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Everything posted by LucyStoner

  1. Also, I would contact the pool that the CC owns and ask them why it’s not being made available to faculty dependents. Lastly, if you want to stay on your vacation for an extra week, stay on your vacation for an extra week.
  2. Do you know anyone with a pool? Could a small group of families get together for regular swim lessons? In a climate like Mississippi, pools aren’t just found at the homes of wealthy people.
  3. I was born in SA. The water has always been bad there, especially in older pipes.
  4. Would home water cooler delivery be less expensive?
  5. One of my nicest friends is a single parent to three by choice. She hit 35, knew motherhood was something that was very important to her but wasn’t willing to stay with a bad partner to have kids in a couple. So she used a sperm bank. She’s fantastic and while it is hard, she went into it eyes wide open. She also says she basically orders EVERYTHING online.
  6. I think most people do what they have to do, especially with regards to their children. Special needs parents get told a lot “I couldn’t do what you do”. When people tell me that I’m always like “what wouldn’t you do?” When dealing with your child, really and truly, most people will do what they need to do. It’s clearly hard to be a single parent but if in that situation, I think most people rise to the challenge the best they can.
  7. Au pairs have to meet very specific requirements and the pay and hours are set for the entire au pair program. There’s no such thing as a part time au pair. In terms of trading room and board for part time childcare- you need to be careful. Domestic employers are not exempt from minimum wage laws and in a number of areas you may not deduct the cost of room and board from nanny pay unless the nanny is choosing to live in for their convenience. The easiest thing to do is if you can find a sitter who would be a good fit and find the room option attractive is to pay the part time sitter and then separately charge rent for the room. Have a lease agreement for the room. While a lot of people pay their nannies and sitters below the table, you and the employee are both better protected if you only pay on the books and pay the correct payroll taxes. I’ve seen room for work arrangements devolve into eviction costs and wage theft claims so I would be especially careful in this scenario. Pay for the 10-15 hours a week at the prevailing rate and then charge a reasonable rate for the room.
  8. I’m happy it worked for you guys but I know many for whom much effort was exerted and no gains made. The research doesn’t support this as being appropriate as a blanket recommendation for all kids on the spectrum. My son was thin but tall and never at the bottom of the growth curve even while being very thin. One provider recommended it with no exam or testing and completely blew off my concerns about eliminating calorie dense foods he would reliably eat. I’m glad we got additional opinions and decided against it.
  9. The community Facebook pages here are as bad as Nextdoor for the Nimbyism. I had to hide them. A non-profit built some transitional housing apartments for women and children and you would have thought they were reacting to being told that the feds were going to put death row inmates on work release in our town and that the inmates would all be housed on their lawns. There’s also a new DV shelter in an old fire station here. The Next Door sorts posted about how this would bring in “unsavory” people. On the upside the posts do provide a handy dandy cheat sheet to identify neighborhood assholes.
  10. I haven’t found the evidence compelling for GFCF diets for *all kids on the spectrum* and I have a child who was not in a position to lose any weight. After consulting with a range of doctors, including multiple naturopaths we opted to not go this way for our autistic sons. My older son started expanding his tastes when he turned 12 or thereabouts. He’s still on the thin side of thin but that’s ok, so was my (not autistic) husband. If there are GI issues, I would have tried it but that wasn’t the case for my kids.
  11. Once or twice per year in a good year. We have the cuisinart soft serve maker. We’d get rid of it, the thing is huge but my sons love it and it was a gift to them from my MIL.
  12. I would also assume that the guests might slip off to the store and bring back stuff to grill. If we were staying with someone for the weekend like that, we would offer to get a salmon or steaks or something for dinner one night. I’d keep breakfast very light and easy. Let guests toast their own bagels and such. Other than making sure people knew where the fruit, dairy, cereal and coffee were, I would give myself the morning off cooking.
  13. Saturday, I would do something in the crockpot or order in. Monday, Memorial Day is a great day to grill. If you want it to be especially healthy, you could grill up salmon and serve it with veggie kebobs, mango mint salsa and salad. Or just have a traditional cook out with potato salad and such on the sides with a mix of burgers, hot dogs and chicken on the grill.
  14. When I visited my grandparents, grandma would always take me to dress barn to get my tom boy self a dress I would wear once or twice to whatever family function we were visiting for and/or to attend mass with them. I usually wore jeans to mass at home but I would humor my dad’s parents with a dress. They were all from dress barn after I was about 10 years old (I was 5’7” and a women’s size small before I was 11). I haven’t been to Dress Barn since I was 18 but I always remember the shopping trips with my grandma fondly.
