s/o (for fun): what was the craziest / funniest / rudest thing said to you at a grocery check-out?

[SKL]

The other conversation about the value of talking to a human in the checkout line got me thinking.

I think my most cringy checkout convo went like this:

her:  "Your kids must look like their dad."

me:  "I don't know, I have no idea what their dad looks like."

pause for processing ....

her:  "OH they're adopted!  I'm so sorry!  I want to adopt kids someday too!"

me:  "That's nice ... well bye ...."

[HomeAgain]

I had an attendant be adamant that I needed to be carded for the Martinelli's I was purchasing and that it MUST be in the system wrong.  We argued for a bit over it until a manage said it was fine.

Apple juice.  Not allowed to be on my way because I wanted sparkling apple juice.

I thought that was bad enough, until I moved and did have to be carded over buying New Year's Eve tooting horns. No snappers, poppers, or anything else that might be construed as slight dangerous.  And my cashier was too young to have the authority herself to complete the transaction.

[Bambam]

Does Hobby Lobby count? 
I had an older lady who asked me if my two children were my grandchildren. Now, I did have my kids when I was older, and thanks to family genetics, we all start graying early, but at the time, I was a little outraged. I told her that no, these were my children. However, I did think about adding, I didn't have my children when I was 14 like folks did when you were younger.  Those things don't bother me now. But at the time, I was surprised. She was probably a nice lady who just spoke without thinking. 

[Ann.without.an.e]

2 minutes ago, Bambam said:

I didn't have my children when I was 14 like folks did when you were younger.  Those things don't bother me now. But at the time, I was surprised. She was probably a nice lady who just spoke without thinking. 

Idk, that would've been a pretty good comeback. I'm sure in your day having kids at 14 was standard lol. 

[MrsMommy]

Not the checker, but another customer told me I had too many kids, RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM. I can count on one hand how many times I've directed bad language at another human being, and that was one of them.

[Ann.without.an.e]

My rudest was at Hobby Lobby too. It was the manager of all people. I should've reported him and been more angry at the situation. 

I had some items custom framed. At checkout I asked for the manager and said I really appreciated the framing associate's help and wanted him to know that she did a great job. He looked at me with disgust and said "what is she, your aunt? a relative of some sort? who is she to you?" with such an accusatory tone as if I was doing something wrong by letting him know how helpful she was. I was too shocked to respond.

Edited December 16, 2022 by Ann.without.an.e

[teachermom2834]

Well…once when I was buying a six pack of Mike’s Hard Lemonade I was asked if I know Jesus. 
 

 

[Ann.without.an.e]

Just now, teachermom2834 said:

Well…once when I was buying a six pack of Mike’s Hard Lemonade I was asked if I know Jesus. 
 

 

 

Man, I hope you responded "yes, turns out he prefers wine" 🤣

[fairfarmhand]

I have 4 kids. Only the last two have any sort of resemblance to one another or me. My 3 girls are redhead, brunette and blond. 
“what lovely children. Do they all have the same dad?” 

[Storygirl]

DD17 was adopted and looks nothing like me. She is also Latina, and I am white. A few years ago, I bought her a pack of gum at the checkout, and she put it in her pocket instead of in the bag. When we got out to the car, she told me that she overheard the mom and child behind her having a conversation: "Mom, that girl stole that gum." "Well, some people steal."

I was outraged, but it was well past the time when I could have done anything to correct their thinking.

[OH_Homeschooler]

I have always looked younger than my age, so I've had some issues purchasing alcohol. One time when I was around 25 a checkout lady insisted on seeing my ID,--okay no problem. So I showed it to her and she didn't believe it was real. Went on and on, "Oh wow, this is a good one!" (implying it was fake). Never went back there. Another time my mom asked me to pick something up for a party and the checkout lady told me "Now this beer is on the receipt so your mom will see that you bought it." I just shrugged and said I was buying it for my mom so... I mean overall it's a good thing to look young but people just get so rude sometimes. 

I was also told that I should be breastfeeding when I was purchasing baby formula one time. Yes I am aware, ma'am. 

