FaithManor Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 It has been an horrific ordeal, one that has taken a deep toll on this family. So I am relieved that it is finally over. Morphine and Ativan combined with slipping into unconsciousness made it a peaceful passing. We do not believe he suffered. Now to deal with both of his mentally ill, very unstable sisters for a few days. I think my brother and I are ready for that, my sister not so much so when you have a chance to think good thoughts or say a prayer for that, I would greatly appreciate it. Also, I have family quite angry with me. Our middle boy Peter, away at college, has a final exam tomorrow and one on Monday neither of which can be rescheduled. Both professors are having surgery immediately following submitting their final grades and before the additional spring semester begins. They are under no obligation to allow another professor to projector the exam and grade it so Peter can not come home for the funeral. He is okay with that, as are Dh and I. But my sister and mom are pretty riled up. It also represents 8 hrs of driving twice in one weekend on top of everything else. He does not have a car on campus so this is just not particularly doable anyway. Sigh...stress from grieving people that I do not need, but have to endure. Oh well. The worst is over, and I am very thankful for that. Despite all that man put me through and particularly in the last two years, it turns out that I am glad I was there when it happened. Thank you all for the support. Creekland, Seasider, Maize,...I cannot begin to name you all, but I sure appreciate everyone!! Now to go let Alexander's suit pants down. He did manage a growth spurt in the last three weeks! Given his food consumption - think commercial vacuum sweeper - of late, I should have known and finished that last week. 29 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I'm thinking of you and your family. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in FL. Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 (edited) I am so sorry for the difficult circumstances surrounding your father's passing, and am praying for you as you navigate the next days and weeks. When people try to make me feel guilty or bad about decisions we make (like your ds not being at the funeral), I calmly assure them that we have made a thoughtful/prayerful decision and are comfortable and confident that it is the right one.I hope that you will get through this with a minimum of drama! Edited April 20, 2017 by Cindy in FL. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom31257 Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I'm so sorry and will be praying for you and your family! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 Sorry. Those angry about your son not being able to make the funeral need to get over themselves. Of course you already know that. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Tick Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 Sounds like a tough weekend coming up, I hope you get some piece after that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracy_Lord Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 You and your family will be in my prayers and so will your son and his exams. Praying for his focus during a time that must be distracting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selkie Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I'm sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelwydd Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I'm sorry for your loss, Faith. Please take care of yourself, and don't let the toxicity of some relatives poison your spirit. Funerals are notorious for giving disgruntled relatives the access needed to grind that axe. You are doing what's best for you and your immediate family, and owe no apologies for that. Hugs. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 You and your family have been through so much. I am glad he passed peacefully and that it is over. I am sending good thoughts and prayers your way for the coming weeks dealing with the aftermath. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: (And I send sympathy and understanding for people being upset that someone can't attend a funeral. some people believe that the world should just stop revolving so a funeral can be attended. Life doesn't always work out that way. Hopefully they will get over it eventually. In the meantime, I am sending you good vibes and virtual support as you batten down the hatches and ride it out. ) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 Congratulations on making it through. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I'm so sorry. That's a lot of stress and grief. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faithr Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I am so sorry. May you have the strength to get through the next phase. I know it can be rough. I wish him and all of you peace! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I am so sorry for your loss, I'll be thinking of you at this time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam in CT Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 It's been a long hard road for all of you. Holding you in the light over the weekend and I hope you find peace thereafter. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GailV Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 :grouphug: Offering up prayers for all involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 :grouphug: I hope the next few days (months?) pass quickly and uneventfully, so that soon all of this can be just a story shared and real life improves. I'm glad you have closure - just waiting for the closure to get sealed. May you sense some peace through it all from your Hive buddies - esp in the worst of times with family. :grouphug: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckymama Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 Oh Faith :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrn Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mothersweets Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azucena Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 :grouphug: Sorry for your loss, but relieved that the difficulties of his last days are over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I'm glad it was a peaceful passing. I will pray for you and your family. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlktwins Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 So sorry for your loss :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanny Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I am glad that you believe that he did not suffer. That is extremely important. You wrote "so Peter can not come home for the funeral. He is okay with that, as are Dh and I. But my sister and mom are pretty riled up.". Peter will be there, in spirit, but he must take those 2 exams. Your sister and mother are way_out_of_line. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valley Girl Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 (edited) You are amazingly strong and loving to have shouldered all the burdens and heartache you have. May you find the strength to get through the coming stressful days and be surrounded with comfort and peace in your own little family. God bless. P.S. I hope your son aces his exams. That's his job right now. Your mom is being unreasonable about it, but perhaps he could write her a short, loving note to let her know that he is thinking of her. It may bring her some comfort. I hope no one gives him a hard time. Edited April 20, 2017 by Reluctant Homeschooler 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I am sorry. :grouphug: Hoping the next few weeks pass quickly and without conflict. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I'll be praying for you today and in the days ahead. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 Big hugs Faith. I will pray that the next few days go smoothly and that there can be some healing for you and for others in the family. I think the verse "blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted" applies just as truthfully when the mourning is over not so much the death of a loved one as over broken hearts and broken lives and broken relationships. I pray for that comfort for you and yours. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vintage81 Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I'm sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I offer my condolences, especially for all the fall-out. I understand your son not able to come home. it happens, and the others need to get over themselves. you're in my thoughts and prayers your way. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted April 20, 2017 Author Share Posted April 20, 2017 Thank you everyone. I so appreciate this. I talked with Peter just a few minutes ago, and we are resolute. His molecular biology class is a terrible class with an awful instructor. The guy even admitted to the class, "I am pretty bad at this". (Subject of angst for another day.) There is a study group this weekend with a wonderful TA and another biology professor who stepped in to help because as of last week, more than half the class - entirely students with gpa's north of 3.0 - was failing this course in their majors. Not good! Not happy with the college for keeping an incompetent instructor on faculty. At any rate we all agreed he needs to stay put, and that he gets nothing but support from us. As much as I do not like being hard on mom, sis, and my brother at this time, I will be making it very clear that they will regret ever making a negative comment to him when he comes home the 27th. He has a 4 pm check out of his dorm that day. Sigh.....I cannot find those suit pants to let out! Must go hunt again. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UmMusa Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 Sorry for your loss. Hoping you can take the next few days bit by bit and not get overwhelmed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melbotoast Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I am thinking of you. I remember how difficult the whole situation has been for you and hope you find peace and closure. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 :grouphug: I can sympathize when a parent dies and things are in such turmoil. You're in my thoughts and prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I am very sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 Congratulations on making it through. :grouphug: This was my thought too :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane in NC Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 Sending hugs and virtual support. May your mom and sister find peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 It sounds like your son is absolutely making the right decision. I'm glad he knows you have his back on this and hope those who disagree are able to keep their mouths shut. And I hope the suit pants turn up quickly! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 Hugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoffive Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I am so sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alessandra Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 The situation sounds difficult, but I think you are making sensible decisions. One step at a time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I totally support your son to finish out the semester. I am glad it is over. Be aware that mourning takes unexpected twists and turns. It's okay--just let it be what it will be. :grouphug: 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Glad this situation has come to an end - I'll be thinking of you in the upcoming days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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