Frances Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope something can be done to right this wrong. You and your family are in my thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MBM Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 What a nightmare. I wish I knew someone in Australia who could help you. ((( ))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ikslo Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 I have finally got the results from our appeal. decision upheld. Caused substantiated emotional abuse of a child in my care :crying: :crying: :crying: Never ever foster. It destroys your own children. It destroys relationships. It destroys your mind I'm so sorry. :( What is going to happen? I agree with you on never fostering. My parents took in foster kids and it was the worst thing that ever happened to our family. I'm so sorry you are going through this. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 :( :( :( :banghead: After everything you tried, after all that you and your family were put through, after working SO HARD EVERY.SINGLE.MINUTE.OF.EVERY.SINGLE.DAY to save this poor damaged child (who was damaged LOOOONNNNNNGGGG before being placed in your care) this is how it ends up? Did they even actually investigate? :boxing_smiley: Sending hugs and hope for a miracle of some kind...I'm wishing with all my heart you could get some sort of a break. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam in CT Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Oh Melissa. I am so very sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 I’m so sorry, Melissa. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 I have finally got the results from our appeal. decision upheld. Caused substantiated emotional abuse of a child in my care :crying: :crying: :crying: Never ever foster. It destroys your own children. It destroys relationships. It destroys your mind I'm so angry for you right now. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 http://cfc-sa.org.au/foster-kinship-care/frequently-asked-questions/ I found this link for an advocacy group? Is there anything similar where you are? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 I'm so sorry. I hope there is something you can do with an attorney. The system abused that child and you. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkTulip Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 My heart just dropped reading this. Huge hugs and loves, and all my support to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted March 8, 2018 Author Share Posted March 8, 2018 http://cfc-sa.org.au/foster-kinship-care/frequently-asked-questions/ I found this link for an advocacy group? Is there anything similar where you are? we have been working with the Vic equivelent 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted March 8, 2018 Author Share Posted March 8, 2018 the main substantiated abuse: Because I couldn't hug him after he was spying on me while I was having a shower, I supposedly made him feel rejected, therefore I caused him long term emotional abuse that he is still having troubles with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Un fricken believable. A friend of mine took on Vic docs a few years ago and won. Would you like me to talk to her? 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 the main substantiated abuse: Because I couldn't hug him after he was spying on me while I was having a shower, I supposedly made him feel rejected, therefore I caused him long term emotional abuse that he is still having troubles with. Wow, that is unreal! I’m so sorry. 😢 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Good gosh. This is disgusting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkTulip Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 the main substantiated abuse: Because I couldn't hug him after he was spying on me while I was having a shower, I supposedly made him feel rejected, therefore I caused him long term emotional abuse that he is still having troubles with. I’m speechless. (And angry!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wishes Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 I am so sorry Melissa. The "charges" are completely ridiculous. For one, you cannot "require" someone hug someone else. What about your bodily autonomy? Not to mention the implication of having physical contact with a child who may have been trying to gain sexual pleasure in watching you. Hugging him would have been completely inappropriate. 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 I am so incredibly sorry. That is insane. :grouphug: doesn't really cut it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Sick buggers. :cursing: :cursing: :cursing: :cursing: :cursing: :cursing: :cursing: :cursing: :cursing: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 (edited) Sounds to me like someone was scared that they had done the wrong thing and are preempting by taking you to court over it in stead. That's pretty bad! Edited March 8, 2018 by Ausmumof3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted March 8, 2018 Author Share Posted March 8, 2018 (edited) They are not taking us to court. Taking us to court would allow us to have representation and be able to defend ourselves. Edited March 8, 2018 by Melissa in Australia 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abba12 Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Oh God Melissa, please tell us this won't effect the twins. That's all I've thought about following this whole thread. Permanent placement is not always permenant here, and they need you so badly. I think fostering is so important but... I just couldn't ever do it in our current system, nor could I put bio children through it. It's so wrong because those kids need help too, I grew up around a lot of foster kids and a good home changes a life, but... It's an impossible situation, the system is beyond broken. At least the one saving grace here is that your kids are older and you're not supporting little ones through this. If there's anything at all us Australians can do let us know. I'm not on here much anymore but I've been checking in on this thread regularly. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Seriously cannot believe it. Your situation is even more unbelievable than my friend's. You were the one who was wronged so very clearly. In her case I could understand the mixed up weirdness of the logic if you believed the child. The case history showed the incredible history of destructive lies. They had documented them for years and still ripped her life apart. Totally messed up system. