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Everything posted by fruitofthewomb

  1. The few instances I know of are small churches (so no 'boards') & I wasnt a member. All baptist. Mostly over what I consider petty things-not visiting the sick enough, supposedly stealing sermons from the Internet, & I don't know what else. All was talked about in the open. Church voted on whether he should stay or go. Some may not consider those petty things but I can overlook a lot.
  2. It is very stressful so I can imagine that depression could be more prominent. I know the divorce rate is very high. When we went through orientation at our hospital (St Jude) we were told that their divorce rate is 90%.
  3. It's quite a roller coaster. And traumatic. DH & I didn't grieve in the same way which took its toll the first year after she was diagnosed. We were able to move on from that. Sometimes I wish he would walk a mile in my shoes. And I sometimes wish I could see through his eyes. It can't be easy to be him.
  4. It isn't benign. It's low grade though. She was dx 5 yrs ago. At some point there was rapid growth. It is infiltrative type-not a mass. And there is a lot of it. Covers about 30% of brain. Long term prognosis-no clue really. Right now I would say it's good. But it could begin to grow again & she would face radiation. Oncologist said that she would not live to be an old lady but that she would graduate high school. I really don't know what her future will look like.
  5. Thank you. I am now realizing this isn't a homeschool vs public school issue. It's a marriage issue. I plan to make appt with my counselor for next week. Maybe I need to involve pastor again. He isn't great with mental health type things but I know he would pray & be supportive. I am also going to call Montessori school & set up tour. I am also thinking about what to ask public schools. You all have been very helpful. Sorry I was so sensitive earlier in the thread.
  6. We do have a mother's helper that comes one afternoon a week. She babysits while I take DD to OT (down the road). I can run errands during OT. Then I come home & pay bills, planning, prepping, etc while she plays with kids & does light cleaning. I would like for her to come another day a week but VT is taking up a lot of our funds right now. We cut back on her time here bc of that. The VT is what is so far away. OT is in town. I think she would probably get the same amt of OT at PS. The VT would be winding down by the time school starts in Aug. DH won't even talk to our pastor-who he loves & has a great relationship with. Last year I told our pastor about some of our struggles & he was shocked. DH seems to have it together at church & work. Pastor took DH to lunch & DH played it down I think. Nothing else ever came of it. Pastor probably thinks I was crazy or hormonal. My MIL & all my family sees it too though. I have tried every angle I can think of to get DH to wake up to reality. It's like talking to a brick wall. And I always walk away wondering if it really is all my fault.
  7. Yes! DH isn't happy that I put DD in 1at grade CLE though she is 3rd grade. He doesn't understand that it is giving her confidence, laying a very solid foundation, shoring up shaky skills, etc. He just can't get behind it. When I say-she did great in math today-he says well she should be doing great it's 1st grade math. I am trying to explain the long term but he doesn't get it. Which makes me doubt the path we are on. But he isn't the one who spends hours reading, researching, planning, & then teaching.
  8. I have been thinking about all you said & just want to say thank you. I am having a hard time putting my thoughts into words but so much of what you said touched my heart.
  9. I re-read this just now & don't know why I felt upset reading it the first time. I can be too sensitive at times & I am sorry. It is very good advice. Thank you!
  10. He wants her to be normal so badly that he can't admit that it's the tumor. He downplays all of her issues so much that I sometimes feel crazy. And she would have missed a lot of days over the years. And who knows what the future holds. Med changes are the worst. If she was in school when those have happened in the past there would be no way she could keep pace. He wants me to work bc I have the potential to earn a very nice salary. He wants to 'get ahead' although we have a nice amt of $$ in savings. We choose to live frugally so we can pay cash for things. He wants nicer house on lots of land & newer cars & be debt free. He worries about money constantly. i guess he thinks that if I worked his money worries would be over. But there are so many expenses related to working outside the home & the fact that we have 5 kids (one of which who has medical issues) means I won't be able to earn as much as he thinks.
