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Pam in CT

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Pam in CT last won the day on January 30

Pam in CT had the most liked content!


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    Reading, writing, gardening, taking (not especially good) pictures, knitting; (recently) reading court filings. Not interested in: ironing

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  1. re The Cycle Mmmm. Well, I've also noticed that shortly after the "I'm OUT!!" departure flounce... 3 2 1 ... there is, more often than not, a return appearance.
  2. re "edgelords" v "trolls" Oh that is a very useful insight; thank you. IME trolls don't *generally* own up to their actions either, LOL, that's not the game; but the insight about edgelords playing and/or perhaps genuinely viewing themselves as victims is useful to differentiate. In either case, the best response seems mostly to be: don't feed it. (I also find it helpful to think of "troll" as a verb, rather than a noun.)
  3. re "right to __________" vs "Constitutional right to __________" I could get on board as well, with an ethical right to _____ or a human right to _______. I'd add "basic health care" and "safe housing" as well. Hard pressed to cite the substantiating Article in the Constitution, though. IANAL, and perhaps the right scholar could glimpse the midrash between the lines; and other scholars could squint a different interpretation. But that's what I mean by conflating "Muh Constitutional Right!!" with "I Hate This."
  4. Why... why do we even HAVE profile pages, except to be looked at? I've definitely hit into them accidentally, usually when aiming too-carelessly at the "like" button and inadvertently hitting onto the name of someone who's already "liked." But I've also definitely gone looking into them, trying to find a prior thread I kinda-sorta remember the poster having once started, or if someone's just joined a social group and I want to modulate my own tone/response to how the poster presents, or if another poster has sparked my curiosity by nosing around in mine. Why... why do we HAVE them, or put content into them, if not to be seen? (Missing something obvious evidently...) Concur with pp about using words that have a particular meaning loosely/rhetorically -- it's both painful to those holding lived experience of the real thing, and also robs the language of its power and meaning. (I feel the same way about choosing the term "rape" to refer to deforestation or hard business negotiation; or the term "lynching" to refer to pointed Congressional questioning. Just... dial it back. Manners.)
  5. This is more or less my take as well, although I maybe associate "edgy" as having a slight connotation of nervous energy as well. Provocative but maybe a little wobbly at the same time. OMG THANK YOU for this story you've MADE MY DAY
  6. LOL to the bolded. It truly is remarkable, just how often "it's against the Constitution" is understood to be a synonym for "this really irritates me."
  7. Re Art Student League of New York Yeah, it is *amazing.* Check out some of the top-name artists who've gotten their training there. (I didn't fully appreciate how *serious* it is, when S signed up for her first class there as a 16 yo -- my NYC born & bred SIL had urged it on me and offered to house her for a 2-week summer seminar, and I generally take my SIL's counsel; so had just sort of gone along with it. It is a Big Deal -- and some of the instructors only accept students whose prior work they've seen -- but also tremendously accessible; a true gift of the city. But what S has found, repeatedly, is that a whole lot of serious artists really *want* to nurture young people coming up. There's a generosity and openness in the field that is really inspiring even to folks like me who (pretty much) don't have a clue. One time when she was quite young -- sixth or seventh grade, before I understood how serious she was -- she and I and my son tagged along a business trip to LA with my husband, and we visited the Getty while he was working, and upon arrival as she was going over the daily program she noticed that an hour-long open sketching session *in the sculpture gallery* (not a live model, which at that point she'd never had; nor even a painting) was about to start. We all three plonked down with craypas and sketchpads, and my son and I were good for (oh, maybe) forty-five minutes, then ready to go... ...but she wanted to stay to the very end. So, OK, he and I wandered off, and thereafter went onto an hour-long docent talk/walk about the architecture, then wandered around looking at other exhibits, and then finally after 2+ hours I texted her to find out where she was. STILL IN THE SCULPTURE GALLERY, turns out. Astonished, we returned, and there she was sitting with one of the docents, a pile of earth-colored craypa and charcoal and white oil pencils (?) between them, and a CRAZY COOL 3'x2' gray-paper drawing before her, he having demonstrated this technique I can't describe (but which she continues to utilize) of assigning different colors to different light values and thus being able to "paint" with (any colored) 4 or 5 pencils. As she cleared her stuff out, he sort of nodded at me and muttered something like, keep taking her to museums. Yes, well, thank you.
