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My mom has passed. My heart is heavy


Amber in SJ
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Got teary eyed just reading your post. I know she's gone, and I can't imagine the pain you are going through. But, she left you a great legacy, wonderful teachings to live by, and her presence and teachings will always be with you. What she gave you is something that cancer cannot take. Will pray for you and your family!

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Some of you will remember my posting a few weeks ago that my mom was diagnosed with cancer.  In January the oncologist told us that if we did nothing my mom would have 2 months; if we had surgery, an aggressive radiation regime and 6 rounds of chemo we would have a year.  A year seemed like a reasonable trade off.  My baby sister is due in April, my daughter is the first grandchild getting married in May, and my mom's quarter horse is due to foal in March. I spent the next three weeks giving her round the clock care, sleeping in the bed with her or sleeping in a chair at her hospital bed.  No matter what we did the cancer was ahead of us and she passed on Sunday.

 

I could never list all the things she taught me but here are a few that come to mind:

1. Books are your friends. My mom not only taught us to read, but taught us to love reading. She read aloud to us long after most parents stop reading to their children. It is a priceless gift.

2. Bending doesn't mean breaking. I am still working on this one as it is in direct opposition to the "stand your ground" directive learned from Dad.

3. Being a mom means being in your child's corner no matter what. What other 3rd grader could walk home from school in the middle of the day because the teacher was "mean" and know that Mom would not get mad? What other 6th grader could miss every Monday in the school year and mom would call in an excuse week after week after week? My quiet, reserved and a little bit shy mom would take on teachers, principals & school districts for her kids' well being.

4. Words matter. Mom banned the word "stupid" from Dad's vocabulary because she didn't want to damage our self-esteem. I can still remember Dad's face turning purple as he tried to find a replacement word when we were, in fact, being stupid.  No name calling of any kind was allowed.  In addition to "stupid" mom also banned the word "hate." We were not allowed to say we hated things like onions nor were we allowed to say we hated our siblings. Hate was reserved for something so big and monstrous that she hoped we'd never encounter it. Sorry Mom, I am finally saying it. I hate cancer.

5. Everyone deserves kindness. Everyone. It is not our job to figure out who deserves love and kindness; it is only our job to give it. 

This is only a small part of what I learned from my mother. I miss my Momma. It was a privilege to take care of her. 

 

Amber in SJ

 

I'm so sorry.

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