Are they being passive-aggressive or just clueless? So bad!

Wat? Weird!

To answer a question, I have two teens and two younger kids. I think to them I am "mom" instead of a person. We are all close, but I am going to make sure they are taught about giving. They are generally very polite, well behaved kids. I am going to take some of the suggestions offered here. Thank you!

I'm sorry you are in a circumstance like mine! I love that you are taking control of the situation!

Yep. All up to me!

Thank you for the validation. I feel guilty for being upset. So many people have it worse. Some people have no homes or food. I know it's a first world problem. But this goes on year after year. I stopped reading FB around Christmas or Mother's Day! So depressing! I am enjoying everyone's stories on this thread. You all are handling your disappointments with such good humor. Making me feel better.

Let me explain a little, my posts are confusing. I have been direct, but the cheerfully just accepted when saying I want a little token goes nowhere. This year, after years of it, I am not being gracious. I am actually not going to allow being about giving, not receiving, not being greedy, etc, all of the polite things be cover for adults who take and never give back. Tiredof being polite about it. Honestly the saddest is it robs me of my love of giving, because giving to the adults in my life now makes me feel like a doormat or a sucker when I am never considered in return.

I so appreciate your response. My parents are a narc/enabler team, and I was their miserable, scapegoat only child. I have told my dh multiple times- in fact, finding me later in tears, I was told by him that Christmas is for kids. I notice he doesn't turn down the $200 cash gift from his mom to him yearly even though "Christmas is for kids." The truth is, my kids I can't fault, but otherwise I am surrounded by jerks. I need to fix that. I am very direct, but it doesn't matter.

I got absolutely nothing. As in, not a homemade drawing from a kid, nothing from dh, nothing from my parents. I usually get pretty much nothing and try to be not petty, but I am tired of being the bigger person. It hurts. It shows just what people think of me.

I've had to shush one of mine about coffee and alcohol. As Mormons we are taught not to partake in either. One of my kids is particularly a "by the book" type of kid and when small (5ish, I think), more than once said something like, "Mom, look, they are drinking coffee!" in a shocked (and loud) tone. I had to explain that not everyone abstains, that quite a few people drink coffee and alcohol and it's none of our business.

That seems like the kind of question a person would ask about a child. Does she still see the two of you as kids? What a weird thing to say!

I don't think number of kids in a family should matter one way or another in a conversation about whether it is appropriate for a four year old to be alone at a particular distance from mom and for a particular amount of time. It should be, in my mind, a consideration from the point of view of the whether it is safe for the child, period. If it is safe for a four year old, fine, it is safe. If it is not safe, then it applies whether mom thinks she is too busy or not. That said, I still don't know that I would make this LAW. I just would not leave *my* 4 year old unattended. I don't think I would call the police for this...but I would be really uneasy seeing a small child out unattended outside.

I'm not sure what I think. I wouldn't leave an unattended 4 year old outside of an apartment complex (or anywhwere) to play. Nope. However, I'm not sure it is actually breaking a law - is it? If he was snatched and killed, would mom be charged with criminal neglect? If not, should she be? I am just not sure.

I tend to go for candy, jewelry, and gift cards (amazon/steam/whatever). Sometimes smaller toys (Skylander characters, shopkins, ...). I stopped doing anything that is purely filler. I hate cheap, junky stuff that is just there because it's small and works in a stocking. The main reasons I hate those things are 1. no one really wants them and 2. they just add to clutter for no good reason. I also don't ever put necessities in as gifts.

Elderberry syrup + teaching my kids to minimize touching their eyes, noses and mouths as a general hygiene rule means mine are not sick very often. One illness usually goes through our house per year, and that's about it.