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My father passed away last night. It is finally over.


FaithManor
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You are a human shield and shields get battered.

I don't want to co-opt Faith's thread (I've been thinking of you this morning Faith) but I kind of needed to hear this this morning. I'm pretty burned out from dealing with dh's mental health issues and yesterday wasn't a good day. I have always acted as the buffer between dh and the kids when he is not doing well, working both to protect them from his irrationality and as much as possible to preserve the positives in their relationship with him (and there are a lot of those). I think I've been fairly successful.

 

But, yes, I feel pretty battered and worn out myself. I hate this illness.

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I don't want to co-opt Faith's thread (I've been thinking of you this morning Faith) but I kind of needed to hear this this morning. I'm pretty burned out from dealing with dh's mental health issues and yesterday wasn't a good day. I have always acted as the buffer between dh and the kids when he is not doing well, working both to protect them from his irrationality and as much as possible to preserve the positives in their relationship with him (and there are a lot of those). I think I've been fairly successful.

 

But, yes, I feel pretty battered and worn out myself. I hate this illness.

 

It's so tough to always be in the middle. :grouphug:

 

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I just prayed for you. Go home clean your house. Weep for what is, what was, and what will never be.

 

When you have dysfunction there's always a sting that the relationship was never right. It's okay to mourn that. You may have already done so.

 

Even with healthy relationships

, grieving brings out so much stress. I can't do all that family this and that and services and dinners without coming up for air periodically. I get the need to clean and have some space.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Update:

 

It was a good day today. Everyone was really tired and slept all afternoon. I was not around the difficult ones all afternoon. Schizophrenic aunt though is MIA, and this is very concerning. However, it is too soon to get missing persons report taken seriously so we wait to see if she turns up tomorrow.

 

This evening was spent with my nephews and their wives, all really great people while best uncle looked after the other mentally ill aunt. I feel so much better right now.

 

So tomorrow is viewing, funeral, burial, and funeral dinner. It is going to be really long, and very emotional for a lot of people with the wild card issue of whether or not the other aunt is found and why she was gone or remains missing. But I do feel rested enough to deal with it if need be.

 

Mom still looks so exhausted despite the sleep. I am very worried about her. I do not care what it may look like to others, an overstuffed chair and ottoman is being put in that church tomorrow for to spend the day in. She simply is not going to make it if she is on her feet all day only intermittently sitting in pews and folding chairs.

 

No one planned any morning or lunch food for tomorrow, so I ran out and grabbed a veggie tray, some fruit, some turkey and ham, Swiss and cheddar, and croissants plus lemon poppyseed muffins to keep in the church kitchen. I thought sis was going to do it, but she is just so emotional, and her hubby who didn't get in until 1am from Paris is badly jet lagged, so instead of bringing it up I figured it was better to just take care of it.

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