If you’re enjoying quarantine...

[fairfarmhand]

I have friends who are really enjoying quarantine. They love the slower pace and family together time.

my family is not enjoying it much at all. We had a great year with a good balance of home/out of the house stuff. We had 2-3 days per week leaving the house enjoyable stuff with the other days staying in. All our out of the house things were fun. 

so now it just feels that the fun out of the house things are gone and what’s left is the stay at home stuff, which was ok for awhile but now is getting stale. I have 3 kids at home, 12 yo boy, 15 yo girl, 18 yo girl, and they tend to get along ok, but are by no means one another’s best friends.

so what is my family missing? Why are we struggling and others are loving it?

[klmama]

Different personalities?  Maybe their out-of-house activities were more work than they wanted?  Maybe their kids have more in common?   

[SKL]

My kids are doing surprisingly well.  Some factors:

• They really are best friends, whether they admit it or not.
• They don't fight over much - they have different interests / needs.
• They have lots more freedom than before, though they have online school daily.
• They are pretty connected with friends and current events (that they care about) electronically.
• They are bonding with one of the aunties (who is a vidiot) over binge watching.  Things had been kinda salty with this auntie for years.
• They have plenty to do - so far boredom has never happened and I don't see it happening for the foreseeable future.

For me personally, I am an extreme introvert.  If it weren't for the economic side of things, I'd personally be happy staying this way forever.  I stay alone in my room almost all the time kuz even the 4 other people living here can be too much for me.  😛

[Sharpie]

I'm loving it.  However, my life is different than most.  We're currently in calving season which is a stressful busy time of year.  Having almost everything cleared from our plate is wonderful!  I think it depends on what your life typically looks like whether it's good or not.  All but one in my family are introverts.  We've played games, had deep conversations that likely wouldn't have happened and we are working many hours outside so it's all good. 

[Sneezyone]

What SKL said. Also:

• Both small people are pursuing things that they're passionate about (design, architecture, latin).
• DH has been taking the boy for a run at least one evening a week.
• DD is doing 100 burpees a day.
• I am sewing in the afternoons and working in the mornings, cooking at night...

Basically, we're all busy doing the things we like/want to do.

[RootAnn]

14 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

so what is my family missing? Why are we struggling and others are loving it?

Are you homeschooling still? (Vs. schooling-at-home?) Because I would say that there is somwthing to be said for having some outside activities to provide something different when your schedule is otherwise pretty same-old-same-old.

I wouldn't say we are enjoying quarantine. Our lives are about the same (with additional stuff at home to fill in the time we did outside stuff). I don't mind it for now. My kids are, IMO, friends with each other but not each other's best friends.

[fairfarmhand]

3 minutes ago, RootAnn said:

Are you homeschooling still? (Vs. schooling-at-home?) Because I would say that there is somwthing to be said for having some outside activities to provide something different when your schedule is otherwise pretty same-old-same-old.

I wouldn't say we are enjoying quarantine. Our lives are about the same (with additional stuff at home to fill in the time we did outside stuff). I don't mind it for now. My kids are, IMO, friends with each other but not each other's best friends.

Yes, our school stuff hasn’t changed a bit. (Me teaching Ds and girls virtual schooling like they’ve always done) 

 

[marbel]

Your family is not "missing" anything; people are different and not everyone reacts the same way. Not everyone is enjoying this time; maybe most of the people you are know are (or saying they are?) but by no means is everyone loving it!

I am typically a homebody introvert, but I hate being trapped at home all the time now. I did enjoy my freedom to go to the library, to the grocery store whenever I wanted, even to buy one item for a new recipe, go out for coffee.  My husband and I were also getting used to the empty nest and now college kids are home. They are busy; we hardly see them during the day. I work the same number of hours, but at home, so I have more free time because of not driving anywhere. But I am busier figuring out food, keeping up with extra housework (because the college kids are busy and stressed out so I'm not burdening them with laundry or cooking chores right now)... not having much fun really!

You're not alone!

Edited April 14, 2020 by marbel

[rebcoola]

We are doing fine.  basically the only things that have changed here is that all our fun stuff is cancelled.  So it's hard to say life is better with no friends or church.

[RootAnn]

1 minute ago, fairfarmhand said:

Yes, our school stuff hasn’t changed a bit. (Me teaching Ds and girls virtual schooling like they’ve always done) 

 

Then I would say y'all are more extroverted than your friends & like the change of pace that outside activities give you.

If we had lots of free time and I allowed my kids to watch movies, YouTube, play videogames, etc, it would be completely different around here. We are still doing Full School plus other activities my kids pursue anyway (running a non-profit that is still pushing out messages, YouTube channel, writing/illustrating books, exercise stuff, practicing karate at home, building stuff, studying for a pilot's license, etc.) so we don't have a hundred extra free time hours that we didn't have before to be doing extra projects or catching up on stuff.

