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LucyStoner last won the day on October 3 2019

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About LucyStoner

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  1. This is what I would do. Burn it down. Blow it up if need be.
  2. There are all sorts of shows on during prime time that are not 6 year old appropriate. I actually can’t think of one program that is on during prime time that I would let my 6 year old watch. Maybe the more family geared sitcoms but it’s my understanding that most prime time TV is more like crime and medical drama. ETA: here’s the lineup for prime time from the fall. I suppose I would let my 6 year old watch the Voice, Shark Tank and maybe Mixed-ish. Most of those programs are a solid NOPE for me for that age bracket. Most of these aren’t things I would let my 11 year old watch. One thing I like about streaming is that I can prescreen the stuff younger kids want to watch. Also, no commercials which I find often have sexism and other problems.
  3. Conversations with boys who are being raised in a misogynistic culture must start early or before you know it, you have a son who participates in a misogynistic culture. You also have a teenage son Katie and if these conversations don’t start, it opens them up for all sorts of nonsense. Just like anything else, there are different ways to broach the subject when it comes up that are more or less age appropriate. I’m not going to discuss a strip club with a six year old. I will let a 6 year old hear me discuss with his older brother why underpaid scantily clad women dancers are not an ok addition to our recreational choices. These conversations can’t really come out of nowhere. There’s a reason my older son didn’t fall for MRA type logic online as a teenager with a profile otherwise vulnerable to their machinations. ETA: Last weekend, over brunch the random topic was why it’s not ok for teen boys to ask for or receive sexually explicit pictures of teen girls. When *Middle school girls* are being harassed by boys at school *for nudes*, it’s incumbent on me to make sure that not only are my sons not only never going to do that, they will be about to be tell other boys to not do that. If I have had to had these conversations with my nieces when they are 11-14 years old, I sure the heck can’t delude my self into thinking my 11 year old son is too young to learn how we do and do not treat people.
  4. When my dad comes over for dinner, we try to send him home with things he can reheat. For example, he will take home a bunch of green chili (with lots of pork) and smother his eggs and burritos with it. He also loves to take home a roast chicken, because he can eat that for a few days. So if we are having a roast chicken dinner, I’ll roast an extra just for him to take home. He doesn’t use an IP but he does throw things in a crockpot. He has a freezer though.
  5. I completely agree. I’m not saying it’s benign. I’ve read way too much Dworkin for anyone to mistake me for the sort of feminist that espouses that sex work is empowering for women. I’m saying that if someone is down with the NFL but upset about this half time show, they are basically part of the same problem. “I’ll watch this event and stuff cotton in my ears about the sex trafficking supported by it but I don’t want my sons to see this!” That will always ring hollow for me.
  6. As established, I don’t watch football. When I see clips or the game at the bar cuts to commercial, I have noticed that the cheer leaders are seen then. When I think football, it’s a clear theme to see the girls on the sidelines. There are so, so, so many things that are objectionable about the NFL. If someone chooses to watch, they can’t pretend to be surprised by the sexual objectification of women, something that is *very much* part of the NFL and not just the cheerleaders. As a feminist, and not the fun friendly choice explains everything sort of feminist, it’s on me to raise my sons to reject the culture of misogyny or at least for me to try to do so to the full extent possible. I couldn’t do that if I wasn’t prepared to critique examples of that misogyny. I would argue that people watching the SuperBowl are in general condoning practices in the NFL that are far more objectionable than any half time show. Practices that need to be critiqued and rejected, You want impact? *Don’t adorn the sidelines with underpaid scantily clad women that are underpaid and subject to sexual harassment while at required work events. *Don’t tolerate ANY athletes and executives with histories of perpetrating DV or rape. *Don’t give money to people sustaining a system that engenders life long head injuries of people after short careers. Buying tickets, merch, watching all equals giving this problematic entity a lot of money. *Call attention to and seek to address the huge amount of sex trafficking around events like this. while people were busy complaining about JLo’s very short pole dance, there were, dollars to donuts, women and underage girls in Miami working scores of hospitality suites in hotels to “entertain” and sexually gratify the spectators of this event. Some problems are just more worrisome, more concerning than what is observed on TV during a half time show. Shows which are DESIGNED to evoke controversy. We simply can’t hold someone in JLo’s *more responsible* than the scores of men, uh, actually buying sex. The super bowl is one of the busiest events for that and we certainly know that women and girls were transported to Miami to meet the demand. And I completely reject the idea that there’s no time for parents who are football fans to critique the misogyny in the NFL. Assuming the kids have reached the age to ask questions and discuss values and morality, you just talk to them. During the commercial, driving to the game, whatever. If there’s time to be upset about JLo, there’s time to critique this stuff. “Hey kids, see those signs for strip clubs we walked by on the way to this stadium? Yeah, the pictures on those signs are pretty intense. Here’s why it’s not ok to go in there when you are older...”. “Hey kids, see those women on the sidelines? The NFL makes gobs of money but these women are paid less than minimum wage for their time. What do you think about that? Why do you think there aren’t males cheerleading?” ETA: I love baseball and have had the strip club convo on the way to the stadium. I’ve also sat with 4-6 kids at roller derby bouts and discussed why I like that more skaters are wearing pants and skating under the own names. I know, I’m not the fun kinda feminist but I promise my family doesn’t find me tiresome. I work in a good joke or three and I listen to their thoughts and ideas. Granted my sons and nieces and nephews are old enough to chat about a lot of topics but I do think it starts young. And again, limiting the content our younger kids see is the matter of *parental* responsibility.
