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Valley Girl

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About Valley Girl

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    Hive Mind Queen Bee

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  1. I can see why you're concerned. My question would be, at what point WOULD he think it appropriate to introduce your daughter to his family? Waiting until they're engaged and she's confronted with upset/disapproving in-laws-to-be is extremely unfair. Things can be said that may be hard to get past. (Ask me how I know.) In fairness to everyone, he needs to give his family a heads up. Everyone on his side needs a chance to get used to the idea and work out their personal hang-ups before meeting the poor girl. Is there someone in his family who would support his decision, or who could be counted on to say "I've met her. She's lovely"? ETA: Other posters have made some really wise suggestions about things that need to be discussed between the two of the them up front so there are no unpleasant surprises with regard to expectations or his family's involvement with them. Also, just because things are agreed upon at the outset does not mean someone won't have a change of heart years down the road. That happened with DH and me on a fundamental issue that had been "covered" before marriage, and it caused a lot of friction.
  2. I'm somewhere in the middle with my political views. I'm at the point where I'm thoroughly fed up listening to people on both sides, mainly because people don't actually want to discuss so much as expound on their own views and demean the other side. So I pretty much don't participate in conversations of a political nature at all. The exception is when my kids express something that I think needs balance--that can be either to the left or the right.
  3. I'm so sorry Yael. I have nothing but prayers to offer you. I hope you find help soon for your DS. I just wanted to comment on the suggestions to have troubled, potentially violent children enlist in the military. (Perhaps I'm misunderstanding, and that's not what's being suggested. I hope so.) I agree strict structure can be helpful for many kids, but really, do we honestly want psychologically troubled people who are already exhibiting worrisome behavior being given weapons training and then, perhaps, deployed? The military should NOT be used in place of appropriate mental health care. There are already enough issues within that organization.
  4. I've read a few articles about it recently. It's extremely disturbing. (OK, disturbing is too mild a word for it.) What I haven't seen is any information on what can be or is being done about it by the rest of the world. Thanks for the additional article. I will check it out.
  5. Do they celebrate Christmas? You can get books with spaces to records various details about the holiday as they go through the years together (photo, where you went, what you did, who celebrated with you, what your favorite gift was, was was most meaningful, etc.) This one's expensive, but you might be able to make something for far less. https://www.amazon.com/Christmas-Memories-Book-Maritime-Anderson/dp/0939510847
  6. I'm struggling with where this conversation is going at times because it's almost seems as if the message some are sending is "Don't promote breastfeeding so much because it makes moms who can't or simply don't want to do it feel bad." That's just wrong, in my opinion. I nursed my kids approximately two years each (or until everybody was ready to quit). I didn't have a family culture of it. I read the science and believed it was best for my babies. And yes, I encountered people who shouldn't have been working with new moms, such as the agressive nurse post-delivery who grabbed me and tried to force the nipple into my baby's mouth while I was still looped from the meds I was given for complications. When I had trouble at home, the so-called helpline was zero help. I would have loved better assistance because when you have a hungry, wailing infant, you need help now, not during the hours of 9-5. (I also had my otherwise supportive DH tell me my milk was "sour.") I kept those sample cans of formula in the pantry just in case. Fortunately, I was able to keep on and find help, and I'm VERY glad I did even though it was exhausting, and sometimes painful. It was the best choice for my babies for many reasons. My sister, however, formula-fed her kids. She had many well-thought-out reasons for her choice. And guess what? It was the right decision for HER babies. Right choice vs. right choice. It's not a freaking competition. If guess my point is, if you choose to breastfeed, be proud of that choice. You're doing your best for your kid. If you choose to formula feed, be proud of that choice. Again, you're doing your best for your kid. And, in the vast majority of cases, those kids are going to be fine because what we feed them is only one decision out of thousands. Own the choice. People can only make you feel "shamed" about it if you buy into their nonsense.
  7. Again, I'm not trying to discount your feelings, Mbelle. I understand them. That same child insisted on carrying bandages and first aid supplies in his school backpack because he didn't want to be powerless to help himself or a classmate should something happen. NO CHILD should have to feel that way about going to school.
  8. I understand your feelings. However, having just sent my firstborn off to basic training, I will have to respectfully disagree.
  9. Amen to that, happysmileylady! ETA: People cannot exist in a state of everything is a crisis all the time without there being a cost to productivity and health, both mental and physical. It doesn't mean you "don't care." It just means that time, energy, money, compassion, and every other resource is finite for mere mortals. I think we'd be a lot more productive in actually solving problems if the endless barrage of hyperbole and alarm-ringing on the topic du jour would ratchet down. And, no, I'm not just referring to politics either. Anyway, I think the previous posters make a lot of good sense. Off to ignore the news...
  10. For the past couple of days, I occasionally get the following error message when I attempt to click on a topic link. Update in progress We're sorry, this web site is unavailable while an update is in progress. You can try again by clicking the button below, or try again later. Site Owner This message means an upgrade is in progress. If this is not correct, try visiting the upgrade process again (usually /admin/upgrade) and choose either continue or restart. If the upgrade shows nothing to upgrade, visit the AdminCP and run the Support tool. You can also contact Invision Community support for assistance. Is there actually an update in progress, or is something else going on? The error only seems to last only a few minutes. Thank you.
  11. Also check the regulations for your municipality. Your town or city may not care that you use bricks instead of landscaping stones, but there may be rules governing trash cans and where they can be located. Mine does.
  12. Or perhaps they've reached a point where they believe that posting on a message board about it is as useful as the "thoughts and prayers" so many disparage as a response.
  13. I hope the sale goes quickly and smoothly and that your dad appreciates all your hard work and sacrifice. Since you've shouldered the burden for everything, perhaps sister in NC could come and get her own stuff or arrange (and pay) to have it shipped to her.
  14. Uh, oh. This thread is making me wonder what MY kids will complain about my having served them.
  15. It sounds as though the actual address on the package was the OP's rather than a case of a package with a different address just being misdelivered. I'd be very suspicious, too. I'd be googling the name on it in addition to contacting the police non-emergency number.
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