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Alice

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Everything posted by Alice

  1. My middle son was like this. What finally worked for us (at the recommendation of a LC) was to feed him sitting on the person's lap facing outwards, so not at all in the usual "feeding position". He would take enough that way to get him through. I worked about 8 hours at time twice a week and dh was home with him. Dh could get him to take just enough that way so that he was satisfied but he would eat a ton as soon as I walked in the door. He would never take the bottle from me or if I was in the house.
  2. Yes, 100% agree. People forget in an emergency. People sometimes say things wrong. People don't define things the same ways medical people would. "I don't have asthma but I just always use an inhaler when I exercise or have a cold." That IS asthma. With the meds..the best is being told the colors. "A pink pill and a yellow one." Okay, well that narrows it down.
  3. I was at an escape room once with five boys, all middle schoolers (two were my kids). They were all homeschooled or went to a small private school. They were all smart kids. One ended up scoring perfectly on the SAT math section, one is National Merit Scholar studying computers and robotics, one is a chemistry major, etc. I was only in there because this particular escape room required an adult. I kind of just stood there and let them solve everything, which they did- quickly and easily. Until they got to the combination lock. They knew the numbers from another puzzle but none of them had any idea how to do it. And combination locks really aren't intuitive if you haven't been taught. I opened it for them and rose in their estimation...it was like I had superskills in their minds. 😁
  4. Two thoughts... -This reminds me a little of one of my least favorite phrases in the homeschool world "never do things for your kids that they can do for themselves". I don't know if it's still said a lot, but I heard it all the time when my kids were younger as a parenting "rule". And it used to really bug me and still does. I finally figured out (pun intended) that what bothered me about it was that I wouldn't treat other adults that way, including my husband, so why would I treat my kids that way? I do things for my kids all the time that they can do for themselves. I also do things for my husband that he can do for himself. Why? Because I love them. And they do things for me that I can do for myself. The problem, in my opinion, comes when you start doing everything for someone else so they don't/can't do it for themselves or if they expect you to always do it (especially in the case of a spouse). Balance is key. Similarly, I think, if you are always solving someone's problems, that's a problem. But if I know how to do a combo lock, why not just teach my kids how to do it? Some things they have to figure out how to navigate and part of figuring parenting out is to know when to help and when to step back but I do think it's fine and good to help your kids when they need it. -The OP reminds me a bit of the attitude a lot of doctors have about medical education. I was in the older generation that came through before a lot of the current reforms and it has changed a TON. And part of what kept it from changing was the attitude that "I had to learn how to stay up of 36 hours at a time and function, these kids can learn it too." There isn't value in doing something hard just because older generations had to do it hard. It's the "walking up hill through the snow both ways" kind of attitude. I had to figure a lot out myself when I was a teen because of family dysfunction (alcoholism, mental illness) and although I was able to do it, I am grateful for the people who did help me along the way and I'm really glad that my kids have more help than I did.
  5. My kids can get a locker at their school if they want one. They don't have one. They said mostly it's kids who have an instrument to store or some large sports equipment but that most people don't have them. Their main raise is that they don't have feel like they would have time between classes. They also have only four classes a day max and they really don't have any textbooks to carry, pretty much everything is sources on the laptop or books they can leave at home or they use in the classroom. So they aren't carrying a ton of stuff with them.
  6. I'm a pediatrician and yes, this is a huge problem. Some things we have had some people do that work (and yes I'm aware that not all of these are going to work for everyone or are great solutions...) -Switch to a different med. This isn't always ideal but sometimes the generic is available (or alternatively the brand) or sometimes you can make a switch to a different but similar med. Unfortunately, it is somewhat pharmacy and area dependent what is available so I can't totally say what to switch to but his doctor may know. For example, Focalin is the dexmethypenidate...if he hasn't tired it he might do well with the methylphenidate XR forms that are out there. The dosage isn't one to one and you'd have to play around to figure out the right dosage but it might be worth it if he's never tried it and it is more available where he is. -Mail order pharmacies. Sometimes these are more available, and often 90 day prescriptions are allowed by mail order even if your insurance usually allows 30..that at least diminishes the amount of times you have to have this battle. -I've had some patients ask for handwritten prescriptions and then they can physically take them to the pharmacy, that way when they find somewhere that has it they can get it filled instead of having to call and risk having the pharmacy run out while they wait for the prescription to get sent in. -Ask the doctors office if they know of pharmacies that do have the meds...we have a list we try and keep up to date in our office of what is in stock where so we can try and just send it in somewhere that has them.