 

[Indigo Blue]

I can only think of the time at Publix when I brought about 20 items or so to an express lane. I didn’t notice that it was. One person was in front of me. I was standing there, just oblivious to the world and to the fact that I was in the express lane when I heard a man with a deep voice, “You DO realize you’re in the express lane, right?” I looked to see who was talking to me. He looked so annoyed. I looked at the lane marker thing. It said “Express lane”. I felt like I wanted to disappear into the bushes. So….I just took my probably 20 or less items, apologized, and began to back my cart out. At that, the guy said, “Well, you’re already here. You can stay.” I thought, nope, you’ve already said something….and you are very annoyed….Ima move over there….

So, I did. I did still get through checkout and leave before he did, somehow…..lol.

So, I don’t guess he was really being rude because I was in the wrong line, but I can’t think of anything else that happened… that was really rude. 

 

 

[elegantlion]

My rudest was about a decade ago at Walmart (the only grocery store where I lived at the time). I was chatting with a cashier like you do. She was probably in her 50s at the time. When I pulled out my food stamp card to pay, her whole countenance & expression changed. She then refused to talk to me for the rest of the transaction. I avoided her line for the rest of the time we lived there. I mean, I get it. Being a cashier, standing on your feet most of the day is not fun but I was ticked, she didn't know my story and I didn't need her judgement. 

Edited December 16, 2022 by elegantlion

[Laura Corin]

3 minutes ago, elegantlion said:

My rudest was about a decade ago at Walmart (the only grocery store where I lived at the time). I was chatting with a cashier like you do. She was probably in her 50s at the time. When I pulled out my food stamp card to pay, her whole countenance & expression changed. She then refused to talk to me for the rest of the transaction. I avoided her line for the rest of the time we lived there. I mean, I get it. Being a cashier, standing on your feet most of the day is not fun but I was ticked, she didn't know my story and I didn't need her judgement. 

Cashiers stand?  They sit here.  They don't bag, so there's no reason for them to be mobile.

[Vintage81]

3 minutes ago, OH_Homeschooler said:

I have always looked younger than my age, so I've had some issues purchasing alcohol. One time when I was around 25 a checkout lady insisted on seeing my ID,--okay no problem. So I showed it to her and she didn't believe it was real. Went on and on, "Oh wow, this is a good one!" (implying it was fake). Never went back there. Another time my mom asked me to pick something up for a party and the checkout lady told me "Now this beer is on the receipt so your mom will see that you bought it." I just shrugged and said I was buying it for my mom so... I mean overall it's a good thing to look young but people just get so rude sometimes. 

This happens to me a lot too.

This is a little different from the grocery store, but our neighborhood has lots of tree-trimmer companies that go around knocking on people's doors to see if they want their trees cut. So one day I opened the door and a guy from one of these companies was there and he asked, "Can I speak to your parents?" I chuckled a little and told him that I was actually the owner of the house. I don't know if he believed me or not because he looked a little confused. Needless to say he did not get my business. 😂

[KatieJ]

Costco cashier : “what a cute top!”

Me: “Thank you, I made it.”

Costco assistant putting groceries in my cart: “Show off”

 

She did come running after me to apologize,  I assume after the cashier  told her that was rude. 

Edited December 16, 2022 by KatieJ

[Loowit]

My worst experiences were when I would use my WIC checks.  Cashiers would argue with me about stuff.  They would tell me I couldn't get organic milk.  I could.  They would tell me I had to get everything on the check, and I didn't.  I told them that I was not getting the peanut butter because my baby was deathly allergic and I couldn't have it in the house.  Many of them would talk down to me like I was stupid, but fortunately I also met some very nice and helpful cashiers as well.

[teachermom2834]

Well the most embarrassing thing that happened with a cashier was something my dd said to the cashier at Aldi. We had recently moved here and I was lonely and didn’t have any girlfriends like I had in my old town. I don’t remember complaining about that but my dd is very sensitive to my feelings- and she is very forward. She was 7 yo at the time.

So the Aldi cashier is checking me out and I have a large order so I’m small talking and being friendly. My dd pipes up. “Will you be my mom’s friend?” Dd went on to explain, as I tried to shush her that I need friends, that I’m really nice and I like coffee and I can text her my number etc etc. 

It was so embarrassing. And so funny. And so sweet. She is 14 now and has learned a little restraint but it still is so her 🙂 

[Forget-Me-Not]

I was at Costco, and had a baby in the shopping cart.  He was old enough to sit well on his own, so he went down the cart side, while I went down the pay side; he was in my sight the whole time.  At the end of the transaction, the guy reloading the cart gave the cart a huge shove and sent it literally spinning out into the traffic in front of the food court.  I said something along the lines of "Don't send the cart with my baby out like that!!!" and the lady in line behind me literally snarled at me and said it wouldn't have happened if I'd been watching my kid.  Um what?! I was so stunned and puzzled by her response that I just didn't respond to her.  

