leeannpal Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 At what age do you think it is o.k. for a kid to be home alone for more than, say, an hour? I am asking because of a disagreement I have with another person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Depends a lot on the kid. Some areas even have laws, as do, I believe, the military. For us, it was fine to leave my 10 year old alone for an hour or so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 In general, 9 or 10. But there are so many variables. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 I agree with "depends on the kid". For over an hour, I would hesitate for most kids under 11. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 As others have said, depends on the kid. When my kids were younger I also took into consideration how quickly I, or their dad, or a friend could get to them in case of emergency. (Our close neighbors are either out all day or too elderly to be of help.) I honestly don't remember how old my kids were when I started leaving them home alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 It really depends on the kid. In general I would say around 10. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeannpal Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 Thank you for the replies. My husband and I disagree about my 12 year old daughter. He thinks it is fine for her to stay several hours by herself. She does enjoy staying home alone, and, for the most part is a responsible kid. We have nice neighbors too. I guess I am just not ready for my baby to grow up. BTW, she has stayed by herself for more than an hour before and was fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Depends on the kid. For my older son it was 11 I think. The younger one was 9 or 10. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 I think mine was around 8. Maybe 9. He'd been staying home alone for very short times since he was 7. But for sure it depends on the kid. We just recently left our 11yo home by himself at night for a few hours--he watched Home Alone ( :) ) and went to bed. We don't go on many date nights but it's nice to know he doesn't mind if we want the opportunity (fwiw, we stayed in town and were just down the street if he'd needed anything). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 My son at 12 was definitely staying at home alone 2-3 hours. My 10 year old stays home alone up to an hour now this year. I just left her for 40 minutes to drop DS off at something. I do think it depends on your child and your neighborhood too. I was babysitting other people's kids at 12 for the evening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 I left my 8yo home this week when I took her sister to the chiropractor. I was expecting it to be less than an hour, but it stretched out to 2 hours. Everything was perfectly fine, and she was calm and happy. It was not her first time being home alone, though the earlier times were shorter. So I'm going to say, if you work up to it and the kids are reasonably responsible/mature, around 8yo. I wouldn't go too much younger. I do still worry about being reported to an agency that might disagree with my view of my kids' abilities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2samlibby Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 I've left my youngest home at a fairly young age. I think 8 or 9. She was fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 At 11, I was babysitting other kids for hours at a time. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 At 11, I was babysitting other kids for hours at a time. :) same here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 We decided on 13 years old to be left home alone (even for under an hour). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 It really depends on the situation. Are there other adults nearby she can go to for help if necessary, or do you lack trustworthy neighbors? Is she sensible and responsible? Does she want to stay by herself, or is she scared? Of course, it's important to remember that many people don't have a choice. If you do have a choice, I'd guess that the average kid can definitely stay home multiple hours by the time they reach their teens. If you don't, you do what you have to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondeviolin Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 I feel like even my 8yo would be responsible enough to be left home for an hour or so. We live in an area, though, where the standard is 12. It'll be a while, I guess. So check your local laws. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Thank you for the replies. My husband and I disagree about my 12 year old daughter. He thinks it is fine for her to stay several hours by herself. She does enjoy staying home alone, and, for the most part is a responsible kid. We have nice neighbors too. I guess I am just not ready for my baby to grow up. BTW, she has stayed by herself for more than an hour before and was fine. 12? Oh, yeah, unless you think your dd is terribly immature or mentally incapable somehow or has a physical disability or something...yes, she should be fine staying at home alone. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 My son asked me this the other day and I told him he'd have to be 30 before I would leave him home alone with his younger sister. :lol: My oldest was 10 or 11 when she was left home long enough for a trip to the store. I remember the first time I left her she called me crying hysterically. Heart in my throat scared. Turns out she got frustrated playing on my laptop, banged the keyboard and broke the screen. Both my youngers have impulse control issues. And they manage to come up with some really BAD ideas together. I think they will both be teenagers before they are left home alone for any length of time. It's only been about a year that we've been at the point where one of us will stay in bed or take a nap with the two of them awake, or work out in the garage (detached and no line of sight), and that only if they are playing on their computers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 I wouldn't hesitate to leave a responsible 12yo home alone for a few hours. I was babysitting other kids at that age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 9 or 10, but it depends on state laws and the circumstances. Will the child have a phone if need be? Will the parent be easily reachable? Is the neighborhood pretty safe? Is a neighbor easily accessible, and would the child feel comfortable asking for help if needed? We have pretty much zero violent crime here, so that wouldn't bother me, and while we are very rural, we live in a four way corner and have neighbors directly across the street in two directions that I'd totally trust in an emergency, and my kids would have no trouble going over there. And there are a couple of others within a quarter mile (so, not immediately within shouting distance but still visible from our house) that we don't know as well, but who would certainly help a kid in an emergency. So my answer might be different from someone else's. Also, it would depend on how busybody my neighbors were. We are a little on the fringe, even for this area, with all that homeschooling and home birthing stuff, LOL, so my paranoia level is a little higher. It only takes one call from a busybody to make a ton of hassle, y'know? So I will admit to being super cautious about leaving children alone, at home or in the car. 12? Wouldn't worry me, unless there were extreme reasons to be concerned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 A mature 10 year old under 1 hour over 11 a couple of hours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