  7. We live in Northern Virginia, outside DC. The area as a whole gets dumped on a lot by people elsewhere and even by locals. There are a lot of things not to like (traffic, cost of living) but a lot of things to really like. As we have started to talk about where we might one day want to retire, we keep coming back to we like it here. -Four seasons -Lots of opportunities for culture (free museums, theater, any kind of performance of anything) -Ethnic food (one of our nieces lives in Wisconsin in a gorgeous resort kind of town and she really really misses the food here). This would be the hardest for dh to move away from. He would really miss not having an Asian grocery store to go to regularly. -Close enough to lots of other places...beach and mountains are two hours away, NYC is close. -Great community supports (libraries, community college system, parks/rec centers, trails)
  8. You could definitely live in DC without a car. We also know people who lived in the closer-in suburbs like Arlington with no car, they just lived along a Metro. You can also use Zipcar which is a car sharing service. People I know use that if they mostly live without a car but need one for some reason. (Example, picking up furniture at Ikea or going on a day trip.)
  9. Podcast: The Popcast when I just want to laugh. Pantsuit Politics is a close second when I want something more substantive. Book: Demon Copperhead. Purchase: On shoes. They have saved my feet. Life Hack: Getting two separate duvets and a king sized bed. It's like sleeping separately, but in the same room. I'd be ok in separate rooms, dh isn't. This is a great compromise and has revolutionized my sleep. Biggest Regret: Nothing major. Life Easier: Let other people do more and stopped micromanaging how they do it. High Point: Lots of performances: King Lear at Shakespeare Theater, Giselle by ABT at Wolftrap, Indigo Girls concert. But also just having my oldest home from college over the summer and all the little everyday stuff we did as a family when he was here.
  10. I checked the first one but I think there is a difference between "tell everything that is in your head" and "bare your soul" and even "confess every sin". I think I can tell dh everything and he would forgive me. But I don't tell him everything that is in my head and I don't think he would want me to. Sometimes he annoys me or I'm bugged by him, I don't tell him that. And I wouldn't want him to tell me everything I do that annoys him. It's not that I couldn't tell him and he wouldn't love me...it's just that I don't think a relationship has to share every single detail to be healthy. Maybe there is a difference between hiding things because you are afraid of what the other person will think and just not sharing because you don't want to. When we were getting married the common advice was to "not let the sun go down on your anger." My pastor's wife at the time gave me great advice. She was a very outspoken and strong woman but she said her advice was "not everything in your head needs to be said aloud". She added "Sometimes, just go to bed and let the light of a new day shine on whatever it is." Those were great pieces of advice.
