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[alisoncooks]

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Edited July 27, 2022 by alisoncooks

[creekland]

Wow - I will offer tons of  :grouphug: and prayers .  I assume they won't make an exception for family (vs friends)?  I'd be a lot angry too to be honest.

[jewellsmommy]

I am so sorry! That really stinks. :grouphug: Is there any chance they will make an exception for Christmas or some sort of work around? Is there anyone you can talk to/inquire of since your dc are vaccinated? You could offer to wear masks.

[poppy]

I'm sorry, that's tough. You already have more than enough to deal with. Here is to happier Christmases ahead.

[AK_Mom4]

So sorry.  Hugs, OP!

[Liz CA]

Any way he can come home for a couple of hours? This is done sometimes under special circumstances but I don't know if his mobility issues would make this feasible.

[Ottakee]

I would ask the charge nurse/doctor for an exception.  Have the kids wear masks if needed and come directly to dh's room and back out after the visit.  You are right, the lobby is going to have many more germs for your dh than his own kids in his own room.

 

The rules are generally made for those people who bring every relative and friend and all of their kids known to man up to the hospital, not the children of the patient.

[bettyandbob]

I would think for dc of a patient they'd come up with a better solution. I'm not a medical professional, but why couldn't they charge a fee for dc to put on clean paper scrubs over clothing and a face mask. The fee would be for the masks and scrubs.

[Jean in Newcastle]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[athomeontheprairie]

Is there any chance that they will amend the policy? When my youngest brother-in-law was 19 he had open heart surgery. absolutely no visitors under the age of 18 were allowed. and yet the nurses gladly looked the other way while we walked his nine-year-old brother back there to see him in post-surgery recovery.

 

Fwiw, I'm so so very sorry. Many hugs to you and your children and to your dear husband

[Woodhaven]

Wow, that sounds very difficult!  I'll be praying for you and your dh and your family!  I can certainly understand how difficult this policy has now made things for you and your children.

[Elisabet1]

I am so sorry!!!   (((hugs)))

[Amira]

:grouphug:

[Twigs]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[bettyandbob]

This policy doesn't seem to take into account the psychological impact not seeing one's own dc could have on the patient. 

 

:grouphug:

[Guest]

I'm so sorry! That makes me sad for you! :(

[Word Nerd]

I'm sad for you. That stinks.

[UmMusa]

Oh my. How infuriating!

[EmilyGF]

When it seemed that our baby would be in the NICU and likely die there, the hospital agreed to make an exception for the no-kids-in-the-NICU rule. It is worth looking into to see if you can get an exception.

 

Hugs.

[Lilaclady]

So sorry. Can you talk to the manager on the unit and then administration to see if they can make exceptions!

[Eagle]

:( I'm sad for you and your family.

 

:grouphug:

[Guest submarines]

:grouphug:  I hope they make an exception for you.

[maize]

I am so sorry :(

 

Can you use something like facetime or Skype to at least continue virtual hangouts? Not at all the same I know.

[lovinmyboys]

That is awful. A friend of ours has a child getting treatment at the children's hospital here and they have a "no children visitors" policy. She talked to the patient advocate or child life specialist (I forget which) and was able to work something out so siblings could visit. Maybe you could work something out? Many hugs.

[elegantlion]

I'm sorry, that sucks. My dad spent an extended amount of time in the hospital this fall. It's rough enough without added "rules" I would ask for an exception. 

[fruitofthewomb]

Oh my heart is aching for you! I really hope that you can work out something with the powers that be so an exception can be made.

[Anne in CA]

 I would really pursue an exception. If you hear a no at first I would still go after it and keep at it. There are four days until Christmas and there must be something that can be done.