I did, however, complain about the guy reloading the cart to the manager on the floor.  

[elegantlion]

10 minutes ago, Laura Corin said:

Cashiers stand?  They sit here.  They don't bag, so there's no reason for them to be mobile.

Yes, they stand and depending upon the store, they also bag. Aldi is the only grocery I've frequented (midwestern & Southern US) where cashiers sit. I wish more stores followed the European model. 

[Corraleno]

I don't know why so many cashiers think they have a right to know all the details of a customer's adoption, but I got some incredibly rude questions when DD was a baby: Where'd you get her from? How much did you pay for her? Why didn't her birthmother want her? Why didn't you adopt an American baby?  Ugh.

[Ann.without.an.e]

37 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

I have 4 kids. Only the last two have any sort of resemblance to one another or me. My 3 girls are redhead, brunette and blond. 
“what lovely children. Do they all have the same dad?” 

I have a friend with 6 kiddos, all bio, but they look nothing alike. She gets this question all.the.time. She started saying "nah, some of them are from the milk man" 😉 

[Junie]

A neighbor who has 9 kids was at the grocery store and the man behind her in line asked her, "How are you going to pay for college?" And she just looked him in the eye and responded, "Are you offering to help?"

[Ann.without.an.e]

When I had three under 5, I wish I'd had this lol

Edited December 16, 2022 by Ann.without.an.e

[Rachel]

I grew up in a combined family, 5 of us kids within 3 years of each other. Certain times of year our ages appear to stagger. So the cashier asked my (step)mom the ages of us kids. She answered, “10,9,8, and those two are 7.”  The cashier asked, “They twins?” My mom just replied, “Nope they are a month apart!” Then walked off. We still laugh about how long that cashier must have tried to figure out how that happened. 
 

My dad and (step)mom would frequently get asked which kids were theirs. We were all raised in the same house from a young age and had the same last name. My bio-mom wasn’t really in the picture. We all belonged to both of them. Even today I will be asked which siblings are my “real” siblings. 
 

I spent a long time as a cashier in various places and you carry on a lot of small talk. It’s inevitable you will say something dumb, so I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. 
 

 

[prairiewindmomma]

I also had my first three kids in four years.

I have had several times when a cashier has said, “You know what causes that, don’t you?”

I eventually began replying, “Yes, I do, and I like it a lot.”

 

[Scarlett]

1 hour ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

I have a friend with 6 kiddos, all bio, but they look nothing alike. She gets this question all.the.time. She started saying "nah, some of them are from the milk man" 😉 

https://www.orissapost.com/dna-tests-prove-milkman-fathered-over-800-children-in-california/amp/
 

 

ps. It is a fake story

[Tanaqui]

Okay, well, on a different tack I've lived in this neighborhood since I was 10, and I started doing most of the routine grocery shopping before I left middle school.

And I get a lot of talk from cashiers along the lines of "Oh, I remember, you used to always have so many cats!" (Yeah, it was a bad time in our lives, I try not to talk about it, thanks for bringing it up) and "Oh, I remember that time your kid did that embarrassing thing, how is she now?" (Nonbinary, also an adult, it's been 15 years, please stop bringing it up, we are all REALLY over that story) and so on.

Not that I say the things I'm thinking. They're just trying to make conversation. Which is why it is so awkward.... Unlike all your examples, I know they're being friendly!

[Annie G]

At the Joann’s cutting table, having fabric cut for a baby quilt. Lady asks what I’m making. Baby quilt. “Oh nice! When are you due?”

I was 53 years old, and a size 10. I told her it was for my fourth grandchild. Instead of apologizing, she blurted out, “Well, you look pregnant and old people have babies now”

Yup, she managed to insult both my age and my weight in one fell swoop. 

[Hilltopmom]

Oh, I’ve got one!!

We were on our way home from a French and Indian historical re enactment still in full dress. 
The girl at a cafe check out asked “what are you, in some weird religious cult or something??” While pointing to our outfits.

