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Pam in CT

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Pam in CT last won the day on May 30

Pam in CT had the most liked content!

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About Pam in CT

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    Qualified Bee Keeper

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    Reading, writing, gardening, taking (not especially good) pictures, knitting. Not interested in: ironing

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  1. My husband will drive/steer/sail just about any form of conveyance just about anywhere. It is one of his most cherishable qualities and has enabled us to do all sorts of things and have all kinds of experiences that would otherwise simply not be possible. We've rented cars all over the world, with all kinds of languages and alphabets and driving conditions, including long before the invention of GPS which makes the undertaking massively easier. I myself am substantially less intrepid: I'm not comfortable driving *myself* on the "wrong" side of the road, nor would I want to drive on my own in countries in which I can't reasonably expect to communicate if there were a fender-bender or minor accident requiring a hospital visit. I've actually rented by myself in the Netherlands and Germany; and would be perfectly comfortable doing it in Belgium Switzerland and Austria as well. Roads are better than here, signage is better than here, rule of law is better than here (i.e. you won't get policeman holding out for bribes etc as can happen in some places), and sufficient people speak English that in the event of a run-of-the-mill hiccup you'd be fine. Have a great time planning and doing..
  2. ((hugs)) My father-in-law was treated in his late 70s and is still going strong in his late 80s. Lifetime smoker until the treatment. My father was diagnosed at 84, treated unsuccessfully and miserably, it spread fast and he died about a year after diagnosis. Non-smoker in fantastic shape who was regularly up on ladders as a Habitat foreman until the time of diagnosis.
  3. To my reading, what came through Algernon and your first post, but even more so this one not what I would label as an issue of "respect vs disrespect," but something more along the lines of "ignorance is bliss." Is it better to be content as a pig in the mud, or is it better to be eternally filled with angst and dread at the existential state of the universe/ darkness at the heart of humanity/ the calamitous nuclear holocaust or climate catastrophe or whatever that looms before us. Neither is a particularly spectacular option, right? But your question centers on *how Algernon experiences his life,* not on whether others looking in from the outside would be willing to trade places with him. I am pretty hesitant to romanticize/ label as positive the interior experience of a person with ID, any more than I'm comfortable romanticizing the interior experience of people who (for example) live in conditions of extreme poverty in picturesque pastoral places. If it's not a walk I would myself willingly trade for, and it isn't, I'm pretty reluctant to label it "contented." But "respect" for me is a different dimension than that.The way I understand the dual usage of the word "respect" is much more along what Farrar is getting at here: and I would say that "respect" in the sense of "deferring to authority demanded solely as a condition of [age/ role/ gender] is overrated in many pockets of American society. I'm with the several pp who indicated that true respect in the leadership sense of authority can only be *earned,* not something any of us are entitled to just by virtue of age or whatever. Everyone, no exceptions, certainly including people with ID, deserves to be treated like a person, with dignity and courtesy. That is different from deference or obedience.
  4. I mine. Pretty much magic, yeah. I sleep deeper, twitch less, toss less, stay *much* warmer (one of the many reasons I wake up multiple times a night is that I always get cold, ALWAYS, even in summer, even with heavy socks, once I'm asleep). One of my three kids has & loves one. The rest of the family is quite sure we're both whackadoodle. My husband calls mine the "chastity blanket," LOL. I think if the idea calls out to you (or your husband), it's likely to be good. People know when it's likely to make them feel calmer.
  5. (whispering) ** turns out it really doesn't much matter what most other folks think about our own / our kids' decisions ** "Thank you for your input" is a complete response to just about any unsolicited input. Really.
  6. Oh, Stacey. I am so sorry. Holding your husband, those children and everyone else affected in the light.
  7. "dealing" with moles for *decades*, here This. In our experience, there's no such thing as permanently getting rid of moles. Even if you're willing to use non-safe dangerous-to-pets products. Which around my rosebeds, whose roots the moles love, I am. With relentless diligence you can encourage them *away* from particular, finite areas... and over to other areas, or over to becoming the neighbors' problem. For a small lawn, I'd try the castor oil (they love rose roots too much for it to be effective there; we have to use the toxic underground smoke bomb things you put into the tunnels. And even that is only good for a couple of months; they come back.)
