Do you have a desire to travel abroad?

[Ann.without.an.e]

My mom and sister have been taking annual trips for a while now. France, Italy, Scotland, etc. They always beg for me to come with them. I always turn it down. They think that I’m crazy for not wanting to go or that I have anxiety. My mom called me again today saying that they were planning to go back to Italy in May, but my dad has decided the he’ll go along and she’d rather not go than go with him (that’s  a whole other post lol). So she wants to back out but doesn’t want my sister to go alone or disappoint her by canceling. Her solution is for me to go. She says that I really should and how fun it would be. 
I have zero desire to travel abroad with them. Zero. I love them both but I don’t want to travel. 

I could only be talked into going to a few select places if it were for an anniversary and just with DH. 

Am I crazy or weird? I love my mundane life here. I find joy in the every day. I don’t feel the need to leave or go or be anywhere else. 
 

 

[Kassia]

I used to love traveling and now I don't.  I love my bed, my routine, my food, my house...  When I was younger, I would get frustrated because I felt my world was so small and I wanted to get out more and experience everything.  Now I'm perfectly content never leaving the house - it's really an extreme change.  We just got back from a short family trip.  It actually was a lot of fun, but we drove so I had the luxury of packing a lot that I wouldn't have with an international trip.  I'd prefer domestic travel over international, but I'd do international if it was a family trip and just deal with it I guess.  

That was a long answer.  😛 

ETA - three of my kids love traveling and go all over the world.  The other is a homebody and doesn't want to go anywhere.  

Edited yesterday at 12:10 AM by Kassia

[DawnM]

Nope, never go anywhere.  No travel ever.

 

 

 

🤣   Just kidding.   I travel a lot and have been all the way around the world a couple of times (trips that start on West Coast, go to Asia, head to Africa, stop in Europe, and then go back to the West Coast.).   On purpose.   

I couldn't afford it when the kids were little and we are trying to make up for some of that now.    

[Kidlit]

I love to travel though I do have some anxiety around flying and just general anxiety about the "what ifs."  (Yes, I am treated for anxiety, but it is still background noise in my life.) I can see the other side of that now that I'm 50, though.  I can see why some people don't want to.

[Amira]

I have lived outside the US for years, but I don’t actually like long-distance travel that much. We try to explore the country we’re living in as much as possible, we’ve done a tiny bit of regional travel (never more than a three-hour flight), and we’ve spent a couple of days in Europe a few times when we’re moving and have to fly through, but I’ve never ever gotten on a longer flight for the sole purpose of travel. Dealing with jet lag, a new language and currency, transportation, layovers, and flight delays all crammed into a short travel time isn’t that appealing to me. I don’t think it’s weird when people don’t want to travel. 

I love to feel at home in another country. That’s the best combo for me. I love to see new places on my own terms.

Edited yesterday at 12:29 AM by Amira

[City Mouse]

I would have no desire to travel anywhere with my sister or my mother (when my mother was still alive). I do like to travel inside the US with my DH. 

[HomeAgain]

I am a homebody.  I'm happiest in a quiet, safe environment of my choosing.  But I do like travel, even with all the inconvenience of it, and I really came to see the benefits of it.  Traveling has given me a broader perspective, introduced me to more ways of doing things and thinking about things, and opened up my mind.  It has given me perspective and memories I cherish.  I loved seeing Michelangelo's house and his personal paintings. I ran my fingers along the stone bases at Olympia where statues of athletes would have stood. I liked being part of protests in DC and watching people protest in France.  I stood in Mozart's childhood home and took a look at the puppets from Sound of Music.  I sat and cried in Dachau in the middle of a cold January day and bumbled my way through a Croatian market on a warm summer evening,.

I'm always glad to come home to MY bed and MY shower, but I do love what I get out of traveling.  I watched dh's coworker who had never really been out of the state except for military training, discover herself over the past year.  She was pushed out of her comfort zone to go to Europe for a few months.  And those months became more than a year.  But she had never really left the state or people who knew her and accepted her for who she was.  So it was a bit of a culture shock and she used to text dh often with questions and concerns.  But she is slowly getting much more comfortable and is seeing politics for the first time from a global perspective, which makes her shift her own point of view on many things that she took for granted as normal and the status quo.