  11. I know it wasn't your intention. I am just upset. I agree with all you said.
  12. Thanks. I didn't have much choice on appt times. And one is over an hours drive one way.
  13. Thanks all. It's a lot to take in. I am thinking over all the comments.
  14. I thought it might be ok bc of low ratio. But she does need explicit instructions.
  15. I really do try. Take today for example. Baby had tummy ache & didn't sleep well. I was slow getting around bc I am tired. Baby is cranky this morning & cries when I am not holding her. Oldest DD needs quiet & calm to work. when weather is good I send baby out with 7 yr old. Cool & wet here today so that isn't option. We have OT this afternoon so nap time school isn't option (we have therapy 2 days a week in afternoons). There is some variation of this at least 2 days a week. Last week it was stomach bug. Week before it was something else. And so on. I love routine & schedules and I know that is what is best for all. I love my 1 yr old but since she was born life has been chaotic! She was difficult right from the moment I found out I was pregnant!
  16. Thanks. I am under doctor's care. If I sent the one to public school and one to preschool then I would have a 3 yr old & 1 yr old at home with me & DD. I don't think that would work out very well. My 7 yr old DD is great at helping me with little ones & if she is gone I dont know how I would get much done. So I think sending all the 'old enough' ones would be only real option.
  17. She just had testing done by neuropsych in December so they shouldn't need to re-eval.
  18. I have gone to counseling but it got pushed to the side lately. We have 5 kids ages 1 to 9-all girls. I don't think there are any outsourcing abilities here unless it's online but that is limited bc of our internet service. I worked in a public school & was underwhelmed to say the least. Specific concerns for oldest is that the school will give us a big run around & services will be delayed & sub par. I have some knowledge of the districts here & none are especially great & a few are definite no! My other school age girl would probably do fine in PS but I don't care for the way things are done in PS. We are Christians & that worldview is important to me. I also really identify with relaxed early school, reading classics, spending lots of time outside, etc. but I am just not able to carry it out the way I envisioned. There is a small Christian Montessori school that has rave reviews. It is a lot of money & we could probably only send one. It might be good choice for oldest with LDs. She has brain tumor & seizures so I am also concerned about medical side of things. I don't think it would be an issue at any school but it's in the back of my mind. We have lost months of school time due to medication issues & dr appts. Thanks for the hugs. I need them today.
  19. And I know marriage counseling would be #1 on advice list but DH refuses. He says we already know all the stuff a counselor will say-it's just that we don't or won't do it. Sigh.
  20. We are trying to make a decision for what school will look like for our family next year. Without giving too much personal info-we have had some personal struggles this year (marriage, PPD, behavior problems with neuro typical kids, very needy baby). Plus oldest dd being diagnosed with ADHD & math LD. Some days I feel too overwhelmed with it all & feel like I don't give my best to any of the kids. Other days are awesome-exactly what I imagine a 'good' home school looks like. I am not consistent enough. I try to follow routines but it seems like something inevitably messes it up. DH wants to send them to school. He wants me to go back to work part time. He thinks this will solve all the problems. I disagree. I think it is exchanging one headache for another. Homework, dealing with special Ed services, school activities, driving, etc. He also thinks that DDs LD are my fault. He has no confidence in my ability to do this successfully. And maybe he is right. I think he is in denial (DD has many issues). But like I said-we have marriage issues so I try not to let him in my head too much. I just need to talk it out with other moms who have LD kids & home school. My sister does not understand why I am so torn up about this. I don't want to put them in school. But I just feel like a failure most days & dont understand why it's so hard! How do you know when it's time to throw in the towel? How do you determine if your decisions are sound vs fear based? Help please
  21. Thank you for this! I am sure many do it for fun but my I have a family member who 'believes in' the Long Island Medium. Like she is a prophet from God. It's very strange.
  22. Yes I meant sensitivity-not allergy. It was late & I was half asleep. She passed gas all night in her sleep. It was spicy. But not a new spice. Maybe just the amount. No one else in the house has allergies/sensitivities so I just wasn't sure what was up!
  23. My 15 month old loved the tilapia I fixed for dinner. My MIL changed what she said was a 'gross & terribly stinky' diaper about 2 hrs later. Then about 7 lhrs after eating it she woke up screaming & couldn't be consoled. She had explosive diarrhea & then calmed down. Could this indicate an allergy? Or just a tummy ache? She had stomach flu last week & didn't act like that! It was terrible! None of my other kids has any kind of allergies.
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