  8. I'm so sorry so many of you have struggled to get good art instruction. Through a combination of our location, and sometimes pushy persistence, my now-at-art-school daughter has been very fortunate to get excellent skills instruction. Try museums / galleries / art guilds, if there are any nearby. That's where she's gotten the bulk of her technical skills. Her earliest (and priciest) classes were at a nearby gallery/ guild / school, that runs both fun camp-like programs and also more serious instruction. She started doing summer camps and afterschool classes there as a kindergartner. Through that, she found one early painting teacher and thereafter another true mentor. She took (and continued this last summer, post-high school) to take tons of classes in all sorts of media there. She's also had the opportunity to compete and show in first youth, and then adult, shows through that. (They also theoretically limit the adult classes to 16+, but once she'd shown her work they allowed her in from age ~13-14 on.) We're close to Weir Farm, one of only two National Park sites that focus on visual art (here's the other; they have programming as well). They have visiting artists in residence, who run (usually adult-only) classes. At my pushy dance-mom request, one such visiting artist went over her "portfolio" when she was in seventh grade and let her take his adult class, which actually was one of the turning points in her development. That octogenarian, immensely gifted, immensely kind man is another true mentor. We're also close to an outstanding contemporary museum that really punches above its weight, which -- like Silvermine -- runs open sketching nights with live models. Her participation in those sessions -- while not teaching skills -- delivered her another mentor; and also gave her access to a *different* guild in a different town in whose shows she was able to participate. And the last place she's taken *extremely good* and jaw-droppingly affordable classes over the last few years has been at the Art Student League of New York... but she's fortunate to have grandparents, aunts & uncles, and an older sister who've been able to house her and help her navigate the subways to get there. (Since COVID they're doing some online classes, as has Silvermine; but I understand your strong preference for in-person.) She also plans museum visits around open sketching hours and docent talks, and has learned a LOT that way, usually at no cost at all. So I guess my ultimate advice would be: don't look for a "class." Look for nearby institutions -- museums, galleries, guilds, contests -- and hoover up whatever open-sketch or gallery/docent talks or whatever -- they have to offer. What S found is that her training and opportunities sort of hopped from one mentor figure to another.
  9. (Before COVID) At those ages... I most often booked everyone on an aisle, all clumped together (10C and 10D, 11C and 11D, 12C sort of model). Randos tend not to bug folks who are obviously traveling together. Also, noise cancelling headphones, God's gift to women traveling on planes. You don't even need to play any content, just pop those puppies on as soon as you buckle up. I don't have any need to be in the same row as my traveling companions; we're traveling together; we'll get plenty of one another's company. Plane rides are strictly an ordeal to be endured; if you're more comfortable on the aisle (all of us ultimately are) then just do that.
  10. Maybe take a look at some of the teen volunteer programs that the Appalachian Mountain Club runs. It's not (at all) the same thing as OB, but might check off some of the boxes. One of my very active young cousins did a couple of those before working fulltime for a summer as "krew" (?) in one of the White Mountain Huts, and found the experience quite formative. (She's a guide now for an operation in CO.)
  11. re "soft place to land" Eh, I don't know how long you may have been on the WTM boards under a prior name. I'm old enough to remember a whole lot of enthusiasm for "first time compliance, with a smile." Or else. All right already, we heard you the first six times, kwitcherbellyaching with a eyeroll tossed in for effect, is a whole lot softer a landing place than some of the pearls of wisdom that I've long seen endorsed (by some) on the boards. YMMV obvs.
  12. re long slow immensely wearisome slog to get to Theory of Mind LOL To be fair to adolescents, eventually coming to realize that pretty much sums up the second task of their developmental stage. [The first task being "differentiating from parents."] Those two tasks are, literally, the WORK they need to get through in order to come out autonomous and productive and healthy on the other end of the stage. Both of those young-adults' tasks are exhausting, and often irritating, to parents. In earlier developmental stages, and also -- keep the faith-- later stages, it's more obvious that parents and kids are more or less on the same team. Not so much adolescence.
  13. One of my dearest friends is a woman I met when our now 22 yos were starting Montessori preschool together, age 2. From the outset, our now-young men *could not be more different* in just about every imaginable dimension, and they went off to different schools after kindergarten; and long ago the two of them grew apart, but she and I remain close. For a good 10 year stretch there, whenever I asked her how her son was doing, she'd roll her eyes and answer, "he is a pain in my @ss." And then there was a later 5 year stretch, whenever *she* asked *me* about *my* son, I'd roll mine and answer the same way. And b'h, they're both fine young men now. And so too will yours be.
  14. Frist? Mostly art but very well curated exhibits on particular historical subjects, and within easy walking of the Broadway scene and Country & Music. I saw this exhibit several years ago on prison labor in the Angola penitentiary whose images *still* come surging back.
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