[fairfarmhand]

7 minutes ago, rebcoola said:

We are doing fine.  basically the only things that have changed here is that all our fun stuff is cancelled.  So it's hard to say life is better with no friends or church.

This is it. Bottom line. I think the extroverts are getting on the introverts nerves too.

[BarbecueMom]

I'm not sure "enjoying" is the right word, but I'm not disliking it.  I admit to feeling a twinge of personal disappointment at the thought of having to go out and do things again.

What I'm really feeling is a lack of guilt.  I don't enjoy the work of maintaining extended family relationships - visiting, hosting people, attending gatherings for holidays I'd rather not celebrate, pretending I've kept up with family news when I haven't, etc.  So I don't have to feel guilty about not going to Easter dinner, because there wasn't one, and that's a huge relief.  I don't have to feel guilty about choosing not to visit my father, because I wouldn't be able to visit even if I did want to.  I don't have to feel guilty about not enjoying other people's kids, because I'm only around the ones I gave birth to.  I don't have to feel guilty about my kids not having "must see" friendships, because they really haven't missed anyone, which makes all this easier.  I don't have to feel guilty about how weirdly self-entertaining and "obnoxiously creative" my kids are, because they've never been bored during this whole month.  I don't have to feel guilty about not wanting to spend money on the kids' activities, because everything's cancelled and the savings is piling up.  I don't have to feel guilty about not trying to make friends, because I tend to curl up in my shell when anyone Has Opinions, even if I agree 100%, and I'm much happier when I don't have to deal with that.

Basically, I don't handle people well, unless they are the people I chose to live with.  And right now, for one rare moment in time, I don't have to.

[prairiewindmomma]

13 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

This is it. Bottom line. I think the extroverts are getting on the introverts nerves too.

I have been tossing my extroverts in front of Zoom and letting them chat with friends while I recuperate.  Find some ways to get some time to yourself. It helps immensely.

[Matryoshka]

21 minutes ago, Dreamergal said:

I lecture my family a lot about we need to band together, cook everything, multiple times a day, not a single take out in sight. Baking bread from scratch. The whole shebang. We used to go out to eat a lot. I may look like I have it all together. 

The truth, I am sick of cooking, every single thing, every single day. I am sick of trying to keep up the pantry, the grocery, the veggies, the fruits, the washing, the million times checking if people have washed their hands, the eating healthy, the schooling, the planning a day. But I will do it because we have no choice, with a smile because my family has no choice. My husband helps, but I long for the day where we can go out to eat. Where someone will smile and ask me what I want to eat, serve it with a smile, clear the plates. 

Perhaps there are people in this world who do love the whole thing. But there are also those perhaps like me who put on a smile and do it because we have no choice. 

I just cannot cook that much.  Here, breakfasts and lunches are make-your-own and I cook a big dinner (often something in a big pot or in the oven) a couple of times a week that lasts 2-3 days and freeze the rest for other days I don't want to cook.  We've also done take-out a couple of times (no more than 1x/week) to 'support local business' - and that usually lasts us two nights as well.  This keeps me sane.  This isn't that different than what I've always done.  When all my kids were home, they didn't like all the leftovers.  Tough cookies, find yourself something else to eat (I did ask them for suggestions, but they had none, so too bad).  Youngest now lives mostly on frozen stuff from TJ's.  So be it.  At least I don't have to cater to her.

Edited April 14, 2020 by Matryoshka

[JustEm]

I am very much enjoying my time even though I miss our fun activities outside of the house. But that doesn't mean that every moment of every day is great and positive. We get on each others nerves a bit more on some days. Some of us cry over missing cousins and friends. We mourn the cancelled activities when their days come and go.

But we are also finding very creative ways to fill the void of our outside life.  We have all been writing a ton, painting a ton, we've created a city out of cardboard boxes that ds7 is using as the background.to a picture book he's writing. We've spent countless hours working on the yard and garden. Some kids are learning coding. Others have learned to read. Lots of baking is being done and the kids are really perfecting some recipes. There are tons of other examples of how we've adapted to the changes.

 

[Elizabeth86]

Well I'm enjoying it, BUT my kids are 8, 7, 4 and 2.  So at that age we have a million things to do at home.  Lots of toys, a great yard, school to work on, a million books to read, endless things to watch like bringing you the zoo, crafts and baking that I never made time for. We arent big on out of the house activities on a regular basis, but we keep busy.  It's nice not stuffing kids in car seats or rushing around saying we're going to be late, where are your shoes and so forth.  The kids have barely noticed life is different and they are happy as clams at home.  If my kids were your kids age, I probably wouldn't be enjoying it either.  I wouldn't enjoy it if it were just dh and me either.  I do like staying busy, but having 4 kids under 8 keeps me so busy that staying home still keeps me busy 24/7.

