Another feminist in a traditional relationship who stayed home to homeschool! And definitely what I see in social media from women is actually asking for MORE respect for traditional roles, not less.

How would you know or find this out? I've never seen anything on ancestry.com. My dad's side fought for the confederacy in the Civil War, but his more recent ancestors would have been too poor. His grandfather and father both were sharecroppers. Very poor white families living in dirt-floor shacks.

My daughter's ex-husband came from a rather traditional family, but not crazy. The mom did stay home and homeschool, but mom was a much stronger personality than dad and there wasn't any idea she was subservient or anything like that. We were all part of a homeschool science team, so even though there were some traditional conservative types, it was never a "girls stay at home" type of thing. Before they got married they talked about some things like vaccines, birth control, roles in the family, etc. and exSIL came out a bit conservative but again not crazy. He started working and my daughter was still in college, and he knew when they married she planned on finishing. Also, we agreed to assist with school money until she was finished so that she didn't need to get a job during that time. DD is high-stress and has some mental health challenges, she just was not in a place to handle working and going to school, we knew she would drop out. A little before Covid hit, he was already starting to hang out at work with some uber-men at his job. When Covid hit he went down the rabbit hole. Anti-vax, etc. He also started making fun of/demeaning daughter for being in school. Said she needed to quit and just get a job. School was "stupid" and "all her college friends were just uppity snobby losers". When she was off school in the summer, she did do a majority of the house upkeep because she was home (although still working part time). During school she expected his help and got nothing. He did not view her full time school the same as him working. He viewed it as useless. She should be able to also take care of the house, food, etc. He said he knew he said differently when they were dating, but he really did expect traditional gender roles and for her to be the wife and take care of the house. He also did the "sex is her duty" thing and threatened her with affairs if she didn't "give him what he needed". It all went downhill from there and he became abusive. Sharing because he did start out as a fairly "normal" young man, then went down a rabbit hole and became deeply misogynistic and wanting a "tradwife". It was sad and scary. DD divorced him after he became abusive and refused any counselling.

I chose a two wheel Travelpro when I recently replaced mine. I have been flying a lot over the last 3-4 years. At the airport, I don't think there has been a single time I have not seen at least one four wheel with a broken wheel. Don't know if those are just cheaply made? But I didn't want to risk it. If you've had 4 wheels that lasted many years, what brand do you have?

I decided to just wait a bit. It's causing stress right now that I'm not in a place to deal with. My dad was a good man who I got very close to in the last years. He was a distant, serious father as we were growing up (never abusive just not emotionally engaged) but in his older years he regretted that so much and made efforts to change and to have a relationship with us. He laughed more, called more, engaged more. He was 92 and he was ready to go... but he has left a huge hole in my heart. 🖤

Well, this thread confirms what I already knew and what prairiewindmomma said, that people write obituaries differently and for all different reasons. I really don't know who even sees an obituary as far as the "public" goes unless it is a famous or well-connected person. No one even gets newspapers any more, and it doesn't show up online unless you go searching. So, it was for me and my dad, not for any "public" unlikely to ever see it, that was not part of my concern. Thanks for your input folks...

Just to clarify, the issue was publishing the obituary in general, or my mom's medical condition. It was the part about her calling him an old goat (which was a long-standing family and friend joke) and about the dogs.

We never talked about an obit for mom at the time. Like I said it just hasn't been something we've done in our family. I did mention later about the genealogy thing and he said yeah we probably should have done that. He didn't have a strong opinion on the subject.

When he started baby-talking them, we were like, wow, he never talked like that to US! 🤣

My sister, who I have a rather fragile relationship with. However, I am pretty close with her 35 yo daughter (my niece) and although her my niece recognizes her mom has some issues, will still mostly take her mom's side if push comes to shove. To her credit she normally tries to stay out of the middle of anything with me and my sister. But that's still her mom.

The dog comment was relevant because it was an example of how much he changed as he got older. He was very serious and stoic. When I grew up dogs were NEVER allowed in the house. As he aged, he let the dogs come in the house grudgingly at first. Then eventually you could hear him baby-talking to the dogs in another room. It progressed from there! The dogs actually opened his heart in a way that was beautiful.

It's hard I think because yes I am always the peace-keeper and my sister always has her demands. So when I ever do make a "demand" just really expressing how I want to do something, then I'm the one viewed as making trouble. I accommodate everyone else's feelings, but when do mine get accommodated? I confess I'm tired of it....