  11. As a pediatrician, we see people up until 21. We'll see some young adults a bit after that depending on circumstances but we run into issues with insurance after 23 (they often won't cover them seeing a pediatrician) and I think they are better served seeing an adult doctor. If they haven't switched before we start talking to them around age 20 about transitioning to an adult doctor. I also have a lot of parents who ask in the teen years if they should switch and I always answer that I think it depends on the teen and what they are comfortable with. Some prefer to switch to a family doctor as they hate coming to the "baby doctor" but some feel like that they would rather see someone they know than someone new. I personally think they should do whatever the teen prefers. Specialists are a real problem for the kids who are 17-18. Most pediatric specialists won't see new patients who are 18 and older, and some won't make appointments if they even are about to turn 18. I don't know if it's an issue for them with insurance or it's just their policy. Most adult specialists won't see people under the age of 18. So it' snot an uncommon issue for me to have a patient who I need to refer who is 17 and 9 months. The adult doc doesn't want to see them yet and sometimes the pediatric person doesn't either, or they can't get an appointment with them before they are 18. I will say usually if I can call and talk to the doctor themselves and explain the situation they will make exceptions, it's just the front office usually has a policy they are told and they will stick by the age when the parents call. The exception is for people who have seen the specialists for years for a chronic condition or who have a disease that isn't seen as often in adults, sometimes due to typical age of survival. For example, a lot of kids who had complex cardiac defects continue to see the pediatric cardiologist well past 21. Kids with cystic fibrosis used to only see pediatric pulmonologists because there weren't many people who survived into adulthood so the adult pulmonologists weren't as used to seeing them, but that has changed. I have a patient with muscular dystrophy who will probably stay at the same muscular dystrophy clinic that cares for all ages. Same is true for complex genetic disorders.
  12. -Yes you can go in some museums with backpacks. You have to go through security. A few museums will make you check a bag if it's big (usually the art museums) or carry it on your front. If they make you check it, it's free. -Very little requires advanced/timed tickets. The Museum of African American History does. Holocaust museum does. Some specific exhibits will, but I don't know of any right now that do (like when the Vermeer exhibit was at National Gallery you had to have a timed ticket for that but could go to the rest of the museum without it). -You could easily go to all free museums. The Spy Museum has a fee (and is worth it IMO). And then some of the art museums further afield (Philips Gallery) do. But the Smithsonian museums are all free. -Food is a little harder to find on the mall. It's somewhat overpriced. The museum cafeterias are kind of what you expect. The American Indian Museum and the African American Museum both have excellent food. You can find the menus online if you want to look. There are a lot of food trucks that park along the mall. if you venture away from the mall, yes it's very easy to find whatever kind of food you want. Vegan, gluten free, etc. You don't have to go far. It wouldn't be hard to take food outdoors, but March can be kind of iffy weather here and it might be chilly. We used to picnic on the mall all the time when my kids were younger.
  13. Not mentioned... -Yogurts- they have a specific lemon yogurt that I love. But they often don't have it in stock or it might be discontinued or seasonal. That is one of the frustrating (and also sort of fun) things...the things you love will come and go. -Chimichurra -They have a lot of great vegan offerings. The ice cream is a favorite of my son's- specifically the vanilla soy is apparently the best anywhere. They also have a green tea mochi ice cream and a black boba ice cream that my kid's like. -Peanut butter (or almond butter) filled pretzels. -Pizza dough- it's in the refrigerated section and fairly inexpensive. It used to be 79 cents but I haven't gotten it in awhile. Made for a great cheap pizza night. -The milk here is the cheapest anywhere, I have no idea why except that maybe it's priced that way as a loss leader. -My family all likes their mints- the green tea ones and chai ones. I do not. 🙂
  14. I didn't worry about it with my oldest, our state doesn't require us to fulfill any specific classes and I didn't feel like I needed to include it. When my second son went to public school (starting in 10th grade) I had to say we'd done Health so that he could get a credit for PE/Health for 9th grade, otherwise he'd have had to do two years of PE. I just wrote a few sentences saying he had "Explored nutrition as relates to a vegan diet. Discussed drugs and alcohol and sexual health." And he had a CPR certification which I mentioned. They were fine with that with no other documentation.
  15. Trazadone isn't a SSRI, although it is very similar (it's a SARI) and works similarly. It actually isn't FDA approved for insomnia, but it is very commonly used. It was approved as a treatment for depression but the sedative side effects are considerable so it became something was used for insomnia. This is actually really common in medicine, there are a lot of meds that aren't technically FDA approved for the thing they end up being used for. Or that start as one thing and then people realize the side effect is actually more useful than the original usage. One of the more famous examples is Rogaine, which is a blood pressure medication. It just had the side effect of causing hair growth and then people realized there was a huge market for that use.