 

[KungFuPanda]

If you’re a homebody who doesn’t travel much it might be in everyone’s best interest to stretch yourself and make some memories with your mother and sister. We can’t take our loved ones for granted and in healthy relationships you sometimes do something the other person wants. It means something to both of them. With your reluctance I’d be inclined to save my efforts for a trip with both of them. 

[madteaparty]

I have permanent wanderlust but as I’m getting older I find I’m less and less curious and adventurous (I was never hugely so but you know). I go to the same restaurants, do the same things, stay in the same places. 

[Pawz4me]

1 hour ago, Kassia said:

I used to love traveling and now I don't.  I love my bed, my routine, my food, my house

This is me, except I never really loved traveling. I've always been a total homebody. I did a lot of traveling because I thought I was supposed to, or that I would be missing out on something if I didn't, and mostly I hated every minute of it. But now that I'm old(er) and much more confident I have no trouble saying "no, thanks" to things I don't want to do. What I like is my cozy home with my things and my pets and sleeping in my own bed.

Edited yesterday at 01:13 AM by Pawz4me

[marbel]

You are not crazy or weird. If you don't want to travel, you shouldn't let people guilt you into traveling. There's nothing wrong with wanting to stay home. 

I've traveled some, not a lot. I once took a trip with my sister and it was awful; I hated it. The only memories made on that trip were bad ones. I have enjoyed traveling alone and with my husband/kids. 

You can make memories with your mother and sister without going on a trip you don't wish to go on. 

Now, if my husband wanted to go someplace, I'd go along with him. Different thing than mother/sibling. 

Edited yesterday at 12:57 AM by marbel

[Faith-manor]

Yes,I do want to travel abroad, a lot. But Mark is still working, and I don't know when we will be able to much. We have tentatively committed to a fall, 2025 trip to see my sister and brother in law in France. 

[regentrude]

I hate air travel, but I love spending time abroad. We travel to Germany each summer. We used to go for a month or six weeks when the kids were little, but since we now have cats, we can't be away for such a long time.

We travel a lot in the US, for several week-long trips and several weekends each year.

Edited yesterday at 01:00 AM by regentrude

[MEmama]

We travelled a lot when I was growing up, and my entire family except my brother still does every chance we get. It's never occurred to me to not travel; there are certainly places I don't have any desire to go, but I love to see new things and explore new places. That said, my favourite part of any trip is coming home. 
 

I'm thrilled my DS has inherited the family love of exploration. He's one of the most adventurous of us. 

[Carrie12345]

51 minutes ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

Am I crazy or weird? I love my mundane life here. I find joy in the every day. I don’t feel the need to leave or go or be anywhere else. 

If you are, so am I, and that’s fine.

The *idea* of traveling seems nice, but I love where I am.

I am hoping to take a trip with dh next year, maybe a Caribbean island, maybe not. But only for the purpose of spending time truly alone, with zero responsibilities. Not for the travel experience.

[bookbard]

If you don't want to travel, that's good! It is expensive and not great for the environment.

I love travelling overseas. I love that feeling of being in a completely strange place, surrounded by people who don't speak my language. I love new food, new sights, chatting to new people. 

When I was young I travelled a lot. Once I had kids, nothing for years. Last year though we went to Japan as a family.

I do get homesick after several months though, and when I come home I realise how lucky I am to live in a beautiful place that other people travel across the world to see. 

[chocolate-chip chooky]

For me, it really would depend on who it is with. 

Certain situations during traveling can be an adventure with one person and stressful with a different person. 

[Elizabeth86]

Oh gosh, once again we are SO similar. I want to collect every state and every national park, but no real desire to leave the country. I did discover Banff National Park in Canada and that might be on my list, but that’s it. There is so much even in my own state I haven’t seen. 

[Ottakee]

I love traveling and really have the travel bug the past few years.  Before that I was more of a homebody.  As a child we vacationed in the same place every year about 6 hour drive from home.

