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Everything posted by Ivey

  1. Absolutely. I would consider any type of "initiation" event where there is a power differential between the participants to be a form of hazing. The kidnapping aspect only serves to give power to the older girls and embarrass the younger ones. These types of events were the norm when I was a teen, but none of my kids' schools, sports clubs, etc. have allowed them.
  2. With reading comprehension, listening comprehension, and general learning issues, I would start with a thorough SLP evaluation. Find out whether her receptive and expressive language skills are age-appropriate and go from there. Once a language disorder has been confirmed or ruled out, I think you'll be in a better position to decide whether another psychoeducational assessment will be helpful. It sounds like her scores were slightly too high to qualify for a learning disorder diagnosis at 11? She may now qualify for a specific learning disorder if her scores have dropped slightly or the psychologist determines that she is achieving only due to "extraordinarily high levels of effort or support".
  3. I'm not on the spectrum or adjacent. I have two kids who've been diagnosed with ASD, but no one else in our family has autistic traits/characteristics. In spending time with other families of autistic kids, I've always been fascinated that the "broad autism phenotype" seems to be common in some families, whereas in others autism seems to have an "on/off" switch. Out of curiosity, I tried out the test and scored a 9. I suspect Dh and our neurotypical sons would score lower.
  4. The WNV is a very brief measure that includes 4 subtests - matrices, picture arrangement, spatial span, and coding. It yields an overall "Nonverbal IQ" score, but no index scores for processing speed, working memory, visual spatial, etc. The WNV said that my child's Nonverbal IQ was below average, because it includes coding where he scored in the 1st percentile. The WISC said that his FSIQ is average (coding is included, but as 1/7 rather than 1/4), GAI is above average, and processing speed is very low. Which is quite a bit more informative than "below average Nonverbal IQ".
  5. That stat sounds about right to me. I've always heard/read that 40-50% of people diagnosed with autism have ID, but it makes sense that it's quite a bit lower when Aspergers/ASD Level 1 cases are included. Ds15's scores have fluctuated over the years, but even when they were "low" overall he scored high enough on some subtests that it was clear he didn't have ID. Those psych reports were full of caveats and detailed explanations of why certain scores were or weren't likely representative of Ds's true abilities. That's just weird. We had an almost opposite experience last spring when Ds15 was assessed by the public school psych. Because he has ASD and a history of language delays, she said she had to administer the Wechsler Non-Verbal rather than the WISC. This is *after* she saw his testing from 2016 stating his overall language and verbal comprehension were in the average range. The WNV is very brief and doesn't include index scores, so we ended up getting a WISC (and a few other tests) done privately over the summer and talking his school into considering both reports.
  6. According to my 16yo fashion guru, there is a trend in some areas for teens to wear "mom jeans" ironically, but they buy them from teen brands (like these ones from Hollister) or from vintage stores. The Eddie Bauer jeans you linked are "real" mom jeans and would be very out of place in any high school. If the "mom jean" trend hasn't hit your area, skinny jeans / jeggings really are the only trendy style of jeans for teenage girls. The Aeropostale pair you linked look great, especially in navy! Tight, light-colored jeans do tend to highlight curves, so sticking with darker colors might be a compromise you can both live with?