[gardenmom5]

:grouphug:

 

I'm so sorry.  perhaps if you are able to bring proof of your children's flu immunization they might allow a waiver?  is there a lobby/sitting area for just that floor they might compromise with?  (or even another floor lobby so you don't have to go into the main lobby/major thoroughfare)

[Alice]

:grouphug: That's so tough. I would also see if the social worker can find a way to make an exception. If they are going to allow him to come to the lobby to meet with the kids, ask if you could all meet in a conference room or lounge. (If you have a favorite nurse you could ask them about the lounge.) All hospitals have doctor's lounges and nurse's lounges and conference rooms that are way more private and comfy than the lobby. There are also family meeting rooms near a lot of ICU's (those might be less private and harder to set apart). I would see if the social worker, your doctor or a nurse could find a way to find a room that can be set apart even for an hour or two on Christmas. 

[Forget-Me-Not]

I'm so sorry. 😕

[NorthwestMom]

Maybe Skype?

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[PrincessMommy]

that's stinks...I'd be sad and mad too.  :grouphug:

[Whereneverever]

I'm SO sorry. :(

 

We just ran into this last month with DD2 at the children's hospital- in the past we've been able to bring the other kids in and this time they wouldn't budge at all. :(

[readwithem]

Hugs to all of you!!

I agree with trying the SW or head nurse - I would word it something like "Who do I need to see about getting an exception to this policy" and state just what you did in your OP. :grouphug:

[Pippen]

Last year when flu season hit I was staying with a family member in a blood cancers unit. The flu restrictions made a bad situation worse and we were irked at first, but staff told us what the memos didn't say and that was that H1N1 had hit the community hard and that they had a number of patients that were highly critical in ICU. It really was for the benefit of those patients with virtually no immune system to restrict the flow of traffic. The hospital restricted to age 12, but the unit didn't allow visitors under age 16 during that period.

 

It stinks for your family. It really does. :crying: Hopefully you'll still be able to make daily visits, and can find a way (like Skype) so that your kids and husband can have daily time together.

[FO4UR]

:grouphug:

 

 

 

Talk to a patient advocate.

[Ewe Mama]

:grouphug:

[redsquirrel]

Oh you poor thing. I am so sad for you.  I wish I could come over and watch your kids for a while so at the very least you could go see him.

 

I do think that talking to the ombudsman or a patient advocate is in order. I do understand the need for the policy, but really your husband needs to see his kids. It is helping him get better.

 

[happypamama]

That's so sad! I hope someone there can help you get an exception.

[Harriet Vane]

:grouphug:

[idnib]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[stephanier.1765]

I agree that no harm can come from asking. The worst that can happen is that they'll say no. I am so sorry for you and your family.

[prairiewindmomma]

We have BTDT a few times, over birthdays, holidays, and other big events.  It really stinks, and it's one of those unanticipated things that just hits you in the gut.

 

A few thoughts:

1. Technology is your friend. Skype or FaceTime is great.  The kids would send pictures via mail, and I would send them small gifts via email.  If he is neutropenic, you really can't risk the lobby.  The special filtration system on the hem-inc floor is there for a reason. :(

 

2. If he isn't neutropenic and you are just dealing with other issues, find a hallway in a quiet place (we used the hallway near the administrative offices where there isn't any cross traffic) and hang out there.  Hallways near medical offices that are closed but adjoining the hospital also work.  Bring your husband real food. He will appreciate it. ;)

 

3. See if you can talk the dr into an early dismissal with home health stepping in to fill the gap. They can do iv changes (heck, if he has a port, you can be trained to hang different bags).  We took on a lot of stuff between our kids' issues--dressing changes, injectable chemo, oxygen, etc. Home health had to pull labs but we did a lot at home because patients really do better at home. :)

[TranquilMind]

Sort of a JAWM/rant...

DH has been in the hospital for a total of 31 days in the past 2 months.  It's been 12 days since he was most recently admitted (complications related to medicines from his cancer treatment -- clots, internal bleeding, infection).

 

Anyway, my little girls have been to see their daddy nearly every.single.day. that he's been away from us.  We're very blessed that we live near enough to do this.  We just go hang out in his room, watch tv, play games, eat junk food. (I help him get his daily shower, since his mobility has declined recently; he needs assistance gathering towels/clothes/etc and getting them settled in the bathroom area.)