Um, no. And if we were, wow, that was an inappropriate statement!

added an old pic for fun 

Edited December 16, 2022 by Hilltopmom
Added pic

[Hilltopmom]

Oops- double post

 

Edited December 16, 2022 by Hilltopmom
Double post

[alysee]

I always get comments on how many kids I have, or if I was a teen mom or whether my kids have the same father. I usually just respond back with a why? It makes them think about why they asked me the question and then usually they realize what they said comes off as rude. Luckily it doesnt happen as often as it did pre-covid. Theres less small talk now. 

[scholastica]

Just this morning at Trader Joe’s the checker said, “Those are some well-loved bags!” In the parking lot my dd said “That’s just a nice way of saying ‘those bags are really beat-up.’” Yup, we re-use our reusable bags. Imagine that!

[Elizabeth86]

Not rude, but a funny AF thing was just said to me this week.

The girl scans my bag of avocados and it pops up black seedless grapes. I told her that she just rang them up as black seedless grapes. She said, “well that’s what they are.” I’m like NO. 😅She said, well what are they? Um… avocados. Maybe she didn’t know what they were, but I think anyone would know they were NOT grapes. 😂

[Ann.without.an.e]

I remember a funny one from Trader Joe's. I was trying to figure out why some of the hams were in silver wrapping and some in gold so I asked the young lady who worked there if she knew the difference and she stared at them a while and said "oh, I know, the ones in gold are kosher".

I think her eyes just picked up on the writing that stated "kosher salt" but that was on both hams. But that now leads me to wonder why one would bold that on the packaging of ham anyway? 😂

[HomeAgain]

13 minutes ago, Elizabeth86 said:

Not rude, but a funny AF thing was just said to me this week.

The girl scans my bag of avocados and it pops up black seedless grapes. I told her that she just rang them up as black seedless grapes. She said, “well that’s what they are.” I’m like NO. 😅She said, well what are they? Um… avocados. Maybe she didn’t know what they were, but I think anyone would know they were NOT grapes. 😂

One of our cashiers is a sweet old lady.  She is always perplexed by what we buy.  The last time she held up our "tomato" (persimmon) and asked, "what do you even DO with that?" 😂

 

[Pintosrock]

I was at Old Navy, buying kids dinosaur tshirts, on my own. Cashier says to me, "Oh, I bet you have a son who loves dinosaurs."

No, I have a DAUGHTER who loves dinosaurs! 

This was a few years ago. I hope we've gotten beyond the girls love pink and princesses thing.

[Corraleno]

Oh, I have a weird TJs story: 

Last week I had an unusually talkative cashier who was just chatting away when she noticed that one of the insulated bags I brought was from Whole Foods. She leans over and says "OK, now tell the truth, when was the last time you shopped at Whole Foods?" I said "uh, yesterday actually," and she looked taken aback, said "Huh," and finished scanning my groceries without another word. I have no idea what that was about! Like did she think it was disloyal to TJs that I also occasionally shop at Whole Foods? Did she think I just bought a Whole Foods bag as some kind of status symbol even though I don't really shop there? It was so weird!

Another what-the-heck-was-that-about story:

Once I was grabbing a few groceries at Target and the cashier was a young guy around 18-19. He scanned a bag of mandarins and asked what they were; I said they're mandarins and he asked if people eat the peel of those. I said no, the only citrus I know of where people eat the whole fruit, peel and all, are kumquats. He looked really shocked, and quickly finished scanning and handed my receipt without a word. The only explanation I can think of is that he'd never heard of kumquats and thought it was a dirty word!

[TechWife]

I was buying jeans at JC Penney a long time ago and the woman who checked me out told me I needed to gain some weight. 

[gardenmom5]

The rudest thing said by a clerk was at a gas station.

I was pregnant with my third child.  I drove an 18 yo Volvo station wagon that had seen happier days . . . 

The guy started lecturing me on over population.  He assumed I was low-income, etc.  Um - I own my house moron.   (I did lecture him back about what a replacement birthrate is, and the challenge a declining population creates in those countries with a birthrate below the replacement rate.  I should have gone to his boss.)

[Ann.without.an.e]

Ooh Penny's reminds me of the time I shopped there when my kids were pretty young. I bought some curtains and the lady said "oh, these are pretty, which room are they for?" and I said "our homeschool room". Fortunately she was the only person to really accost me for homeschooling. She just went on and on about how worried she was for my poor children, they would never get into college, or have a decent education!"  She was truly traumatized at the idea. If there was one person I could have wrapped back around to when dd got a full ride to a top university just to say "man, ruined her chances, didn't we?" it def would've been her lol. 

