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Donna

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About Donna

  • Rank
    Hive Mind Queen Bee

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female

Contact Methods

  • Biography
    I have been homeschooling for 14 years though only my youngest is still home now.
  • Location
    NJ
  • Interests
    Taekwondo
  • Occupation
    Physical therapist for kids under 3yo.

Recent Profile Visitors

390 profile views
  1. Donna

    Packing help: 10 day trip to Israel

    Dd and I travel often. We are able to pack for both of us for two weeks in one small carry-on suitcase by packing clothes for half the trip (planning to wear each bottom twice and layering other outfit pieces) plus a day and plan to do laundry for the other half (hotel sink and hang dry). We usually carry one extra pair of shoes though we rarely use them. We each take along a backpack with our computer, toiletries, chargers, and a small cross body bag for carrying around while sightseeing. For the long plane ride (we just flew back and forth to Bangkok--24 hours on plane), we stay awake through the first meal then go to sleep for most of the flight, waking for another meal prior to landing. We are vegan so order special meals on the plane prior to flying. Bring along an empty water bottle to the airport and fill once you are through security--purchasing bottled water at the airport is expensive and it's important to stay hydrated. Pack at least an outfit or two for each family member in a carry on bag just in case any checked luggage is lost or delayed.
  2. Donna

    Travel plans for 2019

    Dd and I have a bit of a crazy first few months of 2019- Thailand for two weeks leaving next week, Ireland a week after we get home from Bangkok, then straight to Quebec after that. We'll be in Texas in March, a tour of the Northeast US in May then possibly western Canada and the northwest US though that's not confirmed. That's the first half of the year...still working on the last six months but so far there's a tour along the west coast and possibly Ireland again in the fall with a possibility of England and Scotland but we'll see as the year progresses.
  3. Donna

    Making kids practice...

    When my dc started music lessons, practice was just something they did. It was part of their daily schedule like eating, brushing their teeth, or doing schoolwork. It became part of their routine that way. I would not have expected them to take the initiative to practice on their own, though I did have one who did. I think the trick, as a parent, is making practice enjoyable with games or stickers or whatever motivates that particular child. There are very few children who begin an instrument (especially their first instrument) showing a giftedness for their instrument. It takes practice which makes them more proficient which leads them want to practice more.
  4. Donna

    Would You Expect Your DH to Say Something?

    I agree. The MIL was being rude. She and the other DIL could easily have spoken about planning another trip to NY at another time and not in front of the DIL being excluded. It is about defining what is appropriate in your presence and clearly defining boundaries within the relationship. It is fine to be closer to certain family members than others but it is not okay to be outright rude.
  5. Two quick little brags this week... Dd, who struggles with severe test anxiety especially in math, spent two weeks studying for hours every day for her Statistics final. She took the DE course online but had to take the midterm and final in person at the school and proctored. She studied for the midterm, got a 95 on the practice test, then blanked out on simple things on the actual midterm and ended up with a 73. She was so nervous about the final because she really wanted an A in the course. She went through an entire notebook doing practice problems I wrote out for her each day in preparation for the cumulative final and just found out she got 100%. The other is she was invited by someone very prominent in the Irish music world to record on a huge project in February and though I can't share what it is until everything is worked out, I had to tell someone.
  6. She and my dd would get along well. Dd reads articles and wonders if people even edit before they publish something. She thought about sending a letter to the New Yorker after reading it in a doctor's office asking if they would like to retain her services as an editor.
  7. For me, the impetus may have started out (in childhood) feeling worthy or fear of not being perfect enough. My father certainly didn't help with my perfectionism. He always pointed out my failures, "Why did you get a 99 and not a 100? (insert punishment of choice)" I felt like he only showed love when I was achieving something...perfect grades, sports accomplishments, good deeds, cleaning the house, cooking for the family, etc... When I look back on my childhood, though, the things I remember most vividly are the times I didn't measure up. I don't know. I may have been a perfectionist anyway. I know my dd has never been made to feel she must be perfect and her perfectionism reared its ugly head when she was so young. She was the youngest and the only girl and everyone always loved her and doted on her but she was very hard on herself even as young as two or three...for example, talking to violin teacher rather than trying something she couldn't do on the first try or running crying to her bedroom if she spilled something even though she was never in trouble for spilling something. Seeing my tendencies in her that young made me work hard to help her every way I could. I worked to change her mindset by being very careful how I phrased things- we practice to make things easier rather than practice makes perfect, allowing her ample time to experiment when practicing violin so she could make mistakes and turn them into something new, and making sure to love her for being her rather than anything she accomplished (this last may have been overdone because now when she accomplishes amazing things, to her, they are just, eh). Now, for me anyway, it definitely anxiety driven. I cannot relax if my house is not clean or if I am going to be late to something even if it is out of my control like a traffic jam. I won't even speak in a group, for example at work, unless I am 100% sure I am correct even if everyone is just throwing ideas out to discuss and it has nothing to do with what others will think because everyone is just talking and some people's ideas are not accepted by the group and that's okay. I wish I could be more relaxed about things and I envy people who don't seem driven to try so hard but are happy with some things being good enough because, really, why does everything about me have to be to some impossible or nearly impossible standard? Maybe it is a personality trait or has to do with being introverted or maybe some people have more "self talk or self criticism" going on in their heads because I really don't feel like it has anything to do with social acceptance. I see people of all types accepted all the time and know people will accept me if I'm not perfect. I just don't feel comfortable inside myself with any perceived imperfection.
  8. As a perfectionist and the mother of a child who tends toward perfectionism (it took a lot of work over many years to temper this in her though it still sometimes rears its ugly head), I don't see it as driven by a desire for social recognition but as an internal drive. I am very hard on myself. I remember every "mistake" and beat myself up over them way longer than other people remember them...actually other people probably don't even notice many of the things I beat myself up over. Perfectionism sometimes keeps me from trying things I might enjoy or enjoying things I try. Like someone else mentioned, I only feel like I can relax if my house is perfectly clean. We rarely have visitors so it has nothing to do with social recognition.
  9. I would love to be able to but with all the travel dd and I do, it would be near impossible or would require way too many other things like maps, GPS, pay phones or could we use a dumb phone? We use our iPhones for directions, weather, Uber or Lyft for transportation when we don't have a car with us, looking up vegan options while traveling, ordering in food when there are no good vegan options available within walking distance, booking gigs, connecting with other people about gig logistics, and dd uses her hot spot for internet for her computer so she can get her schoolwork completed when there is no wifi available or when it is sketchy. Also, we are able to get sim cards in different countries to cut costs on phone and internet services...I don't remember being able to do that before we had smartphones.
  10. Donna

