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About HomeAgain

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  1. Yeah, I'm in the don't ask camp. I figure if they want me to know, I'll know. If not, then they know I can be someone to chat with who won't bring it up, and sometimes that's worth more.
  2. That's how it happens in our house, too. We discuss ahead of time. This isn't 1950, and everyone has a part. One person isn't mommy to all. However, I have to say that when a dynamic is such that one person appears super capable and the other person is allowed not to be, it creates an unhealthy balance. Asking for help will do something to correct that imbalance. Saying, "I need help now" puts the onus on the other person to be a freaking adult and step up. It helps to reset the relationship and eventually move both people to a healthier dynamic where the first can say "this, this, and this needs to be taken care of. Which do you want to take on?" and then eventually moving into a relationship where that breakdown isn't necessary. It's a step. And refusal to take that first step because "I shouldn't have to ask for help" keeps everyone right where they are.
  3. Dh works various shifts. Learning to work with him home on his time off has been......a work in progress. 😄 We've had to compromise: ds and I have a school room to have some quiet but he gets to hang out on longer breaks with dh.
  4. I think a lot of it is unintentional conditioning. Dh and I split a lot of tasks, and if one of us is working, it's going to be 9 times out of 10 that the other person gets up to do a job, too. There's very little that one person takes care of entirely. We each carry different mental loads, but that is because how each of our brains work. I do best with small details. When we go on a trip or go to an event, I'm the person who creates and executes the packing lists, who thinks about the fact that we're traveling during a meal time and should pack snacks/water, who remembers to put the grocery bags in the car in case we swing by on the way home because we do need eggs and cereal, who knows where each person's personal items are so we can get the heck out of the house and I don't have to wait for them to stumble around and find the things that are in the same spots they've always been in... OTOH, dh is the person who does better setting up the event, deciding the travel time needed, making me a schedule of all the upcoming events, planning to do something in the morning before we go so we can get major work done around the house.. We've both gotten better over the years with expressing our own needs and letting the other person know when we're overwhelmed. We create a family habit of walking in on work or a new situation and asking, "how can I help?". I think our mental loads are not nearly as unbalanced as the comic shows.
  5. I'm making two meals that day for everyone coming in and leaving for work. Split between them are: Smoked turkey breast Cranberry orange sauce Apple pie Meal 1 (more kid friendly): Roasted butternut squash Green beans sauteed with garlic Stuffing Mashed potatoes and gravy Pumpkin pie and whipped cream Meal 2 (mostly adults): Stuffing Roasted asparagus topped with balsamic and Parmesan cheese Sweet potato gnocchi with a sage-butter sauce Spinach salad with cranberries, feta, and almonds Pumpkin pie Pots de creme with raspberry sauce I may add mashed potatoes to the second meal as well, but we'll see. This is the first year I'm entirely in charge of carrying out the menu that's been planned. As much as possible will be done ahead of time.
  6. I have decided I hate listing and I hate buying. The last time I tried to buy from someone locally I asked her to give me a time and place to meet, that my schedule was flexible. I got a place, no time, no date, even after asking twice. Then a month later she got around to asking if I was still interested. Uh, no. Not from you. Selling is just as maddening. It's like people forget how to communicate. Being rude, asking me to come down half on an already very low price....I honestly don't care very much about a person's story unless it's something that directly affects the sale. Sob stories don't. Having a bit of integrity seems to be a dying trait.
  7. No, we're not, because even with the Zillions book it's not enough information. It's just not. Fred will teach how to divide fractions the short way but won't teach why it works or how to do it the long way and what dividing fractions actually means beyond a short sentence referencing a whole number divided up. It's just not enough. When I talk about review, I talk about not only practice, but refreshing the memory of why we do certain procedures to figure out an answer. I don't want my kid to go through math like learning sight words. It's going to get him only so far with that method. Fred is good for fun and introduction to or practice with concepts. I won't ever use it as a stand alone.
  8. Nope. Fred is heavier on procedure than it is on concept, but not very heavy on either, and it won't review very often, especially as you go through other books. Ds is finishing the fraction book this week, but his schedule looks like this: 10-30 minutes on a concept from Gattegno, then a chapter from Fred (about 10 minutes). That way he bounces between hands-on conceptual work and procedural but it's not an overwhelming amount of either. We're just going into the Gattegno fractions & decimals book, so everything from Fred is being reviewed again in the first few exercises before they go deeper with Gattegno. And since there are only 32 chapters (and the Bridges), Fred barely covers a semester doing it 3x a week. He'll start the Decimals book after Christmas, but hold off on the 3 pre-algebra books until next year, probably, so that he does book 5 of Gattegno first and then reviews with Fred. I would say if you really want to use Fred as a main, then pick something to back it up and work from a different point of view so that you make sure she's getting all the math and not missing items, even if it's just a weekly assessment with Prodigy.