  15. I can feel hate for someone without feeling the need for revenge. I don’t wish ill on people in general, and definitely not on the children of people I feel hatred for at any given point in time. For me, hate is just a feeling, like anger or happiness, and doesn’t necessitate me forming intent to harm even a feeling of malice. I cracked open a bottle of champagne and toasted my mom when my mom’s mother died. My grandmother was an awful and vile person. I would never have cracked a bottle over her head but I long planned to toast her death (or more to the point a world without her in it) and when it happened, I did just that but didn’t feel any need for vengeance. One of my brothers wanted me to fly across the country to say good bye to her. When he asked me, which I was definitely not going to do, it dawned on me that the woman could be next door and I wouldn't walk over to either say goodbye or to harm her or even share a harsh word. While I didn’t love her at all, one of my aunts did and certainly I wouldn’t have wanted to cause my aunt pain in any way.
  16. Often, yes. I have learned to manage it as as adult but there have been times in my life where feelings are all-consuming, in both positive and negative ways.
  17. Hate is just a feeling of next-level dislike. Very intense dislike is, by definition, hate. It doesn’t require action and it doesn’t mean letting oneself be consumed by it. While sometimes it’s hyperbolic, most of the time for me there an an element of truth there. I feel hate for all kinds of things and people at times. I love very intensely and that often comes with hating very intensely. Or perhaps just feeling things very intensely in general. It can be disruptive so I have had to learn to manage it. I don’t think I gain anything by minimizing it or pretending I don’t feel that way sometimes. I’m not feeling a particular hatred this morning but the day is young on the west coast, give it time. ETA- and honestly I don’t understand it when people are neutral in the face of extremely upsetting situations. Of course I can hate someone I have never met- if that person is precipitating horrific situations that are hurting people, why shouldn’t I hate both them and the situation? I can process the hate and translate it into action but neutrality doesn’t engender action.
  18. We got used to process servers here when my exBIL was filing bs motion after bs motion against my brother. It was pointless and the court ruled in my brother’s favor each and every time. He also liked to have the papers come here even after we filed a form indicating my brother’s attorney could accept service. It was a form of harassment. Their divorce is finally going to trial in AUGUST, two years after my brother left him. I’m glad your matter is apparently already resolved.
  19. We don’t register by party here. We actually have a “top two primary” where the top two finishers in the primary proceed to the general even if they are from the same party. Which has happened. The voter file can be obtained by the public as well. It’s not just sitting on a website for all comers but it’s available. I get access to a copy because I am a precinct captain. It has all my neighbors and if they voted in the last few elections + the party layers in information indicating if the voter is “leans R, strong R, leans D, strong D” and other data.
  20. My 10 year old insists he doesn’t know the order of the months. We use a calendar, he made a calendar when he was little and when questioned “what comes after March?” (etc), he seems to know. But he insists he doesn’t know the order of the months.
  21. Use some of the stock in the gravy but then add more or less stock to the pot depending on how much more liquid you feel you need.
  22. golden mushroom soup doesn’t have dairy and it has tomato paste so I would make a brown sauce gravy with a little tomato paste whisked all the way in. Don’t make a milk gravy.
  23. You can look up which elections people voted in in my state online. It’s all maintained in a voter file. It’s not private information to be registered to vote or to vote or not vote in any given election. I just checked and my record shows which elections I have voted in back to 2005 so the information is maintained for awhile (I have been voting since 1998).
  24. House cleaning companies have training and performance metrics you have to meet to become a permanent employee. I know several people who were let go from Student Cleaning after their probationary periods for missing surfaces or not making the time limits. Not for absenteeism or misconduct. Just couldn’t meet their standards. Most everyone can clean. Not everyone can be a paid professional cleaner. There’s also jobs that are skilled that require education and training that still pay terribly. Depending on where you live and the level you teach, teaching can be like that. Librarians. Journalism. Opera singers and ballet dancers. I know people in each of these professions who are out earned by housekeepers and grocery store clerks. If one thinks grocery clerks are unskilled, one has clearly never noticed the difference between properly and improperly bagged groceries or how much longer it takes to get out of the store when the checker doesn’t know what they are doing or do it well.
  25. Yep, where I live really couldn’t be more liberal and a goodly portion of the Next Door political conversations are not just right of center but all the way over to right wing conspiracies. Almost the only exception would be how some people feel about homelessness and race. On THOSE issues, there’s a broad mix of liberals and conservatives espousing the same fairly extreme and unkind views and a mix of the rest of us who are like “last I checked criminalizing poverty seems like a shitty thing to do, also, BTW you can be politically liberal and racist. Check it out.” I stay off Next Door because I just don’t need to explain “what was that boom” one.more.time. I live in suburbs where there has been ONE murder in 7 years but to hear the people on Next Door tell it, we live in a veritable war zone and every car backfiring or idiot kid with a firecracker is someone coming to KILL THEM.
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