[Indigo Blue]

1 hour ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

If there was one person I could have wrapped back around to when dd got a full ride to a top university just to say "man, ruined her chances, didn't we?" it def would've been her lol. 

Wouldn’t that be great? I’d like to do the same to the teacher that called my son (then 4th grade) a loser. She’d be in for a surprise. 
 

Sorry….carry on…..

[Carrie12345]

Not a grocery check out, but a bartender carded Dh… not me. On our honeymoon. We were 23.  
Jerk!

[Melissa Louise]

I took my then little kids with me to the fruit market. They were just being normal, so far I as understand normal, as in they had been helping choose produce and I was talking with them about what we were going to bake when we got home, and then at the checkout, they were just standing talking to each other in front of me.

The cashier, observing them standing next to me, said "Why are they so good? It's so weird the way they're standing there. My kid would be running up and down the aisle."

I didn't really know what to say about that, but I always felt a slight shame afterwards when my kids would be 'good' aka 'easy' in public.

 

 

[Elizabeth86]

1 hour ago, HomeAgain said:

One of our cashiers is a sweet old lady.  She is always perplexed by what we buy.  The last time she held up our "tomato" (persimmon) and asked, "what do you even DO with that?" 😂

 

And I totally get that here is rural Appalachia. The grocery store workers often ask me what things are and I completely get that. Just the fact that she thought they were black grapes. They weren’t even turning dark, they were SO GREEN. 😂

[Katy]

3 hours ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

When I had three under 5, I wish I'd had this lol

I must have the worst RBF, because the only remotely rude comment I’ve ever gotten about my kids was this one. Usually only when actually overwhelmed. 

3 hours ago, Hilltopmom said:

Oh, I’ve got one!!

We were on our way home from a French and Indian historical re enactment still in full dress. 
The girl at a cafe check out asked “what are you, in some weird religious cult or something??” While pointing to our outfits.

Um, no. And if we were, wow, that was an inappropriate statement!

added an old pic for fun 

And now I know @Hilltopmom looks exactly like a college friend of mine!

2 hours ago, Elizabeth86 said:

Not rude, but a funny AF thing was just said to me this week.

The girl scans my bag of avocados and it pops up black seedless grapes. I told her that she just rang them up as black seedless grapes. She said, “well that’s what they are.” I’m like NO. 😅She said, well what are they? Um… avocados. Maybe she didn’t know what they were, but I think anyone would know they were NOT grapes. 😂

I’ve had this happen too. It was a teenage boy who’d clearly never eaten fresh anything in his life! 🤣

[Melissa Louise]

Oh yeah, also the woman at the check-out who kept asking me if my girls were twins. They were 21 months apart. One was a toddler, the other was not a toddler. I told her no, they were not twins. "Really? They look like twins."

A variation on that, happened more than once in different situations:

"Are you the nanny?"

"No, I am their mother."

"Really? I thought you were their nanny."

"No, I'm their mum."

"Oh, but they're not the same color as you?"

Sigh...

[Junie]

This wasn't a comment, exactly, but facial expressions said enough.  (And I thought it was funny, not rude.)

A few years ago, I was in line at a store with ds-then18ish and I was talking with the customer behind me in line.  It was Valentine's Day and the man behind us asked me if I knew how to take care of a bouquet of roses.  I explained how to cut them, etc., and he asked me how I knew how to do that.  I told him that I had been married for 20+ years and that I had learned over time.  The look on the man's face was priceless as it dawned on him that the young man with me was my son and not my significant other.

[Condessa]

A friend of mine was in line at a grocery store with five kids when a lady behind her said loudly to her companion, “Some people just don’t know when to stop!”  My friend turned and told her, “These four are my brothers and sisters.  Our mom died two weeks ago and I’m raising them now.”

[KungFuPanda]

8 hours ago, teachermom2834 said:

Well…once when I was buying a six pack of Mike’s Hard Lemonade I was asked if I know Jesus. 
 

 

 

8 hours ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

 

Man, I hope you responded "yes, turns out he prefers wine" 🤣

I was thinking “Yes, he’s bringing the wine.” 😄