  8. That is one special kid you got there. Modeling to US, he is. I'm glad you're hanging in, and helping to work out the kinks.
  9. (( @heartlikealion )) thank you for trying. For trying to better understand the circumstances, for trying to figure out some way to help people who are clearly suffering, for trying to sort through and articulate your thoughts. Trying to make a difference, even a very small difference, is very often not particularly gratifying in the moment. It takes a while to find the right entry point, something that fits our disposition and style; caring for children may not be the best entry point for you. There are many, many other ways; I hope you hang in and find one that works for you.
  10. What would it take for any of *us* to pick up our kids and take them to our southern border right now, knowing how they'll be treated once they arrive? The lure of below-minimum jobs in the meat-packing plants and agricultural fields and construction crews and hotel cleaning services and back kitchens of restaurants notwithstanding: it's not like we're putting out a welcome mat. Home, by Warsan Shire no one leaves home unless home is the mouth of a shark. you only run for the border when you see the whole city running as well. your neighbours running faster than you, the boy you went to school with who kissed you dizzy behind the old tin factory is holding a gun bigger than his body, you only leave home when home won't let you stay. no one would leave home unless home chased you, fire under feet, hot blood in your belly. it's not something you ever thought about doing, and so when you did - you carried the anthem under your breath, waiting until the airport toilet to tear up the passport and swallow, each mouthful of paper making it clear that you would not be going back. you have to understand, no one puts their children in a boat unless the water is safer than the land.  who would choose to spend days and nights in the stomach of a truck unless the miles travelled meant something more than journey. no one would choose to crawl under fences, be beaten until your shadow leaves you, raped, then drowned, forced to the bottom of the boat because you are darker, be sold, starved, shot at the border like a sick animal, be pitied, lose your name, lose your family, make a refugee camp a home for a year or two or ten, stripped and searched, find prison everywhere and if you survive and you are greeted on the other side with go home blacks, refugees dirty immigrants, asylum seekers sucking our country dry of milk, dark, with their hands out smell strange, savage - look what they've done to their own countries, what will they do to ours? the dirty looks in the street softer than a limb torn off, the indignity of everyday life more tender than fourteen men who look like your father, between your legs, insults easier to swallow than rubble, than your child's body in pieces - for now, forget about pride your survival is more important. i want to go home, but home is the mouth of a shark home is the barrel of the gun and no one would leave home unless home chased you to the shore unless home tells you to leave what you could not behind, even if it was human. no one leaves home until home is a damp voice in your ear saying leave, run now, i don't know what i've become.
  11. FWIW, the forensic expert whose general statement about general hypoid bone fractures was included in WaPo's origin story about Epstein has issued a statement, including both a clarification that he did not himself examine Epstein body, and also that such fractures are "well recognized" as possible in suicides by hanging.
  12. In *my* world, planning now for a fall vacation does NOT count as "last minute," LOL. A few years ago we were waiting on a rescue dog, not sure when things would work out, so I couldn't plan a vacation for the interval my kids had vacation. (Fabulous, ) dog arrived with us 9 days before vacation, sending me into a scramble to find somewhere a) I could drive to, while b) taking the dog and kids, that was c) close enough to an airport that my husband could join us efficiently; and d) warm. I ended up with a dog-friendly VRBO in St Simons GA, one block in from a beautiful white sand beach, easy walk into the super-cute town with mini-golf and cafes and a slew of dog-terrace restaurants. Everyone recalls it as one of our best vacations. I think (? can't quite remember) my husband flew in/out of Savannah. In any rate, the flight was direct (from NY, so lots of places are direct) and given the truly-last-minute not too expensive.
  13. FWIW, the WSJ is reporting that it was Epstein's own counsel who requested he be taken off suicide watch.. ... while AP is reporting that the federal MCC in which he was being held (which has also held such high-profile individuals as Reza Zarrab, Joshua Schulte and El Chapo over the last two years, every one of whom have had reported... "irregularities" during their time there) is suffering such extreme staffing shortages that Back to the WSJ account, If the "irregularities" amount to a couple of overtired/ short-staffed guards not being too fastidious about ensuring that an entitled serial child molester is protected from self-harm... well. Not protocol for sure; and frustrating from the vantage point of victims wanting justice; but hardly the stuff of global murder conspiracies or gripping suspense fiction.
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