 

Anyway, the hospital decided that tomorrow they are starting their "flu season" visitor policy.  This means that no children under the age of 12 are allowed on floors where patients have compromised immune systems.  Ummm...that's my kids...and my husband's floor.

 

It doesn't matter that my kids are vaccinated, that we have less outside contact than most of the grownups that ARE allowed to visit DH.  Our new meeting place must be the main floor LOBBY -- wow, talk about germ-filled.   Even more of a stunner -- they've told DH he'll most likely be there through Christmas.  So now, not only have we lost the hope of him home for Christmas...we'll have to do our family gathering in the *bleeping* lobby.  

 

I understand the reason for the policy -- this is more of a JAWM.  We are just so sad.  It seems such an arbitrary thing (to pick an age that becomes allowed), even though we are low-risk and even though we have been in there daily for months.  (Especially sad because if the kids can't visit, *I* can't visit unless I make special child-care arrangements.)

 

*sigh*

:crying:  :crying:  :crying:

 

Pray for DH, especially. He is heartbroken... :(

That's awful.  Seems like they could swaddle them up in gowns and masks and take them up, anyway. 

[Caclcoca]

I am so sorry. This makes my heart hurt for all of you.  

[Lang Syne Boardie]

We have BTDT a few times, over birthdays, holidays, and other big events.  It really stinks, and it's one of those unanticipated things that just hits you in the gut.

 

A few thoughts:

1. Technology is your friend. Skype or FaceTime is great.  The kids would send pictures via mail, and I would send them small gifts via email.  If he is neutropenic, you really can't risk the lobby.  The special filtration system on the hem-inc floor is there for a reason. :(

 

2. If he isn't neutropenic and you are just dealing with other issues, find a hallway in a quiet place (we used the hallway near the administrative offices where there isn't any cross traffic) and hang out there.  Hallways near medical offices that are closed but adjoining the hospital also work.  Bring your husband real food. He will appreciate it. ;)

 

3. See if you can talk the dr into an early dismissal with home health stepping in to fill the gap. They can do iv changes (heck, if he has a port, you can be trained to hang different bags).  We took on a lot of stuff between our kids' issues--dressing changes, injectable chemo, oxygen, etc. Home health had to pull labs but we did a lot at home because patients really do better at home. :)

As we were recently a HemeOnc family, too, I was wondering the same as prairiewindmomma: Would they maybe allow him to go home sooner, or for awhile during the day, (maybe just once a week or for Christmas Day), if he were up for the car ride and you could take the nursing duties away from the hospital? Or is there an infrequently used family area on another floor of the hospital where he could sensibly/reasonably/safely visit the dc there?

 

I understand and support the rules; whether this is logical of me or not, basically any rules the HemeOnc people want to make, I'm for 'em. I will never forget how fragile my ds and the other patients on the ward were. So, so fragile. But I can't believe they think your husband should hang out in the lobby because HELLO. He is also a HemeOnc patient. That makes zero sense to me that they'd even suggest it.

[Laurie4b]

I'm so very, very sorry. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:  Your family is already coping with enough; you don't need this, too! :(

 

Like others have said, I would try to talk with someone. I think one of the main reasons that children are forbidden is not their age, but rather because they are in school where germs spread rapidly, thus making them risky visitors. If that's correct, then age is simply a handy indicator for being in school and at an age where your peers don't yet reliably pay attention to where they cough. But your kids are not in school; they are homeschooled and have been in the hospital. So I think it's worth asking if that is the reason for the age limit and if so, if they can lift it for your kids since they weren't exposed to those conditions.

[Donovans4]

I haven't read all the responses, but I do work in a hospital and we just received similar guidelines today. Our guidelines say no children under age 5. However, the guidelines also say "compassionate exceptions can be made." I would talk to the charge nurse on your husband's unit and see what he/she says.

[Mommy22alyns]

I am sorry, that's awful.   :grouphug:

[Jasperstone]

Oh, I'm so sorry you are going through such an awful time, and now new rules are making it even harder for you! :'(

 

((((((Hugs)))))

 

Will pray. XOXO