[DesertBlossom]

Another introvert here! We are doing okay here. My two oldest kids who attend a charter school have transitioned pretty seamlessly into their online assignments and done it independently. Besides being disgruntled about not being able to get books from the library, things are going on mostly as usual. We miss our outside activities, but it's fine. We have a huge backyard and the weather right now is fantastic so they spend a lot if time outside. 

I have heard through the grapevine that the city summer swim teams and public pools will be cancelled and closed because of lack of funding. The library and museums will be closed too through fall. This has me feeling pretty desperate because it's so oppressively hot during the summer here, that if we don't have swim team and public pools open, we are going to be stuck inside and miserable all summer.

Edited April 14, 2020 by DesertBlossom

[Pawz4me]

39 minutes ago, marbel said:

Your family is not "missing" anything; people are different and not everyone reacts the same way. Not everyone is enjoying this time; maybe most of the people you are know are (or saying they are?) but by no means is everyone loving it!

I am typically a homebody introvert, but I hate being trapped at home all the time now. I did enjoy my freedom to go to the library, to the grocery store whenever I wanted, even to buy one item for a new recipe, go out for coffee.

Exactly the same here.

Someone looking at us from the outside wouldn't think our lives had changed much. We didn't go out a lot before, so while I've cut back on trips to the grocery store, and we're getting takeout a couple of times a week instead of going to restaurants, otherwise it looks like business as usual around our house. But the trapped feeling is definitely there. Absolutely.

I don't think you're doing anything wrong, FFH. People and families are just different. All the people I talk to IRL--everyone is disliking the current situation. Some more than others, but certainly no one is claiming to be having anything remotely resembling a good time.

[Soror]

I am being a total hermit and am enjoying it. It makes me reminiscent of when the kids were smaller and we had less going on. Of course, the kids miss TKD and seeing their friends but we are adapting and making it, it isn't a very big deal for the younger ones. Personally, I've hardly talked to anyone, I regularly talk to my Mom and message one friend but I've only talked to a total of 3 other people when they messaged/called me. I'm an introvert but tend to end up in charge of leading things all the time, I can't help myself. I'm loving the solitude. I'm loving not seeing anyone. I'm loving the time to focus on jobs around the house and work with the kids. I love not having to be 'on.' I love making my own schedule and not having to be anywhere at anytime (well I teach online in the mornings but that's it).

I'm not cooking anymore than I was before as we only rarely ate out, it is just that we have to adjust what we eat at times. I don't cook 3 meals a day, any day of the week, the 3 older kids all have meals they cook, sometimes we have leftovers, and sometimes fend for yourself, and when they are lucky I declare it a junk food meal and let them have frozen food for a meal.

I do miss grocery shopping (of all things) and the ability to just go get things. I don't miss people yet. I know I will eventually, I'm not that anti-social, but I'm not there yet. Who knows where I will be at the end of all of this, maybe I'll end up coming out wanting to do more things but right now I'm thinking of how I can keep more solitude in my every day life and what I can cut (and we aren't nearly as busy as many people).

eta: Of course, I am in now way happy of the situation that is causing the quarantine and think that it is a good thing (should go without saying but just in case).

Edited April 14, 2020 by soror

[mommyoffive]

At first I was so upset, and my older 2 were too.  Now I really like it and it reminds me of when the kids were little and we didn't go anywhere and just had the days to do what we wanted.  I think this is a lot easier if your kids are smaller.  They get more time at home to play.   My older kids have liked it and not at the same time.  They are at the age where friends are more important and they miss hanging out with them even though they can on zoom or emails.  They also miss their activities.  But they have gotten time to do things that they have missed out on, so they are enjoying that. 

I feel like I am an introvert most of the time.  Honestly I know that I don't want to go back to our previous life.  But if life gets back to normal  sometime we probably will.   

[cjzimmer1]

1 hour ago, BarbecueMom said:

I'm not sure "enjoying" is the right word, but I'm not disliking it.  I admit to feeling a twinge of personal disappointment at the thought of having to go out and do things again.