This year alone I have been to Italy, the easy coast, Mackinac Island, two trips to Georgia, and a 🎒 ing trip on South Manitou island.   If I could have swung it with work I would be in Belize as we speak with a friend.

That said, if you don’t enjoy travel, then don’t.   I would encourage you to do something with your mom and sister but it doesn’t have to be an international trip.

[Bootsie]

Yes, I enjoy traveling abroad.  I enjoy visiting seeing the sites and visiting museums.  I also enjoy things like visiting the grocery stores and comparing it to what I am used to.  

[Ann.without.an.e]

1 hour ago, Elizabeth86 said:

Oh gosh, once again we are SO similar. I want to collect every state and every national park, but no real desire to leave the country. I did discover Banff National Park in Canada and that might be on my list, but that’s it. There is so much even in my own state I haven’t seen. 

Oh I would LOVE to hike all of the national parks and explore the US. Canada could be fun too. Just not more international than that. 
 

I did a good bit of travel as a teen …. South America twice, Russia, Ireland, Australia, and Papua New Guinea. 

Edited yesterday at 02:45 AM by Ann.without.an.e
I can’t type lol

[mommyoffive]

I used to love love love to travel when I was younger.  I still like to travel to some extent, but I really am a homebody and just want to be in my own bed, with my own pillow, and on my own couch. But I still like to travel, especially to places I want to go to and do what I want. My younger traveling is well I was younger.  Things were easier for me.  Like taking 12 hour trip in economy to Europe.  I could bound up and handle a full day.  Now that makes me tired to just think about it.  Also I think more of travel is on my shoulders now than it used to be.  I plan it all and figure everything out.  I always get excited to go an a trip and then after doing all the planning, go through the work to get us all there I always say to myself why did I put myself through all this.  It is so much easier to just stay home.  Then most of the time I end up having a good time.

So I am a yes and no.

[Clarita]

3 hours ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

Am I crazy or weird? I love my mundane life here. I find joy in the every day. I don’t feel the need to leave or go or be anywhere else. 

I'm such a homebody. While I love the idea of traveling and visiting other places, I'd rather be home. My usual travel involves visiting family, they just happen to be oversees so I've been outside the US. If they didn't live so far away I might be that person who has never been anywhere. 

[SKL]

Mostly yes.  🙂

I have traveled a lot, and I've had many wonderful experiences.  I am a person who likes to experience things in 3D with all 5 senses if I can.  I've learned so much and gotten so much inspiration.

That said!  I don't always love every minute of it.  It depends on the weather, how easy it is to get around, whether there's a decent balance between rest and activity, how much work I have to squeeze into my "down time" (God forbid I take an actual vacation), and the attitudes of those around me.

If you haven't been to Italy, you might want to go just to give it a try.  It sounds like your prospective travel partners are positive about the trip.  May weather shouldn't be horrible.

I just went to Italy last month - it was a cruise, but I think 4 days were in different Italian locations.  The towns were nice places to visit.  Very picturesque.  (It was my 3rd time in Italy.)  Honestly, if I were you, I'd go and spend some bonding time with your sister.

[Corraleno]

I used to travel a lot, and I lived in Europe for 10 years, but as much as I love being abroad, I really hate all the hassle and exhaustion of getting there. When I was younger I could handle 24 hours of cabs/airports/flights/rental cars/etc. with no sleep and still be somewhat functional, but now just the thought of spending 11 hours on a plane from the west coast to Europe makes my back hurt. There are still lots of places I've never been that I would love to see, and some places I would love to return to (like Iceland), but I'd have to really really psych myself up for the "getting there" part, because I'd rather have root canal than spend 11 hours on plane.

[gardenmom5]

No, I have zero desire to go back to Europe.  Dh keeps wanting to go back to Austria, and I'm just done.
now, after talking to a friend who just did this, he wants to go on a "repositioning" cruise through the Panama canal (he lived in the canal zone as a child). . . That's more tolerable sounding.
I'd be happy to do something with Alaska fjords, on a smaller ship- not a floating mega casino. (I don't blame some of the towns that want to have cruise ship free days in summer.)  And I sort of want to do Alaska's "Milk Run". (and hop on a train or a ship at the other end.)  I've actually looked at the Alaska Ferry. . . no wifi . . . 

we just got back from a few days in Vancouver, and I have no desire to go back.  

