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moonflower last won the day on June 23

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About moonflower

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  1. Well that was a ridiculous hour-long rabbit hole of whether adrenal fatigue, chronic Lyme, chiropractory, and etc. are more woo than not woo.
  2. I feel like this is an issue for the psychologist and not for just increasing levels of explanation (although maybe the priest will help, as an authority of the Church). It's really developmentally appropriate in some ways for kids to think they need to fix their parents at this age (my sister, after taking D.A.R.E. at school in 5th grade, came home every day and tossed all of my dad's cigarettes. we were not rich and this made him quite mad). Generally, though, a 10 year old can understand that their parents' personal decisions, for health or religion or morality, are not something for kids to worry about or attempt to change on a continual basis. Given his history of trauma it definitely sounds like a mental issue and I don't think either giving in to it or trying to talk him out of it is going to work that well by itself.
  3. Hmm, I misinterpreted the OP, I think - I am not religious, nor was I raised with religion, so I'm pretty ignorant about the whole thing. Since your concern is not a disagreement between two adults about a religious requirement, or even a difficulty the two parents are having in trading off who gets to go to Mass when, but rather an issue of (mis)understanding by your minor son, it's really a very different question. Or maybe I'm still misunderstanding. Are you yourself unsure about whether staying home to take care of your DS is religiously acceptable? Or is it just that your DS is unsure, perhaps as a PTSD or anxiety-based reaction (and the fact that he's a young child and doesn't fully understand the religious requirement)? If it is the latter, I think there are definitely ways to say kindly to a child that their parents' religious obligations and decisions are not the child's concern - that is to say, I don't need my children to question my religious beliefs or practices, as I'm an adult and can make those decisions for myself. I would do whatever you can to help him understand both the legitimacy of your position (having hte priest over to explain it would probably help, as he's in a position of authority) and to understand that in any case, your immortal soul is not his responsibility at age (9? 10?).
  4. I don't know that either parent really has much room or reason to tell the other parent what their religious obligations are; the conflict would come if both parents really feel compelled to go if at all possible and in that case you'd just trade off weeks, right?
  5. Oh, this! I do this one! Not if I'm just doing out for groceries, necessarily, but if we go on vacation or on a longer day trip, I do a big clean. It is nice to come home to a completely clean house. The kids are not generally enthused by a big clean but they are resigned.
  6. ugh, that is a pain probably you could replace a toilet seal; we take off the toilet ourselves when something gets stuck (well, we've done it three times) and it is a huge pain but not impossible. Is there anyone you can call? I mean can you call the maintenance people directly?
  7. landlords are like this in my experience, almost all landlords everywhere. I'm not really sure why - it's like, you've got one job, to maintain the property; I've got one job, to pay the rent on time. I do my job all the time, every time. Landlords, ugh. The only thing I've found that works, when it does work, is to call very frequently and be the annoying tenant they finally just want to get to be quiet. Then they'll come fix it. If they give you the schtick our current landlord gives you ("we've scheduled the maintenance, they'll be there at the end of next week" - then they don't show up, you call, they say they'll call maintenance again, you wait a week and call back, they say oh yeah, that got missed, we'll let them know, they schedule for the week after next, ad infinitum), I find it easiest to be somewhat forceful about it after the first grace period. "Okay, the end of next week will be fine, but they absolutely must be here then because I have small children in the house and need [electricity in the kitchen, safe access to the yard, a functional toilet]." Then call again the day before they are supposed to show up (both the people themselves and the landord. "Just wanted to make sure this appointment is still on for tomorrow; we are really counting on it," etc. If it is a water issue, esp. with regards to the toilet or other leaking water, you can suggest the possibility of damage from ongoing malfunction: "I'm worried that the toilet is not seated properly and is still leaking. It looks to me like there is water escaping the seal regularly and I'm concerned that it is going to get into the subfloor and cause mold." "I worry that the open pipe in our yard could be causing damage to the foundation, in addition to being an unsafe environment for our children. Please send someone out right away to check on this." repeat, repeat, repeat. Eventually most landlords get tired of hearing about it and just come fix it. I'm sorry you're having to deal with it, though. It's a pain for sure! Here in Missouri if something is not to code (the pipe surely isn't) you can submit a letter to the landlord giving them 14 days to redress (or a suitably shorter time in case of emergency like a hole in the roof) and then fix it yourself and withhold rent.
  8. We're pretty similar to you in some ways and very different in others. We also don't have a TV or streaming video or video games or ipads or any of that, largely because we have seen the village and we do not want it raising our children, tyvm. But we're also pretty relaxed as far as formal manners go - we don't teach the kids to say please and thank you, or that kind of thing, because we see it largely as a formality and we're not big on formality. So I think you have to pick your battles if you want neighborhood friends (which, when we were homeschooling and living in a neighborhood with other kids, were lifesavers socially). If you have other social outlets it's probably no big deal, but we aren't religious and couldn't seem to fit with any of the homeschool groups, so friends were hard to come by. I agree with madteaparty that it would be better to host kids in your home than have anxiety about your kids being exposed to youtube and TV and etc. in other peoples' homes; while a kid who doesn't behave with the social norms you prefer might be mildly annoying, I'm not sure why it would be so annoying that you'd want to ban them from the house. If they're being aggressive or snide or dangerous or mean, sure - but just not looking at you or talking to you with the right words? Not knowing your house rules before you explain them? These are not things I would find impossible to tolerate.
  9. Again, after age 10, I lived in a very racially homogenous community. There was no mocking of minorities; there were very few minorities (racially speaking). When I was younger, I lived for a while in married student housing at UT Austin, and it was super ethnically diverse; my best friend was Chinese. We didn't mock each other's culture or race.
  10. I don't: make my bed wake up at the same time every day get the same amount of (enough) sleep every night wash dishes take a daily shower get dressed in the morning clean bathrooms put away clean clothes right away drink water regularly keep a calendar or look at one exercise regularly read aloud to kids who can read themselves floss regularly (I do floss a lot though - just not on any schedule)
  11. Like kiwik, I thought I didn't have any good habits. But I have thought of a few: I clean out the car at the gas station pretty much every time I get gas. DH is very orderly and has contributed to a lot of my good habits; hard to say if I'd do them without him, but then I did marry him so I feel like I can take partial credit. We share an email account and keep it completely clear all the time. A few times a day we delete anything not necessary (e.g. receipts for ebay purchases), archive things that we might want in the future but don't need to have in the inbox (e.g. customers' logos), respond to things that require a response, and leave in the inbox only notifications of upcoming trips or appointments, and sometimes a to-do list.
  12. is this like a life insurance thing? or more of a supplemental health insurance thing? In general terms I am not a fan of life insurance, with the exception maybe of a couple where one partner is absolutely unable to support the family in any way should the other partner become incapacitated or die.
  13. Time Left: 5 days and 20 hours

    • WANTED
    • USED

    Used or new.


  14. We move a lot, so our normal m.o. is to buy a lot of candy, get few to no trick or treaters, and then eat it all at the end of the night, or to buy a lot of candy, get a zillion trick or treaters, and have none left for us. (we don't eat dairy or gelatin so the vast majority of t-o-t candy is stuff we can't have). This year, we live out in the country, so zero trick or treaters. Thus, we are going to buy a lot of candy and just eat it right away. I predict a screechy, sticky, over-energized bunch of chaotic hooligans will take over the living room from about 6pm to about midnight, when they crash (and we toss the remaining candy, if there is any). It will be fun. We eat candy like basically never, so it's like the 4th of July or something.
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