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Ivey

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Everything posted by Ivey

  1. We have a simple plastic Fisher Price kitchen that has lasted through six boys (and hundreds of cousins/friends). It's still in my basement for the occasional young guest and ready for when the yet-to-be-born grandkids visit. My older boys played with it until they were at least 7 or 8 - they would type up menus and take dinner reservations, so they couldn't have been much younger. I don't think it's odd at all that a 7-year-old would want one and I think most 3-year-olds would enjoy it, especially with a sibling to play with.
  2. Your daughter absolutely handled this the right way. My 21yo has Aspergers and the girls he's gone out with have mostly done the same thing - kept things very friendly/positive while on the date, then clearly let him know that they're not interested in a second date by text.
  3. We usually play a few rounds of charades after dinner. There's no prep work, so no one is put out if people don't feel like playing.
  4. One of my sons was able to work through a course syllabus independently, coming to me for help like he would to an outside instructor, by his senior year of high school. Another got there by his sophomore year. They (and my 16yo who is now in public school) could follow a daily checklist much earlier (4th grade?), but we only used them when I was sick or unable to teach for whatever reason.
  5. My youngest is 10, so we're on the tail end of this and definitely doing things differently than many of the younger parents in our area. We always let our kids eat the candy. When we had lots of kids ToTing, they would set up trades on Halloween night, and then eat from their own stash for a few weeks until I wanted to wash the pillowcases. At that point, I'd dump it all into a bowl and it was fair game for everyone. The last couple years, our younger kids have been willing to share with each other and the rest of us, so they just put it in a few bowls from the start.
  6. I struggled with insomnia until my late twenties, but since then have been able to fall asleep in 10-20 minutes. I use the trick I learned back then - telling myself the same boring story every night until I fall asleep, recapping and then making very minimal progress each night. I've spent the last several months telling myself what's happened to Izzie since she left Grey's Anatomy. Spoiler: Her life is nice and boring so that I can fall asleep more quickly.
  7. My oldest son has a friend who won around $4 million. He was a year or two out of college, and went back to get a Master's degree in mathematical finance. So he's probably doing okay. I also have an older relative who is much more financially comfortable than would be typical for someone in his line of work (teaching high school), because of the investments he made in the tech industry in the early 1980s. I would suspect good investments, a side business, or a large inheritance before a lottery win if someone I knew seemed to have more money than they seem to be making.
  8. My adult son borrowed one of these from a friend to try out and decided not to buy one for himself. He found that he couldn't actually work while pedalling, perhaps because his legs are so long, but he did like the way he could have one foot on each pedal and kind of "seesaw" the pedals back and forth. I tried it very briefly and understood what he meant. Instead of using it as it's intended, he liked it as more of a fidget toy for his feet?
  9. Neither of my boys (14 & 21) attended social skills classes at that age, but Ds14 is participating in the PEERS teen class this semester, and I am hoping Ds21 will be open to taking the young adult class some time soon. Looking back, I can see that starting social skills classes a little earlier could have been beneficial (I wish the PEERS class had been around when Ds21 was 14), but 8 is very young and I feel like the skills taught at that level can likely be taught through other means. Kids that young also tend to do better with shorter, more frequent sessions, so meeting weekly may not be the best format. The teen class meets weekly for 90 minutes, and the parents meet at the same time with another facilitator to learn how we can help our kids apply their new skills throughout the week. He comes away each week with homework, which he (so far) has really enjoyed and has completed with enthusiasm. They have a very thorough intake process, and one of the criteria for being accepted is that the teen is highly motivated to improve their social skills and relationship. My son says that all the kids pay attention, try their best, and complete the homework, and we haven't heard of any disruptive behavior so far. We pay roughly $100/week, and the program is 16 weeks long.
  10. Based on that policy, you are not obligated to report him. Do what you feel is right.
  11. I was taught James' in school, but have taught my kids that either is fine as long as you're consistent. My son James prefers James's.
  12. Yes, my older kids have been traveling alone internationally since they were about 15 (usually to meet up with my husband on the tail end of a business trip, no crazy adventures until much later). The only real obstacle we've encountered is finding hotels in North America that will allow teens under 18 to stay without an adult. In other countries, it hasn't been an issue, and we've never had trouble with airlines or any other transportation agencies.
  13. BakersDozen - I'm so sorry that you're in such an impossible situation. I do hope that her in-laws are keeping an eye on her. From my experience and my kids', things seem to move a lot more quickly than they did 30 years ago. When I was dating, we went out once or twice a week and didn't hang out in between except for the occasional lunch date, which was definitely a "date". After a few months of "dating", we'd become a couple. Now, young people seem to spend a lot more time together, which means that they get to know each other and become emotionally invested in a fraction of the time. My 19yo broke up with his longterm girlfriend in July, after dating for about three years. They're both very independent and went off to different colleges last year, which seems to have turned the relationship into more of a friendship, and neither of them seem to have been too upset about it. I really, really like her and I know she was good for him. I think they'll remain friends. He's since jumped into the college dating scene, and I'm glad she set such a high standard. I absolutely adore my oldest son's boyfriend of nearly two years. They were friends for several years before becoming involved romantically and I liked him from the moment I met him. He's gentle, level-headed, and a natural caretaker, and I absolutely hope that they last.