[sweet2ndchance]

I would love to travel more both in the US and abroad. I lived in Japan in my 20s and I would love to go back. There is so much more I wish I had gotten to experience while I was there. We also went on vacation to England and again I wish I could go back and see everything we missed!

Honestly, I would rather live overseas than just visit. I want to experience getting to know the locals and their customs, learn the language by immersion and just experience lots more places the way I experienced Japan. Living abroad was such a fun and enlightening experience!

Another dream of mine is to travel the US more than I already have but do it "van life style". I would love to just pack up and go live out of a camper or RV or even just a van like I've seen others do and travel the US that way. But Dh isn't really keen on the idea and both of us now have health problems that require us to visit a doctor on a pretty regular basis so I doubt that's going to happen.

So I guess I have permanent wanderlust too.

ETA: I am pretty happy where I live now. It's not that I'm unhappy where I am. I just love travel and experiencing new places! Dh doesn't share my extreme wanderlust though and I can't imagine traveling without him!

 

Edited yesterday at 05:32 AM by sweet2ndchance

[KidsHappen]

I have been to or lived in 43 states and traveled or lived overseas for several years. Previous to Covid we used to go to FL every summer but we haven't traveled in the last few years nor do we plan to any time in the near future. We would like to do a Viking cruise from Amsterdam to Budapest someday and maybe visit a few other places in the US again but that is about it. I think most of our traveling days are behind us now and that isn't really breaking either of our hearts.

[Kassia]

5 hours ago, Carrie12345 said:

 

I am hoping to take a trip with dh next year, maybe a Caribbean island, maybe not. But only for the purpose of spending time truly alone, with zero responsibilities. Not for the travel experience.

I feel the same way.  I think of it more of an escape rather than going somewhere if that makes sense and that does appeal to me.

[Laura Corin]

Your thread has made me think about why I do like to travel. And as I live in a small country,  why that makes me want to go abroad.

Among my interests are hiking, going to historic monuments and museums, and eating interesting new food. It's those interests that take me abroad, otherwise I might just stay at home.

[Ginevra]

I did not travel abroad until 2018 but now I love it and try to go abroad every year. But I get that some people have no interest; my husband is like that. 
 

I was just talking to my daughter about the next trip I want to go on with her. But if she can’t do it, I may not go at all, or else go with a touring company. 

[Kassia]

5 hours ago, Laura Corin said:

eating interesting new food. It's those interests that take me abroad, otherwise I might just stay at home.

Food is a reason I hate traveling!  I'm a very simple and picky eater and I hate spending so much money on food I don't even want.  We were away last weekend visiting my kids, who are all foodies and I hated all of the meals and they were so expensive.  Last night, I had tuna (even ate it right out of the can - lol) and an apple and was so happy.  😛  

[elegantlion]

I've always loved to travel. I haven't done enough outside of the US because of financial constraints. I'm still working on my goal of visiting all 50 states,  but haven't added to that in a while. 

I also don't love the airport hassle. If finances and opportunity met, I would love to travel abroad with family. SO is a homebody, though. I've shifted my wanderlust to things closer to home, like visiting a bunch of historical river towns in my area. It fits our current lifestyle and budget better. Chronic health issues also limit how much I can do as well. I'll never see all the places that I'm curious about visiting and that makes me sad. 

[wintermom]

I enjoy travelling, and have lived abroad in my young adult years. I would do more travelling, but dogs, work, money and family limit what I can do. 

I love how travelling to other countries opens up my mind to the firm reality that my 'home town' is not the only way to live. People speak other languages, use different money, see different landscapes and buildings, Have a completely different culture than me. It's not until you actually spend time in another cultural environment that you event begin to grasp what that actually means. Humour, food, drink, houses, education systems, automobiles, clothing, garbage collection, etc. is all different. 