What I'm really feeling is a lack of guilt.  I don't enjoy the work of maintaining extended family relationships - visiting, hosting people, attending gatherings for holidays I'd rather not celebrate, pretending I've kept up with family news when I haven't, etc.  So I don't have to feel guilty about not going to Easter dinner, because there wasn't one, and that's a huge relief.  I don't have to feel guilty about choosing not to visit my father, because I wouldn't be able to visit even if I did want to.  I don't have to feel guilty about not enjoying other people's kids, because I'm only around the ones I gave birth to.  I don't have to feel guilty about my kids not having "must see" friendships, because they really haven't missed anyone, which makes all this easier.  I don't have to feel guilty about how weirdly self-entertaining and "obnoxiously creative" my kids are, because they've never been bored during this whole month.  I don't have to feel guilty about not wanting to spend money on the kids' activities, because everything's cancelled and the savings is piling up.  I don't have to feel guilty about not trying to make friends, because I tend to curl up in my shell when anyone Has Opinions, even if I agree 100%, and I'm much happier when I don't have to deal with that.

Basically, I don't handle people well, unless they are the people I chose to live with.  And right now, for one rare moment in time, I don't have to.

This is much of my feelings too.  If online grocery shopping and ordering was less difficult, I could happily live like this for the rest of my life.  I don't miss going to church and dealing with people.  I LOVE watching the service online, worshipping in my own home and then turning it off when I'm done without having to confirm to the social niceties of talking to people before/after.  I love not trying to get everyone dressed/ready/moving out the door because we have to be somewhere at a specific time. I love letting my kids sleep till noon if that's what they feel like, knowing we've got all day to work on their schoolwork (everyone is a night owl except DH, so doing homework at 11 PM works just fine for us).  I can't think of a single person/thing that I miss at all (I still see/talk to my parents and siblings on a regularly basis because we all shut off everything except seeing each other, - that bubble concept that someone talked about in AU or NZ can't remember now).  That probably says something about my level of connectedness but that's ok.  Some of my kids are struggling but as time goes on, they are learning how to improvise just fine.  We never had a lot of outside activities to begin with but I would love it if in the future we could manage to not pick them up again.

[kiwik]

I have noticed that change too.  It is nice.  I am enjoying not having to rush round and it is lovely not having to deal with ds10 flipping out because the music is too loud or something has changed.  I briefly considered not going back to anything but ds10 actually needs to do those things he finds so hard.  We were going to scale back slightly anyway so we will still do that.  A lot of our reduced rushing though is due to my work hours dropping from 30 to around 15 which is not sustainable long term.

[Hilltopmom]

I’m enjoying it and feel bad that I am.

I’m not enjoying helping my teen with an IEP get through her school work. I wish my college kid could get back to “his” life away from home and my teen was dancing at the studio every night instead of sulking in her room.

But being home with the little ones, teaching my students from home the best I can, getting out for a walk during daylight hours every day. That I’m enjoying. Takes me back to my SAHM/ homeschooling days.

I realize I’m very privileged to be able to enjoy this time- we don’t have to worry about paying the bills or feeding our kids and are able to work from home and help our kids with their schoolwork.

[matrips]

2 hours ago, fairfarmhand said:

I have friends who are really enjoying quarantine. They love the slower pace and family together time.

my family is not enjoying it much at all. We had a great year with a good balance of home/out of the house stuff. We had 2-3 days per week leaving the house enjoyable stuff with the other days staying in. All our out of the house things were fun. 

so now it just feels that the fun out of the house things are gone and what’s left is the stay at home stuff, which was ok for awhile but now is getting stale. I have 3 kids at home, 12 yo boy, 15 yo girl, 18 yo girl, and they tend to get along ok, but are by no means one another’s best friends.

so what is my family missing? Why are we struggling and others are loving it?

I don’t know if we’re loving it, but we’re not hating it.  I have 3 teens and dh home with me.  DH is doing a lot of genealogy research along with work stuff.  Kids have school each day.  Free time is the pool, legos, board games, reading, sometimes bike riding. We watch a movie each night which is a treat. They still have weekly Civil Air Patrol meetings via Zoom and are working on their next achievements.  Our dog seems to enjoy having her family around :)

We haven’t done much in the way of home projects; that would require shopping and we are staying home. But the slow life is okay with us.  The kids are enjoying their downtime, which as teenagers, they don’t usually have enough of.  They have always enjoyed their downtime even though they usually keep quite busy.

We had gone from always on the go, with me filling up the car more than once a week. I haven’t gassed up since mid-March.

[Mbelle]

2 hours ago, fairfarmhand said:

I have friends who are really enjoying quarantine. They love the slower pace and family together time.

my family is not enjoying it much at all. We had a great year with a good balance of home/out of the house stuff. We had 2-3 days per week leaving the house enjoyable stuff with the other days staying in. All our out of the house things were fun. 

so now it just feels that the fun out of the house things are gone and what’s left is the stay at home stuff, which was ok for awhile but now is getting stale. I have 3 kids at home, 12 yo boy, 15 yo girl, 18 yo girl, and they tend to get along ok, but are by no means one another’s best friends.

so what is my family missing? Why are we struggling and others are loving it?