  7. We're in the same boat as you - we signed an IEP two weeks ago for our always-homeschooled 14-year-old with ASD2 who will be starting public high school in the fall. He's set up to take a full academic course load, without any non-academic interventions, so we'll have to keep up his therapy and interventions outside of school. I'm satisfied with the IEP as it stands, but I know it will take some time for Ds to learn to make appropriate use of his accommodations and we will likely have to make some adjustments depending on what works and what doesn't. I have a good relationship with the high school guidance counselor (my older son has been in the school for two years) and he, the middle school guidance counselor, the middle school special ed teacher, and the school psych all contributed to or reviewed the IEP. Ds will also be assigned a special education teacher as his "case manager", but we won't know who that is until the fall. Ds does have an LD in written expression ("partially remediated", according to the school psych report!), so he'll be in a co-taught English class with a special education teacher to work on writing goals and help with AT. Otherwise, he'll be in regular education classes (honors just for math) with a slew of accommodations - taking tests in a quiet testing room with extended time, completing assignments in the resource or testing room when he needs a break from the classroom, breaks from class as needed either in the sensory room, resource room, or a lounge outside the guidance office, etc. A big one for me is that the teachers will be required to provide him with copies of notes for every class, so he hopefully won't be too afraid of missing things. Ds has also visited the school several times, and will visit again the week before school starts to meet all of his teachers. We did ask about having non-curricular classes or a study hall in his schedule, but the guidance counselor explained that several years ago the district mandated that all students on the diploma track be on a 4-year graduation plan, so they no longer have any non-curricular courses for diploma-track students. He said if Ds were to be placed in a "social skills" class now, Ds's classmates would mostly be non-verbal. Ds will be allowed to have a study hall in his schedule after freshman year if he earns an extra credit by playing on a school sports team or taking a summer school class. So I've already signed him up for cross-country lol.
  8. We have a simple plastic Fisher Price kitchen that has lasted through six boys (and hundreds of cousins/friends). It's still in my basement for the occasional young guest and ready for when the yet-to-be-born grandkids visit. My older boys played with it until they were at least 7 or 8 - they would type up menus and take dinner reservations, so they couldn't have been much younger. I don't think it's odd at all that a 7-year-old would want one and I think most 3-year-olds would enjoy it, especially with a sibling to play with.
  9. Your daughter absolutely handled this the right way. My 21yo has Aspergers and the girls he's gone out with have mostly done the same thing - kept things very friendly/positive while on the date, then clearly let him know that they're not interested in a second date by text.
  10. We usually play a few rounds of charades after dinner. There's no prep work, so no one is put out if people don't feel like playing.
  11. One of my sons was able to work through a course syllabus independently, coming to me for help like he would to an outside instructor, by his senior year of high school. Another got there by his sophomore year. They (and my 16yo who is now in public school) could follow a daily checklist much earlier (4th grade?), but we only used them when I was sick or unable to teach for whatever reason.
  12. My oldest son has a friend who won around $4 million. He was a year or two out of college, and went back to get a Master's degree in mathematical finance. So he's probably doing okay. I also have an older relative who is much more financially comfortable than would be typical for someone in his line of work (teaching high school), because of the investments he made in the tech industry in the early 1980s. I would suspect good investments, a side business, or a large inheritance before a lottery win if someone I knew seemed to have more money than they seem to be making.
  13. My adult son borrowed one of these from a friend to try out and decided not to buy one for himself. He found that he couldn't actually work while pedalling, perhaps because his legs are so long, but he did like the way he could have one foot on each pedal and kind of "seesaw" the pedals back and forth. I tried it very briefly and understood what he meant. Instead of using it as it's intended, he liked it as more of a fidget toy for his feet?
  14. Neither of my boys (14 & 21) attended social skills classes at that age, but Ds14 is participating in the PEERS teen class this semester, and I am hoping Ds21 will be open to taking the young adult class some time soon. Looking back, I can see that starting social skills classes a little earlier could have been beneficial (I wish the PEERS class had been around when Ds21 was 14), but 8 is very young and I feel like the skills taught at that level can likely be taught through other means. Kids that young also tend to do better with shorter, more frequent sessions, so meeting weekly may not be the best format. The teen class meets weekly for 90 minutes, and the parents meet at the same time with another facilitator to learn how we can help our kids apply their new skills throughout the week. He comes away each week with homework, which he (so far) has really enjoyed and has completed with enthusiasm. They have a very thorough intake process, and one of the criteria for being accepted is that the teen is highly motivated to improve their social skills and relationship. My son says that all the kids pay attention, try their best, and complete the homework, and we haven't heard of any disruptive behavior so far. We pay roughly $100/week, and the program is 16 weeks long.