And when you return back home, you are ever so slightly changed - forever. I love it!

[TechWife]

You're not weird. I entered a homebody phase several years ago & travel rarely. Usually, just for a long weekend. I expect I'll start traveling again when dh retires. Traveling has a lot of benefits, but it also has drawbacks. Right now, the drawbacks outweigh the benefits.

[wintermom]

I will add, that if you've ever studied or learned a language other English, your mind has already started that 'opening up' process. If you can then visit a location where the locals speak that language, it's the best experience! Language and culture are inter-twinged, and location matters. When immersed in the language and culture, and seeing the natural geography and man-made buildings and structures, you also gain a far deeper understanding of other people. If you have the capacity to speak to people in their native language, it's the best feeling and it expends your understanding of communication and what it can mean to be human.

[Murphy101]

People don’t have to like doing the same things.

🤷‍♀️

I love to travel. But most of my grown children never want to go anywhere. And one of my best friends doesn’t like to bc they just don’t care about seeing in person. They saw the pictures and that’s good enough for them.  But they like hearing about my travels and do find things interesting about it. So no judgement in either direction.

Okay by me. I have no desire to drag an unenthusiastic person along for my joy rides.

So just tell them that so they quit asking?

I don’t really understand not wanting to go explore the world bc to me that does sorta point me to worry about their mental health issues more than anything. Which is certainly a real thing.  But I don’t need to fix them or to understand them to love my people regardless.

 

[Murphy101]

I will say that traveling is something I think builds on itself. A lot of the stress and anxiety is in first time experience and once you get past that you plan and do better for other trips and it doesn’t stress you out as much.

And I wish I had started younger and with more of the older kids. A lot of my money and time is spent literally making my trip more physically comfortable bc of my back these days. I suspect I’ve got maybe another 10 years of travel before it reaches a point where the cheap flights I can afford just aren’t worth the pain to me anymore.  (which if I’m crazy lucky is 10 trips but more likely 4 if I’m realistically lucky.)

But I also didn’t get a passport until 7 years ago. I always thought it was just too expensive. And I think the cost fear is the biggest reason most Americans don’t travel internationally. But almost everywhere NOT in North America is cheaper to go to.  Often by a lot. And 

[wintermom]

Steppping outside your comfort zone is something that I value, and I believe makes people grow, mature and learn. Sure, it's easier not to make that initial step, but then your world continues to stay small, while the world outside is continuing to change and evolve. 

[Shelydon]

I think it is quite unusual to not want to travel, but not a big deal if you just don't like it. 

Edited yesterday at 08:46 PM by Shelydon

[prairiewindmomma]

I personally love to travel but I have close family members who find it intolerable. They have strong preferences around familiar things. Eh. It’s not a moral failing. We’re all allowed to be different types of people. Frustration around this only arises when:

1. They are upset when they perceive I dont visit enough or

2. those in my household perceive they are being shut out of an experience they choose not to participate in 

 

[Beth S]

I was thinking OP may not want to travel with close family members.
I feel like there's an innate relationship pressure when you're all trying to "enjoy" the trip.
I would not want to travel with my Mom, but I did fine with our DD's senior trip to England.

[Hilltopmom]

I lived & travelled all over when younger (Air Force brat)- Morocco for 2 years of high school with basketball tournaments in London, Harvard Model Congress in Luxembourg, senior camel trip in Sahara desert, volleyball in Marrakech, Spring Break in France, etc, and now have zero desire to ever again.

My parents bought a second house/ camp in the Adirondacks an hour from our house and that’s where we travel to now. 

[MEmama]

5 hours ago, wintermom said:

Steppping outside your comfort zone is something that I value, and I believe makes people grow, mature and learn. Sure, it's easier not to make that initial step, but then your world continues to stay small, while the world outside is continuing to change and evolve. 

So much this. Well said.

[MEmama]

6 hours ago, Murphy101 said:

I will say that traveling is something I think builds on itself. A lot of the stress and anxiety is in first time experience and once you get past that you plan and do better for other trips and it doesn’t stress you out as much.