  16. -I recently went to the African American Museum and it is overwhelming. It would be fairly easy to just go to the upper floors which are more culture focused. We were there for a private event so went to everything but I felt like if I was going to go back I would have done it in smaller sections. It's just a lot of information and a lot to take in. The food there is VERY good. -I am not a huge fan of the American Indian museum as a museum but the food is excellent and the building is beautiful. It's near the Capitol so would be a good place to eat and just to walk in and look at the building. Another quick building down there is the Botanic Gardens, which are right by the Capitol and easy to walk through fairly quickly. -Renwick Gallery is a somewhat lesser known Smithsonian museum, it is off the mall but close (near the White House). It's Art, but focused on craft. It's very cool and one of our favorites. I just saw that it is temporarily closed for some kind of pipe replacement, so check before you come. -If you want a newer area that has a lot of fun places- try the Wharf. It's not as iconic as Georgetown but more modern. Lots of shops, restaurants. They have an outdoor skating rink if you are here in the winter. They also have giant swings on the piers and it's just a fun atmosphere. My daughter loves that kind of thing. There is a theater there called The Anthem that has a lot of concerts. -Ice skating at the rink by the National Gallery is always fun. You can also get hot chocolate at the cafe there. -There are tons of options for concerts/tickets/things. One fun and free option is the Millenium Stage at the Kennedy Center. Everything is free, some are available online first (still free just have to be reserved). https://www.kennedy-center.org/whats-on/millennium-stage/ They have performances every Wed-Sun. The Kennedy Center itself is pretty impressive as a building and there are great views from the balcony/deck outdoors. And there is a new area called The Reach that has a cafe and connects to the bike path by the river. The Reach has some artwork and sometimes also hosts free events.
  17. I don't know if this is the reason but I read a really long article last year in the New Yorker about returns and the whole industry around returning stuff and the basic summary was that returns don't really work the way we think they do. Very little (basically almost nothing) gets returned to the store or site that we buy from. It almost all goes somewhere else to either get destroyed, dumped or to get resold on some other site. This is true even for places like Amazon. One of the startling things in the story to me was that Amazon apparently says that it doesn't dump things in landfills but it's because they burn a lot of the returns. So I'm guessing that returns all go to different places because they have different endpoints...it's not like they are actually going back to an Amazon warehouse. The different companies that are taking the products back are probably contracted to then send them on somewhere...but it's not the same places they get sent. That's somewhat of a guess so I could be really wrong. And I agree with you that it is annoying from a customer side of it.
  18. To be honest, I can't remember what I did for my oldest and can't find his transcript- I think it was on an old computer that died. I remember being really stressed about it though and asking here and finding about half the people said they did 1/2 credit for each and half the people said 1 credit each. FWIW, the final transcript we got from PA homeschoolers gave him a full credit for each. It also gave a full credit for MacroEconomics and a full credit for Microeconomics. He took both classes (Physics E/M and Mechanics) in one year and took both AP tests and the same with the Economics (one year, 2 tests). In the end, I figured colleges were more going to look at the classes as listed and the fact that he was planning on taking the AP tests than how many actual credits it was. I also figured being AP classes, that colleges understood what the classes entailed and didn't really care about the credits as assigned. My son had plenty of science credits so I wasn't particularly worried about it (he had 5 if I listed them separately..Bio, Chem, AP, Chem and both Physics). Sorry, that's not particularly helpful except to say it's a common question and I think a lot of people do something different and it probably works out. Also, in the end he got 8 credits from the college he went to for Physics, so equivalent of two semesters.
  19. We bought a condo when we got married. Dh was 34, I was 28. He had previously lived with his parents in an over the garage apartment so had been able to save a fair amount. We bought our first house three years later, after our oldest was born. So Dh was 37, I was 31. It was a weird set of circumstances, we weren't really planning on buying. A coworker of his was killed in a car accident. The sister sold the house to us at the low end of market rate. Neither of us used realtors and she passed on all the savings to us. In exchange, she didn't have to do any updating to the house to sell it and we also cleaned out a good deal of it for her (she took everything sentimental, we did the rest of the cleanup).
