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About abba12

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    Hive Mind Worker Bee

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  1. Thank you all for your encouragement ladies. I've read through this twice and no doubt will once or twice more to try and process everything. Unfortunately a mid-term birth control is off the table, which is what makes this so much harder! I'd happily go that route if I could, but, hormonal birth control isn't an option for me medically for multiple reasons, including history of cholestasis and a high sensitivity emotionally to hormone changes. There's a small chance I could tolerate the mini-pill, but that one has to be taken at the same time every day, a few hours late and it doesn't wo
  2. I don't post much here anymore, but I wanted some outside perspective and I'm not sure where else I would find such a broad array of opinions, rather than the two extremes I am exposed to in my daily life. When DH and I got married we believed in having a large family. We both grew up homeschooled, he was one of 8, I was one of 5 and we grew up with lots of anti-birth control families. Our anti-birth control stance changed when I had HG in my pregnancies followed by an inability to breastfeed, and we realised a back-to-back pregnancy could kill me, so we began spacing but we still fully
  3. Oh, and I also know a homeschooled child who is allergic to all fruits and vegetables. Apparently she's allergic to the natural preservative plants have? She has other complicated health issues and constant specialist visits including a gut specialist and dietician so it's absolutely legit Bodies are crazy
  4. Legit. My friends child had salmonella at 6 weeks, despite being breastfed and her mother having actual OCD, so, pristine home. It was crazy Anyway, her gut was destroyed. She became intollerant to ALL the things, milk, wheat, oats, soy, preservatives, the lot. They eventually worked out she could eat meat if it was grass fed organic but couldn't tolerate regular meat, possibly because of the diet the animal consumed as she was not celiac but rather is intolerant to the grain proteins which is why she's also intolerant to oats. And when I say that I mean if her mother ate a regular
  5. Oh God Melissa, please tell us this won't effect the twins. That's all I've thought about following this whole thread. Permanent placement is not always permenant here, and they need you so badly. I think fostering is so important but... I just couldn't ever do it in our current system, nor could I put bio children through it. It's so wrong because those kids need help too, I grew up around a lot of foster kids and a good home changes a life, but... It's an impossible situation, the system is beyond broken. At least the one saving grace here is that your kids are older and you're not supp
  6. Yup, I'm legally blind, my parents started the tradition as a decoration I could see and interact with, balloons covering the lounge room floor in front of the tree on Christmas morning. It kinda just stuck
  7. I'm surprised how many people here hate it but still do it. I would just say no. My husband and I told everyone on the first year of marriage that we would not be going to big family events Christmas eve or Christmas day as we had our own traditions to create and we were trying for a baby by the following Christmas and knew we did not want to take our kids away from home and presents on Christmas, so we were setting the precedent now. We were both eldests so it was hard, but we did set an open door policy on Christmas day, anyone at all is welcome to our home Christmas day, we just won't leave
  8. In Australia Christmas is often all about the seafood. I can't afford to do a seafood feast for everyone and DH hates it anyway. But on Christmas Eve we take the kids to look at lights one last time and then once the kids go to bed my husband makes me a prawn, mango and avocado salad just for myself. Last year he branched out and actually got me in-shell lobster (enough for just one person isn't so expensive). It's my reward for a crazy day of cooking and a week of work previously lol. I watch the christmas eve carols in peace while he blows up balloons. I also love just sitting in front
  9. I live in QLD, that may effect my perspective. I have heard the homeless situation is more dire in Sydney and Melbourne, but even then my impression is it's mostly confined to the inner city. But perhaps there's more difference between states than I'm aware of.
  10. I think the fact is we just don't have that kind of issue with homeless families and children on the streets in Australia so we don't have or need anything comparable. There are some, of course, there's always some, but nothing like in the US thanks to our social security net. In Australia a family with children is never going to be in a position of being unable to eat thanks to the Family Tax Benefit, and far less restrictive unemployment benefits, and they are priority #1 for government funded housing and emergency housing through the government. A family (i.e. with kids, who get extra payme
  11. I haven't read the previous posts so I don't know what's already been said. I just wanted to say, I struggled greatly with the same thing. I was absolutely convinced universalism was not the right way, the only way to the father is through the son, etc. But eternal damnation never sat right with me even as a child. Eventually I landed here, with a type of annihalationism I don't endorse ANYTHING else on this website. But he happens to also have the most comprehensive, biblically referenced argument I've ever found for the topic, so I reluctantly continue to use this link lol http://biblel
  12. I'm so sorry for what's happened in your situation However, I entirely disagree with you. I know a woman who was not a victim, and she is extraordinarily protective. Myself? As some here know I was a victim of very severe and ongoing sexual abuse and exploitation. And what I learned was... avoiding sleepovers and not letting our kids outside alone won't protect them. My parents were strict in that sense, there were friends I was not allowed to visit because mum got bad vibes from their parents, I couldn't use the internet (I'm fairly young... MSN and myspace was all the rage when I was
  13. My husband and I both have chronic illnesses and I have a genetic disability, along with assorted other medical issues. They, in combination, are serious enough to impact our kids daily life and cause it to look somewhat different to their friends lives. For this reason, not telling them was never an option. We decided it was something we just wanted them to grow up knowing, no big reveal or conversation, we wanted it to be something they just always knew and added details to as they got old enough to understand. This seems to be working for us at the moment, I can't say there's been any real
  14. Also, I'm sure most of you are mature enough to realise I was using a common phrasing of the word hate, to emphasise complete frustration, rather than a genuine deep emotional hatred for a child.
  15. Well, this went from positive to negative. I'm glad to know that children playing independently is apparently abnormal. Apparently my three kids, ALL of my other mother friends aside from this one, not to mention mine and my husbands younger siblings and all of their friends (we were older-enough to be teens when there were still toddlers at home), plus the kids of friends we had while childless who we observed many times, were all exceptionally abnormal, because I can't imagine a playdate which consists of constant active supervision, and it's definitely not what occurs in any of my socia
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