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About LMD

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  1. Yes it's okay! I think there are two separate things here, the material care of a person for whom you feel a duty and having a personal, emotional investment in a relationship. Can you & sibs make sure the former is done (note, not necessarily do it yourself) without feeling like the latter must follow? Sorry, I know it's easy to type it, and the opposite of easy to live it.
  2. Some days are just write offs and that's okay. If you work when you can it evens out. Yesterday our day was derailed by 1. Dh being home during the day. 2. Everyone slept in because recovering from illness 3. I hadn't cleaned the kitchen before bed so had to do that 4. my sudden need to go into town (30 mins each way) to pay an invoice in person because it was complicated and not working over the phone. 5. an email came in about dds orchestra so I had to print, fill in and drop off forms while in town. 6. I had to take a phone call from my friend who needed to unpack some stuff- we'd been trying to chat for 2 days. We did not get much school done 😄
  3. I'm really sorry to hear this Stella. You have an awful lot on your plate already. Please be kind to yourself. As for your question, I'm not there yet but I've thought a lot about it. Luckily for me, my abusive parent is still on good terms with my sibling, so I'll just support her (and vice versa with our other parent, families eh?! Complicated.) I have a friend who doesn't even take phone calls from her abusive and now dying of Parkinson's parent. If it came down to it, they'd make sure a care home spot was found for but the relationship boundary is bold and necessitated by his unrepentant and continued behaviour.
  4. Quit Scouts. I'd quit scouts in a heartbeat! Do not feel bad about not doing evening stuff, or not being busy. I often not-joke that I'm allergic to being busy. I don't function well. We don't, as a rule, do evening things because our schedule is whack enough with dh's shifts and it just doesn't work. We have broken it twice in 15 years, when dd was aged 8-10ish, for a total of about 18months and mostly regretted it. We're about to break it again but under strict and vastly different conditions (1-1.5 hrs once a week, dd is older, carpooling and dh helping with lifts, only running for 3 terms p/year, already has friend in the group, it is in the career path dd is interested in and will advance skills) Anyway, sorry for the me-rail! What sort of environment do you need for writing? How much time per day/week do you need? What time of day do you generally work best? One block of time or snatches of time? Can you institute an afternoon quiet time? Everyone rests quietly for at least an hour? Then it won't matter so much if your 3 year old sleeps, she'll still get a rest. I'd probably say from about 2.30pm, everyone goes to a quiet spot with books, headphones etc., set a timer. I'd likely cave on quiet screens as long as they stayed put and quiet. Then you can make a cup of tea and write for an hour or so. Can you take the dogs out for 20 mins before your husband leaves for work? At 7ish, before the kids are mostly up? I'd keep wild and free because it sounds like you enjoy it and it's meeting more of your needs (kids from church, good activities outdoors, not in the evening) P.e. Class, I'd be open to something different. Throwing out this idea - what if, instead of pe class, you went to the gym as soon as daycare opened 8am - or left home same time as your dh, you did your thing (exercise & sauna) til 9/9.30am. Then, you and kids spend another hour or two having pe at the gym (I'm assuming for the sake of this idea that there are facilities like a pool!) and pre-text-invite other homeschooling families to join you for casual pe/play time. Home by 10.30/11.30ish, daily work & lunch. Done by 2 - rest/writing time. I'm envisioning a routine like this: 7am - take dogs for a walk 7.30 - shower/dress, breakfast with family, see husband off to work. 8-8.30ish - 11-11.30 ish - morning block. This is homeschooling group work time or gym/pe or wild&free. 11.30ish - 12.30ish - lunch. Include an after lunch household chore for everybody. 12.30 - 2.30 - daily homeschool work/folders. 2.30 - 4pm - rest and writing time 4 - 4.30 - take dogs for a walk again, with some/all kids? Your oldest could maybe watch one or two? 4.30 - Evening Meal Time (6? 7? Ish) - free play for the kids. Housework, prep food, relax (haha) 9pm - kids in bed. Spend time with oldest ds? Last pick up around the house. 9.30 - 11pm Mon/Fri when dh is still at work, Write! Tue/Wed/Thurs enjoy your hubby! Sleep by midnight. That's about 8 hours of writing time a week so far. Then, I'd make a deal with dh for some focussed writing time on the weekend. Maybe Saturday afternoon/evening is daddy and kids time to sort out the evening meal while mommy writes. You disappear at 3pm and come out at 6ish when tea is ready. Then (if I remember correctly, he doesn't come to church with you guys? No judgement, mine doesn't either!) He has a few kid free hours Sunday morning to do whatever he needs/wants, guilt free. Obviously this is just my random thoughts, ignore as much as you like 😁 sorry if there's doubled suggestions, I only read about 2/3rds of the replies... Solidarity sister, sounds like you are doing a great job!
  5. 😄 I like this! - as a Baptist at heart currently worshipping in a Presbyterian church... I'd agree that the two main differences we see, in practice, are the infant baptism and the beuracracy church governance structure 😉
  6. Something we can agree on! 😄 *is jealous*
  7. At the moment we spend $500 a month on music lessons (4 kids, $1 per minute rate)... that doesn't include instrument costs, orchestra, books, exams, accompanists, travel...
  8. Hope you're all doing okay Melissa, and have gotten some of this much needed rain!
  9. It is precisely this reason that I prefer to guard against absorbing a pornographic and exploitative understanding of sexuality.
  10. Nah, it's just conveniently rebranded as empowering meet the new boss same as the old boss...
  11. I would just like to clarify that pointing out the so-called empowerment in selling (a very specific kind of) sexuality as a commodity in our pornified society is not the same as thinking any individual woman is a s!ut! Nor does it imply teaching my children to judge other women as having less value. Amazed it needs to be said.
  12. Ding ding ding. Well said. It's not that they still look good for 40/50 - and I agree that they absolutely do! It's that they are judged still 'f**kable.' Still acceptable as pornhub user w*nk fodder, how exactly is that empowering for women individually or as a class?
  13. Would she do something like an elliptical machine (easier on the knees/back) while watching tv? I realize it doesn't solve the social issue sorry...
  14. Oh goodness just seeing this, glad to hear you are all okay. Prayers for today. I'm wondering about rain forecast too, we had 41° yesterday and it's now been pouring for hours. Praying it heads your way asap.
  15. That's just nasty and lazy teaching. I would ask the teacher how exactly your dd was supposed to feel, having her best efforts publicly torn down by her peers? Poor kid.
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