naturegirl Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 I remember when I was a kid, I started staying home by myself at age 10. I would come home after school and have a few hours in the house alone before my mom got home from work. I absolutely LOVED having that time to myself. I never got into any trouble. I would just read, watch TV, play the piano or do homework. But I got to the point where I really craved having that time to myself and almost resented when my mom had a day off work and was home with me during that time. So, depending on your daughter's personality, it may even be beneficial to her to have time alone like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 For us, the age to be left alone for a few hours was/is 12. Our oldest would have been fine earlier, but as our oldest we were more paranoid (since she was the first.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 At 11, I was babysitting other kids for hours at a time. :) Yep, me three. At 12 I had a job working on the books for a daycare. My son turns 12 this year. The idea of him having a job like I did is bizarre. That said, my sense on this is influenced by the fact that he has autism. We do let him stay home alone for 2-3 hour stretches but only if he has his phone and only alone, not with his 6 year old brother. They have reached the point though where I will leave them for very short things together. Like running across the street to the store for a short list or having a quick cup of coffee with the neighbor. We are talking less than 20 minutes though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Probably 10 to 12, depending on the child. Be sure to check local laws, though. Some areas do have laws about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southern Ivy Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 My daughter is almost 3. Reading through this, I'm having a slight panic attack! I remember being left home alone for bits of time when I was 11 or 12. My sister was much less reliable/mature, so she wasn't home alone a lot until she was older. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ivey Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 For us, it depends on the kid and the time of day. We live in a very quiet suburb and have several stay-at-home moms around that my kids know well and could call or go get if they needed something, so I've been pretty comfortable leaving my neurotypical kids home alone for a couple hours during the day around age 10, but wait until 12 or so to leave them home in the evening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Depends on the child and the state laws. We started at 10 for my oldest with brief stints. My 9 yo doesn't want to stay home alone yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loowit Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 I didn't leave my oldest home until she was almost 12. I needed to run to the store to get meds for DS and I didn't want to take him with me because he was so sick. I left DD home to take care of him. The first couple times were a bit hard, but now it is no big deal. I would not leave my 9 year old alone at home. He just isn't mature enough for it at all. But my older two do just fine. I also try to remember that what is supposed to be a quick trip can quickly turn into something longer, so I would need to be comfortable with that eventuality. Once DH and I left the kids for what was supposed to be a quick errand but then we got in a car accident and were gone much longer than expected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Oldest, around 11 Middle, around 11 Youngest, around 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 I can't remember exactly when each kiddo started being able to stay home alone. I think for DD it was around 10 for short periods of time. I think for DS was only this last year, so 11. DD is 13 now and DS is almost 12, so I'm getting more comfortable leaving them home alone for a couple of hours. Everybody has cell phones, and we know all of our immediate neighbors. Heck, the town mayor lives just diagonally behind us. :D I am still not comfortable leaving them home alone after dark, though. I'm not worried about crime, but the idea of something happening and them having to run through the dark to a neighbor's house just scares me a little. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 At what age do you think it is o.k. for a kid to be home alone for more than, say, an hour? I am asking because of a disagreement I have with another person. 12, for a few hours. 14 or so, overnight, depending on maturity and willingness to follow safety rules (NO social media about being alone or parents being out, no one over, no answering the door). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 State rules for foster care kids says 12 years old to be home alone.....that is for kids in foster care. By 11 I was babysitting a 6 week old baby for up to 8 hours at a time, several days a week so unless there are other concerns, I would say a responsible 12 year old is fine home alone for a few hours at a time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 10-12 for my kids. I was left younger but it was culturally acceptable & there was a whole comic tv show about it.If you want to see a young latchkey kid who is left at home while mom works in Eastern Europe in the early 70's, here's a taste.Nikto nie je doma - which means "nobody is home" & what we were all instructed to shout if someone came to the door & we were home alone.Note the apartment is larger & more luxuriously appointed than most people in the Eastern bloc would have had at that time.& the boy gets into all sorts of troubles, letting in painters (who are supposed to be painting a different apartment) or having to get neighbours and the building handyman to bail him out of difficulties... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Definitely depends on the kid. I can't leave my 11 year old home alone for 15 minutes. He is definitely not trustworthy. My 8 year old dd, I could trust, but I don't think she'd like to be home alone. I generally leave her home with her little sisters when I take DS to piano lessons (15 min. Round trip) but that's about all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 I started leaving my boys home alone when they were about 12. