If you are "close" to extended family, does your spouse know your siblings' spouses' birthdays?

[unsinkable]

Define close however you want.

IOW: If you are close to your sister, does your spouse know your sister's spouse's birthday?

[MysteryJen]

I don't even know my sibling's spouses birthdays. 

Are we supposed to know those things? 

[klmama]

I only know one of my siblings' spouses' birthdays, so I wouldn't expect my dh to know!  Off the top of my head, I don't know his siblings' spouses' birthdays, either.  I know the months of his actual siblings' birthdays, but not all, and I only know the specific date of one, simply because it's the day after my mom's.  That's what calendars are for - to keep track of this stuff.  

[RootAnn]

8 minutes ago, klmama said:

I only know one of my siblings' spouses' birthdays, so I wouldn't expect my dh to know!  Off the top of my head, I don't know his siblings' spouses' birthdays, either.  I know the months of his actual siblings' birthdays, but not all, and I only know the specific date of one, simply because it's the day after my mom's.  That's what calendars are for - to keep track of this stuff.  

Yep. I don't know my DH's brother's birthday or SIL's birthday. The only reason I know FIL's birthday is that it is close to DD#1's and he usually points that fact out. My siblings' birthdays and their spouses' birthdays are on our calendar. We don't do anything to make note of them, however. I can barely remember my own kids' birthdays. I forget to call my mom on either of her two birthdays almost every year. This year, I made up for it by calling her a week early. (Oops!)

[kbutton]

I am terrible at birthdays. It would take work for my DH to be worse, close or not! 

My mom tries to text me around important birthdays so that I can give a call. If a card gets mailed and mailed on time, it's a miracle.

[marbel]

I can't really answer; my siblings haven't had spouses since well before my husband and I met, though I am pretty sure he wouldn't know them. His sibling has no spouse.

I'm just wondering why you are asking. Seems like there must be a good story to the question. 

:-) :-)

[JustEm]

We're really close with my family. We see many of them twice a week. I currently live with my parents and plan on doing so indefinitely. We are currently planning, with 2 of my siblings, to find houses in the same neighborhood so we're all closer.

That all being said, I don't even know my siblings' spouses' birthdays. I have a good general idea of when they are but the actual date. I also don't know all of my niece's and nephew's bday, but I have 18 so I think that is ok.

Dh likely knows more of my family's bdays than idea, but I'm not sure.

[unsinkable]

20 minutes ago, MysteryJen said:

I don't even know my sibling's spouses birthdays. 

Are we supposed to know those things? 

 

 "Are we supposed to know these things?"

 I don't know what people are "supposed" to know...

but I do want to know what I asked in the poll. No one needs to participate if they don't want to.

I don't think that by making the poll I am indicating that people are "supposed" to or "expected" to know this.

 

[unsinkable]

1 minute ago, marbel said:

I can't really answer; my siblings haven't had spouses since well before my husband and I met, though I am pretty sure he wouldn't know them. His sibling has no spouse.

I'm just wondering why you are asking. Seems like there must be a good story to the question. 

? ?

Hahaha...no good story this time! It is pretty mixed in our families so I was wondering if that is universal.

 

 

[purpleowl]

We kind of have a freebie on this one. Each of us has one married sibling. And those spouses (DH's brother's wife and my sister's husband) have the same birthday. I just quizzed DH (wasn't sure if he would have the exact date or just "late November") and he knew it.

 

[maize]

Nope.

I don't know my siblings' spouses' birthdays either.

Nor do I know my spouse's siblings' birthdays except for the one whose birthday falls on a holiday that is hard to forget.

An organized member of dh's family sends out an updated birthday list on occasion so I do have a reference should I decide I need to know someone's birthday. My family also has a list but I doubt Dh knows where to find it.

[AmandaVT]

No. I have one brother and I know my SIL's birthday. Pretty sure DH could maybe guess that it's in the winter. Maybe. 