    2018 Year in Review- Day 1/2

    Day 1: New house in a new state and no job (by choice) Day 2: Travel opportunities abound.
  11. Donna

    Go to the coach?

    Oh, dmmetler, so sorry your dd is going through that! It is a hard situation because it seems getting involved as a parent when they get to be teens (unless it is obviously bullying or someone might get hurt physically), might tend to further isolate them from the group. My dd and I are very close and she tends to tell me everything so I would be her sounding board and offer advice when asked rather than get involved by going to another parent or coach. I think it is difficult when you want to protect them as a parent, let them handle certain situations because they are growing up, and keep them feeling like they can talk to you about everything. FWI, my dd is older than yours and still not interested in dating or a relationship. She is interested in the opposite sex as a future option but she thinks teen drama is ridiculous and doesn't feel she has much in common with people around her age.
  12. Donna

    Uber, Lyft, or just regular taxi?

    I use Uber or Lyft. I have both apps on my phone and we use whichever is least expensive for where we want to go. We mostly tend to go with Uber and have used it in just about every state with no problems even in NYC, Boston, Milwaukee, and Philadelphia.
  13. Donna

    What gift did you always want as a kid...

    I wanted a horse. I never got the real live horse I asked for every Christmas...only little plastic figurines. 😒
  14. Goals for 2018: As our homeschooling journey is winding down, I find it fun looking back on the goals I wrote previous years. We did manage to sell our home and move. As a result, I was able to take a break from work for dd's last couple years of high school and dd has been able to tour more extensively with her music. She's had some really awesome gigs and experiences and the memories we've made with all the travel together have been worth the lack of funds from my not working. Dd did take six DE credits in the spring (and kept her GPA even with her extensive touring schedule) and she took another 11 credits this fall which are finishing up now. She has continued working on her novel though with all the travel and college, she has not had the free time she'd like to write as often as she'd like. She managed to polish more than two new classical pieces and recorded two of them with an accompanist- she had not performed classical violin with a pianist in a couple years. We leave for Thailand right after the new year so not quite met in 2018. She has toured and spoken to the heads of most of the universities/conservatories she is considering and now knows what she doesn't want though she has not quite found exactly what she does want. She completed one recording project recently and the other will be completed in February. She continues to make progress with learning the Irish language though that has also suffered with the business of life. We both understand more than we can speak but we are improving. The goal she did not complete was the photography project but she changed her mind on it and decided to begin a vegan blog instead. DD's Goals for 2019 - Continue to do well in her college courses (a longer term goal is to earn her associates degree by the time she graduates high school in spring 2020). - Come to a decision on where and what she'd like to study for college. - Complete and release the recording project she's scheduled to do in February then tour the project. She's very excited about this project because she is collaborating with someone she's admired musically for years. - Continue to travel with her music (so far she's scheduled to go back to Thailand in January, Ireland and Canada in February, and numerous gigs around the US are in the works for the rest of the year so I am fairly sure this goal is a given). - Complete novel and attempt to get it publish or self-publish. - Continue with vegan blog and get more followers.
  15. Donna

    Is anyone watching The Walking Dead?

    I just got caught up. The last episode was really strange.
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