  9. I suspect many of us grew up in families where adults did things because it was the "right" thing, and they didn't want to make waves. When our generation grew up, we may have chosen other paths and that does not compute with the older generation's feeling of "right". It causes friction. These are people who didn't do it because they wanted to, but feel that since they did, everyone should have to. When I say I would hope I'm the kind of parent my kids want to visit, it means I always want them to be comfortable here, and their spouses and children comfortable here. I'm not going to care if they choose their own way of celebrating the holidays as long as it makes them happy. Goodness knows I plan on ditching the whole thing as soon as the last one is out of the house and dh and I are spending one Christmas at WDW - together and without kids.
  10. You're not coming across as a jerk. You're coming across as a mom of one. 😄 There's a difference. Sometimes, it's not all it's cracked up to be when others do know of a child's skills. It bothered me a little when I walked down to the locker room and heard other members of the team popping off math questions at my kid. They had tapped into his calculation skills one day and it became a party trick. Our kid is sheltered quite a bit. We've never told him 'no' when it comes to letting him explore something, but he's never been in a classroom and rarely has had a text with a grade level on it. We've stressed to him that he is X grade. X grade looks different for all kids because each school or teacher has a role in determining what they need to work on and there's no such thing as even, steady learning. He's sheltered. He doesn't know some of his things are unusual and we'd like to keep it that way as much as possible. Regardless, I think my most important job is to help my kid advocate for his own needs. He needs to speak up if he wants to try something, or if he's feeling uncomfortable. I want him to feel confident enough to do that if he's in a setting without us. On feeling comfortable, a little story. I help a kid who is strong in a lot of skills. However, while his younger brothers worked on multiplication today, do you know what I had him do? Leap down number lines with a pencil. Not because he's not capable. Not because this was his best work. But today? He was tired. He had a rough lesson earlier with me. He needed to find the joy again. Watching him smile and enjoy himself was just as good for him as tackling those pesky fractions again. We'll get back to the fractions but having the brain break did him good.
  11. Does she feel that way? If so, how can you help her decide what to do so she advocates for herself in those situations?
  12. This is similar to our house. DS has a touch light that cycles through colors. We keep it on red as a nightlight.
  13. Go get a cup of tea. It solves a lot. I don't give a flying patooty if someone recognizes what my kid can do. Why should I? I care: -if he enjoys what he is doing at the moment when I take him to an event. -if he conducts himself well. -if he has things to talk about and can hold a discussion. It's okay that people who don't know your kid well don't see all she can do. They're not her parent or steady teacher. Who cares what they think? If it bothers your dd, you can teach her how to ask for something harder OR let her show by exploring the materials she's using. I handed twins today the same activity pieces. What they did with them, after the initial instructions, were vastly different and challenging on different pieces. It was a beautiful thing to watch, and it let me file away some things for memory: Twin A likes to approach things in a more logical manner. Twin B sees the idea and immediately tries to build on that idea to create something different but more expansive. My own kid blends in quite well and does so in different ways depending on what he is currently doing. He hangs with his 8-10yo team with active stuff. With academic strengths, he seeks out his 12-14yo group. With creative, he often seeks out the younger group because fine motor skills are still an issue. None of this has to be compatible with each other. He still likes his 9/10yo book club because the books are interesting, short enough to finish in a day, and he has friends there. If your daughter is not enjoying herself, then it's time to reassess what she's doing outside the house and find activities that are more open-ended instead of grade leveled. If she is, there's no reason to change anything.
  14. It is absolutely alright to do them as discussion! Think about what you want to have them get out of the exercise or the lesson. You can structure a lesson around those ideals and use whatever needed to get there. For us, usually a history lesson goes like this: Day 1: part 1 of chapter. Discuss orally, do map work OR activity. Day 2: do mapwork OR activity (whichever wasn't done before) OR video if there's no activity that we want to do. Create written narration or outline for notebook. (can count as writing lesson if that is what you are working on in language arts) Day 3: part 2 of chapter. Repeat as before. Day 4: repeat day 2, do timeline work, compare/contrast against events pulled from previous chapters.
  15. Practice violin School Write up language arts lessons for the rest of the week Make math materials Tutor Take kid to book club Dinner
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