  20. You are definitely not a failure. Homeschooling is hard sometimes. I have three kids, my oldest homeschooled all the way through, my current 11th grader decided to go to public school last year as a 10th grader, my daughter is a 9th grader at public school- having homeschooled up until that point. Homeschooling is hard. Public school is hard. Parenting teens is hard. I have felt like a failure as a parent in both settings and most of the people I know who care about their kids feel frustrated and like they have failed at something at some point, even if they haven't. For the 11th grader....my oldest is a STEM oriented kid who hates hates hates to write. And also hates literary analysis. He loved reading but hated traditional literature kinds of classes. I thought about it as more of a goal. I wanted him to be able to write well enough to succeed in college. But I didn't really care about him turning out a certain amount of work in high school to mimic a high school English credit. (And as an aside, now with kids in public school, there are some things they do at a higher standard than ours and some things they do at a much lower standard than ours...in honors English in a pretty high performing school my kids have read THREE books in an entire year. I wish I'd known that when I was homeschooling my oldest and worrying about whether I was doing "enough".) So for my oldest, he could write but hated it. It helped to just assign him less writing so that he knew it wasn't busy work and also to have him write for things he liked rather than lit analysis or something that he hated. In college now at a small liberal arts college, he is thriving. He is a Math/Comp Sci major but took a class first semester with a History professor who he loved. It was a freshman seminar type of class but he loved the guy and rediscovered a love of history. He has now taken a ton of History classes and had to write a lot for those and done well. So I'd ask yourself if more if your son has writing skills? And if not, what can you do to work on those skills? What is about writing that is the issue for him? Is it coming up with creative topics? Is it just doing something he doesn't like? You could scaffold writing quite a bit instead of assigning essays. The classes that helped my son the most were the ones at Lukeion, which was also where he took Latin. He had to write a fair amount for Latin and he hated the writing but liked the subject so it was ok. (Similarly he didn't mind as much writing for AP Physics or Chemistry when it was lab reports, it's a different kind of writing.) Lukeion also has some writing classes and those were good for him and then he did the Shakespeare classes there as his English classes senior year and the writing he did in those was all I required. For the 9th grader, I will echo the previous poster. You may not know what they accept or require until you meet with them. I had been told by all the homeschoolers in our area that the public schools would not accept homeschool credits and the website of the school system kind of also made it seem that way. But they accepted all our credits, even for completely mom-designed and graded classes. They also placed him appropriately in all the classes. So it might surprise you. I'll also add that it was absolutely the right decision for us and our son to have him got to public school. There are a lot of things he doesn't like about it, but overall it's been good. And it helped me be able to just become an advocate and helper to him which has been a more positive relationship than before.