  15. Based on that policy, you are not obligated to report him. Do what you feel is right.
  16. I was taught James' in school, but have taught my kids that either is fine as long as you're consistent. My son James prefers James's.
  17. Yes, my older kids have been traveling alone internationally since they were about 15 (usually to meet up with my husband on the tail end of a business trip, no crazy adventures until much later). The only real obstacle we've encountered is finding hotels in North America that will allow teens under 18 to stay without an adult. In other countries, it hasn't been an issue, and we've never had trouble with airlines or any other transportation agencies.
  18. BakersDozen - I'm so sorry that you're in such an impossible situation. I do hope that her in-laws are keeping an eye on her. From my experience and my kids', things seem to move a lot more quickly than they did 30 years ago. When I was dating, we went out once or twice a week and didn't hang out in between except for the occasional lunch date, which was definitely a "date". After a few months of "dating", we'd become a couple. Now, young people seem to spend a lot more time together, which means that they get to know each other and become emotionally invested in a fraction of the time. My 19yo broke up with his longterm girlfriend in July, after dating for about three years. They're both very independent and went off to different colleges last year, which seems to have turned the relationship into more of a friendship, and neither of them seem to have been too upset about it. I really, really like her and I know she was good for him. I think they'll remain friends. He's since jumped into the college dating scene, and I'm glad she set such a high standard. I absolutely adore my oldest son's boyfriend of nearly two years. They were friends for several years before becoming involved romantically and I liked him from the moment I met him. He's gentle, level-headed, and a natural caretaker, and I absolutely hope that they last.
  19. My oldest son and I chat on the phone for about an hour every day while he drives home and cooks dinner. I know I'm just keeping him entertained, but it's one of the best parts of my day. And my kids who still live at home are relieved to be left alone for that hour. ?
  20. When I was in university, most of my psych classes required that we participate in at least one study, and several professors offered 1% extra credit for every extra study we participated in (to a maximum of 3 or 5% per course). My kids have always been offered an alternative assignment, and I'd be surprised if any US or Canadian universities are still including participation as a non-negotiable class requirement.
  21. I should probably remind my sophomore of this! He starts classes on Wednesday, and seems to be far more focused on making plans for Labor Day weekend than on actually, you know, going to college. ?
  22. I was obnoxiously close to my family when Dh and I were dating, and kept my mother and sisters updated every step of the way. When Dh asked my parents for their blessing, word got back to me within the hour. I know Dh didn't give his parents anything close to the same level of detail about our relationship, but they'd been hearing my name for three years by the time he proposed so I'm sure they weren't too surprised. I don't think couples are obligated to keep their families informed about their relationship, but I do find it a little odd when people are much more open about some parts of their lives than others. If you otherwise have a pretty open, healthy relationship with your family, I think choosing to keep your romantic life secret from them can be a sign that something isn't quite right. That said, telling your family that your relationship is headed toward an engagement would make sense for some people, and not for others. Eloping seems to have become popular again, and I've made my oldest son promise that he'll at least call me before the ceremony!
  23. Based on my own experiences in school/university and my kids', I keep extra credit on tests to a maximum of 5%. This allows the student to make up for one or two simple mistakes, but doesn't inflate their grade by too much.
  24. Our 15yo started ballet when he was 4, took a break in 6th/7th grade, and is already registered to continue this fall. When he started, he was really into the fairy/princess themed classes and camps, so that was a plus for us! As he got a little older and the classes became more serious, he really started to enjoy the physical challenge of every class, and we moved to a studio that had a pre-professional program when he was 8 or 9. There was a little teasing from some of the neighborhood boys around that age, and a few comments from other parents (we're also in Texas), but nothing that his older brothers or cold "excuse me?" couldn't put a stop to. Now that he's older, other kids (both boys and girls) tell him that they wish they'd started dancing when they were little, so they could do what he does and also have a body like his! Our youngest son also started ballet at 4, but decided it wasn't for him after a couple years. He still takes hip hop dance classes at the same studio.
  25. I don't usually eat breakfast, but when I do I brush both before and after.
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