I"m in the same boat.  It's really bad.  It reminds of a time where I had severe food poisoning and I thought I was giong to die but I was so sick I didn't care.  That is how I feel right now

One of my friend is just loving it.  She loves to clean and organize and is using all this time as an opportunity to organize every inch of her house.  I like my house clean, but it is not like it's my go to for fun.  I do it because i like the results and that is the only reason I do it.  

My kids are doing much better than me.

[Selkie]

It's going pretty well here. I'm an introvert and a homebody, and I love nothing more than having all three kids under my roof. 

Our two businesses are essential, so dh and I are as busy as ever with that, and I have 23 animals to care for. There isn't much downtime in our lives, and no time to be bored.

My two boys are busy with their online college classes, as is dd, who is finishing up her senior year of high school. They're all pretty practical, so while they miss being at college and seeing friends and just, ya know, being able to leave the house, they're content knowing this is the best and safest situation for now.

One thing I do dislike is having to disinfect every single piece of mail and package and grocery item before it comes into the house. That is getting old!

 

[fairfarmhand]

15 minutes ago, Mbelle said:

I"m in the same boat.  It's really bad.  It reminds of a time where I had severe food poisoning and I thought I was giong to die but I was so sick I didn't care.  That is how I feel right now

One of my friend is just loving it.  She loves to clean and organize and is using all this time as an opportunity to organize every inch of her house.  I like my house clean, but it is not like it's my go to for fun.  I do it because i like the results and that is the only reason I do it.  

My kids are doing much better than me.

Same. I’ve always know this about myself but now I really feel it...I MUST have outside structure to be productive. I thrive with a deadline a place I need to be a time to get started.. and without that...I’m lost. It’s not that I always hate being at home. Generally id say I’m something of a home body. But forcing myself to do stuff with no time line...I just can’t. 

[Annie G]

Everyone isn’t going to enjoy this time.  We’re doing ok, but I miss seeing the grands,  road tripping, antique hunting, attending events.  
I hope you’re not feeling that you ‘should’ be enjoying this time. Everyone has different needs...you were enjoying your routine. 
 

Oldest grand hates this. She needs to be with her friends, wants to be at dance class, playing air hockey, running the lyrics at church. She just likes being with people, and needs routine.  Next oldest grand is LOVING this. While she loves being w her friends, she is enjoying having so much free time. She’s learning to paint w watercolors via video lessons, she’s cooking,  Working on her photography and photo editing skills. She’s writing letters to people. She’s reading as much as she wants.  I don’t think it’s the difference between her being 10 and  her sister being 12, It’s just that they are very different and this is fun for one kid while it’s torture for the other. 

[Teresa in MO]

I am not at all enjoying this.  It has definitely not been good for my mental health.  I would be doing much better I think if my late husband was here with me.  I have been dealing with a tidal wave of grief.  I have a 3 week old granddaughter that I can't hop in the car and go see.  I saw her once when they had to pick up her big brother, who I was watching when they were in the hospital.  I can't go help my DIL.  I have 2 daughters who are due in July.  I am the caregivers for both while they are in the hospital.  One lives here in town, but the other one lives 4 hours away.  There is no backup.  When I hear talk about how this could go on for a whole  year or longer, I cringe because I know I won't make it through that.

[Junie]

4 hours ago, Sharpie said:

I'm loving it.  However, my life is different than most.  We're currently in calving season which is a stressful busy time of year.  Having almost everything cleared from our plate is wonderful!  I think it depends on what your life typically looks like whether it's good or not.  All but one in my family are introverts.  We've played games, had deep conversations that likely wouldn't have happened and we are working many hours outside so it's all good. 

This comment, I think, is key.

I wouldn't say that I'm enjoying quarantine, but my life isn't really that much different.

I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and chronic migraines, so my life was already severely limited in what I can do.

We stay at home a lot anyway, so my kids are used to it.  The major differences for them are church via internet and dd17 isn't working at the moment.

I have gone to church online often in the past few years, so that really isn't different for me.

I do like having dh home while he is teleworking, so that has been a plus.

I actually did grocery shopping in the store yesterday for the first time all year.  We typically use grocery pickup, but they have been limiting quantities in a way that doesn't work for feeding 7 people, so I actually went in the store.  That was the most walking I've done in a long time.

 

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

I see life as a daily chance to trust God in some things (ie. especially the things that I find more difficult), to enjoy certain things and to try to problem solve as much as I can each day.  The pandemic hasn't changed that for me.  I will say that if I am acutely ill (like I was for six weeks until just a week ago when I finally came out of it) physical pain etc. can cloud my perceptions (literally).  But I have still found things to be grateful for every day.  Like Junie, I am limited in my daily and have been for years so this has been a long lesson for me and not one that came on suddenly a few weeks ago.