[Farrar]

All power to anyone who wants to celebrate their own birthday, but birthdays just aren't all that. Kid birthdays deserve lots of fun and joy. But adults? Like I said, everyone is welcome to do it their own way - I have friends who really do theirs up every year and that's totally fine. But I'd wager a guess that the vast majority of adults are kind of over their birthdays. It's not a holiday, for goodness sakes.

If birthdays are important to your siblings, spouse, or parents, then remembering them does seem like something you should do. But the tyranny of, "Remember MY birthday!" comes off as rude to me. And your in-law's spouse? I mean, come on.

[happypamama]

I know my husband's sister's husband's birthday and can probably remember my sister's husband's birthday.  I doubt my spouse remembers either of them.  He does remember my birthday.

[gardenmom5]

I know my in-laws birthdays - all of them.

dh hasn't a clue about my siblings. (little contact.)

[JustEm]

10 minutes ago, Farrar said:

All power to anyone who wants to celebrate their own birthday, but birthdays just aren't all that. Kid birthdays deserve lots of fun and joy. But adults? Like I said, everyone is welcome to do it their own way - I have friends who really do theirs up every year and that's totally fine. But I'd wager a guess that the vast majority of adults are kind of over their birthdays. It's not a holiday, for goodness sakes.

If birthdays are important to your siblings, spouse, or parents, then remembering them does seem like something you should do. But the tyranny of, "Remember MY birthday!" comes off as rude to me. And your in-law's spouse? I mean, come on.

 

Birthdays are holidays in this family. They are a celebration of life why does that stop when childhood stops.

But people outside of the immediate family remembering my birthday isn't something I expect. It is nice when people you don't expect to know actually do though.

[happi duck]

I think we both know the general time but not the exact date.  So "end of April" vs "April 28".

[Loowit]

I don't think he knows even my sibling's birthdays let alone their spouses.  I doubt he knows his sibling's spouse's birthdays either.  I also doubt that DH knows that today is my mom's birthday.   I know most of them, and the ones I don't I do know the month.  But it isn't like I set out to know the dates, it is just something I tend to remember.

[wendyroo]

2 minutes ago, happi duck said:

I think we both know the general time but not the exact date.  So "end of April" vs "April 28".

This is us as well.

I know that DH's sister's husband's birthday is a few days before Thanksgiving.  This is about the same level of precision he and I have for all the birthdays in our extended families.  We know the exact dates for our own parents and siblings, but just a general time frame for aunts and uncles, spouses, in-laws, nieces and nephews, etc.

Wendy

[katilac]

He doesn't know my siblings birthdays and I don't know his siblings birthdays. 

Two of my siblings have 'easy' birthdays to remember. The other sibling and my parents do not, and I can never recall them offhand. I remember the month for my sibling, and I remember that one parent is this month and the other parent is the next month, lol. Thanks to a great sister, I never actually miss the dates, lol. 

dh and I can both name our anniversary date if asked, but we both tend to forget about it when it occurs (although digital calendars help with this). 

Neither of us tend to remember death dates, even for people close to us. 

I think some people are just more date- and milestone-oriented than others. 

[BarbecueMom]

I don't even know all of my own siblings' birthdays, let alone in-laws and spouses.

[MysteryJen]

1 hour ago, unsinkable said:

 

 "Are we supposed to know these things?"

 I don't know what people are "supposed" to know...

but I do want to know what I asked in the poll. No one needs to participate if they don't want to.

I don't think that by making the poll I am indicating that people are "supposed" to or "expected" to know this.

 

I didn't think that you thought that we were supposed to know that. I just wondered if it was yet another thing I was failing at regarding my siblings and in-laws.

I can see a certain sil of mine thinking I am supposed to know her birthday....

[KungFuPanda]

I’m just happy DH remembers our birthdays. I don’t expect him to know when my mother or siblings were born. ? Besides, it’s all on a google calendar. Knowing off the top of his head is in the “asking too much category” and I certainly don’t want to memorize all of my Bil and Sil’s birthdays. 

[Catwoman]

We know all the birthdays. ?

I would feel terrible if I didn’t acknowledge the birthday of a family member or a close friend.

