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GinaPagnato

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Everything posted by GinaPagnato

  1. The guilt: scrupulosity? It's a type of OCD where you feel guilty about everything and constantly think you're doing something wrong/immoral. It can lead to ritualizing to cope with the intrusive thoughts. So maybe a combo of depression (fatigue/lack of self-care/not eating), anxiety, plus scrupulosity. If so, all very very treatable. I'm so glad he sounded better today. ❤️
  2. The thing that stood out to me was the talking out loud, quietly, before repeating himself. Am I understanding that correctly? Has he had indications of delusional thinking or mania? The zoning out could be mild catatonia. I would get a physical and neurological work-up first, as others have said. There is a condition called schizo-affective disorder that describe *some* of the symptoms. Lack of self-care, talking aloud without addressing someone, depression, etc. Has he seemed paranoid or delusional in any way? The early 20's are a time of massive brain change, coupled with stress from colleg
  3. In theory, I hate the idea of drop-ins. In practice, when it has happened, the visits are always so lovely. There's just something very warm about people feeling close enough to say, "Hey, the Smiths live on this street. Let's stop by to see if they can chat." When it's happened, I always feel a momentary sense of dread. But during and after the visit, I dunno, it just feels homey like we live in a sleepy little town where friends drop in unannounced and it's all good. We totally don't live in such a town, but there is a sense of community that accompanies those drop-ins.
  4. This happened to me and I clicked the online chat feature. I barely provided an explanation and they immediately offered to send me a new item. I got it the next day! Then three days later, the initial order apparently found its way out of purgatory and landed on my doorstep. So now I have two of the exact same books, lol. This must happen frequently enough that Amazon's chat recognizes it and just pushes out another delivery ASAP.
  5. Nothing to add to this particular topic, but just wanted to say how happy I am for you, DER, that you've embarked on a new chapter in your life. Enjoy it! You certainly deserve to. 😚
  6. This is the main drawback of those open floor plans. Same thing happened to my best friend. They bought a gorgeous house with tile and hardwood floor everywhere, vaulted ceilings and open floor plan. She went nuts because she could hear everything all the time. Her house was crazy loud with her kids! She ended up bringing in a contractor to wall off the upstairs hallway that looked down to the main floor. There was a hallway with balcony that you could stand in and see (and hear) everything from. The contractor essentially closed that hallway off so you couldn't see it from the rest of th
  7. I went back to work when my youngest entered high school. I'm still homeschooling, but not in the traditional sense that I did for years before that. For example, I don't sit and teach this DD any specific classes. Almost everything is through our local co-op. She needs help managing her time and general homework help, but nothing like the time and effort I had been putting in for years when all my kids were home and I was in the thick of it. Once this DD entered high school, I had a lot more time on my hands and was itching to go back to work. I've also come to realize I'm a very organized pe
  8. Thank you for this lovely reminder. I needed it!
  9. Maybe you're substituting the relationship needs that aren't being filled by your DH with your relationship with your kids? Idk, this just jumped out at me. Dh and I do a lot together on the weekends, and we've become one of those couples that watches TV together for a little bit each evening. We never used to do that, mainly because there was so much to be done with and for the kids. Now that they're older, I'm kinda enjoying watching TV. Who knew!? Yeah, and see, I am thinking I will have to force myself to be an involved grandmother, because I am really really REALLY enjoying creati
  10. I started working full-time, and that has been fantastic! I'm just way too happily busy with my work to keep stressing about my adult kids' choices. I feel more layered, balanced, and emotionally independent. I'm not always available for them at the drop of a hat, which I think is better for them and for me, honestly. Could you increase your work days/hours?
  11. I'm sorry. Your DH was rude and insensitive, and had it been me, I would've lost my marbles. You say you normally have a great relationship, so if this conversation was a fluke, I'd chalk it up to him having a long and stressful day, as well as a bad case of foot-in-mouth disease.
  12. A phone that's lasted 3+ years has had a good, long run. Thank it for its service to you (see, a little Konmarie added in there), and get yourself a new one. I've had Samsungs and now an iPhone, and I like them both. I wouldn't hesitate to switch.
  13. Precisely. I think it's just smart to get to know people in groups because not only do you have a chance to see the person interacting with others, you also avoid the pressure of a dating situation that always makes people put their best foot forward. There have been many occasions when my DC have been interested in someone from afar, only to decide they weren't all that interested once they saw how the individual behaved with and treated others. My DC may not have been able to make that observation had they moved right to dating.
  14. Well at least she wasn't sexist and didn't apply this to girls only, lol!
  15. I truly have never understood the whole courtship thing. You're supposed to know at, what, 18? 21? 24? who you want to marry? And this is accomplished without dating other people to discover who you want to eliminate from your marriage-potential list? How are you supposed to know what you want in a mate if you don't date? How are you supposed to know what you DON'T want in a mate if you don't date? You learn so much about yourself and others when you date so that if/when it's time to commit, you're doing so with experience.
  16. OMG, I would never last at that gym! I am a proud member of the great unwashed who use a gym to like...exercise. Sorry for your loss! ?
  17. Different situation for me because I really like my SIL, BUT...she is super duper political, and I don't agree with her on many issues. She's an activist and posts tons of articles and links that support her ideology. I just can't see that all day long, so I snooze her account, which lasts for 30 days. Then I dip my toe in the pool again with her, and if she's ramping up, out I go into snooze-land!
  18. I did this last month. I always do small purges in the summer, but this time it was BIG. It's hard to get through, but WONDERFUL when it's done! Happy tossing!
  19. Holy. Cow. You're not going crazy...he is. Bat shit crazy. Man, that's unreal.
  20. I think this whole thread reinforces the idea that parenting older teens/young adults is a tricky business. We *think* we've been teaching and modeling certain lifestyles and values all of their lives. And especially if we homeschooled them, we figure we mitigated a lot of what their peer group may feel pressured into doing. So when they grow up and we realize they haven't really caught what we've taught, it's confusing, frustrating, and sometimes even demoralizing. Like, "I've been teaching you this by word and deed for decades, and you're acting like you have no concept of it." I've BTD
  21. Lol, I'd never consider it a status symbol to buy Starbucks! I, for one, actually like the taste and I have been a coffee drinker for 30 years. That general contractor was weird for thinking and acting as he did. I would NOT suggest you use that odd example to draw your conclusions about those of us who enjoy a good Pike.
  22. I would think she feels close enough to you in terms of your relationship that she didn't think you needed a paper invite. She may be thinking she'll only send paper to friends and people she doesn't see everyday, but for you (and other close family) she'll spare the financial cost because you're close. I wouldn't feel too annoyed.
  23. Oh gosh, I am so sorry! You know your DS so well, so I would trust your instinct on how to handle the next days and weeks. Big hugs to you both.
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