I have had to pivot in how I reach out to friends.  And as I've pivoted there have been some unexpected blessings.  And of course there are unexpected things that take longer or are more of a pain-in-the-butt but that's life, right? 

[Arcadia]

We aren’t enjoying having to stay home as we can’t exercise at home without disturbing upstairs and downstairs neighbors. 
However, I did make my penny pinching husband spend money to make my life easier and more enjoyable. We bought:

a $130 Ninja blender that could actually crush ice well (my old spoilt much cheaper ones could not),
a bigger wok since we are eating at home more ($50 but my husband was still shock by the price),

a few small pots of herbs to grow as well as packs of potting soil and new pots (my husband only wanted to grow his free sunflower seeds),

a bird feeder and bird feed. 

My teens do like to cook especially DS15. So the new wok and blender makes everyone happy. DS14 loves birds so hopefully birds will come, we just bought the feeder today. 

Now that the weather is better, I would sit for an hour or two at my patio to read my coursework in the late afternoon. 

 

Edited April 14, 2020 by Arcadia
Autocorrect

[alisoncooks]

Our quarantine life doesn't look much different than our regular life. That said, I'm bored out of my mind. I'm struggling to stay awake during the day. 

The kids seem...okay. They've got a lot of Zoom meetings, but they miss going places. Heck, I hate going places and *I* miss going places.  

Edited April 14, 2020 by alisoncooks

[Wheres Toto]

I definitely need outside accountability to get things done.  I work much better under pressure, with a limited amount of time.   So, that's rougher and I'm getting very little done that I want to get done.  But I'm mostly okay with that.  

I'm an introvert in a house full of introverts so we're all enjoying the slower pace a little bit.   Not that much has changed for my kids except they used to go to the science center with me a couple times a week.  But even there if they weren't actually in class they were doing their school or reading or chatting with online friends so not much has changed as far as the actual things they are doing.   Just now they get to do it in their own rooms. 

[Donna]

I am not hating being at home.

If it weren't for the worry for my DS's who are currently laid off and figuring out how to support themselves with no income until their unemployment kicks in and me missing the ability to visit them and my baby grand daughter, I might even be enjoying it.

We are finding plenty of activities to keep ourselves entertained and doing things we've wanted to do but not had time to do before.  The weather is beautiful so we sit outside on the deck to read, walk the dog, and work in the yard/garden. We love to cook and bake. Things aren't horrible here as far as ability to get groceries/supplies we need.

The fact that nothing is happening anywhere helped us change our (initial) mindset from sadness about what we were not able to do/everything that was cancelled to allowing us to enjoy the slower pace of life and family time. It also keeps DD from having FOMO so she is enjoying time to compose, paint, read, create music projects for herself, and get a head start on her college degree which she was going to have to do a few courses at a time while working/touring but can now do a few summer courses and a full fall semester. 

 

[regentrude]

I am not enjoying quarantine either. I am not seeing the "slower pace" everybody is talking about. Work takes longer from home. DH is working much more because there is so much paperwork and meetings on top of the work that already takes more time. He's an introvert and has to endure endless Zoom meetings with the college administrators. As an extrovert, I am missing people and the activities that balanced my life and gave me joy.
The blissful navel gazing isn't happening.  

My kids aren't enjoying it either. My DD is working from home, full time plus extra. She sits on the computer all day. Normally, she'd hit the climbing gym several times a week, and that isn't happening. Not good for her. My DS is doing all online school and is so bored; he's an athlete and can't train. He and his gf are both introverts, stuck in a small apartment together with no way to get away from one another to be alone for a bit. Nope, nobody in the family likes this, not even the introverts.

Edited April 15, 2020 by regentrude

[EmseB]

So I have outside worries other than this but right now being home makes me feel safe and cozy almost? DH is military and gone so I have that compartment of worry for him, but he is no longer going to work and coming home everyday, which was giving me anxiousness. Now he's in a strict quarantine predeployment and we are nestled in for the long haul at home.

I almost feel more calm now than I did during flu and norovirus season when I was on my own with all the kids but we were still expected to be social and go to things.

[edelweiss]

I am enjoying it.  I hate this virus, of course, and I am so sad about the havoc it is wreaking, but if I ignore the reason why we are stuck at home, I am actually really happy.  I love having everyone at home and having no place to go.  I don't miss one single thing about going out so far.  For the last several years, I have teased my family that when the kids are out of the house and on their own, I am never leaving the house again.  So, I am living my dream! 😂

I am actually dreading when they open things up.  Right now we are all home and safe in our little bubble.  I am so grateful for this time that we are having together and will be sad when it ends. 