Birthdays are a Very Big Deal in our immediate family with lots of presents and special meals and the whole day out doing whatever the birthday person wants to do. It’s really fun! We even do a little “Happy Day After Your Birthday” gift the next day.

Birthdays are definitely considered holidays and celebrations at my house. ?

[Pawz4me]

Yes, but I only have one brother and my SIL’s birthday is very close to both of our sons’ birthdays. So it’s easy for DH to remember. But in general he’s more likely to remember dates than I am. 

[Targhee]

We are close to my family, but he doesn’t always remember MY birthday... it’s just him. He’s amazing, and I love him, but those kind of details don’t seem to stick with him.

[El...]

DH has the memory for dates, between the two of us.  He reminds me to call my siblings on their birthdays.  

[2ndGenHomeschooler]

We are very close to both sides of our family but neither of us know all the birthdays. I know all of my siblings (7 of them!) and my parents, I know FIL (same as one of my brothers), and I think I know MIL’s and DH’s brother. I know the month and early/middle/end for all my sibling-in-laws and nieces and nephews and a few exact dates if they stick in my mind for some reason but the family numbers close to 40 at this point and I can’t remember them all. DH is doing good to remember mine and the kids. LOL

[Annie G]

I knew my brother in law’s birthday because it was Cinco de Mayo and we always celebrated- he and sis got married when I was in 3rd grade. But I only know AT BEST the months of my BIL/SIL birthdays.  So no, dh doesn’t know that, nor does he know my siblings’ birthdays. 

‘We live 900+ miles from any of them so there hasn’t been birthday gatherings to help us remember them. 

[QueenCat]

My husband knows my sister's and her husband's b/days... but my sister's is the day after mine and her husband's is on July 4th. I don't have any other siblings.

[regentrude]

I myself don't know my sibling's spouse's birthday,  my sister doesn't know my DH's bday, and DH doesn't know my siblings ' birthdays. 

[Arcadia]

My husband doesn’t know my only sibling’s birthday but knows it’s in May. I don’t know my brother’s wife’s birthday because he didn’t tell me. I give her gifts when I find something so not birthday gifts.

My husband’s brother and wife is on Facebook so Facebook would remind me. His sister is on Facebook but not her husband so I only know his sister’s birthday. I wrote down my in-laws birthday because my husband can’t remember and I have to remind him to pay his siblings for the group present. 

[Mimm]

We are very close in my family and no. For that matter, I only know vaguely when my brother-in-law's birthday is because he lives in town and its' very close to my husband's and one of my brothers' birthday.

[Liz CA]

I can place each of dh's 4 brothers in the right month but may be off by a day or two. I also know 2 SIL's  birthdays (the month) but since I have a special Birthday calendar, I can look them up. Dh remembers most of his brothers - but gets their wives' birthdays mixed up. Sometimes, he even gets the wives mixed up as in who is married to whom. :)

Edited August 25, 2018 by Liz CA

[SKL]

I'm not married.  But I think my sisters-in-law make it their business to know these things.  I think it is considered a female role traditionally.

I don't think my brothers even remember my birthday, LOL.  My sister often sends out a group email reminding people whose birthday it is.

[Pam in CT]

Heavens, he doesn't know our own kids', or mine, or his own siblings'.  I mean, he could call them up to fill out a form or something, but he doesn't register them as they come up.  The extent to which birthdays are marked varies widely from family to family, I think.

[Terabith]

No.  But when we had been dating/ together for a short time in college and I asked him his birthday, he gave me the wrong date.   He only occasionally knows our children’s birthdays, or ages.  Birthdays aren’t big in his family of origin, and he is not good at that kind of detail.  

[Guest]

No; I am The Keeper of The Birthdays around here. I do know most of the birthdays of all of my spouse’s siblings mates. There’s only one I can’t say exactly, though I know the month. 

I even remind dh of his own siblings birthdays. 

[Scarlett]

15 hours ago, happysmileylady said:

Not off the top of his head.  But he them all in his budget spreadsheet in the calendar tab and has them set up to show up on the front page of the sheet a week ahead lol.  

I also know his sister’s birthday.  

