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moonflower last won the day on July 6 2018

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About moonflower

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    Hive Mind Queen Bee

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  1. That is interesting. How do you reduce high dopamine levels (or, even better, keep high dopamine levels at a lower constant level), do you know? (separate of drugs or, ideally, supplements)
  2. I don't think you're just emotionally addicted to caffeine, I think you're chemically addicted. (assuming you consume it every day). That doesn't make it a bad thing, necessarily. It does make it a chemical as well as emotional addiction, in the way that regular consumption of any mood-altering drug is a chemical as well as emotional addiction.
  3. I think I read somewhere once that people think they sleep better with alcohol consumption but actually do not sleep better. Maybe see if he could consider taking an extended break - say no alcohol for 3 months, or 6 months, or something. That might be long enough to get over the addiction (dependency, whatever - I mean it like I would with someone who smoked 2 cigarettes a day, say) and also long enough to see if after a period of withdrawal he can sleep better and feel fine without, so that it's not something he needs or relies on to regulate mood or sleep.
  4. Yeah, I don't think pharmaceuticals are the solution, if there is one - it's just substituting one drug dependency for another. But it might help him and you (you as in the OP) to see it as a dependency - not something that is in itself harmful at this time, particularly (depending on what study you read, I guess), but also not something that is casual or, well, NOT a dependency. If he's in a bad mood without it, and it's not something the body needs naturally, he's dependent on a drug for mood regulation. Lots of people are dependent on drugs for mood regulation, it's not the end of the world but it's not nothing either.
  5. I'd say he has an alcohol dependency; many people have a caffeine dependency or a nicotine dependency or a zillion other things. I guess the difference between an alcohol dependency and a caffeine dependency is just that if you end up needing more and more alcohol (not that you necessarily will), it can be a lot more detrimental to health and relationships and life plans than needing more and more caffeine. But yes, it's a dependency.
  6. It was bad of him to not tell you he was not paying 2017 taxes on your behalf when he knew you would assume that he would do so, but I think it makes sense for you both to file married filing separately (as you're separated) and it makes sense for you to pay your own taxes. I know it saves you money the other way but the two of you are no longer about saving the other person money, kwim? I don't know why alimony wouldn't be taxed; it's income.
  7. I'm not even religious but I think a ritual fast is a part of so many religious and cultural practices throughout history that there must be something elementally important about it.
  8. I wonder if you could find a more workable compromise by finding either a longish activity or a sitter for several of the kids at a time, but not all. So like, you could drop off your 9, 7, 5 year olds and keep the baby and the oldest at home, or drop off the 7 and 5 and keep 9 and 12 at home with the baby, etc. You wouldn't get as much 100% peace but IME when you have a lot of kids, just having significantly fewer kids for a few hours makes a huge difference. Seems like a vacation!
  9. You have such a nice DH, what a good dad.
  10. I don't get it either. I think for my mom it was a legitimate concern in a way, or at least an understandable one: her mom had 5 kids very quickly starting at 18 (with my mom, who was the oldest). She (my grandmother) had been an only child and didn't know how to handle all the kids, and got overwhelmed (and was also, tbh, a pretty selfish person). One day she ran off with a grad student, taking my mom and the youngest child - my mom was 12 and the youngest was I think 3. She left 3 boys, ages 10, 8, and 6, behind. Just left them. They didn't see her again for the remainder of their childhoods. So for my mom, having many kids meant danger, heartbreak, overwhelm. She was pretty traumatized by what happened to her brothers, I think. She knew intellectually that I wasn't going to run off and abandon my kids and husband, but the feeling was strong. For the rest of our extended family I have no idea why they care or think they have the right to a voiced opinion other than congratulations.
  11. Oh, I see. I thought since the ESL job was the only one you were interested in that that was definitely the way you wanted to go for a future career. If you're open to other things, I still think pursuing further education while you're homeschooling for the next year or two is a good idea, because of course eventually it would be better to have more job options (and income level options) than fewer. But if you don't want to go the teaching/tutoring in schools route that makes sense to me, there are lots of other options.
  12. Yes, you may need a teaching license to really improve employability. There are unfortunately a lot of hoops for many professional jobs these days.
  13. If you're really keen on ESL tutoring/teaching/para work in schools, I'd definitely see what kind of extra certifications you can get. I don't know that it always matters what your BA was in as long as you can pass the content tests, and being bilingual is probably a huge advantage.
  14. Possibly I was taking it too personally and/or literally.
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