 

[mom2scouts]

I'm more of an introvert, but I'm not enjoying this at all. Our weather hasn't been nice, so even going outside isn't fun. It might not be so bad if I could read on the deck, do yardwork, or take a walk in the sun. We're still homeschooling, so that part of our day hasn't changed. Dh already worked at home and tends toward being a workaholic, so he just goes off and works more, so there's no extra family time. Our days were sometimes too busy, but with school and work at home, getting out of the house in the evenings and on weekends was important. DD is an extrovert and an athlete who can't train. She's high need now and looking for something to do.

I'd love to finish projects around the house, but many of them require help from dh (who's still working as normal), money I'm not quite sure we should spend right now, a place to donate things, or supplies that we don't have or feel we should go out and purchase. Instead, we're spending too much time on the computer, watching TV or movies,  or playing board games and none of those things feel productive to me.

[TravelingChris]

10 hours ago, fairfarmhand said:

I have friends who are really enjoying quarantine. They love the slower pace and family together time.

my family is not enjoying it much at all. We had a great year with a good balance of home/out of the house stuff. We had 2-3 days per week leaving the house enjoyable stuff with the other days staying in. All our out of the house things were fun. 

so now it just feels that the fun out of the house things are gone and what’s left is the stay at home stuff, which was ok for awhile but now is getting stale. I have 3 kids at home, 12 yo boy, 15 yo girl, 18 yo girl, and they tend to get along ok, but are by no means one another’s best friends.

so what is my family missing? Why are we struggling and others are loving it?

As an empty nester, I am not having such a hard time at home.  Yes, I miss going out but I have a lot I can do at home.  When I was homeschooling my kids, I always was out with them a few times a week at least.  Yesterday before you posted, I was thinking about how happy I am that this happened when I am not homeschooling because I think I would be much, much. much unhappier. 

[lovinmyboys]

It isn’t too bad here. I think the ages of my kids helps- 4 boys, ages 8-13. So everyone is self sufficient but we haven’t really hit the teens yet. They all play together pretty well.
 

I was thinking this reminds me of my life 8 years ago- 4 ages 5 and under. We didn’t really go to many places and the days were just ours to do what we wanted. But, now I can cook dinner without kids hanging on my legs. 

We definitely miss our “real” life, but so far it hasn’t been too bad. We have found lots of things to stay busy with.

[rebcoola]

I do enjoy not wearing a bra!! It's been like 3 weeks.  I could keep that part if only I didn't have gigantic bOOks.  

[kiwik]

1 hour ago, rebcoola said:

I do enjoy not wearing a bra!! It's been like 3 weeks.  I could keep that part if only I didn't have gigantic bOOks.  

Me too.  I put it on to go to the supermarket and that's it.  Walks I just throw on a baggy jacket.

[Shoeless]

I have had a few moments of enjoyment, but I can't seem to allow myself to lean into the good parts happening. There's a part of me that is afraid if I relax and say "Actually, I'm happy with the money we are saving and the decreased stress from running around", that somehow I'll jinx myself and end up with an even worse situation. Like god or fate will say "Oh, so this is good? Well, how do you like this?!" 

I wish I could figure out how to relax and go with it. 

[appyonthebeach]

I'm doing fine with it, but I do wish parks would open up again soon for walking. I'm an introvert and don't mind not interacting with people but I do love being out in nature. I've ben doing a lot of baking and trying different recipes, which makes dh happy.  Also been doing some spring cleaning.  

Ds is used to being at school all day and being kept busy with that, so he's been a bit frustrated with all this.  I know he misses his friends.  His school is on spring break this week, so he doesn't even have that to keep him busy.

[Guest]

I am a homebody and I like that part about quarantine...I always liked that part about getting snowed in, too. But being trapped with other people who are or feel trapped too is really hard to cope with well. I also get very stressed over the bigger picture things: how severely will my community/state be impacted (by illness and death), how do we personally and our community collectively get through the financial strain?

I get quite upset when people in leadership positions make what I believe are bad choices. The current talk about “herd immunity” upsets me because it implies that we’re going to accept a lot of people getting sick and even dying - “But, hey, at least we’ll have herd immunity!” 😖

Yesterday I went to Costco for the first time since March 1st. It’s hard to explain but I felt extremely emotionally drained afterwards. I felt like I could use a good, long nap. I did think Costco’s practices were quite good; if I were scoring them on a scale of 1-10, they were close to a 10. But the atmosphere in there was eerie and serious. Everyone in masks, people not talking, barely looking at each other. 

[HS Mom in NC]

Our outside activities are online now.  Youngest (only kid at home) has had facetime and online group video games going on with friends and family across the country since we moved 2 years ago, so she's added in her local friends to that to ease some of the social isolation. Her in person classes are now online, so she's still engaged with that. Are they the same? No. Are they adequate.  Mostly.

