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Everything posted by happypamama

  1. I have to say: a lot of the info on that page is just plain wrong, according to current ACOG guidelines. Crisis level in pregnancy is 160/110, and eating healthily, exercising, etc. will not prevent preeclampsia. I'm quite appalled that the MOD can't get their info from ACOG.
  2. Okay, I want to clarify a few things here. One, Pregnancy Induced Hypertension is an outdated term. The current term is Gestational Hypertension (new onset of high BP after 20 weeks), and I'd be cautious about any provider using PIH as a term, because it may mean they are not up on the current guidelines and standards of care. Preeclampsia is GH plus one additional criterion such as proteinuria, labwork, certain visual disturbances, pulmonary edema, and so on. Both are serious because they are on the same spectrum of placenta-mediated illness. American guidelines call for meds to be started at or around 160/110, whether for GH or for preeclampsia. Meds will not mask PE; if you do have PE, then you'll likely see BP continuing to go up even with meds. If you're hitting 160/110, either number, regularly, meds really should be given to keep your BP in a safe range. If you're unsure, you can ask to see a Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist. They don't like to start meds until you're getting close to that upper point because they don't want to reduce blood flow to the baby, but too high is no good for you or baby either. In addition, BP meds will not slow the process down -- they can sometimes manage the one symptom of blood pressure IF that's the only thing going on, but they won't stop GH from turning into PE, and they won't stop PE. (Case in point, I was put on BP meds, but four days later, things went catastrophically badly -- my BPs hit 200/130, despite additional meds, and then my son's placenta completely crashed, necessitating a crash delivery at 26 weeks.) American guidelines call for delivery for both GH and PE at 37 weeks. Some doctors like to push that if it's GH, but guidelines from ACOG do say 37 weeks for either. For severe features (protein is not a severe feature, but labs can be), delivery at 34 weeks is recommended. I know that sounds scary, but 34 weekers mostly do tend to do very well. BPs at 160/110 can count as preeclampsia all on their own, even without that second criterion, and 34 weeks may well be indicated. I would be asking why they don't feel you have severe features, and if they feel you do, why they don't want to deliver at 34 weeks per guidelines. If you're on Facebook, I moderate a huge Preeclampsia support group there (30,000 people and 50+ posts a day all about preeclampsia and related topics) and would love to have you join us, so we can give you additional help, at https://www.facebook.com/groups/preeclampsia
  3. For books, Goodnight Goodnight Construction Site and Tap the Magic Tree (and others in those series) have been favorites of my most recent toddlers.
  4. If it's socially acceptable to have one, get it for him, and use something like ScreenTime to set what he can and can't do on it and when.
  5. My first three arrived, spontaneously, at 40 and 6, 41 and 1, and 40 and 5. So we expected our fourth to be late as well. He made his appearance, spontaneously, at 38 and 3. Yes, I was very sure of dates with all the kids. Number four was also smaller than his older siblings; he was right in line with them for gestational age, so I am sure he would have been their size if he'd waited another week or two. Number five, again spontaneously, made his appearance at 40 and 4, again, perfectly in line for size. (And just to round things out -- number six was a micropreemie at 26 weeks, and number seven was induced at 39 and 0. Should I have any more babies, MFM will not want us going past 39 weeks. Part of that is because I had a precipitous labor that lasted barely an hour and a quarter with number five and because I had a c-section for number six, and nobody wants to take the very real risk of me having a VBAC on the side of the road since I'm almost an hour from the hospital. I also have health conditions that mean the placenta is more likely to give out if we go too long. There is no difference other than size between my fourth and seventh babies and their older siblings.)
  6. I've had flat top glass electric for the entire time we've been here, and I use cast iron almost exclusively. You know me -- do I seem like someone who would be super careful, me of the "everything needs to be Tonka tuff because boys" family? I mean, we don't slam the cast iron onto the stovetop, but we easily use cast iron anywhere from 1 to 4 times a day every day, and we've had no problems. As for my stoneware and pyrex that can't go on a hot stove, I just keep a pretty trivet next to the stove and will set them on that right out of the oven. Or on the stove if the stove isn't hot. I can't remember the brand off the top of my head now. It's not super super fancy, but it had to have a Very Large burner option for my 15" cast iron skillet, and I also wanted it to have the dual burners on the side for using an oblong cast iron griddle.