  7. We both know that some women have bought into this idea that this type of thing is empowering. Neither you or I regard it as empowering. At the end of the day, I can critique the idea that it is empowering to women in general but I can’t really say much about what a woman finds to be personally empowering. I think the entire concept of empowerment has been twisted to the point of being meaningless.
  8. FWIW, the freezers in those dorm fridges don’t usually keep things frozen. My dad is getting to this point and he walks across the street to have dinner at his church a few times a week + relies on things that are pretty shelf stable. what is the breakfast plan?
  9. I don’t buy that sex work or stripping is empowering, or that there’s anything empowering to women in general in a commercial performance for the NFL. I just also fail to buy the idea that it’s surprising when women’s bodies are on display during a halftime show nor do I ever place the most blame for misogyny on women and girls - it belongs to men. Cheerleaders for the NFL are grossly underpaid (a lawsuit detailed out that it’s less than minimum wage with the promotional appearances and most of the sexual harassment takes place at those promotional parties and appearances) and subject to a high degree of sexual harassment. They are required to wear practically nothing every time they perform. If someone *lets their kids watch football and doesn’t offer a critique of these practices* I will admit to snorting if they find the halftime show objectionable to the point that it shouldn’t be on when kids might be watching.
  10. No argument from me on that. Nor do I wonder about why this is, because the reality lies in the same misogyny that commodifies women’s bodies into a product to be sold. The reality of women’s bodies are offensive in commercial culture because the commodified female form isn’t based in reality but instead in selling women’s bodies for one specific purpose. We can’t very well show puffy post partum tummies, linea nigra, stretch marks, sitz bottles, phone book sized maternity pads or anything else that makes it seem that women’s bodies have some other function than men getting their rocks off. Even with great fitness, a celebrity like JLo relies on extensive cosmetics, costuming, airbrushing (for print ads anyways) and much more to look like that in a body suit at 50. We see women postpartum who look runway ready. Doesn’t mean they *are* “runway ready”, we just see them as such in the right light, at the right angle, with the right props and airbrushing. The ad you mention that was rejected was fantastic. I’m guessing they were also counting on publicity from the rejection.
  11. Congratulations! 🎈🎊
  12. People have different expectations and experiences of church. Because, same as always, different people are different. The Catholic Churches we have attended have classes, groups and charitable volunteer opportunities and activities. Those would be the people we knew by name. The people my dad was in the choir with, the families who also worked in the food pantry and Friday lunch program from homeless people, the families of the kids in the same classes and activities as the kids in my family. We usually had dinner with different families from church at least once a month, if not more often so it’s not that we didn’t know any one, it’s that we didn’t know everyone. At a large church (NOT a mega church, just a large church with 3-4 full masses each Sunday), how could one meaningfully know everyone.
  13. I’m thinking about it more radically than either of those options. What if we valued women and didn’t commodify women’s bodies? What if women’s bodies weren’t commodified and as such no one was scandalized by our bare skin or felt they needed to ask women to dress differently (neither more modestly or more provocatively) to appease the people looking at them? I’m not saying that it’s up to men to liberate women (oppressors never do liberate their targets), I’m saying that we have to stop blaming women for problems *very much caused by men*.
  14. As we have established, I don’t watch the Super Bowl or give a flying fig about football. I heard ALL about this one. I didn’t hear about Miley Cyrus’ one. I recall a slight hoopla 5ish years back over her mashup with Robin Thicke at an awards show but I don’t recall hearing anything about Miley’s half time show.
  15. I agree that sexual commodification doesn’t become empowerment under the veneer of choice. A lot of what people ascribe to choice aren’t really choices made freely anyway. I just don’t think that people who have been systematically disempowered are those responsible for fixing it, even when some of us do exercise more agency that sex trafficking victims. Why does it always read like “what if female performers...”, instead of “what if male music and sport executives and male audiences...”
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