, win a signed copy of Station Eleven!
  5. Well, I'm about 6 chapters in on audible and enjoying it a lot. I also ordered unusual chickens, I suspect my boys will love it. You guys are dangerous, keep 'em coming!
  6. I would just drop the social studies completely... what else does it even cover? Okay just looked at the scope and sequences and see that the cle is like geography. If I wanted to keep using both but just wanted to avoid doubling up, I would probably just skip the weather unit in r&s science. Or, you could alternate days, you don't have to do everything every day especially if your child is accelerated.
  7. Maths. I always liked maths in school but was never encouraged that way. Teaching it conceptually is so much fun and so clear.
  8. Grown ass men don't want their mommy to clean up after them. Lecture over. And it's variants, Grown ass men don't need their mommy to nag them to do the right thing, Grown ass men can feed themselves healthy food without mommy's help etc.
  9. LMD


    Ah, see his faith in 'the good people who are wise and always will be' has been shaken, which has a knock on effect, because maybe he can't put his faith in you/dad/stepdad/church people etc. Next, he'll have to reckon with himself, that if these godly and wise people can stuff up, he better be careful, pride goeth before the fall. This is hard but necessary, there is only one Jesus.
  10. I was 2! Great film, we also have it on DVD. My kids think it's weird, they're obviously the weirdos.
  11. LMD


    My bold, they would also get a comment along the lines of "your behaviour suggests you might be more interested in watching shows from the toddler section"
  12. LMD


    THIS! If he wants to be so grown up that he knows best how this complicated situation should go, then he can also be grown up enough to control his anger and arrogance and realise that mom isn't his emotional punching bag. I'm sorry Scarlett. I'm so glad to hear that your husband and exh are sticking up for you. You can't fix the world for him. My daughter was angry at me because she is imperfect and I couldn't give her any easy fixes. I'm like, dear daughter, if I had that magic wand, don't you think I would've used it on myself a long time ago?! She's angry with me but she's really scared at herself/the world - and me because I can't fix it, like I could fix dinner or broken toys...
  13. LMD


    You know that deep down he knows you. He knows he can trust you to be who you've always been (ie, the person who loves him more than life and has strong convictions). It's okay to vehemently disagree and be hurt and upset - we're human and relationships are messy - but don't let that speak a lie to the foundation, history and truth of who you are to each other. Trust in that foundation, trust in God's plan for both of you.
  14. LMD


    I can absolutely imagine a scenario where my need to be able to speak/live what I genuinely believe to be true is more important than capitulating because my relationship with someone, even my child, might be affected. That would feel like an inauthentic relationship to me. Lovingly holding my boundaries does not have to be a bad, relationship ending thing.
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