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Depends on the kid, but I'm going to go younger than nearly everyone here and say generally around age 8. We are lucky in that dh works nights so when my kids were younger, he was always home... just asleep upstairs. So I was able to let my kids start doing practice "alone" around age 5. By age 7, we left them actually alone on many occasions. The first times were maybe just 15-20 mins for an errand. Then a little longer and a little longer. My boys are 10 yo now. They have been home for several hours during the day and on a few occasions for a couple hours in the evening/early night as well. I don't worry about them at all really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Depends on the kid, but I'm going to go younger than nearly everyone here and say generally around age 8. We are lucky in that dh works nights so when my kids were younger, he was always home... just asleep upstairs. So I was able to let my kids start doing practice "alone" around age 5. By age 7, we left them actually alone on many occasions. The first times were maybe just 15-20 mins for an errand. Then a little longer and a little longer. My boys are 10 yo now. They have been home for several hours during the day and on a few occasions for a couple hours in the evening/early night as well. I don't worry about them at all really. For my younger son I can see 8. He's six now. My stated timeframe is definitely adjusted for my older son having autism. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 We had a different set up, but one equally useful. So I was also able to start leaving my boys home alone at similar ages. But they were always together which I think has a very different feel to home alone. Also true here since I have twins, though now they've also been alone alone. Here's a funny thing. I think two 8 year olds are way smarter than one 8 year old. They'll keep each other out of trouble, take care of each other. But two 16 year olds are definitely way dumber than one 16 year old, right? They'll just end up in more trouble that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 For those that live in safe (low-crime, not high traffic) neighborhoods, how long were your kids allowed to free-range part or most of the neighborhood before they were ready to stay home alone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 For those that live in safe (low-crime, not high traffic) neighborhoods, how long were your kids allowed to free-range part or most of the neighborhood before they were ready to stay home alone? I guess I would challenge your idea of "safe" neighborhoods first. Ours has a good bit of traffic and is not low crime per se. Of course, some neighborhoods are genuinely dangerous. Some people live on four-lane main arteries without sidewalks or in places with very high gang activity and without a solid outdoor culture, I just think that what seems "unsafe" to one family is different if it's where the kids have grown up. My kids were allowed to be out on our block at about age 6 or so and alone at the corner park around age 7. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 For those that live in safe (low-crime, not high traffic) neighborhoods, how long were your kids allowed to free-range part or most of the neighborhood before they were ready to stay home alone? We lived in a somewhat dodgy city neighborhood quite close to a major intersection until my older son was 9 and 1/2. I never felt he was unsafe. He might see a drug deal but he was going to see that if I was with him too and biking around alone was a good sensory/relaxation activity for him. Small time dealers weren't going to be doing anything to mess with a kid in that area. We allowed him to bike around the neighborhood from the time he was approaching 9 and we let him visit the park across the street as well. We didn't really leave him home alone until after we moved here, which is a much quieter area without any visible street crime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allyphoe Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 There's nothing to do and nowhere to go in our neighborhood; even biking in a loop would mean using a high speed road with no shoulder and obstructed visibility. No similar-aged kids who play outside. So my DD was home alone long before she felt like exploring the streets. She stayed alone for short periods starting about 8. I'd be fine with her spending the entire day unsupervised now (age 11), but my in-laws live with us, so she's rarely alone for more than two or three hours at a time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 For those that live in safe (low-crime, not high traffic) neighborhoods, how long were your kids allowed to free-range part or most of the neighborhood before they were ready to stay home alone? The one is not necessarily dependent on the other. My kids have been allowed to roam the neighborhood within about a mile since age 6, but I am nervous about it because of other people's concern. I had the cops called on me once for something 100% safe, and it's not a great feeling. So what my kids can do outside is not so much about their individual readiness as how big they appear. Besides, there aren't any kids on our block except for the next-door neighbors (who don't roam). In the house, nobody has to know they are home without an adult. So their readiness is the main consideration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Oldest was fine at 10. At 9 I was leaving him for 20-30 min while I ran to get things now and then. He's always been pretty mature. Dd turns 10 in 4 weeks and she has proven herself trustworthy for months now. Youngest turns 8 in a week and I'm thinking he won't be safe for more then 30 min until he's 20. Ok, ok, seriously, he'll probably be closer to 12 before I leave him home for a couple hours. He's a little impulsive and has WAY too vivid an imagination. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 NZ law says 14. I do leave them 5 mins to go to the neighbours though (don't tell anyone). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 It depends on the kid's maturity level and the circumstances (general safety of neighborhood, trustworthy neighbors, etc.). Both of our boys were staying home alone for an hour or two at a time by ten. By twelve we thought nothing of leaving them home alone for half a day or even longer. As others have said, by twelve many kids around here are earning money by babysitting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Honestly, most kids are probably ready by 8. However, most parents are today are not ready at that point. Not to mention Big Brother... Unless the 12 yo has issues, they should definitely be able to handle it. Don't start off with an hour. Work up to it if the dc is nervous about being alone. At 12, mine wouldn't even notice me being gone for that length of time. An average 12 yo is more than capable of not only staying home alone, but taking care of a few youngers in addition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 My 12 yo routinely stays with the younger 3 for 2-2.5 hours. It took a lot of working up to and a giant leap of faith, but we haven't had any issues aside from some bickering (which happens when we're here, too!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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