  21. Like what kind of advice? Whether or not to get a credit card? Or how to get one?
  22. My second son entered public school as a 10th grader after homeschooling up to that point, my daughter started this year as a 9th grader. I felt like they were both as prepared as we could possibly be, but I didn't really do anything special to prepare them. I agree with those who say the social challenges and just the challenge of being somewhere all day has been a bigger adjustment than the actual academics. I would also agree that the difference between honors and non-honors has been huge. My son took mostly non-honors at first because the guidance counselors sort of encouraged that when we signed up. And he was going more for mental health reasons than academics so I was okay with it being an easy year. It was a huge mistake as the regular classes were too easy for him and somewhat boring. He was able to switch in some of them so that he had more of a challenge and this year he is in more appropriate classes. My daughter started off with all honors and some have been very challenging and some just kind of average. I think the hardest class for my daughter as far as homeschool not preparing her has been French. She did two years online with Aim Academy and I think it was solid, but the amount of speaking she had to do was much less than if she had been in a regular classroom. She has a very good teacher though and she is doing okay in the class. I'm not sure what we could have done differently though as we are not a bilingual home so any language would probably have been an issue. We could have started her in a different language at the first year level as a 9th grader but that would have meant she had to take a language all four years and she didn't want to be locked into that. My son took ASL as his language and that has been an easier adjustment. Writing has really not been an issue for either of them and we did not do a ton of formal writing in our school. We did write, but it wasn't as structured as what I hear others on here describing. They have some timed essays, but especially for the 9th grader they really take them through the process ahead of time. Their school is an IB school (International Baccalaureate) so the classes in 9th and 10th grade are somewhat structured to give them the skills they would need for IB classes/tests. So for example, she will have an essay test but will have multiple class periods ahead of time to prepare for it. Or they have this other history research skills thing they have to do that goes the whole year and each step is kind of separate and graded. My guess is that it's preparing them for a paper they would do in 11th or 12th grade where they wouldn't have the steps separated but this is giving them the skills. I think the other thing that for me as a homeschooling parent has been an adjustment is knowing how much to help and when to step in. There have been a few things I've had to intervene on but I think I probably waited too long. I wasn't sure how much parental involvement was okay, but we've had two issues where it was clear that as soon as I got involved they got handled. Knowing my role as a parent but not a homeschooling teacher/parent/guidance counselor/principal etc. has been I think as much of an adjustment for me as school has been for them. Maybe more so. Overall though I'll say that I think it's been a very positive thing for both kids, for different reasons.
  23. Thanks for all the advice. Lots to work with here!
  24. It's hard to say where the clogs hurt because they hurt so much now that it just feels like everywhere. It's mostly across the top I think though. It's not the arch. I have tried New Balance in the past, I could do that again. That is what I used to get for walking shoes because they did have the wide toe box. But they I was gifted a pair of the On shoes at the beginning of the pandemic and really liked them. I used to just use them for walking but have now shifted to wearing them all the time. (They aren't the same ones, just the same brand). I have been fitted at a running sore for my current On shoes. I tried the Hokas because I knew a lot of people that swore that they were the best if you had to stand for a long time or had feet issues. But I didn't like them. I can't remember why but they felt weird to me. Yes, I agree, they just didn't work for me. I haven't tried other Birks, I have thought about that. And yes, I know, I need to see the podiatrist. 🙂 I'm not sure if part of my issue is going around too much without shoes. I much prefer to be barefoot, always have. I don't like the constricting feeling of shoes. But I have noticed that if I'm doing a lot around the house and not wearing shoes it makes my feet hurt. Which leads me to wonder if the minimal shoe brands would also be an issue. I tried a pair of something that was supposed to be zero drop at the running store (can't remember the brand...I tried on so many shoes that day that they all ran together) and they definitely hurt.
  25. I need new shoes that don't hurt. I have a myriad of foot issues: bunions (worse on one side than the other), what I think is probably a Morton's neuroma, possible arthritis and wide feet. I currently have really two pair of shoes that don't hurt. One is a pair of On shoes- specifically the On Cloudgo. They are my second pair of On shoes and I've liked them both. I can get more and probably will. The only downside so far is that the upper is fabric and so I end up getting a hole on the sides where I have bunions (wears away faster there than elsewhere). The other pair is Birkenstocks, specifically the Arizona sandals. I am a pediatrician so on days I work I have to have something closed toe and I'm on my feet a lot. It's fairly casual so I can wear the On sneakers but I would love to have something that looks slightly nicer as they don't look always look great, depending on what I am wearing. I'd also like something slightly nicer I can wear other places. Other info that might help...I have a pair of Dansko clogs that I used to like but now hurt so much everytime I wear them. I only got them two years ago so I'm not sure if my feet changed or what the issue is. I know I can go to specialized stores, and I will probably do that but the stores I've been to either seem to have people who want to sell something particular (like the Danskos) or they are not that knowledgeable. So I'd like to go into the store with some specific things in mind that I'm looking at/for. I also know I should probably go to a podiatrist, I'm going to try to do that in the new year.
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