As far as my siblings spouses birthdays,  I know both of my sisters DHs birthdays but my brothers wife is against birthday celebrations so I don’t know hers  

That cracks me up, that she is against bd celebrations so she won't tell you her date of birth.  

I have this annoying thing where even though I have never celebrated bds I remember the birthday of anyone I have ever known.and wedding anniversaries ( which I do celebrate) and dates of death.    Since there are only 365 days in a year and I am 53 now my head is about to explode with dates and I am tired of it.   I also remember my XHs SS number.  And my own, and my sons......I almost have dhs memorized.....I also remember the birthdays of XHs mom, and his 3 brothers.  I do not however know any of dhs siblings or their spouses birth days.

dh, who lost his dad when he was 12 does not know the date of death.  He said he never wants to be sad about his dad.  

[LMD]

Uh, luck is totally a superpower! ? just watched that the other day!

We're not that close to my family. We are close to my in laws and yes I know my husband's siblings spouses birthdays. 

[Carrie12345]

That's what Facebook is for. ?

It doesn't really apply in our life. I have one step-sibling who is married, and they live in another state. I want to say my step-brother's birthday is in February? No idea when his wife's is until I get my internet reminder.

Growing up, we basically celebrated almost all the adults' birthdays at once, in August, where there were 4 or 5.  Grandma's is celebrated at Thanksgiving. Everyone else (adults) was pretty much SOL, lol.

[Guest]

5 hours ago, Scarlett said:

That cracks me up, that she is against bd celebrations so she won't tell you her date of birth.  

I have this annoying thing where even though I have never celebrated bds I remember the birthday of anyone I have ever known.and wedding anniversaries ( which I do celebrate) and dates of death.    Since there are only 365 days in a year and I am 53 now my head is about to explode with dates and I am tired of it.   I also remember my XHs SS number.  And my own, and my sons......I almost have dhs memorized.....I also remember the birthdays of XHs mom, and his 3 brothers.  I do not however know any of dhs siblings or their spouses birth days.

dh, who lost his dad when he was 12 does not know the date of death.  He said he never wants to be sad about his dad.  

You need to download some of that info to off-site storage, lol! 

I do not have this talent of which you speak, but I do remember a lot of little facts like that which have not been relevant to my life for decades. Things like the phone number of my childhood friend, the middle name (an unusual one) of a guy who rode the bus with me. My old boss’ dog’s name (Velvet). 

But remember to bring home a gallon of milk? Pfssshhhh! 

[scholastica]

My siblings are both divorced, so no need to remember those birthdays. I know all the birthdays of my dh’s siblings spouses. I know the birthday of my one sibling’s SO. I don’t think my spouse has ever been given that info.

[wintermom]

I'm going by what I know of my in-laws' spouses, rather than dh. I only know 1 birthday and that's only because it's the same date as dh's sister.

I know all the children's birthdays, though, and there are a ton of kids. I think that is way more important than the adults.We actually exchange gifts with all the cousins who live in the same city. 

Edited August 26, 2018 by wintermom

[catz]

We have celebrated most of Dh's family birthday for years and I don't know most of them specifically.  I know roughly the time of year for most.  There are a couple near my own and my daughter's (we have b-days 2 days apart) I can manage to remember a little better.

DH has no clue.  I do have a sibling with a b-day on a major holiday.  That still seems like a surprise to him.  We don't really celebrate with my side so much any more though.  

[TechWife]

None of my siblings has a spouse, so I selected up your last choice. 

[ashfern]

I know my sister's ex-DH's birthday because it's one day off from mine. I don't even know what month her 2nd DH's birthday is in. I don't think I've ever been told my other sister's DH's birthday. I don't think my DH knows his sister's DH's b-day so there's no way I would know it either. 

[Rachel]

My husband has one sibling, they are close but I don’t know her birthday for certain (I know within a few days) and I don’t have a clue what month her husband’s birthday occurs. 

I have 5 siblings, my husband couldn’t name even the month of any of their birthdays. I think I’m lucky he remembers my birthday, birthdays weren’t really observed in his house growing up.