My husband has worked from home for 20+ years, so we own a house compatible with this and we've  parented our kids according to a work at home and homeschooling lifestyle. His hours have been cut 50%, so our income is too, but we downscaled our lifestyle, paid off all debt except the house, which we had been paying off very early, and we have savings on hand to get us through even a job loss for quite a while if we live frugally. That reduces a lot of stress.

Our spring weather is beautiful and we've been in the process of establishing an orchard and garden since we've been here.  This spring was the first year we could put in trees (in Feb.) and veggies in Mar. and Apr. I had ornamentals I bought in late last winter to be planted now anyway, so I'm busy with projects I'd been looking forward to for years.

My women's Bible study from church and my Cuisine Ladies' Group are now on Zoom, so I haven't had to stop those. Is it the same?  No.  Is it adequate? Mostly. 

[sweet2ndchance]

I'm enjoying staying at home not because it is different than what we did before but because it is EXACTLY what were were doing before, we just aren't catching flack for it from everyone who thinks they know what is best for us or assume there is something wrong with us because we want to stay home all the time.

[TravelingChris]

16 hours ago, fairfarmhand said:

Same. I’ve always know this about myself but now I really feel it...I MUST have outside structure to be productive. I thrive with a deadline a place I need to be a time to get started.. and without that...I’m lost. It’s not that I always hate being at home. Generally id say I’m something of a home body. But forcing myself to do stuff with no time line...I just can’t. 

I am having an issue with this too.  In fact, I thought about this yesterday because dd2 was in the ER, semi-conscious and they were asking her easy questions which she couldn't answer.  As someone who had a concussion before, I know one of the questions they ask is what day it is--- since I have been homebound and especially since my dh has been (4 days after I started, his work started),  the only thing on a schedule is church service and we sometimes, like on Easter, don't even do it at the time it is broadcast-(it was 8:30 am only and we normally do the 11am service and we didn't get up early enough to be ready). 

And like Junie and Jean in Newcastle, I also have many health issues that often keep me mostly at home = from a few weeks or a week to months.  But the key there is mostly at home.  I still usually went to church.  I still went out to restaurants with my dh or one of my kids or any combination of the preceeding.  Because I can;t do much, I really looked forward to being out and going to a movie, concert, museum, garden. etc/   The main way I tolerated bad pain and s*cky health was looking forward to those kinds of things and even more, to vacations.  I am very glad my Reformation tour to Germany and Switzerland has been postponed to 2022 (due to Oberamergau's Passion Play being postponed till then) because I knew we couldn't go with this pandemic and at least we will be getting our money back.  But I still want to go to some places.  

 

[Spryte]

Every family is going to be different.

We’re a mixed bag here.  For the most part, everyone is settling into a new routine and happy.  DS (16, extrovert), yesterday said, “This self isolation isn’t really fun, but I like that it’s bringing us closer together as a family.”  

We homeschool - so you’d think no adjustment there, but I find the stress of what’s happening impacts all of us, so I’ve changed up our schedule and loosened things up a bit.  We’re still getting it all done, just differently.  Some outside classes are now online, which was an adjustment, but works.  DS has always been a project kid, so this is just giving him more time for deep dive, detailed projects.  He’s heavy into character development now.  Digital art has exploded here.  
 

DS and DD spend a lot more time on their phones, FaceTiming friends.  DD (8) has learned to have entire play dates via FaceTime.  That’s pretty cool.
 

We have at home movie nights every Tuesday, instead of going to the theater now.  Concession stand with three different flavors of popcorn, drink choices, tickets.  Kids take turns picking the movies. Akeelah and the Bee was last night.  Sundays are pancake brunch.  Saturdays are filled with extracurricular zoom classes.  I don’t want to fill out weeks with theme days, but it helps to have a few pegs, that mark the time passing in a significant way.
 

I’m on the introvert side, but in some ways I seem to be struggling more than the kids.  I’m happy to have DH home - that part is wonderful (he’s usually in Europe for most of the spring).  But I can’t shake the feeling that I must do a giant project every day - cleaning or organizing or something - and that’s just not enjoyable.  Plus, there’s not really time.  We usually eat out a lot more, or order in, and now there is more cooking, there are more dishes, more laundry, more cleaning.  I find dealing with groceries and packages to be stressful.  My mother’s care has fallen to me completely, without aides coming in to bathe her or help with her bedside commode.  She needs help with the daily activities of living, so it’s a lot of work. There really isn’t time for massive projects, I don’t know why I’m carrying that idea around!

Overall, I like our family members, and am happy to be home with them.  We are all, mostly, more relaxed.