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My father passed away last night. It is finally over.


FaithManor

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It has been an horrific ordeal, one that has taken a deep toll on this family. So I am relieved that it is finally over.

 

Morphine and Ativan combined with slipping into unconsciousness made it a peaceful passing. We do not believe he suffered.

 

Now to deal with both of his mentally ill, very unstable sisters for a few days. I think my brother and I are ready for that, my sister not so much so when you have a chance to think good thoughts or say a prayer for that, I would greatly appreciate it.

 

Also, I have family quite angry with me. Our middle boy Peter, away at college, has a final exam tomorrow and one on Monday neither of which can be rescheduled. Both professors are having surgery immediately following submitting their final grades and before the additional spring semester begins. They are under no obligation to allow another professor to projector the exam and grade it so Peter can not come home for the funeral. He is okay with that, as are Dh and I. But my sister and mom are pretty riled up. It also represents 8 hrs of driving twice in one weekend on top of everything else. He does not have a car on campus so this is just not particularly doable anyway. Sigh...stress from grieving people that I do not need, but have to endure.

 

Oh well. The worst is over, and I am very thankful for that. Despite all that man put me through and particularly in the last two years, it turns out that I am glad I was there when it happened. Thank you all for the support. Creekland, Seasider, Maize,...I cannot begin to name you all, but I sure appreciate everyone!!

 

Now to go let Alexander's suit pants down. He did manage a growth spurt in the last three weeks! Given his food consumption - think commercial vacuum sweeper - of late, I should have known and finished that last week.

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I am so sorry for the difficult circumstances surrounding your father's passing, and am praying for you as you navigate the next days and weeks. When people try to make me feel guilty or bad about decisions we make (like your ds not being at the funeral), I calmly assure them that we have made a thoughtful/prayerful decision and are comfortable and confident that it is the right one.I hope that you will get through this with a minimum of drama!

Edited by Cindy in FL.
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I'm sorry for your loss, Faith. Please take care of yourself, and don't let the toxicity of some relatives poison your spirit. Funerals are notorious for giving disgruntled relatives the access needed to grind that axe. You are doing what's best for you and your immediate family, and owe no apologies for that.

 

Hugs.

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You and your family have been through so much.  I am glad he passed peacefully and that it is over.  I am sending good thoughts and prayers your way for the coming weeks dealing with the aftermath.   :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

(And I send sympathy and understanding for people being upset that someone can't attend a funeral.  some people believe that the world should just stop revolving so a funeral can be attended.  Life doesn't always work out that way.  Hopefully they will get over it eventually.  In the meantime, I am sending you good vibes and virtual support as you batten down the hatches and ride it out.  )

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:grouphug: I hope the next few days (months?) pass quickly and uneventfully, so that soon all of this can be just a story shared and real life improves. I'm glad you have closure - just waiting for the closure to get sealed.  May you sense some peace through it all from your Hive buddies - esp in the worst of times with family.  :grouphug:

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I am glad that you believe that he did not suffer. That is extremely important.  You wrote "so Peter can not come home for the funeral. He is okay with that, as are Dh and I. But my sister and mom are pretty riled up.".   Peter will be there, in spirit, but he must take those 2 exams.  Your sister and mother are way_out_of_line.  

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You are amazingly strong and loving to have shouldered all the burdens and heartache you have. May you find the strength to get through the coming stressful days and be surrounded with comfort and peace in your own little family. God bless.

 

 

P.S. I hope your son aces his exams. That's his job right now. Your mom is being unreasonable about it, but perhaps he could write her a short, loving note to let her know that he is thinking of her. It may bring her some comfort. I hope no one gives him a hard time.

Edited by Reluctant Homeschooler
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Big hugs Faith. I will pray that the next few days go smoothly and that there can be some healing for you and for others in the family.

 

I think the verse "blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted" applies just as truthfully when the mourning is over not so much the death of a loved one as over broken hearts and broken lives and broken relationships. I pray for that comfort for you and yours.

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I offer my condolences, especially for all the fall-out.

 

I understand your son not able to come home. it happens, and the others need to get over themselves.   

 

you're in my thoughts and prayers your way.

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Thank you everyone. I so appreciate this. I talked with Peter just a few minutes ago, and we are resolute. His molecular biology class is a terrible class with an awful instructor. The guy even admitted to the class, "I am pretty bad at this". (Subject of angst for another day.) There is a study group this weekend with a wonderful TA and another biology professor who stepped in to help because as of last week, more than half the class - entirely students with gpa's north of 3.0 - was failing this course in their majors. Not good! Not happy with the college for keeping an incompetent instructor on faculty. At any rate we all agreed he needs to stay put, and that he gets nothing but support from us. As much as I do not like being hard on mom, sis, and my brother at this time, I will be making it very clear that they will regret ever making a negative comment to him when he comes home the 27th. He has a 4 pm check out of his dorm that day.

 

Sigh.....I cannot find those suit pants to let out! Must go hunt again.

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