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannah Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 My heart breaks for you. This is so so wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 They are not taking us to court. Taking us to court would allow us to have representation and be able to defend ourselves. Oh man... Hope that something somewhere gets fixed! So unfair Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 (edited) I am so sorry. This is really unfair. Edited March 8, 2018 by Skippy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 There are no words :( What a screwed up system. :( :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Lynn Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 I'm so sorry. Praying you discover a resource that can bring justice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 I am so very sorry. And angry. Continuing to pray for some kind of justice. Hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 That is so messed up. I am so sorry Melissa. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selkie Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 It's mind-boggling that you are being blamed for damaging that child. It's just so completely twisted and evil. :( 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachaheart Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 I'm so sorry and angry on your behalf. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 I’m having trouble understanding why anyone would think you are at fault in this situation. Is this child still in your home? I wish there was something we could do on your behalf. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Wow, I'm so, so sorry. I feel very angry for you. It's ridiculous. It sounds like they're covering their tracks. I think you need legal advice because you have clearly done nothing wrong and everything right. Do you have energy to fight this? I found this site: http://www.probonocentre.org.au :grouphug: :grouphug: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsummer Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 It's like that Kafka book I hated, The Trial. Unreal and so infuriating without any satisfactory recourse to actual justice. I'm so sorry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 the main substantiated abuse: Because I couldn't hug him after he was spying on me while I was having a shower, I supposedly made him feel rejected, therefore I caused him long term emotional abuse that he is still having troubles with. Oh I see, so he came to you with no issues whatsoever and all his problems stem from that moment?? I'm sorry, there just aren't civilized words for the people running that system. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsummer Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 And talk about letting the perfect be the enemy of the good. No parent is going to be able to be perfectly demonstrative and loving and have no boundaries of their own; people like that don't exist, and if they do I'm afraid of them. The idea that not being perfectly nurturing in every aspect is equivalent to being unkind (not to mention equivalent to abuse!) is insanity. If that is the standard, they'll have neither foster parents nor real parents left that they find suitable to care for children. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 I am so sorry Melissa. The "charges" are completely ridiculous. For one, you cannot "require" someone hug someone else. What about your bodily autonomy? Not to mention the implication of having physical contact with a child who may have been trying to gain sexual pleasure in watching you. Hugging him would have been completely inappropriate. The mental health organization I volunteer with does not allow most people to touch kids affectionately, because they associate touch differently - because people have inappropriately or violently touched them in the past. I assume that foster parents are allowed to hug if they feel it is therapeutic to the child, but I can't imagine being required to hug. That's just crazy and they know it. I believe they are just being vindictive. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Unspeakable. I am so sorry, Melissa. I hope there is some recourse for you. This is an outrage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
almondbutterandjelly Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 (edited) I have no words. Standing in support of you and your kindness and your great big heart. So sorry. Edited March 8, 2018 by perkybunch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 I’m having trouble understanding why anyone would think you are at fault in this situation. Is this child still in your home? I wish there was something we could do on your behalf. The child is no longer in the home. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Just adding my support here. I have a volunteer job that is associated with the foster care system. It is heartbreaking. I am so sorry for what is happening to you, and even more sorry that parents who could really help kids are driven away by the system. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashfern Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 I'm so sorry to hear this. I don't even have words express my feelings. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 So wrong. I am so sorry. :grouphug: Continuing to pray for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 My very American thought- can you sue them for emotional damage toward you? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Rosie expressed my thoughts perfectly: Sick buggers. :cursing: :cursing: :cursing: :cursing: :cursing: :cursing: :cursing: :cursing: :cursing: I am so very, very sorry, Melissa. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Can you take them to court in order to clear your name and record? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 How heartbreaking. My prayer for your family is that you are able to move forward with healing. Who knows what that means...but that this can be put behind you, causing no harm, and that your family can have the time/space to recover from it all. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 (edited) I have finally got the results from our appeal. decision upheld. Caused substantiated emotional abuse of a child in my care :crying: :crying: :crying: Never ever foster. It destroys your own children. It destroys relationships. It destroys your mind ((((((((hugs)))))))) it is all so very wrong And to your last line.. I wholeheartedly agree!!! Edited March 8, 2018 by Tap 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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