And I wish I had started younger and with more of the older kids. A lot of my money and time is spent literally making my trip more physically comfortable bc of my back these days. I suspect I’ve got maybe another 10 years of travel before it reaches a point where the cheap flights I can afford just aren’t worth the pain to me anymore.  (which if I’m crazy lucky is 10 trips but more likely 4 if I’m realistically lucky.)

But I also didn’t get a passport until 7 years ago. I always thought it was just too expensive. And I think the cost fear is the biggest reason most Americans don’t travel internationally. But almost everywhere NOT in North America is cheaper to go to.  Often by a lot. And 

My parents are near 90 and still travelling internationally on a regular basis. Their methods and focus have evolved over the decades and years, but they aren't afraid to make what they love to do work for them. They go to Europe for 3 months at a time, a couple times a year; in recent years they stay in the same city they love so much and live like locals. They no longer need Big Excitement, they no longer need to see lots of new things, they don't need to wear themselves out walking a billion steps a day or hauling backpacks around. They've discovered business class flying (or whatever it is that lets you lie down all the way) which makes the long flights from the west coast comfortable, gave in and traded the backpacks for small rolling suitcases and thoroughly enjoy long days of drinking wine and relaxing on a balcony overlooking beautiful architecture. Granted they have the means for the lifestyle, but they also do so frugally; they prefer Slovenia to Paris, and inexpensive housing over decadent. 
 

Point being, I hope that if you love to travel that you can find a way to make it work despite the natural limitations we all eventually face. I cherish the opportunity to see and experience different  things way more than a fancy house or expensive car or any of that. 

[prairiewindmomma]

Yes, three months in an apartment in a lovely city sounds so much more fun than a week of rushing about waiting in lines. My vibe these days is much more about lingering in a place and eating local food than it is about visiting crowded famous places. 
 

Traveling is a skill—learning how to figure out public transport and grocery stores and money and doing what you need to politely in a foreign language is all something that becomes easier with practice—most countries all follow the same general patterns—-but it’s also nice to linger someplace when you finally have it all sorted out.

IMO, a lot of places have become too crowded and too diluted to be enjoyable. I am sick of seeing McDonalds and Starbucks and Sephora on every corner no matter where I am in the world. 

[MEmama]

4 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

Yes, three months in an apartment in a lovely city sounds so much more fun than a week of rushing about waiting in lines. My vibe these days is much more about lingering in a place and eating local food than it is about visiting crowded famous places. 
 

Traveling is a skill—learning how to figure out public transport and grocery stores and money and doing what you need to politely in a foreign language is all something that becomes easier with practice—most countries all follow the same general patterns—-but it’s also nice to linger someplace when you finally have it all sorted out.

IMO, a lot of places have become too crowded and too diluted to be enjoyable. I am sick of seeing McDonalds and Starbucks and Sephora on every corner no matter where I am in the world. 

And instagram wanna be influencers! Omg, they ruined Iceland for me; in most places they are somewhat avoidable if you know how to get off the beaten path (which I always prefer anyway), but they were inescapable there for us. Insufferable. 

[Janeway]

I have no desire to go. This is the "them problem." They can work it out without you having to drag yourself across the ocean to join fix their problems. 

[prairiewindmomma]

Iceland’s total population is just under 400,000. In 2023, they had 2.2 million overnight tourists visit (including us). ITA about insta culture being a problem. 

[teachermom2834]

I think 2 and a half decades of being a stay at home mom and being totally focused on my kids and making sure they stretched themselves and spread their wings and were interesting people not afraid to try new things left me behind as someone who doesn’t do any of those things I always pushed my kids to do.

I have no interest in traveling abroad but I will admit it is because there are too many unknowns and it is too out of my comfort zone. I get migraines that make me really sick. What if I got one on an overseas flight? Lots of those kind of concerns. I’d happily support dh and kids taking an adventure while I stay home.

I feel like it is something there is something wrong with me for not wanting but if I am honest I am just not super interested and I definitely have anxieties about it.