  7. Does trading memes from various fandoms with my teen count? Lol. Ok, I enjoy knitting, sewing occasionally, trying new recipes sometimes, reading sometimes, and volunteering for a nonprofit that is related to a health interest of mine. I'd love to be a NICU cuddler, but those roles have lengthy waiting lists. If you don't like to read, maybe audio books? I have not always been a big audio books person, but sometimes listening to something slows it down enough so I don't gloss over the dialogue. I'd love to garden, but that requires more time spent in the sun than I want.
  8. Rizzoli & Isles White Collar Mindy Project Parks and Rec I like 911 and 911 LoneStar too. Nurses was pretty good. For comedy, Home Economics and Call Your Mother were both okay, and I liked the short-lived The Kids are Alright too and wish it had been renewed. I liked Schooled and Single Parents okay too. If you can handle the gore, and if you liked the book, the miniseries of Catch-22 is really good and well-done. There's one scene where I just lost it, like completely lost it, and my husband had to stop the show until I got it together, so be warned.
  9. Only my 19yo can drive on her own yet, so I have to take the others. I make appointments for all but the 19yo because I can't legally make hers anymore since the portals kicked her over to her own. For the most part, she makes her appointments online, same as I do, or the office calls us to make appointments. The boys are all on my portal, so it's super easy. I scheduled the 12 and 16yo boys together last time. We use a family doctor who sees all six kids plus me; she's female, so I've told the boys that at whatever point they feel uncomfortable seeing her, we will ask to switch to the male in the practice (or to the male at a different practice that DH sees). So far they haven't cared, and they haven't wanted me (or their brother) to leave the room either (but also the doc doesn't do a private area check on them at this stage). It was completely NBD last time at all. Actually, I think my 16yo is relieved to have me (and his outgoing younger brother) in there because otherwise he'd have to talk more, LOL. My 19yo has been to the GYN herself (I did go with her the first time because she was a minor and because I'd met the GYN and liked her, which is why I had DD see her -- but that wasn't an especially sensitive topic, no private area exam needed), but I've also, at her request, been to certain doctors with her. She's been trying to get some answers about some things (non-GYN/personal related), so I offered to go with her to the specialists as a second set of ears, and she definitely wants me to do that. I've basically said, "I'm not allowed to make the appointments, but I'm very happy to come along any time you want, but I of course won't be upset if you don't want me there."
  10. Ok, Hive! Our original color is no longer available, and so I'm considering going in a completely different direction. This will be a laundry room/bathroom combo. It's not a very big room (he's a genius and has worked so hard to come up with just the right floor plan), so that's an important factor in the color decision. There's a door from the kitchen (which is a sunny pastel-ish yellow) into the room. On the right will be the washer and dryer; the room is not much wider than those two together, and it's about 16 feet long. To the left will be a small utility closet with a 3/4 bath behind it. So it's one room but kind of split into two sections, laundry and bath. Appliances and cabinets are white, and the sink and fixtures will be chrome. Trim will be white, most likely. Tile is a light tan, I think. The wall opposite the door is almost entirely windows. So, there are not a lot of great expanses of wall, but my husband really doesn't want too dark. Also, the house is 1830s, so while we've modernized it, we usually try to keep a classic sort of look, generally no ultramodern. So, would you go not too light, not too dark on the walls, and keep the shelves above the washer/dryer and such bright white? Or would you pick a neutral wall and go with pops of color for the shelves? I won't go completely neutral for everything; there has to be some color somewhere. Have some fun and tell me what you'd pick! (PS -- I have looked at pinterest, but I haven't found just what I want yet.)
  11. Especially with younger children, we really don't use electronics for schooling. They do typing, because it's expected that kids know typing these days, but that's really all. Everything else is books and papers and me as the teacher, with the occasional looking up of something or watching something as an extra. The extras for which we use electronics are just that, extras -- bonuses that we have because of tech, but not replacements for anything. Could I school without electronics? Of course.
