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About LMD

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  1. I agree with carol and janeway and happi. I think it is really lovely of you, but that boyfriend's family basically taking over parenting is fraught with a lot of relationship complicating issues for everyone. I really do understand where she is at, I did something very similar at her age, it caused a lot of bad blood with my family who weren't healthy/stable enough to deal with it - 20 years on they still haven't and still hate dh and his family. I would also be wary of encouraging codependence in my son and his relationship with her. I know it's probably not practical at all, but the ideal solution would be for her to move in to her own place, with friends/roommates, and with your family as a loving and supportive help - but with enough distance that the young adult relationship isn't pressured. Fwiw, I wouldn't have gone for this solution back then, but I can see the wisdom in it now!
  2. I could have introduced you all to 'that kid who turned good kids into liars and druggies.' Are we all really so naive? Social currency and addictive drugs are... a heck of a drug.
  3. I don't disagree with this Tanaqui, and I'm sure PeachyDoodle was reading and thinking. Some posts have definitely been catastrophising imo, insinuating that her daughter will be scarred with low self esteem for life and that's Peachy's fault for not agreeing with people on the internet 100% about their interpretation of her own daughter. With all the love and best intentions and great advice in the world, I will never be a perfect parent and my child will inevitably have their own battles. That's life. The love and best intentions part means that we struggle through those battles together.
  4. I think PeachyDoodle knows her kid and loves her more than randoms on an internet forum who are taking this waaaaaaay to personally.
  5. My dd missed out on a big deal thing this year, because her dad and I couldn't trust her to behave herself. We had a lot of bad attitude. It was difficult and I was sad for her, but she missed out. For treating the attitude, it had become habitual. She started down that road and it spiralled, she couldn't seem to see and pull herself up because she'd be too far down the self absorbed/self pity path. I had her wear a hair elastic on her wrist and practice snapping it at the first nasty attitude thought. Having a physical association (it didn't hurt her) would be enough to draw her back into reality before the spiral started. A week of this seemed to help break the habit (somewhat, she's still a teenager!) *hugs* parenting ain't for the faint of heart! Eta- I don't feel bad at all about this. It is good for my child to learn emotional self regulation and healthy thought processes.
  6. Sounds exactly like my teen daughter... my commiserations!
  7. Meaningful, physical work is so good for kids - especially boys! Glad you had a better day.
  8. My MIL gave me some great parenting advice once. Don't give them a chance to lie. If you know they did it, don't play that game. You've had some good advice here. Good luck!
  9. Yes I think this is a big part of it. We have lost a huge amount of wisdom. We don't even know how to look for it anymore. I am so frustrated with how fractured we all are, especially women and especially around becoming mothers. I could weep. But I was young and arrogant when I had my babies and I didn't want advice or respect my foremothers either... I don't go in for mummy wars stuff at all. We're all just figuring it out. I just wish we would be better at figuring it out together.
  10. I feel the same way Stella, but it's easy and habitual mental stimulation. It's more effort to read a book or think deeply about hard questions over my morning coffee...
  11. Thanks! I'm waiting patiently for Gulp!!
  12. We can do it through our state homeschool organisation (vic). I'm not sure what state you're in but I'd first ask your state group. Registrations close in June (paper) or July (online). You can also arrange to sit it at a nearby school. The Australian Mathematics Trust are who I would call second for help setting it up. Now I'm wondering if you can just sign up the same way I do because, it's Aus wide right? I might ask a couple of questions and get back to you! Also, there's this list of competitions: ICAS and REACH can be officially sat as homeschoolers, there's a bit of hoop jumping (for ICAS, homeschoolers aren't eligible for the medal prizes and for REACH you need to submit your registration and copy of birth certificate!) Getting in touch with UNSW is your best bet, their registration periods are usually June-july for REACH and slightly later for ICAS. I tend to just buy past papers and get my kids to do them at home for my own information- but that means they aren't officially graded/ranked by UNSW. You can download past naplan papers here:
  13. I do understand. My thinking would be a lot like your second paragraph. The thing is, yes the information might be helpful but there are other ways to assess that - ways that you are in control of making the decisions about. You don't have to let the department rush you or put you on the back foot about this. The language of the department ordaining that, within a fortnight, it is assumed that your child will be tested is what would immediately have me pushing back - but I'm a bit recalcitrant regarding education departments 😄 Fwiw, a friend and I decided to have our kids do some past naplan papers a couple of years ago. We both had grade 3s and I also had a grade 5. She is a teacher, was a fairly new homeschooler and wanted some reassurance so I forced mine to do it too in solidarity. Unlike in school, we just powered through and did all the tests in one sitting, we kept feeding the kids donuts 😂 They all did well. Now those same kids are in 8th & 6th and I have another 3rd grader. I'll probably have them enter the Australian mathematics competition again this year, and I'm thinking about buying some past ICAS papers just to do at home for our own general information.
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