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About Condessa

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    Hive Mind Queen Bee

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  1. My kid with cancer has developed a phobia of needles. Here are some things that have helped a bit. -Lidocaine numbing cream (slathered on thickly and hour and a half beforehand, then covered with Press n' Seal wrap, so the entire section of arm is well and truly numb) -Not allowing the nurse to try to reassure/talk him into it beforehand. This only gives him more time to work himself up. The "little pinch" phrase is the worst; it's like a signal that the torture is about to begin. -Not asking it of him to hold still for it. It's too much to ask, and much easier on him to jus
  2. My (church) friends from college mostly have kids quite young, too, except for one who went through major fertility issues and now has two little ones ten to fifteen years younger than his friends' oldest kids. My college roommates had their first kids at 21, 24, 25, 26 and 29. My high school (non-church) friends mostly still don't have kids yet at 35. One has a five- and a two-year-old, one has a one-year-old, the rest are childless. I'm a major outlier in that group.
  3. I worked to support us through most of dh's law school so we could keep our debts lower, and I was so ready to be a mother before that but waited for practical considerations. So, technically you could call that delaying, but I was really young by normal standards, shy of my 23rd birthday when my oldest was born. I had the others at 24, 26, and not-quite 28. I loved being a young mom. It was the right decision for me, but I recognize that a lot of women aren't ready yet at that age. However, I have discovered that pregnancy at 35 is a monster compared to pregnancy at 22-27. I keep co
  4. There are absolutely people who don’t lie. Just because studies show that lying is normal doesn’t mean that an individual person is a liar.
  5. Excuse me. Either a liar or otherwise misreporting what occurred--even though no one involved, anywhere, has made any claims to this effect. ETA: I didn't post the slides.
  6. They may not be able to say what the other reason for failing him is, but legally speaking, they absolutely can say that he is incorrect.
  7. I'm not drawing universal disquiet from that. I am saying that until/unless someone else with knowledge of the events suggests otherwise, there is no reason to call the boy a liar. There hasn't been a single source or bit of publicly available info that contradicts his allegations/version of events.
  8. One party says A happened. The other party does not dispute that A happened, but does dispute whether what they did was wrong. I don't see how it is logical to assume that B is actually what happened, when no party involved is claiming that B happened. ETA: None of the other students have said that A didn't happen. They haven't come forward in public support of the student's fight with the school, but neither the other students, the teacher, or the administration has claimed that it didn't happen.
  9. Well, if one of my kids comes to me upset saying a sibling did A, and the sibling essentially responds "I still think I was right to do it!" I don't decide that what really happened was B. I believe that A happened and then sort out whether or not A was the wrong thing to do.
  10. But wouldn't the school have said he was lying? Wouldn't they have made some public statement that the boy's report of it was incorrect, that the teacher never said that, that his failing grade was received for ____ reason, not what he thought? When one party says such-and-such happened, and the other party involved doesn't contradict them, even though it paints them in a bad light, why decide that the teen must be wrong, even though the school didn't disagree with him? It seems like a real stretch. Unless the school issued a statement of that kind that I missed.
  11. Intersectionality, as I have had it explained to me here in the US, is absolutely understood to be hierarchical. On the hierarchy are a number of categories such as race, class, gender/sexuality, religion, which seem to be accorded different weights, and different levels of "privilege" within each category. Like the wheel someone demonstrated. Where a minority group falls depends on the success that minority has achieved as a group overall, more than on historical disadvantages. Thus Jewish people and Asians are deemed to be barely less privileged than white people.
  12. What was so bad was that they were failing a biracial student and denying him graduation for refusing to publicly outline the oppressor/oppressed elements of his heritage in class. The school didn't alter their position on this until his mother made a huge public outcry over it.
  13. Ouch! I recall once when I was a daycare teacher before I had kids, my coteacher wanted to skip sunscreening the little black girl in my class before going out for recess because she "didn't need it". Idiot.
  14. I know they do. Just in my family personally, though, my paler kids burn way faster and worse than my daughter with a more hispanic complexion.
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