  12. In our state, we have multiple sets of requirements. For homeschoolers, there are a bunch of subjects that have to be taught between 7th and 12th grade, not to any particular amount or degree, just that they have to be covered at some point in those years. Then we have a set of requirements for a high school diploma if you are a homeschooler. (It is slightly different from the public school diploma requirements.) Those requirements overlap a bit with the 7th-12th grade requirements. So there are two things to satisfy: one is the homeschool law, and the other is the law for a high school diploma issued by the homeschool supervisor. It's slightly confusing but doesn't really mean anything in actual practice. So, we have to cover health, but we don't need a credit or half credit or anything, just some proof of covering health at some point between 7th and 12th grade. What a college may require may be slightly different though, so always check about that. My best advice is to find a group specific to your state and ask about requirements there. People who actually homeschool in a state have a better handle on what it looks like in practice and what the laws actually mean. (My state is actually pretty easy to homeschool in, once you understand the law and its silly hoops, but on paper, it looks harder, and people freak out.)
  13. Intro to Writing or whatever it was called at a big university when I was in school was a solid course. I don't remember a lot of details, but we wrote several different types of essays and papers and received feedback. That's what I would expect.
  14. Kitchen and dining are Glidden Sunbeam (the sweetest, sunniest light yellow that makes you smile when you walk in), with white cabinets and trim (and a few dark red accents as concessions to DH). I' Bathroom is Glidden Atlantic Blue (light brightish blue but not pale), with grey cabinetry and white trim and white built in shelves. Our new bathroom/laundry room will be pale aqua with white trim. Not sure about the built ins yet. Family room and office are warm cream, as are several hallways and other rooms, Glidden Gold Coast White, I think. The built ins in the family room and office are painted with a medium stain, can't remember which one DH used. Foyer is a sage green, again with stained built ins. My schoolroom is currently the cream plus French Country Blue. I like it, but the blue is more periwinkle -- it's still pretty, but it's turned out to be a bit of an odd shade for coordinating, so I'm likely going to redo it in a few years. Not sure what color yet. I really want a bold teal somewhere, but husband is very skeptical. He thought the Atlantic Blue for the bathroom would be too dark because it's not a huge space, but I liked it, so we went with it -- and then he decided that I was right haha. I love all the colors we've chosen so far! And yes, we have a lot of custom built ins because my husband loves me. 😉
  15. Husband is two years older than I am. We met, officially, when I was in ninth grade, at a school club; his family had also recently begun attending our church. It was pretty immediate chemistry. He was smart and polite (which is more than I could say for the boys in my grade), came from a nice family, similar backgrounds, very similar values and goals. Dated for two years, then he went off to college, so we did long distance for two more years, then I joined him at college, and we got married a couple of months after we graduated college together. Amusing anecdote: we have identical SAT scores, just flipped. I have always assumed that was so that neither of us would ever be able to claim we were smarter than the other. 🙂 Another amusing anecdote: since we lived in a smallish town, our paths had crossed a few times in middle school but not in any meaningful sort of way, just the vague "oh yeah I know who he is" way. But when I was in sixth grade and he in eighth, we were both in a newspaper photo with a group of essay contest recipients. I happen to be standing directly in front of him. It amuses me so much that we had no idea that that was our first family photo!
  16. Also for streamlining -- this sounds counterproductive, but since my main helpers are pretty young still, and we have two refrigerators (plus a minifridge in our room for some things), two freezer parts in the refrigerator, a chest freezer, pantry space, and backup pantry space, it can be confusing -- I have the kids unload the bags from the car (after pickup, mostly -- no delivery here), and then I put the stuff away myself. That way I can make sure I rotate the dairy products, put meat in the correct freezer and veggies in the correct one, keep all the extra condiments and crackers and such together. It's worth it to me to take that extra time to save the hassle later when I can't find the extra cream or something. I do sometimes give a kid a specific item to put in a specific freezer, but most of it, I just do myself. They can develop their own organizational tactics when they have their own kitchens.
  17. My best tip: just buy the extra chargers for the tablet, laptop, phones. . . I have one for my phone in each vehicle, one that lives on my desk, one that lives on my kitchen counter, one by my rocking chair in my room, and one by my side of the bed. I rarely need to move any now. The extra cash is worth the ease.
