OP went way beyond one incident to describe her son in a very unfavorable way. Sure, he threw a temper tantrum and she is angry. But she comes off as having general animosity toward him. And I see Correlano beat me to it.

May be.... but once she called him opportunistic, I just didn't want to anymore. I will stop reading this thread completely now.

I have NO experience with anything you described so this might be as useful as last year's snow, but anytime I see my kids dealing with any kind of strong emotions or situations, I try to acknowledge it to them and talk it through it. I tell them that I see what they are going through and that they need and either explain why things have to be different or why they have to wait, etc. I don't know how old your boys are but I would be saying to DS2 - I know you probably want Daddy and he REALLY wants to be here with you and he will be but in X hours, etc. Basically, I try to make sure that kids know that their feelings are known to me, important to me and I also want to make things better if I can. And if I can't - I am there for support. Many hugs to you!

I had to stop reading somewhere in the middle of the first page. It sounds like you REALLY don't like your son and it was hard for me to keep reading. You called him stubborn and opportunistic. You also sound very judgy about how he spends his own money. You didn't say one nice thing about him. There are always three sides to every story and while he might not have behaved in the best way, he is still only 22, but you, as an adult, seems to be fuming with soooo much anger towards him..... If my parents thought that poorly of me, I would very much try to stay away from them.

Well, may be that's how a "child" would take it, but that wouldn't be MY reason. It's not the anger that would make me not go to a church wedding. Holding a certain belief would make me not go. And this was just one example. My overall point is that I don't understand the concept of "putting relationship above everything else" bc if the other person does something you find immoral or goes against of who you are or what you believe at your core - how can you have an unchanged view of the person or continue the exact same relationship? *you - as an general you.

To answer OP - yes I think relationship can survive, but I think it will change. May be not better or worse, just different. If, for example, my child was getting married in a church (we are not Christians), I would be VERY upset and probably angry and most likely wouldn't go to the wedding, but I wouldn't cut them out of my life and would have to re-adjust various aspects of the relationship. It's hard for me to understand the concept of putting relationship with family above everything else bc if the person in your family does something that goes again your own values, believes, morals - how can it not change the way you see them or the type of the relationship??

She sounds like she is doing a job of a mother's helper while wanting to receive pay and treatment of a nanny. So I wouldn't be paying for any time she is not there, regardless of whose "fault" it is.

I don't know!! He was doing so well during lessons but then would just do a terrible job when writing during all other times. So i stopped AAS bc it just seemed like a colossal waste of time Someone on here suggested Apples and Pears but I am at a loss if I want to spend money on another spelling program or it is all just a lost cause.... But the time I came to US and learned to speak the language I was almost college-age and I never had any "spelling lessons", but I think I just naturally do it well, so I don't know if it's one of those "you either got it or you don't" things

RE: people making comments. It always reminds me of a book "I was a really great mom before I had kids". Everyone is an expert on situations they know NOTHING about. OP - you HAVE TO tune yourself out from those people and those comments. Bc even if you weren't doing right by your parents (which is obviously not the case) people who don't know you or your life should not judge.

Here is the truth, from someone who grew up in a culture where parents were taken care of by children and families were super close. You are in a super hard place and it sounds like you are doing an amazing job. The fact that you haven't lost your mind yet and functioning this well shows a very tough character and super strength. Kudos to you. Don't let the guilt eat at you, that will absolutely destroy you. I am watching my husband being eaten away by guilt of not helping his parents enough (in HIS opinion, he is doing plenty!!) and I think it has significant effects on his health.

Thanks everyone!! I appreciate all the ideas and suggestions. Husband spoke with our police, they won't file a report. Oh well. He will be calling post office tomorrow. It makes me super cranky when I have to waste my time and energy bc of the crap other people do. Super cranky!!!

OK, I cancelled cc, they are sending me a new one. I set up alerts and my husband said he will go to our local police station - just in case - to notify them of the 5 address changes. Now I just hope and pray that this is where it ends

what company was it? Mine is chase. I've had them for over 20 yrs!!!! And yes, I like the cash rewards. I've received THOUSANDS of dollars over the years 😞

Arghhh, I know you guys are right but I just hate canceling my cc. I know the number by heart, I have other bills "tied" to it.....arghhhhhh

I can't contact USPS on line bc "request is still in progress". I will have to wait until tue 😞