I am grateful for my ds8. He is my wild, generous-hearted, energetic, perfectionistic, knot-headed, justice-loving, amazing boy. He is a natural protector, and his very challenging little guy phase has given way to a boy determined to emulate his father’s example of providing and caring for his family, starting with me. I can feel my Father’s love for me when I consider the gift of this incredible child.

Things are going to be tight for us next month. Between dh basically only getting in half a month of work this month with our son’s surgery and hospitalization, our travel expenses to bring him to the rehab clinic out of state, having gradually depleted our reserves since March, and that we will be giving this month’s foster care reimbursement check to the friend who is taking care of our foster girls—it’s going to be very, very tight. I normally stock up on cheap or free freezer turkeys in November to cook and use the meat in place of chicken in dinners, but am not home to do that right

I am grateful for my dd10. She is my sensitive, perceptive, deep-thinking, artistic child. I adore this gentle-hearted girl. She brings so much joy and beauty into our family. I love this intensely feeling, loving girl with all my heart, and can see God‘s love for me in the gift of this amazing child.

I am grateful for my dd11. This amazing, strong-willed, vivacious girl made me a mother. She has so many talents and strengths, and is a leader by nature. I love her so much, and I have faith that the God who would give me such a child must love me immensely to bless me so.

I am grateful for all the work and care and efforts of the medical professionals on behalf of my little boy. So many at the two different hospitals that I have trouble keeping them straight—orthopedist, two neurosurgeons, urologist, spinal cord injury specialist, rehabilitation physician, oncologist, neuro trauma recovery specialists, physical therapists, occupational therapists, and more amazing nurses than I can count. They are saving his life and his physical functions, and also his quality of life.

I am grateful for the wonderful people who have stepped in to help us during this time. We have had the kindest friends and relatives caring for our animals and our other six children, even as it has turned out to be longer than we could have predicted. How amazing is someone who steps up to care for three kids for an entire month? It has been a huge blessing to be able to focus on weathering this crisis and know that the rest are being so well cared for.

I am going to try this, as a method to focus on gratitude this next week—even though this is a very difficult time to do that. Or, maybe especially because this is a very hard time to do that. I welcome anyone so inclined to join in with me. Here goes. I am grateful that, when Ri fell from a tree several months ago, we were set on the path of discovering what was wrong with my little boy earlier than we otherwise would have been. If it had been even just a month longer before we found the tumor, it likely would have caused far more (potentially permanent) damage to his nervous system

Our plan before these last few weeks was to set aside what we would have otherwise spent on gifts for each other this Christmas, as well as our birthdays and anniversary next year, and instead go on a trip for just the two of us together as soon as travel is an option again.

Nothing. Or rather, a month of both being there for our boy when he most needs us, rather than being off earning money at our normal income rate. I like that much better, that’s much less depressing.

Ri is working hard and making progress every day. He loves the physical therapy. Occupational therapy, not so much. In his little free time, he is enjoying exploring all the public areas of this large hospital, as he was stuck only on the pediatrics floor of the last one. He zooms all over the place in his little wheelchair, often wearing his Flash superhero costume, and is beginning to have people who recognize him stopping to chat with him all over the hospital. We are concerned about his surgery incision site, which was kind of red and puffy after the long drive down here, and is n

We got the pathology report back!!! The tumor is a pilocytic astrocytoma, which is pretty benign. We have high hopes that this means he won’t need chemo or radiation therapy, but we won’t know until his next MRI in three weeks. We made it down here okay, and Ri met his therapists and was evaluated by them. Tomorrow the work begins.

We aren’t down at the rehab clinic yet. We were told late in the day on Thursday that they wouldn’t have a bed available for him until Monday, so that’s when we’ll be driving down. He is making lots of progress on his stamina for sitting up and his pain is down a ton, so maybe making the drive a few days later will be better for him anyways. Our childcare arrangements for our other bio kids were up on Friday morning, though, so we are taking turns being back with them at home (just over an hour from the hospital). We’ve also had our foster girls back home some, but not as much—they can’t b

He is definitely going to the two-week physical therapy rehab clinic, and they are talking about sending him on Friday. We’ll be driving him to the city about 4.5 hours south of here (or normally that long; we are going to have to stop for lots of breaks and he is going to have to lie down across the seats for most of the trip). Apparently he has to be checked out of the hospital and into the clinic within one business day, because if he spends a night out of a facility the insurance will balk at paying for the inpatient clinic under the argument that he clearly doesn’t need inpatient care.

There’s no way we would ever consider leaving our six-year-old alone at some place. That has never been on the table.

In our own state, we are a million miles from everything. There are no large towns in our state within four hours’ drive. But we live only slightly more than an hour from the state capital of our neighboring state, which is where our boy is currently hospitalized. If we lived in this state where we are now, we could have the in-home therapy sessions, but apparently our home state will not allow it.