  18. Okay, I did not read all of the replies, but I have a couple of thoughts. One, since they'll be several hours apart for a couple of years, I think they should probably not get engaged or make any official plans for marriage until they've been through at least a while of that separation. It's easier to quietly go your separate paths if that's what turns out to be right for them if you haven't made a big announcement or bought a ring, kwim? Two, I wonder why his parents are so upset? Three, ten years of dating seems like quite a lot considering they were almost adults when they started dating. But, I would have your daughter and her boyfriend consider the issue of children. If she intends to go to grad school but gets pregnant before that, how will that change their plans/affect her school and career plans? I say that because I do know a couple for whom that happened, and it changed a lot. DH and I met in eleventh and ninth grade, respectively, and we had been dating for almost two years when he went off to college about five hours from home, and before cell phones and texting. It was rough on young love, for sure, but we did make it work (we are both super introverted people who had not dated other people prior to meeting, so that wasn't really a big concern), and we were together at college for three years before we graduated together (he took a fifth year, and I graduated a year early), so we got married when we were barely 21 and 23. He went on to graduate school, but I did not, because I had no desire to do so, but there was no reason for us not to get married at that point; we had been dating for almost seven years by then. Honestly, if we'd been able to afford to do so, we'd have gotten married sooner, while we were still in college, but when you're in fulltime school, it's hard to have a fulltime job enough to support yourselves. I don't know what we would have done if he'd graduated while I had another year, if he'd gone off to grad school several hours away without me. Maybe just done another year long distance? Maybe I'd have transferred? I don't think I would have dropped out. I did have moderate student loans, while my husband did not, and we did make sure that he understood that I'd have the loans going into the marriage. He didn't especially care, but they were not astronomical either; people take on car loans bigger than my student loans. I worked while he was in grad school, and then he worked fulltime, while I worked parttime until we had our first baby, almost four years into marriage, and the student loan payments were modest. We did pay off the last chunk eight years after graduation, when we sold our second house. So it seems reasonable to me that they wouldn't make any permanent plans like marriage until your daughter has graduated from undergrad, but I can't imagine wanting to wait after that, and had anyone suggested we do so, we probably wouldn't have listened to them. 😉 We celebrate our 23rd wedding anniversary later this summer, 30 years together in the fall. We'd both do it again in a heartbeat.
  19. I can say, without reading the entire thread, that there is a lot on Quill's original list that I did not know how to do. Some of it (boating, for instance) I only knew because my boyfriend's family spent time fishing on a boat and took me along. We didn't have metro or other public transportation in our area growing up, and we never flew anywhere. So yes, it was a little intimidating to do some new things when I was in college and as a newlywed, but I learned. Actually, moving nine hours from home to a major city when I was a newlywed and fresh out of college was probably really fantastic for me, because I suddenly had to learn a lot of new things. I'd never had a reason to parallel park before, for instance, and my interstate highway driving experience was very limited, but I became proficient at those things quickly. And nowadays, kids can look up so much on the internet, ask a wider range of people for advice, etc.
  20. I did yesterday while grocery shopping, and it totally felt like I was breaking the rules!
  21. I did yesterday while grocery shopping, and it totally felt like I was breaking the rules!
  22. Appetizers, sandwiches, snacky sorts of foods, because they're easy to nibble on when your squished stomach has little room.
  23. We have a unit per bedroom and office (so five there), plus one for the family room since it has its own door, plus one for the schoolroom. That one is a large unit that also cools the kitchen/dining room. It is generally enough, except in the hottest part of the summer, when cooking is a bit warm. Bathrooms are not cooled.
  24. Really good Indian food that I don't have to cook myself. Crabcakes or steamed crabs, even better if they come from my favorite restaurant in the Outer Banks. Barring those, shrimp or scallops, and even better if they're on top of a steak, with baked potatoes, mushrooms, and asparagus. Really, anything with shellfish. Before covid, my husband and I loved a local Italian-ish restaurant that had fancy stuffed pasta, as well as another place, owned by the same people, that serves Belgian food. I'm picky about meat in restaurants, but this place has an entree that is three different types of German sausages, and IIRC mashed potatoes. They also serve amazing hand cut fries with a selection of dipping sauces. I really could just make a meal of apps and be super happy. I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to dessert, but cheesecake is always a favorite, although not dairy free. There's a local place that makes a massive mint chocolate ganache cake, so big that I can't eat it all in one sitting.
  25. Pick books to read, like 8FilltheHeart said. Perhaps add a few new ones in topics they haven't asked about yet, to pique interest. Throw in some of the Who Was or similar biographies. Get some kits or SnapCircuits if you want. Add some nature journaling if you'd like. HAVE FUN!
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