  14. My oldest son and I chat on the phone for about an hour every day while he drives home and cooks dinner. I know I'm just keeping him entertained, but it's one of the best parts of my day. And my kids who still live at home are relieved to be left alone for that hour. ?
  15. Another hand raised for MUS. My Ds21 also took two years for algebra, and he did well with MUS Geometry. The first few lessons were a big confidence booster for him, and finished the course in something like 32 weeks. It was a good year.
  16. When I was in university, most of my psych classes required that we participate in at least one study, and several professors offered 1% extra credit for every extra study we participated in (to a maximum of 3 or 5% per course). My kids have always been offered an alternative assignment, and I'd be surprised if any US or Canadian universities are still including participation as a non-negotiable class requirement.
  17. I should probably remind my sophomore of this! He starts classes on Wednesday, and seems to be far more focused on making plans for Labor Day weekend than on actually, you know, going to college. ?
  18. I was obnoxiously close to my family when Dh and I were dating, and kept my mother and sisters updated every step of the way. When Dh asked my parents for their blessing, word got back to me within the hour. I know Dh didn't give his parents anything close to the same level of detail about our relationship, but they'd been hearing my name for three years by the time he proposed so I'm sure they weren't too surprised. I don't think couples are obligated to keep their families informed about their relationship, but I do find it a little odd when people are much more open about some parts of their lives than others. If you otherwise have a pretty open, healthy relationship with your family, I think choosing to keep your romantic life secret from them can be a sign that something isn't quite right. That said, telling your family that your relationship is headed toward an engagement would make sense for some people, and not for others. Eloping seems to have become popular again, and I've made my oldest son promise that he'll at least call me before the ceremony!
  19. Based on my own experiences in school/university and my kids', I keep extra credit on tests to a maximum of 5%. This allows the student to make up for one or two simple mistakes, but doesn't inflate their grade by too much.
  20. Our 15yo started ballet when he was 4, took a break in 6th/7th grade, and is already registered to continue this fall. When he started, he was really into the fairy/princess themed classes and camps, so that was a plus for us! As he got a little older and the classes became more serious, he really started to enjoy the physical challenge of every class, and we moved to a studio that had a pre-professional program when he was 8 or 9. There was a little teasing from some of the neighborhood boys around that age, and a few comments from other parents (we're also in Texas), but nothing that his older brothers or cold "excuse me?" couldn't put a stop to. Now that he's older, other kids (both boys and girls) tell him that they wish they'd started dancing when they were little, so they could do what he does and also have a body like his! Our youngest son also started ballet at 4, but decided it wasn't for him after a couple years. He still takes hip hop dance classes at the same studio.
  21. I don't usually eat breakfast, but when I do I brush both before and after.
  22. We have a landline, because keeping it (as part of our TV/Internet bundle) is something like $4/month, we can have a phone on each floor so no one has to run up or down the stairs to answer the phone when it rings, our corded phone will continue to work in long power outages, etc. Our youngest will be getting a phone within the next year or two, but I suspect we'll keep a landline as long as we're in our house.
  23. I would prefer that my teen wake me, so I could intervene or go along with him if I felt it was necessary. At the very least, I would expect him to text or leave a note to say where he was going. My husband and I went to plenty of parties and occasionally drank as teens, and we know that two of our adult children did as well. My 15yo attended prom this year, and was invited to several graduation parties, prom after-parties, etc. so we have had several good discussions about drinking/drugs/safety lately. Luckily, one of our adult sons is willing to pick his little brother up at all hours of the night, so I get to sleep. ?
  24. My understanding is that "2E" means gifted (IQ 130+) + disability. It does not mean gifted + quirky, and does not mean bright (average or high average IQ) + disability. I actually really liked the term when I first heard it (10 years ago?), but I've seen/heard it used incorrectly often enough that it's started to bug me. Especially when people (plural) have referred to my child as 2E when he is not.
  25. Do you want an ASD diagnosis? If you are just looking at dyslexia/dysgraphia, the graduate clinic at your local university is an option. My oldest son is doing his PhD in educational psychology right now and from what he has told me about their clinic, it sounds like it would be exactly what you need. But, I'm sure every university's clinic is different, so I would call and get a feel for what they offer. Otherwise, I would look for an educational psychologist (EdS or PhD) who tells you that they will conduct a "psychoeducational evaluation" and that it will take 6-8 hours. You need an IQ test, an academic achievement test, and a few additional tests in areas where he struggles. If you are looking for an ASD diagnosis, I agree with PeterPan that you need an ASD specialist. Unless an educational psychologist has a huge amount of experience and extra training in ASD, they are unlikely to be qualified to diagnose it. The university clinic is definitely not the place to seek an ASD diagnosis.
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