The second option is not to respond at all and just publish it as is. I don't think they will see that, they don't take the newspaper anyway and hardly ever go on line.

I am absolutely not thinking clearly here so I need perspective. My dad passed away a week or so ago. Dad was very low key and requested cremation with no service, which we honored but did have a small gathering at his house of friends and family. When my mother passed we didn't publish an obituary, just saying our family is real low key about those things and not as formal as other families. But I regreted that because I do geneology and I know obituaries are a big source of information. For that reason I decided to publish one for my dad. I made a very brief one that included a statement about him taking care of my mom during dementia even though she called him an old goat. (That was a family joke that was told to many outside the family, so not something anyone was ashamed of, it was told as a joke to people.) Also I mentioned something about him warming up to dogs later in late which brought him much laughter. I consider the obituary to be mostly for me and for anyone who looks up info in the future. My sister, who was not going to write or do anything like an obituary anyway said that it "sounded dumb about the dogs and was way too personal about mom". I found that very hurtful and don't feel up to changing it. I wanted to respond this: That was not kind to say it was dumb. Nobody sees these anyway, it will likely only be viewed by anyone in the future looking Dad up. I will honor dad in a way that is appropriate to me as I am sure you will also. If you would prefer your names not be on there to connect you personally I understand that and you can let me know. Is that really rude or inappropriate? Interestingly enough before my dad died, he said several times "don't let your sister push you around when I'm gone". I'm the peacemaker, get-along type and my sister is the runs-everything, tell-everyone-what-to-do type. I'm tired of catering to her and not being allowed by own feelings. But as you guys know, the peacekeeper is ALWAYS expected to just keep keeping the peace and not make waves. Making the waves is horrible, but the other person who always demands their way, that's "just how they are".

Listening carefully here.... I am a bookkeeper that has used QB desktop for over 20 years with multiple clients. I am FED UP with them. Customer service the last 5 years has been worthless, and they are pushing so hard to get everyone to switch to online, even though all I ever hear about is how no one likes QB online, how many problems it has, and how many less features it has than desktop. My companies are loyal enough that they would follow whatever I recommended as far as their accounting software. Obviously I am crazy expert with QB, but just so tired of the poor service and push to online that I am looking at alternatives.

Yes I already use that.

Fortunately it is nowhere near miserable as when I first started. Like I said the kenalog shot and cream seem to be keeping it under control. Under control but not gone, and still getting spots. That's why I'm concerned when the kenalog shot wears off is it going to blow up again. 😩

I've been taking Zyrtec plus two Benadryl at bedtime since it started. I'll look up MCAS!

Update 3 weeks in: Oral steroids and Benadryl did nothing. Went to dermatologist who gave kenalog shot and Clobetasol cream. 2 weeks after got it under control (itching decreased, existing spots healing over) BUT new spots still appearing (although smaller and not as itchy) on arms, waist, an most recently legs. I'm worried I have not identified the allergen since I'm still getting new spots. All spot areas are covered by clothes, where clothes would rub against (except face/neck which I was guessing sheets). I have changed detergents and soaps, washed sheets towels and clothes multiple times. No lotions or creams at all for three weeks except some CeraVe for excema cream. Can you develop an allergy to fibers? What else should I look for? Doc didn't think food allergy due to presentation.

I was annoyed that dh's mom refused to pick a name. She said they'll call her whatever they end up calling her. But we had to call her SOMETHING like "we're going to Grandma's house" so we just went with Grandma since she refused to pick. My mom was Oma. My sister is Nanie to hers. Sis is 10 yrs older than me and Nanie was my version of her name, so she kept it for grandkids. Now that my mom has passed... I *might* be an Oma. 🤔 I would feel honored to claim that name. But who knows if or when!

What a sad situation for the girl.

Went to the doctor, antihistamines and steroids. Doctor thinks it was the shampoo. The full story behind that is that I had used it a couple of times when visiting my dad in Texas and it made my scalp kind of itchy. This time because I had multiple exposures he thinks it set off a pretty severe reaction. Although the rash is on my face and neck not on my scalp, but he said that's because the skin is more thin on your face. Thanks Hive!

no gluten issues

Well I have to work today, yay! So I guess I will give it until tomorrow to see if it stops spreading.

We had several fires this week in Colorado already. I'm very concerned it's starting so early. I live in a high fire-danger area. We maintain go bags, and a list of further evacuation activities.